XRay Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 126. Go to everyone's desk and tell them they are fired. 127. Dial 911 and tell them there is an emergency at work when there is none. 128. Cover the floor completely with mouse traps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benice Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 129. Try to imitate the office Characters Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 130. Step on pairs of eye glasses claiming that you're doing it as a durability test. 131. "Buy" the cubicle adjacent to you from your co-worker and take up two areas so you can day that you're expanding your work space. 132. Hand out gamer girl bath water in drinking cups to your fellow co-workers and your boss. 133. Announce, "Try this at home kids!" as you stuff pencils into your mouth to look like you have super long downward fangs. 134. Give a loud and clear chuckle every time you hear the number 34 announced by any of your superiors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 135. Do what Plumeria does, but describe it outloud in front of everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 9 hours ago, XRay said: 135. Do what Plumeria does, but describe it outloud in front of everyone. Plumeria from Pokemon or FEH and what does she do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 (edited) 136. Spoiling your bosses and coworkers about their favorite movies, stories, etc. 8 minutes ago, Dragoncat said: Plumeria from Pokemon or FEH and what does she do? Spoilers for Fire Emblem Heroes, or should I say, Fire Emblem Eros: Spoiler Plumeria is the personification of lewd dreams. She goes around making people wet their beds the adult way. Sweet Dreams as her Dance skill? Ha! More like wet dreams! Edited January 8, 2020 by XRay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 137. Call in sick because you got lost in the Forest of No Return. 138. Apply several bottles of glue on the feet of several chairs and set them in the ground and tell everyone that you're doing this so the chairs stop falling over. 139. Stare at the ceiling and tell passerbys that you know the lightbulbs could go out any second and that you'll be there to replace them as soon as they black out. 140. Summon an army of wooden toy soldiers to follow behind you to work while using a toy boat as a handheld means of destruction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 141. Go on strike whenever a customer walks in. 142. Pee in the coffee machine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 143. Steal a bottle of powder from a cabinet and go sprinkling everything on it in an attempt to bring everything to life. 144. Call in sick saying that you can't find a good head yo bring in to work today. 145. Serve everyone in the building some lovely limestone pies and hot melted silver. 146. Stand around and stop moving and tell everyone asking about what you're doing that no one has come to wind up your action yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 147. Call in and say you can't come in because you have anal blindness, you can't see your ass working today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 148. Tell everyone to hold your wood for you and clarify you weren't talking about wood beams. 149. Bury professional maids outside the main building and tell everyone you're planting maids to go with the cockle shells and silver bells. 150. Blast your favorite cartoon theme song every time someone comes near you. 151. Be transported to a far away land to a world where monsters rule after playing the game like an ace and getting lost in the place to save the monsters from the evil Moo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 152. Grab your boss, coworkers, customers, etc. by their crotch and talk about it loudly through a megaphone. 153. Grab others by their hands to make them grab you by the crotch and brag about how big and strong your hands are and how good your crotch feels. 154. Scream fake news when you get fired. 155. Impeach your boss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 156. Pretend to be drunk and sing the pink elephant song from Dumbo. 157. Host a sledding tournament on the tile floors after they've just been cleaned. 158. Use whatever you can grab as a tissue as you come in sick. 159. Staple your important documents to every wall you can and tell everyone it's so you can make sure not to lose them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 160. Growl, bark, and bite at your boss if they treat you like a dog. 161. Put your poop in the company fridge. 162. Challenge the ass kissing coworker to a literal ass kissing contest to see who can kiss the boss's butt hole the longest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benice Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 163. Do things people say"Don't try this at home" at work. 164. get caught looking at this thread 165. leaving your laptop open with "How to murder your boss-Wikihow" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 166. Disassemble your work PC and tell everyone who sees you doing so that you need the extra parts to increase your performance and then sell said parts at a second hand store for free money. 167. Be a complete germaphobe and say that you need to wash your hands every time you touch anything. 168. Build your workspace out of legos and tell everyone it's a more efficient workspace than what was already in place. 169. Laugh and point every time you see the number 69 no matter if it's during an important meeting or just among fellow employees. 170. Open a parlor for temporary tattoos and body painting on the work floor and say you're doing it to raise work enthusiasm. 171. Show up to work completely covered in tin foil and act like the most paranoid and freaked out version of yourself while spouting every conspiracy theory you can think of. 172. If the world map is shown anywhere, tell everyone in your loudest voice possible that you've been telling everyone that the world was flat for decades and people have just begun to accept the facts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benice Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 173. Bring sugar gliders to work 174. Listen to loud classical music and call everyone who tells you to turn it off an uncultured swine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 175. Come in to work and say you dont know what you're supposed to be doing because you have amnesia. 176. Get one of the public bathrooms flooded and call the Fire Department for assistance. 177. Place blank sticky notes all over the walls everywhere you go and keep everyone from taking them down and telling them that you're going to write on them later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottservia Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 177. Pretend that you’re in a reverse isekai and act like you just got transported into this new world. Go around asking people about the demon king’s whereabouts, be confused by normal social gestures customs, and modern technology. Try to use magic and be completely shocked it doesn’t work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 178. Pretend you are a cat and do all the things they do that would be obnoxious for humans to do, such as scratching everyone, lick your butt hole in public, bite people, laze around at work, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 179. Type out a report using the suggested words on your cellphone even if it doesn't make any sense whatsoever. 180. When your boss asks for a bug report, place a box full of random bugs of whatever kind on their desk. 181. Speak to everyone in complete jibberish as part of a new language you created and make everyone try to decipher what you are saying. 182. Go to the coffee creamers and slice all of them in half and tell everyone that you were running low on half and half so you had to make some more. 183. Wear a trash bag over yourself everywhere in the building and say that you're afraid of the flood that's scheduled. 184. Place "girl posters" over the artwork in the building and say you're doing it to liven up the place. 185. Bring a pick and shovel to work and dig in a single spot the whole day and say that you're looking for buried money. 186. Come in dressed as a fireman and tell everyone that it gives you full rights to use the extinguishers in the building whenever you deem necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benice Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 5 hours ago, Emperor_Siegfried said: 184. Place "girl posters" over the artwork in the building and say you're doing it to liven up the place. I don't know what that is, and I don't think I want to know. 187. Make tiktoks 188. Host karaoke competitions without asking permission 189. Discuss anime theories loudly. 190. Spoil TV shows 191. Reference long-dead memes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 1 hour ago, Benice said: I don't know what that is, and I don't think I want to know. Stuff from porno magazines I assume. 192. Come to work naked and tell your boss "You said you wanted to see my ass in here by 9!" 193. When on the phone with a customer, put the phone to your butt and fart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benice Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 2 hours ago, Dragoncat said: 192. Come to work naked and tell your boss "You said you wanted to see my ass in here by 9!" That's gonna be my yearbook quote now. (They can't expell me since I'm leaving anyways!) 194. When a customer tellsyou that their phone broke, say "guess how much I care." 195. Try pickup lines with your boss. 196. Make a meme making fun of your boss and send it to all of your coworkers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 28, 2020 Share Posted January 28, 2020 197. Whenever er someone tells you to be on your best behavior, curse and swear so much that you would make a sailor blush. 198. After cursing up a storm and someone asks, "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" tell that person, "No, but I do kiss yours." 199. Come up with ways that you can irritate the entire workplace and list them on one of the public whiteboards. 200. Only do the previous 100 things listed in a single day and save the previous 100 for Day 2. 201. Throw Doritos everywhere and spill Mountain Dew all over the floors. 202. Use Mountain Dew in the coffee brewing machine in an effort to get double the energy. 203. Show up to work dressed in Dorito bags saying that you are a proud sponsor of Doritos. 204. Suggest to anyone that they should replace their Mountain Dew and Dorito diet with unsalted corn chips and water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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