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Corrupt a wish: FE edition


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Granted, but they all are along the lines of that one Camilla 3DS wallpaper and they won’t show themselves unless you’re on your laptop in public.

I wish the Fire Emblem didn’t feel forced into some Fire Emblem games.

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Granted, but Americans riot in the street after they have to Google stuff like “what does colour mean”.

I wish I didn’t want the same food two days in a row.

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Granted, but units do need to be taken care of, so you have to mitigate your total gold for wages per chapter, and if any of your units aren’t happy with their pay they will form a labor union and go on strike, along with their close units. This stops you from using them until you get more gold, and if you wait long enough, they will return as enemies a couple chapters later promoted with 15 more levels of stats. And of course, this is only what happens if you don’t pay them enough, not to mention their food, water, housing, etc.

I wish Ignatius didn’t annoy me.

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Granted. They instead recycle FE4's desert map idea, and put pitfalls in that one as well! There are twice as many pitfalls as units, so you can be completely softlocked by it!

I wish for the next FE to be like RD but without part 3.

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Granted, but now everyone actually likes it!

I wish I could mod FE11 so that there were no ambushes and everyone had a large buff to luck.

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Granted, but every enemy is now invisible and you just have to randomly have your units waste weapon uses on tiles hoping an enemy is secretly there and takes damage.

I wish Three Houses showed a lot more story wise than it told, if that makes sense.

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It tells so much more that it has cutscenes so long they make Metal Gear Solid 4's amount of cutscenes look like they took the minimalist approach from Breath of the Wild.  Also it doesn't even have the decency of allowing you to save during the cutscenes ala Xenosaga and if you set your Switch in sleep mode the cutscenes still progress.

I wish the protagonists of all prior games would declare war on the concept of normalcy.

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Granted, you get the money by killing Hoshidan citizens so after Endgame Error!Ryoma appears saying "SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS" and turns your entire army into string puppets, making for the worst bad ending in all of Fire Emblem.

I wish Edelgard wasn't an asshole.

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Without an asshole to expel the bodily waste of its nation, Adrestria implodes in on itself and ends up spewing everything it once was all over Fodlan with its bodily bacteria everywhere forcing the people of the world to either adapt or die.

I wish killing Flayn and Seteth rewarded the player with new sacred weapons.

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Why?

Granted, but if you take less than 100 turns on a map, the final boss spawns in the next map with stats +50 and is automatically aggro-ed.

I wish Game Freak wasn’t lazy when it came to Pokémon graphics.

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They end up paying so much attention to detail with the graphics that by the time their development of Pokemon Red/Green/Blue is complete, they are only NOW about to release it on the Switch in 8K but it's still in the original Gameboy visuals.  On top of that it cuts 4 of the gyms, 2 of the Elite 4, and has no connectivity features the version in this universe has.  Then it sinks over into Fire Emblem and results in the franchise taking steps backwards in visuals due to the game's success and as an excuse to cuts corners.

I wish the next game took place in a land called "Allabamma".

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Granted, but in order to start it you have to pick the new “stab Rhea” option that appears instead of “Hi my name is...” or “...” which sees you attempting to murder instantly and desperately trying to find a place to hide, so Tomas takes you in. You end up operating out of his secret base that is also underneath Garrett Mach, just like everything else they needed for this story to work but didn’t make sense in universe. The route culminated with the Black Eagles betraying you and you all die.

I wish that Awakening’s mid game wasn’t route in open fields with ambush spawns in forts: the game.

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