Why Arc Should Stop

[Knife]

I kept my silence when Mr. Arc III announced he wanted to deny citizens the ability to become informed about the destruction that he is capable of. I did nothing when he tried to boss others around. But his latest inclinations are the straw that breaks the camel's back. The following text regards my complaints of recent days against him and his subtle but nefarious attempts to put the prisoners in charge of running the prison.

Although Arc is trying to portray himself as a great philosopher on par with Wittgenstein or some such personage, what he is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly picayunish activity. Stripping from the term "premisrepresentation" the negative connotations it evokes, I will try to drag him in front of a tribunal and try him for his crimes against humanity. We must shatter the adage that skin color means more than skill and gender is more impressive than genius. This is a terrible and awesome responsibility -- a crushing responsibility. However, if we stick together we can can show the world that Arc is completely unmovable by truth or reason. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, the biggest difference between me and Arc is that Arc wants to bad-mouth worthy causes. I, on the other hand, want to draw a picture of what we conceive of under the word "unconstitutionality".

When a political condition of greed, massive corruption, and diversity of objective is coupled to a social condition of drugs, violence, and discontent, therein exists the perfect environment for Arc to increase people's stress and aggression. Look at what's happened since he first ordered his admirers to issue a flood of bogus legal documents: Views once considered obscene are now considered ordinary. Views once considered dim-witted are now considered perfectly normal. And the most out-of-touch of Arc's views are now seen as gospel by legions of rude, lackluster vulgarians. He has no sense of personal boundaries. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Arc in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that Arc says that everyone would be a lot safer if he were to monitor all of our personal communications and financial transactions -- even our library records. Why on Earth does Arc need to monitor our library records? This is not a question that we should run away from. Rather, it is something that needs to be addressed quickly and directly because Arc will probably respond to this letter just like he responds to all criticism. He will put me down as "misinformed" or "loquacious". That's his standard answer to everyone who says or writes anything about him except the most fawning praise.

When a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that Arc stubbornly refuses to own up to his mistakes serves only to convince me that his machinations can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that I fully intend to enlighten the mind of Man and improve him as a rational, moral, and social being. I will spare no labor in doing this and reckon no labor lost that brings me toward this mark. Even so, society must soon decide either to direct your attention in some detail to the vast and irreparable calamity brought upon us by Arc or else to let Arc turn me, a typically mild-mannered person, into an eccentric vat of negativism. The decision is one of life or death, peaceful existence or perpetual social fever. I can hope only that those in charge realize that Arc's idiotic claim that he is a martyr for freedom and a victim of sesquipedalianism is just that, an idiotic claim.

Arc and his helots are unregenerate clodpolls. This is not set down in complaint against them, but merely as analysis. As that last sentence suggests, when you tell Arc's pals that Arc's assertion that all major world powers are controlled by a covert group of "insiders" serves only to illustrate his ignorance and poorly hidden bigotry, they begin to get fidgety and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that many people think of his ostentatious tracts as a joke, as something only half-serious. In fact, they're deadly serious. They're the tool by which slatternly, brazen simpletons will pander to cankered toughies sooner than you think. A second all-too-serious item is that there are two related questions in this matter. The first is to what extent Arc has tried to create a grumpy, irrational world of guilt and shame. The other is whether or not no one likes being attacked by diabolic unscrupulous-types. Even worse, Arc exploits our fear of those attacks -- which he claims will evolve sometime soon into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks -- as a pretext to turn the trickle of lexiphanicism into a tidal wave. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that some people think it's a bit extreme of me to look into the future and consider what will happen if we let Arc throw us into a "heads I win, tails you lose" situation -- a bit over the top, perhaps. Well, what I ought to remind such people is that we must replace today's chaos and lack of vision with order and a supreme sense of purpose. Our children depend on that.

Arc used to complain about being persecuted. Now he is our primary persecutor. This reversal of roles reminds me that Arc's politics are built on lies and they depend on make-believe for their continuation. I can guarantee the readers of this letter that he keeps insisting that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented slurs. To me, there is something fundamentally wrong with that story. Maybe it's that Arc's reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other words, he always begins an argument with his conclusion (e.g., that he has mystical powers of divination and prophecy) and therefore -- not surprisingly -- he always arrives at that very conclusion.

I clearly allege that we should point out the glaring contradiction between Arc's idealized view of alarmism and reality, and I have formalized my commitment to this high ideal by ensuring that I always get Arc off our backs. You've heard me say that his companions are all polyloquent flimflammers. True, that's a cheap shot but too often they do think and behave in ways that reinforce that image. His viewpoints are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And, as if that weren't enough, I cannot promise not to be angry at Arc. I do promise, however, to try to keep my anger under control, to keep it from leading me -- as it leads Arc -- to stigmatize any and all attempts to build a better world, a cleaner world, a safer world, and a saner world.

Even when Arc bespeaks us fair to our faces he expresses quite different thoughts behind our backs. There's nothing controversial about that view. It's a fact, pure and simple. It was a fact long before anyone realized that we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with Arc. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that Arc has long served as a cheerleader for mandarinism. But you knew that already. So let me add that Arc is still going around insisting that the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that he keeps stating over and over again that courtesy and manners don't count for anything. This drumbeat refrain is clearly not consistent with the facts on the ground -- facts such as that I don't need to tell you that Arc tends to forget what matters most. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that some people don't seem to mind that Arc likes to impose a particular curriculum, vision of history, and method of pedagogy on our school systems. What a thrasonical world we live in!

Let's just ignore Arc and see what he does. His ebullitions deserve to be criticized because they traffic in our blood, birthright, and security. What's the best way to shatter the illusion that unambitious, impolitic survivalists are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive? That's actually a tough nut to crack. The answer is related the way that Arc's distasteful, putrid invectives substitute pap for art. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to deal with him appropriately.

I understand that at no point in Arc's response to my last volley of criticisms was he even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought, but Arc is a man utterly without honor, without principles, without a shred of genuine patriotism. That's why I say that I, not being one of the many invidious curmudgeons of this world, act based on what I think is right, not who I think is right. That's why I try always to examine his worldview from the perspective of its axiology (values) and epistemology (ways of knowing). It's also why I say that it would help if Arc realized that education and wisdom aren't necessarily the same thing. Let me express that same thought in slightly different terms: I have a tendency to report the more sensational things that Arc is up to, the more shocking things, things like how he wants to impede the free flow of information. And I realize the difficulty that the average person has in coming to grips with that, but it's his deep-seated belief that society is supposed to be lenient towards ill-natured miscreants. Sure, he might be able to justify conclusions like that -- using biased or one-sided information, of course -- but I prefer to know the whole story. In this case, the whole story is that the only way that Arc could convince me that the only way to expand one's mind is with drugs -- or maybe even chocolate -- would be to feed me stupid-flakes for breakfast. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to deal stiffly with phlegmatic schizophrenics who encourage young people to break all the rules, cut themselves loose from their roots, and adopt a disorganized lifestyle, I must explain to the population at large that some day, in the far, far future, he will realize that I need to spend some time considering how best to make some changes here. This realization will sink in slowly but surely and will be accompanied by a comprehension of how Arc uses the very intellectual tools he criticizes, namely consequentialist arguments rather than arguments about truth or falsity. The end.

Edited November 18, 2008 by Knife

[Oguma]

wut?

EDIT: Sorry, the first thing I got was: "Enter Keywords; Search topic"

Edited November 18, 2008 by Harvey Berin

[Knife]

Dammit, I messed up.

[Liz]

so what does this have to do with me?

*is crying*

[Mufasa]

Dammit, I messed up.

Dude....I didn't catch that. Care to explain it in less wordy words?

[Knife]

Dude....I didn't catch that. Care to explain it in less wordy words?

In this letter I would like to respond directly to King Lyle Dayek's semi-intelligible allegations. However, considering his inability to cope with the truth I feel that doing so would be a great disservice to Lyle at this time. So, instead, I'll devote the rest of this letter to explaining as politely as possible how at least 80 percent of the people in this country recognize that his slaphappy blanket statements induce paralysis of the cerebrum. As a preliminary, I want to point out the glaring contradiction between his idealized view of Dadaism and reality. Although he occasionally exhibits a passable simulacrum of rationality, some day, in the far, far future, Lyle will realize that by opting for the easy, short-term, feel-good path, he will conjure up dirt against his fellow human beings sometime soon. This realization will sink in slowly but surely and will be accompanied by a comprehension of how I don't know what makes Lyle think that he is a paragon of morality and wisdom. Maybe he's been sipping cuckoo juice. The fact of the matter is that I would be grateful if Lyle would take a little time from his rigorous schedule to pronounce the truth and renounce the lies. Of course, pigs will grow wings and fly before that ever happens.

To say that people prefer "cultural integrity" and "multicultural sensitivity" to health, food, safety, and the opportunity to choose their own course through life is atrabilious nonsense and untrue to boot. My goal is to get Lyle to realize that he eschews his commitments to responsibility and truth in favor of a breathless and drooling enthusiasm for interdenominationalism. Of course, if he insists on remaining an ignorant, uninformed, and ill-informed pest, that's his prerogative. However much he may deny it, the point is that if everyone spent just five minutes a day thinking about ways to keep his apologists at bay, we'd all be a lot better off. Is five minutes a day too much to ask for the promise of a better tomorrow? I sure hope not, but then again, Lyle parrots whatever ideas are fashionable at the moment. When the fashions change, his ideas will change instantly like a weathercock.

This is something that Lyle ignores in his eagerness to present a false image to the world by hiding unpleasant but vitally important realities about his insinuations. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now, I'll simply summarize by stating that Lyle sees himself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who expand people's understanding of his temperamental protests). His attitudes are nothing short of ungrateful. That sounds really bloody-minded, but I surely profess that it's an accurate assessment of the situation. Even Lyle must concede that one could make a strong argument that I think this is tragic. This is equivalent to saying that he contends that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape and that, therefore, the Universe belongs to him by right. This bizarre pattern of thinking leads to strange conclusions. For example, it convinces infantile, worthless weirdos (as distinct from the postmodernist, scurrilous Huns who prefer to chirrup while hopping from cloud to cloud in Nephelococcygia) that "metanarratives" are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity. In reality, contrariwise, we must stop tiptoeing and begin marching boldly and forthrightly towards our goal, which is to establish democracy and equality.

Lyle wants nothing less than to twist my words six ways for Sunday. His expositors then wonder, "What's wrong with that?" Well, there's not much to be done with self-centered mendicants who can't figure out what's wrong with that, but the rest of us can plainly see that this is not the first time I've wanted to scrap the entire constellation of bad-tempered ideas that brought us to our present point. But it is the first time I realized that it is not my goal to revive an arcadian past that never existed, but the opposite. I won't dwell on that except to direct your attention to the peevish manner in which Lyle has been trying to promote racial superiority doctrines, ethnic persecution, imperialist expansion, and genocide.

Lyle maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of information about everyone he distrusts, to use as a potential weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? I hardly know. But I will stake the immortality of my soul that Lyle's reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other words, he always begins an argument with his conclusion (e.g., that he is a bearer and agent of the Creator's purpose) and therefore -- not surprisingly -- he always arrives at that very conclusion. Until we address this issue, we will never move beyond it.

[Mufasa]

In this letter I would like to respond directly to King Lyle Dayek's semi-intelligible allegations. However, considering his inability to cope with the truth I feel that doing so would be a great disservice to Lyle at this time. So, instead, I'll devote the rest of this letter to explaining as politely as possible how at least 80 percent of the people in this country recognize that his slaphappy blanket statements induce paralysis of the cerebrum. As a preliminary, I want to point out the glaring contradiction between his idealized view of Dadaism and reality. Although he occasionally exhibits a passable simulacrum of rationality, some day, in the far, far future, Lyle will realize that by opting for the easy, short-term, feel-good path, he will conjure up dirt against his fellow human beings sometime soon. This realization will sink in slowly but surely and will be accompanied by a comprehension of how I don't know what makes Lyle think that he is a paragon of morality and wisdom. Maybe he's been sipping cuckoo juice. The fact of the matter is that I would be grateful if Lyle would take a little time from his rigorous schedule to pronounce the truth and renounce the lies. Of course, pigs will grow wings and fly before that ever happens.

To say that people prefer "cultural integrity" and "multicultural sensitivity" to health, food, safety, and the opportunity to choose their own course through life is atrabilious nonsense and untrue to boot. My goal is to get Lyle to realize that he eschews his commitments to responsibility and truth in favor of a breathless and drooling enthusiasm for interdenominationalism. Of course, if he insists on remaining an ignorant, uninformed, and ill-informed pest, that's his prerogative. However much he may deny it, the point is that if everyone spent just five minutes a day thinking about ways to keep his apologists at bay, we'd all be a lot better off. Is five minutes a day too much to ask for the promise of a better tomorrow? I sure hope not, but then again, Lyle parrots whatever ideas are fashionable at the moment. When the fashions change, his ideas will change instantly like a weathercock.

This is something that Lyle ignores in his eagerness to present a false image to the world by hiding unpleasant but vitally important realities about his insinuations. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now, I'll simply summarize by stating that Lyle sees himself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who expand people's understanding of his temperamental protests). His attitudes are nothing short of ungrateful. That sounds really bloody-minded, but I surely profess that it's an accurate assessment of the situation. Even Lyle must concede that one could make a strong argument that I think this is tragic. This is equivalent to saying that he contends that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape and that, therefore, the Universe belongs to him by right. This bizarre pattern of thinking leads to strange conclusions. For example, it convinces infantile, worthless weirdos (as distinct from the postmodernist, scurrilous Huns who prefer to chirrup while hopping from cloud to cloud in Nephelococcygia) that "metanarratives" are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity. In reality, contrariwise, we must stop tiptoeing and begin marching boldly and forthrightly towards our goal, which is to establish democracy and equality.

Lyle wants nothing less than to twist my words six ways for Sunday. His expositors then wonder, "What's wrong with that?" Well, there's not much to be done with self-centered mendicants who can't figure out what's wrong with that, but the rest of us can plainly see that this is not the first time I've wanted to scrap the entire constellation of bad-tempered ideas that brought us to our present point. But it is the first time I realized that it is not my goal to revive an arcadian past that never existed, but the opposite. I won't dwell on that except to direct your attention to the peevish manner in which Lyle has been trying to promote racial superiority doctrines, ethnic persecution, imperialist expansion, and genocide.

Lyle maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of information about everyone he distrusts, to use as a potential weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? I hardly know. But I will stake the immortality of my soul that Lyle's reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other words, he always begins an argument with his conclusion (e.g., that he is a bearer and agent of the Creator's purpose) and therefore -- not surprisingly -- he always arrives at that very conclusion. Until we address this issue, we will never move beyond it.

...Kay...

[Masu]

this is AWESOME

[Wist]

This is a letter of love and peace; I will not lash out against anyone, and I will not use specific names of individuals or organizations that create a kind of psychic pain at the very root of the modern mind. That said, let me merely point out that Knife's conjectures are snarky, poisonous to young minds, and disrespectful to Western values and achievements. I urge you to read the text that follows carefully, keeping an open mind, from the beginning to the end, and without skipping around. I further recommend that you take breaks, as many of the facts presented will take time to digest. Knife maintains that the Eleventh Commandment is, "Thou shalt abridge our basic civil liberties". Even if this were so, he would still be mudslinging. But he's a pretty good liar most of the time. However, Knife tells so many lies, he's bound to trip himself up someday.

I'm merely suggesting that I have never read anything Knife has written that I would consider wise, logical, pertinent, reasonable, or scientific. His statement that diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors is no exception. What's more, there is one crucial fact that we must not overlook if we are to perceive our current situation as it is, rather than in the anamorphosis of some "ideology" such as exhibitionism or paternalism. Specifically, Knife should learn to appreciate what he has instead of feeling so oppressed because he can't do everything he wants, every time he wants to.

The most sobering aspect of Knife's conclusions is that I intend to look closely at Knife's opuscula to see what makes them so effectual at forcing me to jump in the lake. I should expect to find -- this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify -- that one of Knife's emissaries keeps throwing "scientific" studies at me, claiming they prove that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. The studies are full of "if"s, "possible"s, "maybe"s, and various exceptions and admissions of their limitations. This leaves the studies inconclusive at best and works of fiction at worst. The only thing these studies can possibly prove is that Knife maintains that he could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. That's not just a lie but is actually the exact opposite of the truth -- and Knife knows it. Why is Knife deliberately turning the truth on its head like that? Any honest person who takes the time to think about that question will be forced to conclude that if Knife would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to take action.

I don't know which are worse, right-wing tyrants or left-wing tyrants. But I do know that Knife likes thinking thoughts that aren't burdensome and that feel good. That's why I will stop at nothing to protect the interests of the general public against the greed and unreason of what I call revolting, manipulative tossers. My resolve cannot fully be articulated but it is unyielding. As evidence, consider that my position is that Knife is nuttier than squirrel dung. He, in contrast, argues that every word that leaves his mouth is teeming with useful information. This disagreement merely scratches the surface of the ideological chasm festering between me and Knife. The only rational way to bridge this chasm is for him to admit that he uses highfalutin terms like "anthrohopobiological" and "psychotherapeutical" to conceal his plans to instill a subconscious feeling of guilt in those of us who disagree with his vituperations. In this scheme of his, a mass of grandiloquent words falls upon the facts like soft snow, blurring the outlines and covering up all the details. We become unable to see that there is a vast empirical literature on this subject. To cap that off, I do not have the time, in one sitting, to go into the long answer as to why Knife's fork-tongued catch-phrases disgust me. But the short answer is that if you've read this far then you probably either agree with me or are on the way to agreeing with me.

The tone of Knife's plaints is eerily reminiscent of that of villainous sewer rats of the late 1940s in the sense that Knife justifies his reprehensible whinges with fallacious logical arguments based on argumentum ad baculum. In case you're unfamiliar with the term, it means that if we don't accept Knife's claim that society is supposed to be lenient towards the worst kinds of wrongheaded doofuses there are then he will win support by encapsulating frustrations and directing them toward unpopular scapegoats. At the risk of repeating myself, I must reiterate that his little schemes are bound to fail. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Knife in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that if Knife can't cite the basis for his claim that war is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength then he should just shut up about it.

Unless we tackle the multinational death machine that Knife is currently constructing, our whole social structure will gradually disintegrate and crumble into ruins. That doesn't necessarily mean that his degeneracy has permeated the whole stratum of society, although it might. Rather, it means that he has hatched all sorts of longiloquent plans. Remember Knife's attempt to enact new laws forcing anyone who's not one of his co-conspirators to live in an environment that can, at best, be described as contemptuously tolerant? No? That's because Knife's so good at concealing his blasphemous activities.

Knife offers two reasons as to why no one is smart enough to see through his transparent lies. He argues that (1) going through the motions of working is the same as working, and (2) we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is. These arguments are invalid for the following reasons: First, a great many of us don't want him to capitalize on our needs and vulnerabilities. But we feel a prodigious societal pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to his wayward communications.

Never before have I encountered more bloatedly self-important prose than that which Knife produces. His shills say that nothing would help society more than for them to require religious services around the world to begin with "Knife is great; Knife is good; we thank Knife for our daily food". Sorry, I don't buy that. In keeping with all of their inner churlish brutality, his janissaries take away our sense of community and leave us morally adrift.

Considering that Knife's fixation with egocentric boors is childish, I offer that if everyone does his own, small part, together we can introduce an important but underrepresented angle on Knife's misinformed plans for the future. Since Knife claims to know more than the rest of us, I'm sure he's aware that he maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of information about everyone he distrusts, to use as a potential career-ruining weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? Well, I asked the question so I should answer it. Let me start by saying that if we foreground the cognitive and emotional palette of his ignorant ideas rather than their pathology we can enter vitally into Knife's world. Why do we want to do that? Because "Knife" has become a byword for treachery and deceit. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, I can guarantee the readers of this letter that Knife's premise (that the only way to expand one's mind is with drugs -- or maybe even chocolate) is his morality disguised as pretended neutrality. Knife uses this disguised morality to support his sound bites, thereby making his argument self-refuting.

When you get right down to it, I find that I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that some people just don't realize that Knife truly believes that his diabolic claque is a respected civil-rights organization. It is just such subhuman megalomania, supercilious egoism, and intellectual aberrancy that stirs Knife to call for ritualistic invocations of needlessly formal rules. I have never been in favor of being gratuitously corrupt. I have also never been in favor of sticking my head in the sand or of refusing to protect our peace, privacy, and safety. As anyone living above the Earth's surface knows by now, you, of course, now need some hard evidence that it would be impossible, even between the covers of a thousand volumes, to list and describe all of the deluded things that Knife has done. Well, how about this for evidence: The deconstructionism "debate" is not a debate. It is a harangue, a politically motivated, brilliantly publicized, morally repugnant attack on progressive ideas. Okay, I've written enough for one letter, so let me just finish by saying that since their emergence on the stage of history, sniffish, chauvinistic converts to materialism have been a parasitic growth on the stem of true citizens.

[Knife]

this is AWESOME

As you will soon discover, this letter does not fixate on a single topic or subject. To be perfectly frank and honest, it started out rather focused but I soon found, as I worked on my primary hypothesis and sought corroboration from other sources, that I have quite a number of different things to say about Sir MaSu. Wait! Before you dismiss me as dirty, hear me out.

While you or I might find it natural to want to shatter the illusion that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have, he and I are as different as chalk and cheese. MaSu, for instance, wants to teach jaded concepts to children. I, on the other hand, want to disabuse MaSu of the notion that mediocrity is a worthwhile goal. That's why I need to tell you that it takes more than a mass of ophidian, brutal crumbums to search for solutions that are more creative and constructive than the typically pathological ones championed by meddlesome, intrusive gadflies. It takes a great many thoughtful and semi-thoughtful people who are willing to tell you a little bit about MaSu and his larcenous rantings. Now that I've told you what I think, let me end this letter by stating that I fully intend to build bridges where in the past all that existed were moats and drawbridges. Let Sir MaSu tremble. And though the heavens fall, let there be justice.

[Knife]

This is a letter of love and peace; I will not lash out against anyone, and I will not use specific names of individuals or organizations that create a kind of psychic pain at the very root of the modern mind. That said, let me merely point out that Knife's conjectures are snarky, poisonous to young minds, and disrespectful to Western values and achievements. I urge you to read the text that follows carefully, keeping an open mind, from the beginning to the end, and without skipping around. I further recommend that you take breaks, as many of the facts presented will take time to digest. Knife maintains that the Eleventh Commandment is, "Thou shalt abridge our basic civil liberties". Even if this were so, he would still be mudslinging. But he's a pretty good liar most of the time. However, Knife tells so many lies, he's bound to trip himself up someday.

I'm merely suggesting that I have never read anything Knife has written that I would consider wise, logical, pertinent, reasonable, or scientific. His statement that diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors is no exception. What's more, there is one crucial fact that we must not overlook if we are to perceive our current situation as it is, rather than in the anamorphosis of some "ideology" such as exhibitionism or paternalism. Specifically, Knife should learn to appreciate what he has instead of feeling so oppressed because he can't do everything he wants, every time he wants to.

The most sobering aspect of Knife's conclusions is that I intend to look closely at Knife's opuscula to see what makes them so effectual at forcing me to jump in the lake. I should expect to find -- this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify -- that one of Knife's emissaries keeps throwing "scientific" studies at me, claiming they prove that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. The studies are full of "if"s, "possible"s, "maybe"s, and various exceptions and admissions of their limitations. This leaves the studies inconclusive at best and works of fiction at worst. The only thing these studies can possibly prove is that Knife maintains that he could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. That's not just a lie but is actually the exact opposite of the truth -- and Knife knows it. Why is Knife deliberately turning the truth on its head like that? Any honest person who takes the time to think about that question will be forced to conclude that if Knife would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to take action.

I don't know which are worse, right-wing tyrants or left-wing tyrants. But I do know that Knife likes thinking thoughts that aren't burdensome and that feel good. That's why I will stop at nothing to protect the interests of the general public against the greed and unreason of what I call revolting, manipulative tossers. My resolve cannot fully be articulated but it is unyielding. As evidence, consider that my position is that Knife is nuttier than squirrel dung. He, in contrast, argues that every word that leaves his mouth is teeming with useful information. This disagreement merely scratches the surface of the ideological chasm festering between me and Knife. The only rational way to bridge this chasm is for him to admit that he uses highfalutin terms like "anthrohopobiological" and "psychotherapeutical" to conceal his plans to instill a subconscious feeling of guilt in those of us who disagree with his vituperations. In this scheme of his, a mass of grandiloquent words falls upon the facts like soft snow, blurring the outlines and covering up all the details. We become unable to see that there is a vast empirical literature on this subject. To cap that off, I do not have the time, in one sitting, to go into the long answer as to why Knife's fork-tongued catch-phrases disgust me. But the short answer is that if you've read this far then you probably either agree with me or are on the way to agreeing with me.

The tone of Knife's plaints is eerily reminiscent of that of villainous sewer rats of the late 1940s in the sense that Knife justifies his reprehensible whinges with fallacious logical arguments based on argumentum ad baculum. In case you're unfamiliar with the term, it means that if we don't accept Knife's claim that society is supposed to be lenient towards the worst kinds of wrongheaded doofuses there are then he will win support by encapsulating frustrations and directing them toward unpopular scapegoats. At the risk of repeating myself, I must reiterate that his little schemes are bound to fail. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Knife in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that if Knife can't cite the basis for his claim that war is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength then he should just shut up about it.

Unless we tackle the multinational death machine that Knife is currently constructing, our whole social structure will gradually disintegrate and crumble into ruins. That doesn't necessarily mean that his degeneracy has permeated the whole stratum of society, although it might. Rather, it means that he has hatched all sorts of longiloquent plans. Remember Knife's attempt to enact new laws forcing anyone who's not one of his co-conspirators to live in an environment that can, at best, be described as contemptuously tolerant? No? That's because Knife's so good at concealing his blasphemous activities.

Knife offers two reasons as to why no one is smart enough to see through his transparent lies. He argues that (1) going through the motions of working is the same as working, and (2) we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is. These arguments are invalid for the following reasons: First, a great many of us don't want him to capitalize on our needs and vulnerabilities. But we feel a prodigious societal pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to his wayward communications.

Never before have I encountered more bloatedly self-important prose than that which Knife produces. His shills say that nothing would help society more than for them to require religious services around the world to begin with "Knife is great; Knife is good; we thank Knife for our daily food". Sorry, I don't buy that. In keeping with all of their inner churlish brutality, his janissaries take away our sense of community and leave us morally adrift.

Considering that Knife's fixation with egocentric boors is childish, I offer that if everyone does his own, small part, together we can introduce an important but underrepresented angle on Knife's misinformed plans for the future. Since Knife claims to know more than the rest of us, I'm sure he's aware that he maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of information about everyone he distrusts, to use as a potential career-ruining weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? Well, I asked the question so I should answer it. Let me start by saying that if we foreground the cognitive and emotional palette of his ignorant ideas rather than their pathology we can enter vitally into Knife's world. Why do we want to do that? Because "Knife" has become a byword for treachery and deceit. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, I can guarantee the readers of this letter that Knife's premise (that the only way to expand one's mind is with drugs -- or maybe even chocolate) is his morality disguised as pretended neutrality. Knife uses this disguised morality to support his sound bites, thereby making his argument self-refuting.

When you get right down to it, I find that I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that some people just don't realize that Knife truly believes that his diabolic claque is a respected civil-rights organization. It is just such subhuman megalomania, supercilious egoism, and intellectual aberrancy that stirs Knife to call for ritualistic invocations of needlessly formal rules. I have never been in favor of being gratuitously corrupt. I have also never been in favor of sticking my head in the sand or of refusing to protect our peace, privacy, and safety. As anyone living above the Earth's surface knows by now, you, of course, now need some hard evidence that it would be impossible, even between the covers of a thousand volumes, to list and describe all of the deluded things that Knife has done. Well, how about this for evidence: The deconstructionism "debate" is not a debate. It is a harangue, a politically motivated, brilliantly publicized, morally repugnant attack on progressive ideas. Okay, I've written enough for one letter, so let me just finish by saying that since their emergence on the stage of history, sniffish, chauvinistic converts to materialism have been a parasitic growth on the stem of true citizens.

I am writing this letter to persuade you that the fallout from Sr. Wist's demonic reinterpretations of historic events has been an increasingly predatory environment of calculation, scheming, and pandering that will, by virtue of its omnipresence, declare that Wist is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people. I will persuade you of this by providing a few examples and illustrations of the way in which Wist seeks to dominate or intimidate others. When writing this letter, I had originally intended to segregate the pure errors of fact in his comments from the assertions of questionable judgment where there could be room for dispute. I eventually decided against that approach because Wist recently went through a denominationalism phase in which he tried repeatedly to mold the mind of virtually every citizen -- young or old, rich or poor, simple or sophisticated. In fact, I'm not convinced that this phase of his has entirely passed. My evidence is that Wist never stops boasting about his generous contributions to charitable causes. As far as I can tell, however, his claimed magnanimousness is thoroughly chimerical, and, furthermore, Wist ought to realize that the most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do. Unfortunately, he tends to utter so much verbiage about wowserism that I can conclude only that honor means nothing to Wist. Principles mean nothing to Wist. All he cares about is how to advocate juvenile memoirs.

Judging by the generally heinous nature of Wist's loyalists, I can see that Wist sometimes has trouble convincing people that individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin. When he has such trouble, he usually trots out a few chthonic, patronizing smut peddlers to constate authoritatively that people prefer "cultural integrity" and "multicultural sensitivity" to health, food, safety, and the opportunity to choose their own course through life. Whether or not that trick of his works, it's still the case that we can no longer afford to do nothing about Wist's malodorous homilies. Instead, we must strike while the iron is hot and demand a thoughtful analysis and resolution of our problems with Wist. His wisecracks are like a Hydra. They continually acquire new heads and new strength. The only way to stunt their growth is to lend support to the thesis that I leave open the question of the extent to which this discussion could be applied to complacent, disorderly sods. The only way to destroy Wist's Hydra entirely is to provide more people with the knowledge that someone once said to me, "Wist is so intolerantly devoted to his own prejudices that his perception of reality is utterly warped." This phrase struck me so forcefully that I have often used it since.

We should stop playing by Wist's rules of engagement and instead force Wist to play by ours. While this lighthearted statement adds sorely needed humor to an otherwise tense situation, there is a format Wist should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts. You might object to my claim that when all discoverable facts and experience fly in the face of his antisocial world view, he stubbornly holds onto his ignorance as his birthright. But bear in mind that I want to make this clear so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony -- and you know who I'm referring to -- can process my point. Wist has an agenda -- a political, social, and cultural agenda. Well, that's another story. To get back to my main point, I ought to mention that I'll tell you what we need to do about all the craziness Wist is mongering. We need to bring a fresh perspective and new ideas to the current debate.

Wist has stated that at birth every living being is assigned a celestial serial number or frequency power spectrum. One clear inference from that statement -- an inference that is never really disavowed -- is that he does the things he does "for the children". Now that's just debauched.

Contrary to what Wist would have you believe, I want to push the envelope on our knowledge of the world around us. But first, let me pose an abstract question. What in perdition does he think he's doing? That's the question that perplexes me the most because he will stop at nothing to get his way. Disguised in this drollery is an important message: He proclaims at every opportunity that he'd never make higher education accessible only to those in the higher echelons of society. The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks.

Although a thorough discussion of crotchety militarism is beyond the scope of this letter, Wist recently got caught red-handed trying to expand, augment, and intensify the size and intrusiveness of his coalition of stubborn, choleric wisenheimers and impertinent vulgarians. Well, surprise, surprise, surprise, as Gomer Pyle would say. If we don't remove the Wist threat now, it will bite us in our backside by the next full moon. I hope it will not disappoint you to learn that I have an inveterate hatred of him. Now that's a strong conclusion to draw just from the evidence I've presented in this letter so let me corroborate it by saying that Wist has nothing but contempt for responsibility, duty, and honor. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to.

There is absolutely nothing that birdbrained tightwads like Wist will not do to destroy their enemies. They will poke into the most secret family affairs and not rest until their truffle-searching instinct digs up some crude incident that is calculated to finish off their unfortunate victim. I hereby publicly condemn his lascivious opinions. In doing so, I publicly proclaim that if one believes statements like, "Wist's ostentatious lynch mob is a benign and charitable agency," one is, in effect, supporting the most petulant mendicants I've ever seen.

Think about how easy it's become for foul scumbags to impact public policy for years to come. Wist likes to quote all of the saccharine, sticky moralisms about "human rights" and the evils of Dadaism. But as soon as we stop paying attention, he invariably instructs his henchmen to foster suspicion -- if not hatred -- of "outsiders". Then, when someone notices, the pattern repeats from the beginning. Though this game may seem perverse beyond belief to any sane individual it makes perfect sense in light of Wist's blathering, nefarious perceptions.

Is it just me, or do other people also think that Wist's bald-faced lies and growing list of material falsehoods raise some new and very disturbing issues? I ask because Wist has planted his janissaries everywhere. You can find them in businesses, unions, activist organizations, tax-exempt foundations, professional societies, movies, schools, churches, and so on. Not only does this subversive approach enhance Wist's ability to befuddle the public and make sin seem like merely a sophisticated fashion but it also provides irrefutable evidence that I sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying that he knows that performing an occasional act of charity will make some people forgive -- or at least overlook -- all of his mingy excesses. My take on the matter is that Wist sometimes puts himself in charge of preventing me from sleeping soundly at night. At other times, one of his hatchet men is deputed for the job. In either case, the purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how uncouth and worthless Wist has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how the whole of his nutty, disagreeable worldview may perhaps be expressed in one simple word. That word is "absolutism". Let me explain: Wist accuses me of being a liar. The only proven liar around here, however, is Wist. Only a die-hard liar like Wist could claim that granting him complete control over our lives is as important as breathing air. The truth, in case you haven't already figured it out, is that all the deals he makes are strictly one-way. Wist gets all the rights, and the other party gets all the obligations.

You don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: Wist is not as bleeding-heart or execrable as you might think. He's more so. You can sum up his contrivances in one word: wily. The objection may still be raised that doing the fashionable thing is more important than life or liberty. At first glance this sounds almost believable yet the following must be borne in mind: Wist's expositors are too impuissant to stand up to him. But the problems with Wist's inclinations don't end there. There is one final irony to my story. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke Sr. Wist to create new (and reinforce existing) prejudices and misconceptions.

[Princess Kilvas]

Umm...what's this topic about? I'm confused...D:

[bunny: spider bitten]

It's basically a flame topic, with long posts and forced eloquence to distract from what it is.

[Knife]

It's basically a flame topic, with long posts and forced eloquence to distract from what it is.

No other topic is more important and explains better the demise of our society than the saga of Msgr. Bunny. For starters, if we don't remove the Bunny threat now, it will bite us in our backside by next weekend. Maybe you, too, want to carry our once-proud nation deeper into savagery and depravity, so let me warn you: Today, we might have let him insult my intelligence. Tomorrow, we won't. Instead, we will review the basic issues at the root of the debate.

I'm sticking out my neck a bit in talking about Bunny's campaigns. It's quite likely he will try to retaliate against me for my telling you that his jokes have kept us separated for too long from the love, contributions, and challenges of our brothers and sisters in this wonderful adventure we share together -- life! Pardon my saying so, but in Bunny's demands, animalism is witting and unremitting, virulent and yawping. He revels in it, rolls in it, and uses it to discredit and intimidate the opposition.

I'll give you an example of this, based on my own experience. As you know, Bunny's occasional demonstrations of benevolence are not genuine. Nor are his promises. In fact, I correctly predicted that Bunny would help insecure fugitives evade capture by the authorities. Alas, I didn't think he'd do that so effectively -- or so soon. He has a near-legendary lack of common sense, decency, and manners. That being the case, we decidedly can infer that he refuses to come to terms with reality. Bunny prefers instead to live in a fantasy world of rationalization and hallucination. Msgr. Bunny has become increasingly quasi-drossy ever since childhood. Never forget that and never let him deliver an additional blow to dignity and self-worth.

[uguu]

They're using some generator on some site.

[Seichi]

A tl;dr generator, rite?