Spiritual Experience Discussion

[RLR_FYE]

In 2017, I had a manic episode. 
My father, who is a businessman, turned an empty warehouse  into a makeshift mental hospital privately hiring a small staff of medical aids and a doctor and nursed me back to health. 

When the doctor said I was well, my father left me in the care of his personal assistant to nurse me back to healththe warehouse  after the doctor was done to make sure I transitioned back into regular life… except what happened next was his assistant went rogue and decided I was still sick and locked me in the room that had served as the padded wall room for my recover. 

My father’s assistant was a mentor figure to me and heavily influenced my Christian faith growing up.and inspired me to be a better human being and helped to reconcile many negative experiences I had with Christians as a gay man.  So to say that that this was just some business assistant who went on a power trip is not the case here. This is a betrayal by a man who I considered a brother in every sense of the word.

Locked in a room against my will, I cried out to God and received and answer to my prayer that sent chills down my spine.

“Just change sides”

The voice said.

At this point, I felt an icy touch on my body and instinctively I knew it was Satan.

Satan began to share w it h me secrets about God that God didn’t want me to know. His tyranny , arrogance, and ego. 

He told me that I’ve seen enough failures in the church to know that Christianity was a joke and I should join the winning team. 

He told me that if I worshipped him he would give me dark powers beyond my wildest dreams. 

I replied and told him that I know my Bible and I know what the cost of worshipping Satan is: going to hell.

Satan replied with a very different offer. He began to share with me the process for becoming an anti-Christ candidate. And called me to his high priesthood.

I said no again

So Satan came at me a third time with an offer that was too good no to refuse. He struck a deal that he would show me his power without having to worship him and called it an “internship”.  I would receive a taste of his power without having to worship him.

So in the following day when I was let out of my room for a drink of water, the water began to change color in my cup and I began to taste these fruity drinks with no alcoholic aftertaste but all the effects of alcohol. I became intoxicated without realizing it and so Satan reproduced the old miracle of Water into wine. 

When I sobered up, Satan asked me again if I wanted to worship him and I said no.

The next few days Satan would appear to me at random times and begin to share more “secrets” about God to me. 

When I was thrown into the locked room again he told me.

“Paul and Silas praised God and the walls of their prison came crashing down. Worship me and I will perform the same miracle.”

I again said no and reminded him that hell is not worth being physically free.

The next few days I began having people visit me. I had brother in law beat me unconscious with a baseball bat, I had my best friend Kyle suck on my penis and I had other people doing strange and unusual things all Christian.  I saw my brother in law being taken out of the warehouse in handcuffs. 

I came to the realization that Satan had sent demons disguised as Christians I know to torment me and the cops that never were in the warehouse were probably angels taking the demon out of the warehouse since after the “arrest” My. Either in law never did anymore things to me like that. 

After this, Satan appeared to me a third time and began to fill me with demons overwhelming my mind. 

I experienced a case of real amnesia forgetting who I was and where I was. Then as my memory began to “return”, I remembered my mother and father were no longer divorced. I beloved a fake utipion life for myself where my life went in a different direction because my mother and father were happily married

After a day of this delusion, my memory was restored and with it, pain and anguish becauSe the wonderful life I had lived had evaporated.

It was then that Satan made his move.

He told me

“Now you understand what you lost because of God. Now you understand why you should worship me. Worship me and I will make it so your frothed and father never left each other.”

And I said no but one thing about words is that, at the end of the day Satan is the God of all lies and even though I said no, my heart faltered and Satan called me out for it.

He told me there was no internship that I had been worshipping him the entire time and that I would pay for my “blasphemy” against him. 

From here, I was put through a tortured hat is impossible to describe but very real. People don’t understand that when it comes to highs, there is not a single drug on Earth that beats the physical euphoria of possession by legion. The torture is real but so is the physical pleasure. Your spirit aches while your body cries out in ecstasy. 

During this time I begged for a Bible and was told I didn’t need one. That I didn’t read it anyways and that there were other ways to practice my faith without one.

My torment continued for months and Satan had broken me completely. I cried out in worship hoping he would stop. He didn’t. He would remind me over and over again about how the church had screwed me over and over again and for the final time they denied me a Bible when I needed it most and for that I was weak and pathetic for even trying to be a Christian.

Then one day something very unexpected happened, I was visited by a different spirit neither Angel nor Demon but rather my dead Uncle Thomas who tied his spirit around my feet and stitched himself to me as Peter Pans shadow was sewn to his feet by Wendy.

Thomas explained to me that Satan could not take my soul despite my reasons for one very simple reason.

When I was a teenager I almost took my life and my best friend Kyle was there for me in a way that prevented such an event. When I was 16 I made a pledge to repay him fo his kindness and from there I spent the next 10 years burdened with a life debt I could never repay.

One day I talked to Kyle about it and he and he didn’t want me owing him his life and I told him I made a vow before God and I can’t break that  and he said that released me.

Thomas explained to me that when someone releases someone from a binding agreement with God it creates a new kind of spiritual atmosphere.

No human being can release you from a vow you made to God but if they do, they have sown a powerful seed that can be harvested at any time by God.

Kyle’s act of kindness allowed God to intervene in the situation by sending my Uncle Thomas to protect me from Satan’s wrath. 

When you truly pledge your life to someone, your life is no longer your own. It is spoken for by someone else so even though I did cave into Satan’s temptations and tortured, Satan cannot legally torture what he does not own. 

From here I was released but the trauma of my torture still haunts me to this day.

Id love to hear your thoughts on this and also if you have an intense spiritual experience of your own to share please do.

[Shoblongoo]

Makes me wonder how much of the history of World Religions is just mentally ill people ascribing spiritual significance to their manias and psychotic episodes. 

Edited July 20, 2022 by Shoblongoo

[Zapp Branniglenn]

...god the christian healthcare experience is terrifying. Locked in a warehouse, being denied legal medical treatment. The great thing about the hospital setting is that Doctors can't try to fucking kill you without the entire institution finding out. How certain are you that the medical "staff" aren't just a group of local jackasses hoping to perform some conversion therapy that they read about on the web? So many times in my life my doctor was the only person I could confide to. The only person that could lend credibility to what was wrong, and suggest ways to fix it. If I only had my parents and strangers from church I'm certain I could never make it this far.

[Armchair General]

On 7/20/2022 at 6:45 AM, Shoblongoo said:

Makes me wonder how much of the history of World Religions is just mentally ill people ascribing spiritual significance to their manias and psychotic episodes. 

I would list some examples, but they tend to become closer to being an pyramid scheme than anything else. 

 

But at any rate, I really hope that the OP has talked to an actual professional about this. As interesting as it is to discover why...certain types of people...have such an extreme take on religion, you really should pull yourself together before it's too late.

Edited July 21, 2022 by Armchair General

[Lord Raven]

I genuinely believe the zealots are simply taught to not be self-aware, and be more in tune with a set of contradictory principles rather than actually self-consciously reading the Bible.

 

I haven't read any religious text in too much detail, but I feel like many religious texts are a collection of stories that warn us of bad things in the air and show us the result. And how the bad things were ultimately human greed leading to people causing the wrong things to happen. It hit me when I saw someone using word for word Bible verses to describe Trump as the antichrist and it generally hit me that it could easily describe any dictatorial or authoritarian figure in the past. That is basically what the religious texts are attempting to get at, and I think the modernization of religion (which is also happening, part of why zealotry is so pronounced as a response) is basically now acknowledging we can deal with the ramifications of a lot of these issues and the only thing that can really kill us our own greed or when we crucify those who want to help and want us all to do better (Jesus Christ, a figure the majority of people do not seem to understand).

 

It seems like the books are historical texts filled with warnings, and the institution of religion itself is led by corrupt figures focused on greed. I actually have a hard time wording my thoughts on religion, but I really wonder if anyone understands what I mean.

 

I am sorry to hear about everything I have read. I really wish you the best, I don't know what I can really offer honestly.

Edited July 21, 2022 by Lord Raven