Thingy Person Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I've heard some jokes about Santa Clause, how he condones slave labour and spies on children, appearantly. Well, get a load of this. This, ladies and mentlegents, is Sinterklaas. He comes from 'Spain' to Belgium and some other countries each 6 december. His full name is Saint Nicholas (see: Saint Nick) and he was famous for loving children a whole damn lot. On those nights, he walks on rooftops. Mounted on a horse. An old, stinky horse. But there's more. Sinterklaas has a series of subordinates at his disposal, named 'Zwarte Pieten' (litterally: Black Dicks). These Black Dicks crawl down the chimneys for him and drop off the presents. And these presents are only candy and other delicious treats, unlike with Christmas (see: "I know you asked for Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, but I thought you'd like Wii Family Ski more!) However, certain commoners have complained to the good old Sint that he shouldn't treat his many dicks as slaves, so he just pulled an excuse out of his ass that the ashes from the chimney make them look black, but they're actually white, thereby justifying everything. Sinterklaas, and one of his Black Dicks Another trademark of the Sint's is that he dispenses chocolate in the shape of what just so happens to be the first letter of your name, seeing as he knows everything about you, including when you masturbate. The best part is, though, that thanks to capitalism and the tendency of American things to reoccur in Europe (as with Global Warming, unfortunately) we celebrate both Sinterklaas AND Christmas. Take THAT, malcontent elven labourers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judge Judy Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 WTF! ._. Thats just creepy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteor Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Dicks? Like a man dick? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fruitloop Multipuck Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 Wikipedia says it means Black Petes. >_> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 See... see this is why I'm through with traditional holidays. There's just no point anymore. I'd rather celebrate something with alittle more meaning to me... like the day something I order off of eBay get's here, or something like that. Also... is that a pope hat he's wearing? W.T.F. my child. Go in peace, you strange dick inslaving bastard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Wright Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 What did you say? /South Park Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Defeatist Elitist Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 I like black dicks. Now I will wait... :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteor Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 If it's black dicks you like, it's black dicks you'll get! These dicks are not actually black, just ashy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 This black dick thing is making me uncomfortable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sealed Roy Posted December 7, 2008 Share Posted December 7, 2008 (edited) Isn't it Black Pete?Sinterklaas(St. Nick) has always creeped me out. Edited December 7, 2008 by Sealed Roy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seph Posted December 7, 2008 Share Posted December 7, 2008 He'd be a good member in my child hunting events. What the hell is this, seriously? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thingy Person Posted December 7, 2008 Author Share Posted December 7, 2008 He'd be a good member in my child hunting events.What the hell is this, seriously? It's a holiday where some guy dressed as a Turkish bishop goes around the schools. Picture Christmas, but with a guy in a santa suit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonri Posted December 7, 2008 Share Posted December 7, 2008 Sinterklaas, My santa > Your santa Fail. The Olensero (Basque Santa) >>>>>>>>> all other holiday personifications. He wears blue, keeps the presents in his magic hat and doesn't afraid of anyhing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tino Posted December 7, 2008 Share Posted December 7, 2008 5th of December, actually. A few weeks earlier in fact, since Sinterklaas doesn't arrive just to leave that same night ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thingy Person Posted December 7, 2008 Author Share Posted December 7, 2008 5th of December, actually. A few weeks earlier in fact, since Sinterklaas doesn't arrive just to leave that same night ;) But he takes the naughty children with him in a sack and spanks them when he's back home. What does he need to stay here for? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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