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Flan Emblem: Blazing Loins - Poly plays FE7 (COMPLETE)


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DOUBLE POST DUN CURR

[spoiler=Chapter 2: Flan Does Nothing of Importance]

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So we get to fight ghosts?

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Translation: SHE'S A WITCH

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chaptah screen

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Oh boy, now's my chance to escape

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pfft, there's no religion in Sacae

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/Sain

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GLASS LOGIC

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needed to be done

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"First you get the power, then you get the money, then you get the women..."

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Except it wasn't.

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Glass logic 2.0

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WHAT NO WE MUST STEAL IT FIRST

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pfft, fuck that we don't need to go into the houses here

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DAMMIT SAIN

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DAMMIT LYN

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As soon as I can bench you, you're benched

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Strength? I'll take it.

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Not taking any chances with this dumb broad.

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LYN SHALL DODGE-CHOKE THIS POINT.

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OKAY NEVER MIND

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JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!

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MY DRILL IS THE DRILL

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THAT SHALL PIERCE THE HEAVENS

btw, this was a Kent crit

Kent is now un-benched

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Hey, he stole my one line from the prologue!

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FUCK THE WEAPON TRIANGLE

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back on the bench for you, scrub-dick

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Except for, y'know, this one leg that I lost.

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But can we steal it?

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quick Lyn grab it and run

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BITCHIN' 2000'S TECHNOLOGY

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Does that mean the sword's gonna eat her?

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So that means we don't have to steal it?

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Lyn, for fuck's sake, it's just a katana. Not like it's that cool or anything.

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And now she's useful.

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Killing Edge says otherwise

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And then they had hot, passionate sex. While Sain watched.

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ANTA BAKA!

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(insert dick joke here)

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Does this mean we can leave now?

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MEANWHILE, AT THE LEGION OF DOOM

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"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT?!"

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Because bandits are sooooooooooooo threatening.

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Remember kids: to leave no bruises, use poison or oranges.

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SOON.

This run sucks all my levels suck myahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*laughs gleefully at your suffering*

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Yeah! Bartre should kill EVERY BOSS HE CAN FIGHT!!!

Also, for the sake if a joke, have Bartre kill Ursula with a critical hit from a hammer.

I'm not doing that last bit. That requires too much RNG dickery.

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but you'll do the first one?

I make no promises.

UPDATE-ERUUUUUUUUUUUU

[spoiler=Chapter 3: Flan & The Not-Waifu]

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One of whom is her future husbando

And the other is Kent

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Except not really. These guys blow.

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Does this mean I get an early Hero?!

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nope never mind

Also, it's full of dead shit.

You should stay here and guard it while I go somewhere... not here.

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wish it was one less

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Kent gives no fucks for his waifu

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Except they probably used axes.

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lol since when the fuck do I care about you

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Looks like the beginning of a bad porno to me

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Yup, it's a bad porno

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*cue cheesy 80's porn music*

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Except there's one right in front of you...

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Kent resumes caring for his waifu

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I didn't know they had lesbian porn in the 80's

this changes everything

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Is pegasus code for "fat ass"?

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Unless he's into that sort of thing.

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Maybe for you, scrub

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What do you mean "your" tactician, hobag?

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She obviously wants to jiggle me.

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WIL

SWAGSWAGSWAG

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something something Illusion Dance

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STRENGTH

LYN YES

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Res keeps this from sucking too bad.

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WOOT

CHECK OUT MY PHAT LEWT

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"Oh... it's only money."

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something something Dancing Blade

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SAIN SHALL CHOKE THIS POINT

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[face_Navi]

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I wish this subplot went somewhere.

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Except for if it resembles cheesy 80's porn.

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"My name is Lyn of Sacae. You killed my father. But you're not going to die."

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fuck that lol we need a fight

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So, unlike the above Lyn convo, I didn't actually know this was a thing.

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fuck me, right?

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"I SPENT TWENTY BUCKS ON THIS SHIRT AND NOW IT'S RUINED"

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And then it became rape.

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so many boss quotes

Migal pls

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YOU ARE ALL SCRUBS COMPARED TO THE MIGHTY SAIN

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SEX PANTHER

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lol, what the fuck is an Ilia?

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Moreso fantasizing you, but... yeah probably.

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"And it did, because now I'm with you!"

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Now, Florina, jump into her not-so-womanly bosom

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SEX PANTHER STRIKES AGAIN

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Not really

It's pretty much just you & the bitch over there

The rest are filler

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lol Wil don't curr

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fuck you scrub we need all the units we can get

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She only wants to go because she's going to assrape Lyn at night

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But first, SEX PANTHER

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YES

WE NEED RANGE

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Actually homeless. Calling it now.

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more like Sain & his bitches

ft. Wil

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NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING IF YOU DIDN'T KIDNAP ME EARLIER

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MAKE ME PROUD AND USE WIL LONGTERM

He'll probably be benched for Rebecca

BUT DAMMIT I WILL USE AN ARCHER SOMEWHERE IN THIS PLAYTHROUGH

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For the record, I claim the best Fiora. Funnily enough, this is the only time I've ever used her.

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All of those units look pretty bro, but I must keep up my contrarian image for the presses.

Edited by Refa
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For the record, I claim the best Fiora. Funnily enough, this is the only time I've ever used her.

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All of those units look pretty bro, but I must keep up my contrarian image for the presses.

Statboosters doe

Would've posted all my 20s, but they were either squishy or were Canas (who for some reason got RNG fucked HARD).

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I'm pretty sure I robbed her (clearly I am a feminist, more clothing for da vumen!), and probably gave her a Dracoshield or two, but otherwise no statboosters (no Energy Rings in Hector Mode, no need for Skill/Spd/Res boosters).

EDIT Oh, and Boots DUH that's only like THE MOST IMPORTANT STATBOOSTER EVER).

Edited by Refa
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DOUBLE POST DUN CURR

[spoiler=Chapter 4: Flan and CHIPAS Go to Sepia Castle]

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And Sain's sword...

And Florina's lance...

AND MY AXE

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wait whut

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It's a sucky little hole in the ground.

still better than Wallace.

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Wil does not do the jesting, Sex Panther.

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Me. It's cold out here and shit.

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I SHIP IT

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holy fuck I'm high again my printer's calling me a chick

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oh never mind

WAIT IS YOUR HUSBAND BARTRE

YES I NEED HIM

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He will be soon, doe.

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FUCK

NOT BARTRE

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DAT FACE

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"There's a sex panther with them! We can't win!"

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I wouldn't call Kent & Wil pretty...

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THAT SOUNDS LIKE CHIP DAMAGE

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aw Dorcas loves his waifu

let's kill her

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LYN, GO DIE IN A HOLE

SAIN, GET ME OUT OF HERE

THE REST OF YOU, DO WHATEVER

command over, gg everyone

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"Well, I'm not Bartre."

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"Money is important, something something weapons..."

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And then they had sex and Lyn gave him 20 bucks.

gg Lyn

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I KNEW IT

CHIP DAMAGE

YOU ARE HEREBY CHRISTENED CHIPAS *shot by ZM for stealing Chipas from him*

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Kent sucks at choking points

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Like, really sucks

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Lyn's not much better

She did ORKO this guy though

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SUPER CHIP

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At least it's not a Shin level

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SO BRO

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NOT BRO

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Kent still sucks at dodging axes

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STEEL SWORDS AHOY

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I don't remember why I took this shot

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SO STRONG

WHO NEEDS DEFENSE

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Lyn can double the mercs now

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Because they have a sexy sexy tactician

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Why are you telling Sain to bring you more men?

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SEX PANTHER I AM NOT AMUSE

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SO STRONG

WHO NEEDS SPEED

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MORE CHIPAS

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holy fuck why are you never like this usually

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Florina is a scrub, she can't even double

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"Take... that generic brigand... instead..."

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This was supposed to be two shots of Dorcas doubling, but my timing on the one must've sucked.

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something something Larxene wants her gimmick back

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yuss

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LYN YES

YOU LEARNED TO DODGE

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I couldn't tell because the battle screen's gone

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What do you mean "we", scrub?

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YAY AXE CHIPPING

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At least he's better than Wallace.

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You shall make a fine chipper.

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Except I'm still tied up.

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SEX PANTHER FEARS NOTHING

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fuck that I'm leaving lol

Edited by Polydeuces
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Sex panther wants a challenge

IT'S OFFICIAL

SAIN IS NOW SEX PANTHER

Kent is now subsequently Bull Shit

WELP. SHINKI'S FAVORITE CHAPTER IS HURR.

[spoiler=Chapter 5: Flan Gets The Healing Touch]

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fucking hangovers

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He probably looks like a foot

I can see the family resemblance

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Ooh, does this mean we're illegal aliens now?!

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Probably not. I doubt Lycia doesn't have bandits.

Not like Sex Panther cares, though. He can kill them in his sleep.

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What, like, four chapters?

Sex Panther pls

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Maybe you aren't, Bull Shit.

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BUT WAIT WHAT'S THIS

I'm having a hard time deciding which face is uglier

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Lyn's irateness knows no bounds.

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SERRA

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He called you a bitch.

Pretty sure, anyways.

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Escort? So... Erk's the opposite of a pimp?

oh wait his pimpness doesn't kick in until Hector Mode

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Well, she does have shitty base defense...

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"Protect"? Is that what they call it nowadays?

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She'll cram that stave so far up your ass...

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ALL TSUN, NO DERE

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ALL E, NO MO

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Serra reminds of Cynthia for some reason.

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Pimpin' ain't easy, Erk.

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I wouldn't call Wil young...

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Erk gives no fucks

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yup. that happened.

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THREE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!

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Again, way too similar to Cynthia here. All she needs is the peg...

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Erk is too much like me.

We must silence him.

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please don't get Mag fucked

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see Erk

but sadly due to Shinki's yandere-ness I'm locked into using you

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Kent continues to show how not to dodge shit

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Still squishy, but STRENGTH

AND SPEED

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STILL BRO

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THE SEX PANTHER CARES NOT FOR YOUR BULLSHIT, GENERIC MERC.

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SEX PANTHER LIKE STRENGTH. MAKE SEX PANTHER GOOD FOR MORE SEXING.

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That's some weird emphasis there, buddy.

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Yeah...

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No.

This is an Erk crit, btw.

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I can feel your bench spot warming up already

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fuck your compliments ya dumb broad

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That's because Sacae has no mages yet. They're all dead.

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no fireplace stop hitting on me

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SEX PANTHER LIKE TSUNTSUN CLERIC

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SEX PANTHER VERY NOBLE, BUT ALSO VERY FLIRTY

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Meanwhile, Erk's going to his happy place

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Wait, another lesbo?

oh Sex Panther, I pity you

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no we weren't

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As usual, Erk is the reasonable one of the bunch

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Except you're probably not doing that much despite your constant presence

Erk's getting benched the moment I get this crew back in HNM

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puke into your pimp hat

it holds no value yet

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MEANWHILE, AT THE HALL OF JUSTICE LEGION OF DOOM

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Your border security sucks bruh

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Let's pretend I don't know where that is

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"If that means stabbing her in the vag, then stab that bitch in the vag!"

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"Or like Sega to the Sonic franchise!"

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This seems like a familiar plan

LYN.

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"Except for you, since I don't have a portrait that can push you."

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I can agree with all of this. Oh, use my bro Lowen too

olol

HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS GUY WHO THINKS LOWEN'S NOT GOING TO BE GLUED TO THE BENCH AFTER C16

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