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TheMoniker

TheMoniker plays all of Markyjoe's crap(ALIVE ONCE MORE)

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derkin is pretty adorable. . . still feel bad bout the nose though for some reason. . .

also since sgsmiles said so might as well mention i was part of the team too, doing. . . pretty much the same stuff as sgt.

also made the sorlene, derkin, bandit boss ch1 guy, and my rep mug. dont know why im mentioning this but eh.

also the 2 outdated maps were part of the original setup for the first few chapters, which involved bandits and kidnapping. in fact the prolouge itself went through waaaaay to many revisions before the version you see before you, though most of them still kept mage guy as the first boss. also originally you didnt get sorlene, shigeid and kisan for the prolouge as far as i remember, and a choice in chapter 1 to let sorlene leave to get kidnapped by bandits for ch5 or so but be there with better stats, or raise her yourself.

also marc made a lovely world map that i would show you if he would allow me, but since hes not hear to ask and all, i guess ill just show you two unused boss mugs.

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Jef the first ch2 boss (and who disappeared into oblivion)

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and the boss for a chapter i was suppose to be working on but had to get help from marc to make it work, and he eventually just took over. i called him joemajoe.

cause ya know.

why not.

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derkin is pretty adorable. . . still feel bad bout the nose though for some reason. . .

also since sgsmiles said so might as well mention i was part of the team too, doing. . . pretty much the same stuff as sgt.

Nice to meet you as well!

also made the sorlene, derkin, bandit boss ch1 guy, and my rep mug. dont know why im mentioning this but eh.

Cool. I think that Nor-whatever guy was pretty good.

also the 2 outdated maps were part of the original setup for the first few chapters, which involved bandits and kidnapping. in fact the prolouge itself went through waaaaay to many revisions before the version you see before you, though most of them still kept mage guy as the first boss. also originally you didnt get sorlene, shigeid and kisan for the prolouge as far as i remember, and a choice in chapter 1 to let sorlene leave to get kidnapped by bandits for ch5 or so but be there with better stats, or raise her yourself.

also marc made a lovely world map that i would show you if he would allow me, but since hes not hear to ask and all, i guess ill just show you two unused boss mugs.

CH2%20Boss%20-%20Jef.png

Jef the first ch2 boss (and who disappeared into oblivion)

JoeMajoe.png

and the boss for a chapter i was suppose to be working on but had to get help from marc to make it work, and he eventually just took over. i called him joemajoe.

They look like very nice generic bosses!

cause ya know.

why not.

Shiny, if you wanna show them anything from the project that belongs to me, go right ahead.

Hey, no! Get back here! YOU CAN'T LEAVE US YET! NOOOOO!

*attempts futile pursuit*

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Project Shoeshine: Level 02: Berserker Hills: Part 1: Uphill Final Battle

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Well, here we go. I mean, this can't be too bad, right?

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Immediately, we're dumped into this map! Again, it lined up far too not-goodly for me to make one out of screenshots, so...

Anyways, you'll notice that all the units are promoted, and that there's three villages around! Our objective is to save the villages! Let's look at our units...

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Hey, they seem a bit different!

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Holy CRAP have we been buffed! Everyone has been autoleveled to insane heights! We have gained MAXIMUM POWER!

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Jonsin still has some really...balanced...stats...

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Poalski is pretty much immune to physical attacks, but really doesn't boast much else except for some good weapon variety.

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Flovu gained (some) magic, and tons of speed and luck. Still, she can't serve any purpose but support.

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Shigeid capped strength and has loads of HP, and has relatively balanced stats in everything else.

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Kinsan's problem is not his speed or skill, but his low Mag when using a weapon type with low Mt. And if he uses that Aura, he'll be weighed down too much to make use of that speed.

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Yurino didn't get buffed, and still has her stats from last chapter. She'll pretty much be sitting this one out.

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Holy WHAT, Marina? I guess you'll basically be our crutch character of awesomeness!

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Lussaria herself is very very powerful, but she has a major CON problem. Still, as long as we keep her on terrain, she should be able to dodge most things that come her way.

You might have noticed this earlier, but the last one is NOT Feltyn(who's mysteriously missing), it's...

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NEW LADY! Despite being "famed", she isn't THAT powerful. Still, she'll be pretty helpful!

What with all these buffs and awesome items, what enemies are we going against here?

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Whoa, what? These hilariously lopsides berserkers are threatening for only one reason; They can two-shot pretty much everyone. Seriously.

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The other enemies have more balanced stats. Like these snipers, which exist to man the ballistae and be annoying.

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Oh, and there's bandits coming towards the village! If you slow down your advance against these enemies for even a minute, you DIE!

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This is what most combat engagements look like against the berserkers. Yes, many of them have killer axes.

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There's also this particularly annoying one on a mountain near the start, who Flovu miserably fails to take out.

(Also, do you remember how I turned animations off last chapter? Project Shoeshine "kindly" resets your setting whenever you enter a level!)

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There we go! Some more competent combatants(Lussari critted, btw)!

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Hey ballistician! Start picking off enemies for us!

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First turn setup...

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Oh, what? He was downed to this much HP in ONE HIT. Stupid silver-wielding wyverns!

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Stupid, stupid silver-wielding wyverns!

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MAYBE, KINSAN.

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I turn on animations for a moment, to see this AMAZING promoted palette.

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Lussaria DOESN'T crit this time, but she at least has a legible palette.

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Our green archers, working as a team to take these losers down!

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Silver axes. They hurt.

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But Lussaria gets her revenge!

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As I said, can't do anything but support. This should give you an idea of how POWERFUL all the wyverns flying around are. And she's standing on a forest! My other, slower units can't dodge like she can!

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BAM!

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OOPS.

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You know what? Maybe I'll just let her stay dead.

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Dodge...

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KILL...

(Come on guys, we can survive the first enemy phase!)

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NOPE.

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It looks like it's all over for poor Jonsin...

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Welp.

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Since mister 8-move paladin is kinda needed on a chapter specifically about moving really fast to save villages, I DO reset for him.

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Anyways, back to trying to clear the first turn, and finding out Leniane is crazy delicate...

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Anyways, this time I advance Jonsin forward a bit less, in hopes that he will survive!

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Dodge...

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Poalski leaves her with almost no HP, but NOT FOR LONG! Stupid healers!

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I finally survived the first turn, and three more wyverns came in! GREAT!

NEXT TIME: Can Moniker clear the second turn? WITHOUT ANYONE DYING? Will this LP EVER be finished? Find out...eventually!

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Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Project Shoeshine: Level 02: Berserker Hills: Part 2: Climax!

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In addition to the wyverns I showed last time, there was ALSO a bandit, who will be heading straight for that other village! And we gotta stop him!

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Jonsin visits this village for...nothing! These villagers are sure good at being grateful!

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BERSERK AGAIN!

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It misses. Because OF FREAKING COURSE IT DID.

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Whoa whoa whoa! Since WHEN was Fenrir a magic-triangle reversing tome?

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Bolting!

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Bandit!

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Jonsin comes under a lot of attack, but the guy is actually pretty resilient.

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Phew, he just BARELY--

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--DIDN'T SURVIVE!

I decide to leave him dead. I don't NEED him, right?

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We get sleep'd!

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Good news! Turn 3! Bad news, generals!

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Let's get her fixed up...

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So she can destroy these losers!

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This is where we start getting levels. At this point, they don't make much of a difference.

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And then Leniane dies, With Rebecca's death quote.

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Back to turn 2, turns out I DO need Shigeid!

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Berserk LANDS this time! Surely, this can't possibly go wrong!

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Y U SUCK SO BAD

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Jonsin doesn't save the village(in hopes of attracting less enemies), instead killing the bandit and blocking the swordsmaster.

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These bishops are weighed down SO MUCH that Mr. 9 speed can double them!

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Holy crap! Yurino wasn't even standing on a mountain! That's a CRAZY impressive dodge!

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But then, it turns out I overestimated Poalski's tankiness. Again, I decide to leave him dead...

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Of course. Berserked ballista failure.

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Shigeid heads upwards, taking some crack for good luck...

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Oh no! YOU CAN DO IT SORLENE! YOU CAN LIIIIVVEEE!

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Uh...you too, Leniane...heh heh...

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NO NO NO, ANYONE BUT THE HEALER

(it misses)

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And thus, he is a ballista target no longer...

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So our berserked "friend" hits Leniane instead!

At this point, I'm just letting my guys drop, because...

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If we can survive this wave, there will be no one left, more or less! We'll have won!

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I don't like to prioritize these non-threats, but it had to be done.

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Jonsin is going to cleverly sneak behind them.

This move saved my butt and I don't even know it yet.

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Don't care.

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Good level!

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Phew! For a minute there, I thought it was gonna be followed by-

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-DEATH!

Screw you, ballistician! You're going DOWN, berserk or no!

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Eh heh heh...seems the commander's arrived...

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His TRUE ULTIMATE FINAL FORM, ladies and gentlemen. And we have to beat him!

This is it! The BONUS BOSS of the LP! Here we go!

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Y SO MUCH RES

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Well, pesky healer who indirectly caused somebody's death, you're dead now. How does it feel?

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NOOO! She was the best one to fight Billy!

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I still didn't actually kill this guy. It turned out to be worth it.

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OH CRAP, HE'S GOING FOR THE VILLAGE

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Wait, maybe I can lure him out with Jonsin!

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NOPE.

So, I could break the snag, but then Jonsin's turn would be gone and he couldn't lure anyone.

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No one is close enough to help out...

Wait...what if... WAIT A MINUTE...

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MARINA SAVES THE DAY!

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Of course he can't QUITE reach the village, but he can keep it safe from enemies, if only for a little while!

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More good-luck drug addictioning!

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He's dead.

BUT THERE'S HOPE NOW!

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I cast berserk! MAYBE IT CAN DO SOMETHING!

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Yes! Billy was distracted by the sage, who heroically chipped him!

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And they're the only two left...

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Everyone attacks, but... he doesn't die in one turn!

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Dangit!

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If you die, you return to Level Select. Obviously, we're not doing that.

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This time around, Marina helps out!

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Gee...this is really something that matters...

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With the enemies gone, it's a simple matter to have the remnants of my army give the villagers the all-clear.

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And we are FINALLY DONE with this unrewarding LP! ...I mean, just of this hack, not all the other hacks I've played...

FINAL THOUGHTS(Project Shoeshine):

Project Shoeshine really isn't that great. I mean, it was never INTENDED to be great, just a little something to mess around with. I can't really blame it, I suppose. I honestly don't think this hack had any chance of becoming good or well known, and...well, I honestly don't have much to say! That's really it!

TRUE FINAL THOUGHTS(All of Markyjoe's crap):

In all honesty, not all of it was actually crap! I actually enjoyed this LP, at certain points! The creator comments were nice too...while they lasted. The first four hacks we played were bad, definitely, and Corruption of Roy was "just okay" at best, although I still think that LP was some of my most entertaining material yet. IMO, at least. Chronicles of Lussaria was amazing and I will again say how much potential was wasted. Project Shoeshine...well, you just read my thoughts on it. Anyways, I look forward to seeing... uh... uhhhh... IF Markyjoe ever does anything in the future! But for now, pretty much his entire non-video hacking legacy is here! Hope you all enjoyed!

The LP is over! Now I can focus on the Rolling Request Thread, which I want you all to check out! I'll update the Table of Contents in the OP and my sig... soon.

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I am absolutely amazed you beat billy. your reward is a mountain of salt produced by me and my tears

Seriously congratz man. (also expect to hear from me very soon hehehehehe)

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Hello, everyone.

I know it's been a while. More than a while, in fact. It's been over a year! But I got a request I couldn't ignore, so I think I'd like to do one more Let's Play, just for fun. And sure enough, it was made by the creator of all the other hacks on this thread, Markyjoe!

So, what is it? It's Markyjoe's first hack in a long while, released amidst the flames of Ragefest V, as a follow up to a hack in Ragefest IV...

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Marc's Precious: Revenge

(A Sacred Stones hack. Yes, this is the right ROM.)

THE STORY SO FAR:

In Ragefest IV, a hack was submitted: "Marc's Precious". This is the first part of the videos of Markyjoe playing the hack, the rest can be found on youtube:

(Was automatic embedding added while I was gone? Huh.)

Quick note; watching the videos is NOT required to fully enjoy this. Here, I'll give a little rundown of the plot, or at least, the plot relevant to know going into this:

Mark showed up at a group of unknown ruins, looking for the vaunted "Marc's precious", an incredible item of... power, or... something... we don't really learn that much at the start. Many other random developments, silly characters, and rage-filled twists appear, and throughout, the mystery builds. What is Marc's Precious? What is this mysterious thing we know so little about? Now, most Ragefest hacks don't give Markyjoe any reward for victory except the sheer satisfaction of it. But in Markyjoe's mind, he began to want to beat this submission, so he could find the truth: What IS Marc's Precious?

Now, see, the thing about mysteries like this is, they're ALWAYS better in your head than they are when you actually find out what they are. You're always wondering if it's going to be this great, earth-shattering thing, but 99% of the time it's going to be either A: something not quite good enough or B: Actually nothing, it was inside you all along, or some crap. Evidently, FDRstar, the creator of the original Marc's Precious, thought the same. It would always be better in your imagination, so... we never learn what Marc's Precious is. Never. We don't even get some spiritual self-reflective crap, just nothing!

And that's what this hack set out to change.

Now then... it's time for our quest to learn the truth... TO BEGIN!

Also, do note: Crass language and jokes abound. Slightly less so than Old Fire Mumblem, but still. You can say they're tasteless, but you can't say you weren't warned!

Marc's Precious: Episode 1 Prelude: The Beginning of Something

 

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See? This is the correct ROM! It's confirmed.

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I know you'd all be mad if I didn't take this option. Granted, I'm going to be mad at myself later on for taking it, I'm sure. But you all know about me and peer pressure.

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Yes, this is the sort of hack this is going to be. Very meta, and with nice CGs!

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Also, this is from the perspective of Markyjoe's older brother, Evil Eggo Waffle.

N: He was playing my favorite Ragefest submission, Marc’s Precious.

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N: Did you see a dick stickin’ out of Soda Popinski’s pants? I didn’t.

If you didn't read the summary spoiler up there, there's the hack's summary of it! Granted, mine is obviously better, but I think this one has more FEELING.

Also... Nude Punch Out? Really?

Wait... that's right, this hack came with an in-jokes document! If you ever see another spoiler within this spoiler, odds are, it's an explanation of an in-joke!

Nude Punch Out - A Mike Tyson's Punch Out ROM hack created by ExDeath in 1997. EvilEggoWaffle and I streamed it, and noted the lack of nudity on Soda Popinski and other fighters.

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N: We never get to see what Mark’s Precious is! Justice must be served, with a waffle as the entrée! But a waffle can’t do it alone, he needs an oven, preheated to nineteen ninety!

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Don't worry, it's not Marc's Precious getting revenge! ...Probably. I haven't finished it yet. It's us! Getting revenge on FDRstar!

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And here's our main character! Markyjoe/Marc! Now, this uses a custom portrait, made and updated throughout the Ragefests, that looks sort of similar to Markyjoe IRL. Since Evil Eggo Waffle, hereon referred to as EEW, is a character in this hack, maybe we'll get to see a portrait that looks like him, too!

Mark: What?

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Oh, so that's how it is.

I mean, I know Markyjoe's videos always gave off the impression of an interesting family dynamic... but I mean... I didn't know...

...Huh...

Mark: Oh. Y’know. The usual.

EEW: Were you just saying “prog rock” in the mirror over and over again?

Mark: Yeah. Y’know. The usual.

EEW: …

Prog Rock - Progressive rock. A genre of rock music most prominent in the late 60's, early 70's. Extremely complex and experimental. I'm obsessed with it. EvilEggoWaffle makes fun of it.

Mark: Was that all you wanted to ask?

EEW: NO! LISTEN! Did you see this FUCKING video on Youtube?

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Mark: Dipshit.

EEW: This FUCKER has wronged us!

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*checks in-jokes folder*

Uhh... I got nothing.

Mark: How does that work? Mind clarifying?

EEW: You know what I meant!

Mark: Uh… okay. No, I’d rather NOT be carried across the border, thank you.

EEW: Fuck you, dick-licker. What I mean is, are we just gonna sit here, mad? Or are we gonna DO something about this?

Mark: I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who cares about such dumb s-

EEW: Look into your soul, man! You can’t tell me you aren’t mad!

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Mark: The damage is already done.

Nonsense! If you don't know what the real Marc's Precious is, then you can just make up what it is and tell yourself it's that!

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EEW: And close the door while you’re at it.

Dylan: …

So that's "Enderthlicer", or Dylan, the youngest of the three brothers, I think. Markyjoe is the middle sibling, and also clearly the most successful, since he has a youtube channel.

EEW: On the contrary, Mark. There IS something we can do.

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Mark: Wait. WHAT?

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EEW: They’ll be here on the morrow. All we need is you. Are you in?

So, we're about to begin our standard FE gameplay! Now, just so you're prepared, the world of this hack is one that both has youtube, youtube videos, Nude Punch Out, and Progressive Rock, while simultaneously having the primary form of warfare be warriors armed with medieval weapons attacking each other in feudal-style castles over Precious disputes.

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EEW: Moooooomm!!

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Marc: Oh fuck.

Mom(offscreen): Marc! Hang out with your brother!

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As someone who also has little brothers... I FEEL YOUR PAIN, MARKYJOE.

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And we're here! We've got a big and beautiful team of 6, ready to beat up anyone and everyone in our path!

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So for units, we've got our three brothers from the Markyjoe clan... who else?

EEW: Guy. How fairs your bow arm?

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Oh, guy! Remember? He showed up back in Super Hard Lyn Mode? Speaking of which, these LPs are being mirrored over on Markyjoe's website, by the way. They look quite nice over there.

EEW: Good enough! And what of you, Yossy? I hope your battle prowess is as scary as your level design skills.

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My in-jokes file better have something here... *checks*

Yeah, it does. I think I'l wait until their stat screens to show it, though.

EEW: I’ll take that as a yes!

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EEW: I suck at Fire Emblem.

I think EEW barely even plays Fire Emblem. Did EEW help with the hack's writing? No, he probably had a hard time typing with those skinny waffle arms...

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Marc: Once we defeat the enemy leader, the rest should surrender.

You know, I was kind of expecting us to negotiate or something. I mean, we're a small group of people wearing blue clothes going up against a large group of people wearing red clothes. Frankly, the red-clothes people should be quaking in their boots if they know anything about Fire Emblem.

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Dufur: I got your letter, but… where’s that e-mail I was promised?

EEW(offscreen): Do you hear something, Marc?

Marc(offscreen): No? Let’s go!

Dufur: …

I'll talk about him in a moment. But for now, it's time to look at the level!

END DIALOGUE

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First up, let's look at all our people! We have six units, a fair amount for a hack that seems to be done in the style of Ragefest.

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The main man himself! He has a Heal staff, a basic Thunder tome, and a BOLTING of all things! He can't take a lot of hits, but he's good at hitting the enemies hard enough to kill them. Also, apologies for calling it the Markyjoe clan earlier, when it's clearly the Waffle Clan. I'd rate this guy... hmm... third best on the team. He's a good all-rounder with a lot of utility, but he needs to be protected!

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I guess even the most Evil of Eggo Waffles can follow their dreams! EEW's gone and become a hero! Unfortunately, the simple fact is that waffles do not make very durable soldiers in war. I'd rate EEW #4 in terms of unit good-ness - he can take a hit or two, and his offenses are fine, but his weapons have so low might he can't really take advantage of it. I should probably trade him something better...

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Do I need to explain this? It's not even an in-joke. I don't think I need to explain it.

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Third and final Waffle Clan sibling, EnderSlicer! This guy is the #1 unit on the team, with incredible offenses, further compounded by his extreme critrate, a good dodge rate and enough HP to take a hit when he needs to... he's just wonderful. MVP.

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EnderSlicer's Door Weapon - In several of my YouTube videos, I have told my younger brother, EnderSlicer, to close the door to my room, turning it into a running gag.

So, this thing turns Enderslicer into a super tank! Buuuut only for 5 uses. It's fine to use to tank out 2-range attackers since its durability won't be used, but I need to be wary of using it against any 1-range enemies.

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Dufur! Our mandatory healer. I'd rank him #5 in terms of unit goodness. He has magic attacks but too low Atk to get full usage out of them, so he's mostly there for that juicy healing utility. He also can't really take hits - unless they're from magic! His best combat utility is found in tanking out mages, but other than that he should stick to healing.

Dufur - Has a name that's amusing to pronounce. Made a Castlevania III hack that EvilEggoWaffle and I played, then mysteriously disappeared from the internet. We haven't been able to contact him in ages, nor do we know what he would've wanted as his in-game portrait.

For some reason, at the start of Dufur's CV3 hack, EvilEggoWaffle said he won his secret contest, and would get an e-mail from him after the video. He never sent it.

So, wait, hmmm... You could've sent him an e-mail, but never did... and you also lost contact with him entirely? This guy appearing suddenly feels a bit... weird. I feel like we're missing a piece of the story, here.

Is the only reason Dufur's helping us is to bug us about sending the email? Is the only reason Dufur heals us is that we can't send him the e-mail if we're dead? Wait... what if the reason he's accompanying us is because he died IRL, and now he's a ghost, but he can't move on because he has unfinished business... AND THE E-MAIL IS THE UNFINISHED BUSINESS?

EJz9js6.png0ljBCje.pngP1d4Tzo.png

Moving on! Here we have Yossy, ranked #6 in terms of unit combat usefulness by me. Their starts are balanced... TOO balanced. It results in them not really being good at anything! They also suffer from the same problem EEW has, in that all their items are iron/steel tier stuff. Compare to Enderslicer, who has a Silver Sword, a Smashir, and the special Door weapon. EEW at least had a dick, but Yossy doesn't even have that! Now, their one major utility is their extra-high mov, which lets them be where I need them when I need them... but they're so "bleh" that they don't get that much done once they're there.

Yossy - A Level designer in the Super Mario World Central/TalkHaus community. Designed several difficult Mario World levels that were played by EvilEggoWaffle.

dRRCaXC.pngau42S77.pngJaYec5q.png

The final member of our sextuple-sized gang, Guy! I'd rank him #2 as a unit - good offenses, good items, and a surprisingly high RES! He's certainly much better than his Super Hard Lyn Mode incarnation. That longbow lets him attack without getting countered, and the silver bow hits plenty hard to make up for somewhat lacking strength. He's great.

Guy - A real life friend of ours. Not only is that his real name, but he actually is an archer in real life, and helps run an archery.

That's... actually super cool. I guess it makes since that he'd be this good, since he actually has a combat skill.

BIG MAP:

XtNWJ5r.pngr5hV6VJ.png?1                                   gfW2xqe.png

EzLOwN1.png?1

Ah yes... remember these maps? I still know how to make them just one or two pixels off, just like old times!

roEXNB6.pngJ287nFY.png

Our main enemies this chapter are the GAMFs. We'll be slaughtering them all, of course, but they're more than strong enough to match our motley band of hackers and friends.

GAMF - Stands for Gay Ass Mother Fucker, as you can see in their description. In my second attempt at beating Dracula X for SNES, I accidentally obtained a sub weapon that I didn't want, and yelled "FUCKIN' GAY ASS MOTHER FUCKER" in frustration. EvilEggoWaffle proceeds to analyze and pick apart what a Gay Ass Mother Fucker is, and kept bringing it up throughout the rest of the commentary.

Looking at my in-jokes folder, that's... everything, actually! Looks like we'll be without guidance when trying to understand the rest of the jokes in this hack.

LPKDkMr.png

Take a look at this general here...

CcK3z6M.png8N0VQuL.pngmCqwt3D.png

He's stronger than the other GAMFs, with a crazy inventory, even having a special weapon! I kind of feel like we're not supposed to get too close... does he move when it's time for us to hurry up or something? That's the only different-looking generic I could find.

VEonS4n.pngZMRcvj4.png

Our big bad boss of today, Steve! He has a statbooster, and he looks like he has some dangerous offensive stats... EnderSlicer could probably take him down, though. Throne or no throne! Get ready to lose, Steve! We're coming for you!

NEXT TIME! Bumps in our road to the truth!

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I'd like to apologize the first post above is formatted so oddly, it was not intended to look like that. The main update is not supposed to be two spoilers deep, and the level map isn't supposed to look how it does. I'll figure it out eventually, but right now, I get an error message whenever I try to edit it back into shape. So bear with me until I can fix it properly.

 

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Yay you're posting again hip hip!

What took so long though?

Eh whatevs this means you can finish those glass levels in Gheb FE or play Gheb Saga. (Or tacthack maybe but probably not)

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Red = My replies

Blue = Moniker's commentary

EEEEEEE~

It begins again!

Also, don't think this'll be the last hack I make. I've been on a productivity streak lately, and I'm already working on what I'll call a remake of Super Hard Lyn Mode. Out of inspiration, I even made a brand spankin' new player phase theme for it.

And now... For the coveted developer's commentary.

jxnhSQn.png

*checks in-jokes folder*

Uhh... I got nothing.

No in joke here. This is just the kind of shit EvilEggoWaffle would say.

tg9jJee.png

Mark: The damage is already done.

Nonsense! If you don't know what the real Marc's Precious is, then you can just make up what it is and tell yourself it's that!

But I wanna know what FdRStar thinks my precious is! :V

Markyjoe is the middle sibling, and also clearly the most successful, since he has a youtube channel.

Well. Funny you say that. EvilEggoWaffle and I frequently debate on who is the more successful between us. He thinks he is because he has a well paying job, a wife, and he's soon going to have his own house. I think I'm more successful because of my many talents (music, videos, hacking, etc.), my success as a content creator, and the fact that I'm going to be the only one in the immediately family to have a bachelor's degree.

As much as I'd like to have my own house and maybe a girlfriend, the flipside is that EvilEggoWaffle does not seem to have any big dreams or ambitions, and is heavily dependant on me to get creative projects done. For example...

STS80TL.png

EEW: I suck at Fire Emblem.

I think EEW barely even plays Fire Emblem. Did EEW help with the hack's writing? No, he probably had a hard time typing with those skinny waffle arms...

... you guessed here that EEW probably didn't help with much of the writing. Believe it or not, this entire hack was his vision, and he did most of the writing. As for me, I did literally everything else, and that includes adding in some writing of my own, and editing his writing to be less in-jokey so you don't need a fuckin' MarkyJoe Encyclopedia to understand what the hell is going on.

You know, I was kind of expecting us to negotiate or something.

Pssh! Who the fuck does that? Diplomacy. HAH! Only wimps do that!

TheMoniker's Tier list for Marc's Precious: Revenge, and my replies. SPOILER ALERT.

Spoiler

 

#1 - EnderSlicer

#2 - Guy

#3 - MarkyJoe

#4 - EvilEggoWaffle

#5 - Dufur

#6 - Yossy

Hmmm... I think the general consensus is that EnderSlicer or MarkyJoe are the best units in the game, and Yossy is the worst. Dufur is hard to measure because he can't fight very well, but can use physic (and other staves), which makes him the best healer in the game. However, MarkyJoe is a serviceable healer, so it begs the question if Dufur's role is really all that valuable.

Dufur gets access to more staves later, and some of them are pretty powerful, but doing so requires you to skip out on other items such as the Brave Bow/Brave Sword... So unless we get some kind of LTC going, I don't think we'll truly know how good Dufur is. For all we know, he could be the true best character in the game.

I also think people underestimate Yossy and the value of 8 MOV + Canto too much. His stats suck, but given that he can fix your mistakes with rescue + canto, and can ferry units over long distances for LTC strats, I feel like he can be very helpful. He is especially useful in chapter 2 for these reasons.

Lastly, I find it interesting how EvilEggoWaffle has the best overall stats, but is strangely kinda mediocre. Best HP, best Strength, tied with Yossy for best defense, and third fastest. That's usually a recipe for butt kicking. I blame the enemy stat thresholds for his underperforming, since some enemies are just fast enough that he can't double, or just bulky enough for him to not be able to one-round KO.

 

So, wait, hmmm... You could've sent him an e-mail, but never did... and you also lost contact with him entirely? This guy appearing suddenly feels a bit... weird. I feel like we're missing a piece of the story, here.

Is the only reason Dufur's helping us is to bug us about sending the email? Is the only reason Dufur heals us is that we can't send him the e-mail if we're dead? Wait... what if the reason he's accompanying us is because he died IRL, and now he's a ghost, but he can't move on because he has unfinished business... AND THE E-MAIL IS THE UNFINISHED BUSINESS?

I'll leave it up to that wild imagination of yours. Much more entertaining that way.

Looking at my in-jokes folder, that's... everything, actually! Looks like we'll be without guidance when trying to understand the rest of the jokes in this hack.

EvilEggoWaffle was very eager to make a reference to everything we've ever done. I felt it was more important that the jokes stand on their own merits, so I generally discouraged him from doing it too much, and I had to rewrite some of his dialogue so that it would have a broader audience. Though, some references failed to make it in just cause we didn't have a good spot to put it or I was lazy.

CcK3z6M.png8N0VQuL.pngmCqwt3D.png
He's stronger than the other GAMFs, with a crazy inventory, even having a special weapon! I kind of feel like we're not supposed to get too close... does he move when it's time for us to hurry up or something? That's the only different-looking generic I could find.

He's just there as a counter measure against certain camping strats. Without him, Avraxas (creator of Tales of Purt and Heirs of Rage) was able to get into that bottom left corner and cheese the entire chapter.

And thus ends the first developer's commentary in a while!

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Oh nice to see you're back again... even if it might be only for this project.

I noticed this hack... and it looked weird in an interesting way. So I'm really looking forward to this.


An update happened to this forum about a year ago which affected several browsers in a bad way. Some features are disabled or don't work anymore as they should do. Chrome can't handle these captchas, which means you can't save any edits. Internet Explorer works.
Also source text was removed.
 

Edited by 豊聡耳 神子

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On 2/10/2018 at 4:11 PM, Pengaius said:

Yay you're posting again hip hip!

What took so long though?

Eh whatevs this means you can finish those glass levels in Gheb FE or play Gheb Saga. (Or tacthack maybe but probably not)

Oh no, I have no interest in returning to Gheb! I've just come back to play this hack, however long it may be. Or the possible remade Super Hard Lyn Mode. Maybe.

On 2/10/2018 at 5:26 PM, MarkyJoe1990 said:

Red = My replies

Blue = Moniker's commentary

Obscene Green: Response to the response

EEEEEEE~

It begins again!

Also, don't think this'll be the last hack I make. I've been on a productivity streak lately, and I'm already working on what I'll call a remake of Super Hard Lyn Mode. Out of inspiration, I even made a brand spankin' new player phase theme for it.

 

A delightful tune!

And now... For the coveted developer's commentary.

jxnhSQn.png

*checks in-jokes folder*

Uhh... I got nothing.

No in joke here. This is just the kind of shit EvilEggoWaffle would say.

tg9jJee.png

Mark: The damage is already done.

Nonsense! If you don't know what the real Marc's Precious is, then you can just make up what it is and tell yourself it's that!

But I wanna know what FdRStar thinks my precious is! :V

If you make up an FdRStar, who then tells you what Marc's Precious is, is it still made up? Hmm.

Markyjoe is the middle sibling, and also clearly the most successful, since he has a youtube channel.

Well. Funny you say that. EvilEggoWaffle and I frequently debate on who is the more successful between us. He thinks he is because he has a well paying job, a wife, and he's soon going to have his own house. I think I'm more successful because of my many talents (music, videos, hacking, etc.), my success as a content creator, and the fact that I'm going to be the only one in the immediately family to have a bachelor's degree.

Markyjoe, just repeat "youtube channel" over and over, and you'll win all the debates. If it isn't working, count all your likes, and ask if he can get that many likes. Can his wife and house and job give him as many youtube likes as you have? No. They can only give him one like each, tops. You are the clear victor.

As much as I'd like to have my own house and maybe a girlfriend, the flipside is that EvilEggoWaffle does not seem to have any big dreams or ambitions, and is heavily dependant on me to get creative projects done. For example...

STS80TL.png

EEW: I suck at Fire Emblem.

I think EEW barely even plays Fire Emblem. Did EEW help with the hack's writing? No, he probably had a hard time typing with those skinny waffle arms...

... you guessed here that EEW probably didn't help with much of the writing. Believe it or not, this entire hack was his vision, and he did most of the writing. As for me, I did literally everything else, and that includes adding in some writing of my own, and editing his writing to be less in-jokey so you don't need a fuckin' MarkyJoe Encyclopedia to understand what the hell is going on.

Huh! ... So, did you ruin a lot of keyboard with all the syrup he's apparently coated in?

On 2/10/2018 at 5:26 PM, MarkyJoe1990 said:

You know, I was kind of expecting us to negotiate or something.

Pssh! Who the fuck does that? Diplomacy. HAH! Only wimps do that!

TheMoniker's Tier list for Marc's Precious: Revenge, and my replies. SPOILER ALERT.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

#1 - EnderSlicer

#2 - Guy

#3 - MarkyJoe

#4 - EvilEggoWaffle

#5 - Dufur

#6 - Yossy

Hmmm... I think the general consensus is that EnderSlicer or MarkyJoe are the best units in the game, and Yossy is the worst. Dufur is hard to measure because he can't fight very well, but can use physic (and other staves), which makes him the best healer in the game. However, MarkyJoe is a serviceable healer, so it begs the question if Dufur's role is really all that valuable.

Dufur gets access to more staves later, and some of them are pretty powerful, but doing so requires you to skip out on other items such as the Brave Bow/Brave Sword... So unless we get some kind of LTC going, I don't think we'll truly know how good Dufur is. For all we know, he could be the true best character in the game.

I also think people underestimate Yossy and the value of 8 MOV + Canto too much. His stats suck, but given that he can fix your mistakes with rescue + canto, and can ferry units over long distances for LTC strats, I feel like he can be very helpful. He is especially useful in chapter 2 for these reasons.

Lastly, I find it interesting how EvilEggoWaffle has the best overall stats, but is strangely kinda mediocre. Best HP, best Strength, tied with Yossy for best defense, and third fastest. That's usually a recipe for butt kicking. I blame the enemy stat thresholds for his underperforming, since some enemies are just fast enough that he can't double, or just bulky enough for him to not be able to one-round KO.

 

I can't respond to these in the quote because I can't open your spoiler in the quote. Again, still learning what to do and not do to not horribly ruin the formatting on these... this forum is no longer very screenshot let's player friendly!

So, wait, hmmm... You could've sent him an e-mail, but never did... and you also lost contact with him entirely? This guy appearing suddenly feels a bit... weird. I feel like we're missing a piece of the story, here.

Is the only reason Dufur's helping us is to bug us about sending the email? Is the only reason Dufur heals us is that we can't send him the e-mail if we're dead? Wait... what if the reason he's accompanying us is because he died IRL, and now he's a ghost, but he can't move on because he has unfinished business... AND THE E-MAIL IS THE UNFINISHED BUSINESS?

I'll leave it up to that wild imagination of yours. Much more entertaining that way.

Looking at my in-jokes folder, that's... everything, actually! Looks like we'll be without guidance when trying to understand the rest of the jokes in this hack.

EvilEggoWaffle was very eager to make a reference to everything we've ever done. I felt it was more important that the jokes stand on their own merits, so I generally discouraged him from doing it too much, and I had to rewrite some of his dialogue so that it would have a broader audience. Though, some references failed to make it in just cause we didn't have a good spot to put it or I was lazy.

CcK3z6M.png8N0VQuL.pngmCqwt3D.png
He's stronger than the other GAMFs, with a crazy inventory, even having a special weapon! I kind of feel like we're not supposed to get too close... does he move when it's time for us to hurry up or something? That's the only different-looking generic I could find.

He's just there as a counter measure against certain camping strats. Without him, Avraxas (creator of Tales of Purt and Heirs of Rage) was able to get into that bottom left corner and cheese the entire chapter.

Wait, so the reinforcements we'll deal with later... DO end eventually?

And thus ends the first developer's commentary in a while!

 

On 2/11/2018 at 5:45 AM, 豊聡耳 神子 said:

Oh nice to see you're back again... even if it might be only for this project.

I noticed this hack... and it looked weird in an interesting way. So I'm really looking forward to this.


An update happened to this forum about a year ago which affected several browsers in a bad way. Some features are disabled or don't work anymore as they should do. Chrome can't handle these captchas, which means you can't save any edits. Internet Explorer works.
Also source text was removed.
 

Thanks for the advice. On that note...

I tried a BUNCH of different browsers, and none of them let me edit my post normally. So, the unfortunate result is that I can't edit my posts after they're posted. I'll just have to get it right the first time... every time! With that being said, that map that isn't complete and I can't edit is just UGLY. So I tried my hand at fixing it here:

XtNWJ5r.pngr5hV6VJ.png?1
SEnDsfY.pngEzLOwN1.png?1

THERE we go! Now, all you people dying of curiosity about the map can have that curiosity sated!

 

It's brush off the dust and rust in...

The Moniker plays Marc's Precious: Episode 1: Traveling along the Road of Destiny REALLY FAST

YCZxVv6.png

First thing's first, more talking! EEW and Marc have a talk together.

kScTVnL.png9iJ1XL3.png

EEW: Eh… I don’t like it! Where are the half naked guys hitting each other with chairs?

...Wait, this has me overthinking things again. Did Mark and EEW and the rest teleport themselves inside a Fire Emblem game to get to FdRstar's castle? Is this... what? What?

Marc: This is not a wrestling game, EEW.

EEW: Okay. Well, are there at least crates to break?

Marc: … That’s Crash Bandicoot.

EEW: WAIT! Are there mushrooms? Please tell me there are mushrooms! I wanna get BIG!

8lpiR8U.png

Marc: They’re fucking everywhere. In fact, I highly encourage you to eat some of them.

EEW: …You’re kidding, right? I hear sarcasm in your voice.

Marc: YES, I’M KIDDING!

5mECSt5.pngz7p5ehh.png

I mean... mushrooms in Fire Emblem sound cool. Fates should have had it as a dragonvein mechanic.

zhJcyGp.png

First turn, I position myself at the very center. The enemies all come up and surround me. Now, we can split up and take them all on!

jd0pbEa.pngQBYcpdV.png

Reinforcements come up... brigands? Gah! We have to save villages! I figured there would be a time limit!

0tYH4bR.png

Enderslicer is so great, he can one-round these snipers, by hitting hard and doubling well.7QGuW9A.png

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GAH! I accidentally double-tapped Ctrl or... SOMETHING... and messed up the last post. And it won't let me edit it. Okay, here's the REAL, FULL update.

YCZxVv6.png

First thing's first, more talking! EEW and Marc have a talk together.

kScTVnL.png9iJ1XL3.png

EEW: Eh… I don’t like it! Where are the half naked guys hitting each other with chairs?

...Wait, this has me overthinking things again. Did Mark and EEW and the rest teleport themselves inside a Fire Emblem game to get to FdRstar's castle? Is this... what? What?

Marc: This is not a wrestling game, EEW.

EEW: Okay. Well, are there at least crates to break?

Marc: … That’s Crash Bandicoot.

EEW: WAIT! Are there mushrooms? Please tell me there are mushrooms! I wanna get BIG!

8lpiR8U.png

Marc: They’re fucking everywhere. In fact, I highly encourage you to eat some of them.

EEW: …You’re kidding, right? I hear sarcasm in your voice.

Marc: YES, I’M KIDDING!

5mECSt5.pngz7p5ehh.png

I mean... mushrooms in Fire Emblem sound cool. Fates should have had it as a dragonvein mechanic.

zhJcyGp.png

First turn, I position myself at the very center. The enemies all come up and surround me. Now, we can split up and take them all on!

jd0pbEa.pngQBYcpdV.png

Reinforcements come up... brigands? Gah! We have to save villages! I figured there would be a time limit!

0tYH4bR.png

Enderslicer is so great, he can one-round these snipers, by hitting hard and doubling well.

7QGuW9A.pnguPpbipc.png

Together, they do JUST ENOUGH to take down the general. Was that planned? Probably.

HJh85HV.png

See, look at these incredibly low damage numbers. In a straight up fight, regardless of the enemy, Yossy almost always loses. That's why I say he's bad.

LYr7rzW.png

This is a problem! Most of my units can't take a hit from a General and the Great Knight...

zntOXkl.png

But maybe from just the Great Knight! Go, Dufu-

4VbS51u.png

-ACK! Killed in ONE HIT? 

Well, that's what 24 HP and 4 DEF gets you. This isn't the last time Dufur's extremely low durability will come and haunt us.

1MILuZw.pngZMxbD2Q.png

I try to rearrange a bit, but it results in Yossy getting destroyed, and then Guy gets one-kit-murdered as well. Hmm...

gaGWSe2.pngATidbqa.png

Okay, let's try a new and riskier plan. Enderslicer takes on the general - I was banking on a crit, and it worked!

krdV3Eq.png

EEW gets utterly destroyed by the Heroslayer - unless he destroys them first!

QI85EQq.pngUxYmXWY.png

Perfect! We made it through! Let's keep right on rolling!

1lxt62d.png

Oh no. I need that bandit dead so I can get my prize... but how?

WSjzD5A.pngK3Xl0MS.png

My only choice is to hope EnderSlicer is an appealing enough target for that village-crushing loser. Unfortunately, his engagement with the shaman goes about as poorly as one could expect.

qJHupiR.png

Up until this moment, my past self thought the Berserker was coming for me. It is at this point that I experienced a cold realization: He's going for the village and nobody I have is even CLOSE!

YNeZtRk.png

I tossed a Physic his way so he didn't die... but that doesn't mean I can't be mad about it!

LW28mpz.png

Well, that does make me feel a little better...

As1DhNP.png

We only have 1 more turn! How am I supposed to stop him!? The map might not be huge, but there's so much to do, and so little time...

mWhHhuW.png

Let's at least accomplish one of our side objectives...

TmHPnDE.png

Enderslicer: Aww… enderthlicer.

Custom dialogue for the villages? I wonder what the others would have said...

GkyxKNa.png

White Gem! Yes! This gives us a good amount of spending money for our shops! I am very happy.

Wait... if this village has a White Gem, which is an incredibly important resource that we need to buy from shops... that means we need to save the other village, too! What if it has something even MORE important?

Vr0RMYx.png

All I can do is pray for him to go for Yossy. As a paladin, they were the only one who could make it in time!

kk1cYzv.png

Yes! Ha-HA!

IRn0N6Q.png

GAH!

That was WAY too risky! The good news is, we've beaten most of the enemies now, so things should lighten up a bit.

p5x2yR7.pngx8x46c6.pngQy8eNXI.png

WRONG. Two siege tomes from the top! Four cavs from both sides on the bottom! I guess these guys are here to goad us into speeding up...

M5Ja0xm.png

He needs to die for me to win... but, while EnderSlicer COULD win here, there's just too much luck involved! I need another turn!

9qi5QI8.png

Yossy sprints away from the Brigand to take out one of the Purge enemies. Hopefully, he'll be okay.

Aiw4BWO.pngucI6pf2.png

Meanwhile, my other units have some spare time! Let's take a look at what he have in the shops!

BqkecJ7.png78bvVtj.png80pKnxi.png

The shops have a full and excellent inventory. Now, what should I do here? Try to guess what my past self did:

A: Better outfit some of my weaker units with proper weaponry to replace their iron/steel items

B: Spend almost all of it on some of the ultra-expensive brave items or special staves, to have a superweapon/panic button.

C: Spend only a handful of cash very conservatively, just in case I might need more money later.

I pick option C, with only a few purchases. I will proceed to regret this in the future.

4OBZNuM.png

While trying to figure out how to deal with the Berserker, I realize I can do this. It's simply too perfect NOT to do.

eD2NW7o.png5SSNlb9.png

You know, it's not often I get to use tools as versatile as the bolting tome. I feel like I'm playing Endgame FE and it's still the first chapter!

NznldWo.png

Yossy dodged.

This isn't the last time my strategies will only work due to crazy amounts of luck. Granted, most of my units can only take 1-2 hits before dying, and most of the enemies have hit chances in the 40-60 range. So its only natural, really.

JEPJg0m.png

So, we've survived another turn! A new wave of horsemen is approaching rapidly from the bottom. However, Yossy is next to that fort on top of the map, and is too far away to make it to the village this turn! We'll have to make it just one more turn before we can end this.

(Offscreen, Guy ends the second Purge monk.)

B5uqZXS.png

Yossy! Stampede into the village! Now, instead of the bandits robbing them, WE will rob them!

Ow1mu11.png

Dude: Thanks for warning us of the battle outside. I was too busy counting birds to notice.

EDAgABa.png

Yossy can TALK? Incredible!

Dude: I just said why.

Yossi: Fair point.

Dude: Is that all? I mean. Did you want something for your efforts?

Sg9fhmO.png

Dude, we just saved you from people trying to rob you! Now give us all your stuff or we'll burn this place to the ground!

Dude: Well. You’re kinda mean, but lemme go check the toolshed.

sj05W33.png

Dude: Ah! Here we are!

VCbOmqn.png

Dude: You can have it. I think it resists magic or something?

GEE, THANKS. Giving us your extra table legs! I feel so much gratitude flowing from you!

fB38xEa.png6wbAKV7.png

We get a DEFLECT SWD! Remember, the one that the general up there was using? (They didn't move, just as I said they wouldn't.).

Remember, the Deflect Swd gives an extra 7 Res. However, it comes with a few downsides. Namely, it only has 10 uses, and there also aren't a ton of magic enemies in this hack. So it's mainly useful for fighting bosses, who tend to be be packing magic. Of course, we can't use it against Sage Steve up there because we have to HUSTLE! We're on a strict time limit here!

341pvW9.pngHkunWPR.png

Barrier, and now it's time! Enderslicer can take the hit when Steve attacks, and all he needs to do is crit once! Go, Enderslicer!

UVlZdl1.pngQeimKdH.pngAltkv28.png

No, WE'LL do YOUR mom, or we would, but you look like the kind of guy who doesn't HAVE a mom! Your parents adopted you, and didn't love you! Your critical anxiety and mental problems causes by this resulted in you joining the army of the clearly insane GAMFs, and so you're evil! Your life is a mess! And now it's over! So YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!

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Dead Steve: No matter. I’m sure there’s plenty of moms in hell to bang! Really, I should be thanking you. So thanks. 

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Enderslicer gets a bad level and a statbooster. Delightful!

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EEW: Shitty.

I feel you, Evil Eggo Waffle! Hopefully, the next chapter will be a bit simpler!

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EEW: Indeed, Dylan. Oreos ARE the best cookie.

Marc: EEW, focus!

EEW: Right. So what’s the plan, Marc?

Marc: What do you mean?           

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Well, I mean, since all our diplomatic options that we didn't take didn't work...

EEW: I like it! Not too complicated, with just the right amount of murder.

Marc: Sooo, all set then?

EEW: Uhh, not yet. This is the final battle, right?

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EEW: Want some?

Marc: Aunt Jemima?

EEW: You bet your sweet ass it is!

Marc: Awesome, hook me up.

Wait, wait, hang on... so... EEW coats himself in syrup? Is he... man or is he... food?

Like, okay. Markyjoe and his big brother get caught in a plane crash and stranded on the mountain. They don't know when they'll be rescued. Days pass, and Markyjoe's hunger gnaws at him. And in the cave with him... is a warm, syrupy, Eggo brand waffle...

I'm just saying... what would YOU do in that situation? I know what I'D do.

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NEXT TIME: The hack fights back, its first chapter just a mere prelude.

So, I kind of feel like making a guess as to what Marc's Precious is... let's say I get one per update! And I have to stop once I actually beat the hack. Currently I've only recorded a ways into the next chapter, so I'm good to guess. I think Marc's Precious could be...

1: The friends we made along the way

2: Actually nothing

I'll make a third guess next update.

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Okay, let's not post too early again in...

The CHAPTER 2 PRELUDE!

 

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Last time, we beat up everyone outside the castle. Now, we're going to beat up everyone INSIDE the castle!

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FDRstar: This is not what I anticipated.

Tongue man: Perhaps we shouldn’t have put the entire kingdom’s defenses in the hands of sexually confused incest lovers.

FDRstar: Ass Face Jeremy, you always have a way of saying the least helpful shit imaginable.

Jeremy: Well… my face is plastered to my ass.

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So this guy is eloquent, despite his physical condition? I mean, someone who looks like that isn't someone you expect to say "henceforth".

FDRstar: …Was that a poop joke?

Jeremy: I believe so, sire.

FDRstar: Haha, that was funny.

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This Fdrstar guy seems pretty crazy! Which makes sense, since I have my doubts that he's even human. He has some non-human characteristics, like that RIDICULOUSLY long neck!

FDRstar: We must device a plan. And quickly!

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FDRstar: How obtuse! Speak not of such blasphemy, lest it be your head! …Or your ass. I guess it’s both.

Jeremy: But, sire! What else can we do? Sending more GAMFs would surely be nothing short of stupidi—

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Man. Fdrstar is just as guilty as our "heroes" of skipping the negotiation route, isn't he? I guess it works out better that way. Less moral qualms.

Jeremy: But, sire! This will not—

FDRstar: I SAID PRONTO!!

Jeremy: Y-yes. Of course, sire.

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(HINT: THIS IS FORESHADOWING)

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Marc: I probably shouldn’t have eaten those spicy boneless wings before coming here.

EEW: Ah, for fuck’s sake, Marc! You couldn’t hold it in for another hour?

Marc: Nope. Fuck that. I need to get that shit out of my system.

EEW: You know, you’re such a bag of assholes!

Marc: “Bag of assholes”? Interesting. So… they’re holes… contained within a bag. How does that work?

EEW: Perfectly.

That's a bad insult! I'd better not write it down.

Marc: …In any case.

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Since you two already created this hack, it's too late for that.

Marc: Stay focused, alri-

EEW: Got it.

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And we're thrust into a prep screen! We actually get one! But wait, does this mean-

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Oh, good. We can deploy our whole army. I was worried for a minute there.

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FE8's convoy provides an interesting feature, you can buy basic items at marked-up prices in the event of an emergency. I don't make any use of it, but it's here for me to spend any gold I have on.

Now, at this point in time, I've finished the whole hack - and it's only 2 chapters long. I was operating under the assumption that it would last at least 3 maps for most of it, hence why I was conservative with my money when I didn't need to be. Again, we'll be paying for it this chapter - with things that AREN'T money!

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Who else would get this?

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I check all the support ranks, just in case. Didn't see anything anywhere.

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And here's our positions! Looks like we're surrounded right from the start. Now, what kind of map are we looking at?

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Again, it's not a terribly large map. Just looking at it, it appears we'll be clearing out the enemies immediately around us as fast as possible, then shoving through the hallway and passing the general blockade, then continuing to move forward through the doors while contending with any reinforcements that might charge us. The goal is to make it to the boss before things get too hot to handle.

...Or... that's the INTENDED way to do it, at least...

Now, let's take a closer look at the fools we're facing.

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First, FdRStar themselves! He's pretty intimidating, with a good statline, a throne, and a Runesword with which to regain health. He isn't so imposing that he makes me doubt we can beat him, thought. I wonder how Enderslicer does against him?

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Jeremy is more balanced than Fdrstar, but also less tanky and without a throne. We'll probably want to take him down first. The last conversation was kind of hinting at recruitment, but there's no such option as far as I could tell - this is further indicated by his droppable Armorslayer, which is kind of clever. The guy standing a short ways behind the boss helps you beat the boss by dropping a boss-killing weapons! And of course, if we DON'T kill him we'll have to contend with the Physic on top of the natural throne healing...

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Here's his mini sprite.

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The only droppable item is a Door key, which we can use on one of the doors restricting our access to some of the map. Of course, as we'll see, the Doors are the least of our problems.

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You'll notice we have 2 bunches of 3 soldiers - they might look weak, but I can't underestimate them! They have Silver Lances and Short Spears, and will happily dogpile my units to death, however weak they might be in every non-STR stat!

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Aside from that, most of the enemies are normal. Also, there's a Purge monk helping to defend the major chokepoint at the bottom of the map.

And so, that's all for now! I can't give any more Marc's Precious guesses because I've beaten the hack and I know what it is. It's... not what any of us ever expected...

 

NEXT TIME: The final fight begins! Our first run, at least.

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The Moniker Plays Marc's Precious: Episode 2: Part 1: Between a hard place, another hard place, and a third hard place

 

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Okay, first turn strategy: First, I do everything I can to clear out the way immediately to my left. Then, Yossy and Enderslicer will take on the soldiers and berserker. This should keep us moving at a decent clip.

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Ack! Close call!

It's just like what I said before! You think you can underestimate these soldiers, but they'll dogpile you and take down if you aren't careful... I thought a lance-equipped Yossy could deal with them, but Yossy was lucky to survive!

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Hmm... looks like there's some advancing foes ahead. I can't move EEW too far ahead or he'll risk dying, too!

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For this turn, we take a second to recover.

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Ow! EEW isn't that great at dodging these guys, and despite being the only truly traditionally tanky member of the squad, he can't take more than 2 hits from most thing. Dufur, meanwhile, scrapes his way on by the skin of his teeth. The good news is, he deals counterattack damage to the GAMF, so that hero should be dead soon.

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Wha- HEY! NO!

Of course. Markyjoe's put a Physic druid for us to contend with, hiding in the upper area of the map, past a general and all the other stuff. This slows us down, but we need to keep moving before-

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No! Come on! What do you mean, the reinforcements from the back have started already? And they're Great Knights, too... how can we keep ahead of them? I'm not sure we can...

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Normally, this Druid would be hard for us to get to, since they're past the General. However, Guy can deal with him adequately, he just needs 2 turns where he's free to focus him down.

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Speaking of the General, the reason why his name is capitalized is because this guy is a MAJOR barrier. He slows you down by a ton! I need to get Markyjoe over there, I'm not sure EEW can win alone!

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Dufur helps chip the general and gains an alright level, but as you can see, loses almost all his HP in the process.

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EEW suddenly pulls out some champ-level dodges, while also simultaneously displaying why the General can be such an intimidating obstacle; trying to engage him at 1 range puts you at risk from the general themselves, and a Purge monk, AND a shaman! You almost need to hit him at 2-range, since that puts you out of the Shaman's range!

The good news? The General is almost out of HP! Defeating them now will just take another hit or two.

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...Never mind.

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EEW uses his Hand Axe to double and kill the Druid, earning himself some more stats. Dufur patches him up, and he's ready to contend with the general again!

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The situation in the back, however, has gotten much worse. I'm retreating into the hallway as fast as I can, but the enemies are keeping pace with me - and now we have berserkers to deal with, too! It is with much regret that I must have Guy retreat as well - had I but one more turn, the Physic spamming witch could be defeated! But trying to keep Guy where is puts him and anyone who tries to protect him in too much danger!

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So, I pull everyone back. We're going to wall off our back line using the 2-wide lower hallway, and hopefully, we'll be able to stave them off while simultaneously pushing our front line forwards.

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On enemy phase, Yossy proves himself again to be something of a liability, and our actual constructive efforts are rapidly undone. The Druid has a very high MAG stat and so pretty much always heals his targets back to full!

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In addition to the regular Great Knights, which are in a position to pile up rapidly, we ALSO get reinforcements from the other side of the map: A berserker, a Hero, and a Warrior! The berserker isn't a problem with the likes of Enderslicer around, but the Heroes are difficult to kill, and the Warrior has a bow to strike at 2-range! And worse yet, once they start advancing, I'll be completely caught between the Great Knights pounding from behind, and the Warriors/Heroes/Berserkers pounding me from the front! What am I supposed to do?

This sudden increase in reinforcements has me immensely worried! Did I go to slow? Is the window for my victory closing? I thought I was moving at a decent clip! Maybe not god-tier LTC level, but I certainly wasn't being slow!

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EEW has to pull back and help on the back lines. I don't have any healers available, and he can't take a hit from both the general and the Purge monk.

Look at the above picture. See any flaws?

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That's right, I tried to use Markyjoe as a frontline tank, expecting him to dodge or something like a fool! Even with the angelic robe, he can't survive more than 2 rounds of combat!

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Marc: Eh, my life was alright. But fuck man, this intestinal damage… I wish I’d just die already cause holy fuck… this hurts!

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EEW: We don’t need to know your every thought you masterpiece of shit.

Marc: Alright, fiiiine. Jeez. HHRK!!

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Hilarious. I get the impression that EEW only said the last lines out of thematic obligation to be sad.

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Dufur proves he has a hidden power: Taking Purge hits!

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Enderslicer also proves his Door has a hidden power: Taking hits at 2 range means he doesn't use any of his Doors 5 uses! Thanks to him closing the door on the enemy's ability to kill us, we live another turn.

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The next turn rolls around, but it looks like things have gotten worse, not better! The reinforcements from the top have succesfully maneuvered to prevent us from escaping the hallway and moving forward in the level - and the general is still alive, as well! And there's more coming in from the back and front! And the Druid is still alive! Gah!

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I do find a way to make at least ONE positive thing happen, thanks to Guy. Granted, he was almost out of uses anyways, but I'll take any good news I can get at this point!

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I need to use pretty much every unit I have just making sure the mounds of enemies at our back don't break through! What am I going to do when the enemies from the front get here!?

(Again, spot the flaw in my planning here!)

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I think... I think my heart just stopped for a second...

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Enderslicer gets a level. He needs everything he can get right now!

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EEW, meanwhile, uses his tank status to BARELY scrape through.

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Once again, the next turn rolls around. Once again, things get even worse. The good news is, the Great Knights and Berserkers from the back really did stop, but there's still tons alive, and what's more, the Berserkers and Heroes and Warriors just keep pouring in. There's no more time - they've reached us now, and we're officially fighting from two ends. The Druid is still around spamming healing, AND a Thief has shown up to accomplish some kind of purpose!

It's... it's too much! I try messing around for a little while, and I don't foresee any way to make it out of this. Even if I managed to survive another turn, and then another, each one would be more worse and crazy and impossible than the last. There's tons of enemies in the back, tons in front, hitting us from both ends, and... wait... hmmm...

I don't like to do this, but I don't see any other choice.

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RESET! Let's do this again. BUT BETTER THIS TIME!

First, we're going to do some experimentation.

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Said experimentation gives me time to look at an EEW/Markyjoe talk. I didn't have any time to spare on that before!

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EEW: I’m hungry.

Marc: Seriously, dude? There’s people trying to kill us right now!

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Marc: … Jalapeno cheesy bread?

EEW: I have a coupon for that.

Marc: Oh fuck yeah. Get that shit!

Does this mean in a few turns, an NPC delivery person will show up and epicly fight off the entire army just to deliver Dominos to us?

...Please?

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I PLANNED to use Yossy to help lure out the Berserkers and soldiers. The plan failed.

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EEW: YOSSY! NO! Wait. This means no more hard as balls Mario levels. Still sad tho.

 

Alright, this is a good place to stop for right now. Next time, I will explain my plan and show you the FULL second run!

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Time to complete our journey in...

The Moniker Plays Marc's Precious Episode 2: Part 2: March of the GAMFs

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Alright, while you enjoy this RNG, quick reminder about what went down last attempt. We tried to fight our way through like normal, only to find ourselves cornered and beset upon by both sides!

And in doing so, we learned something important: That there's no way we can defend both our back and front lines at once!

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And so, we begin to enact: THE PLAN.

It's simple. We hang out at the start of the level, and stop the waves of Berserkers and Great Knights as they come. THEN, when the Berserkers and Heroes and Warriors approach, we'll ONLY have them to deal with - meaning, we'll only need to defend from one advancing army at a time!

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REVENGE! SWEET, SWEET REVENGE! This guy being dead already has me feeling like our chances of success are ten times better.

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Enderslicer proves his dodging prowess, and now the reinforcements have begun in earnest. It gets harder from here, but we can do it!

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Enderslicer and Yossy continue to prove to me why they are where they are on my personal tier list.

We get a LOT of levels over the following 50-60 screenshots, so I'm not going to show every single one in the interests of time.

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There, now Guy is safe!

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Ack! Enderslicer still needs some help keeping himself safe!

See, those Great Knights that come each turn, out of the two of them, there's always one axe wielder and one lance wielder. This makes it really hard to appropriately counter them!]

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At this point, I discover that blocking the reinforcements IS an option on the table; this Great Knight here helpfully prevented one of his own comrades from entering!

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This is me, having Enderslicer attack with the Shamshir and then using Trade powers to make sure he has the Door on enemy phase. Look at Markyjoe, playing with his brother!

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My obscene luck at last runs dry, and Yossy proves unable to dodge 2 out of 3 ~50 hits chances. Looks like we'll need to kill a few more on the next try.

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Alright, here we go. Yossy pulls back, and I kill another Great Knight from afar while using the pillar to protect Enderslicer.

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BAM! I think I have 3 left.

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So here's about how the situation's looking. In terms of Turns, we're about how far along we were at the end of last run, but the situation is very different. We haven't moved up quite as far, but we just about have the starting room cleared, and the reinforcements have stopped as well. Soon, we'll need to turn our attention to dealing with the reinforcements from further up ahead.

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Also, I didn't show this last time, but there's a big reinforcements wave from right next to the boss at around this point. They will happily join in the charge against us.

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Gah! Man, I wish Yossy just had a BIT more HP or defense... Then they wouldn't die in 2 hits!

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Okay, we'll wall the- crap, made the wall 1 space further back than I should have.

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Guy wasn't even the one who died. AGAIN I make the mistake of using Markyjoe as a frontline fighter!

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Better.

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Okay, we have them properly walled in, the things are still a bit of a mess. We only have to fight them on one side, but PHEW BOY are there a lot of them!

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EEW: Oh. He’s dead. Nevermind.

At some point, Dufur got one-shot. Pity, he ALMOST finished his unfinished business before going back to the afterlife.

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EEW: When I told you I sucked at Fire Emblem, I… meant it… gugh! I’m dead!

Marc: Eww. There’s syrup everywhere.

EEW: That’s… what SHE sai… sai… ugh… dead for real this time.

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Wait... EEW's blood is... syrup? So he was covering himself in more blood when he put on that coating of Aunt Jemima? And Markyjoe was just happily drinking it up!?

Okay, back to the mountain scenario. After a full week of the two top brothers of the Waffle clan being stuck in a snowy mountain cave with no food or water, Markyjoe is rescued and returns, but EEW is nowhere to be found. Markyjoe tearfully recounts that he lost his brother to the avalanche, but investigators don't find the body. One of the people who picked up Markyjoe notices that on Markyjoe's cheek... there's a bit of sticky syrup...

Is that admissible court evidence?

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Okay, we're getting ready to take them on! From this point onwards, Enderslicer is going to be carrying ALL the weight. He's in position to take attacks from 4 different enemies at once, so I'm relying a lot on his dodge powers!

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...And also on me not having Markyjoe holding the Bolting and reducing his Speed to 0 like an idiot.

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Better!

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If it wasn't crowded before, it is now! At this point, I realize that we're in this for quite the haul. It'll be a good while to get all these guys cleared out.

Alright, serious thoughts on the chapter so far for a minute. This chapter feels kind of... confused. I feel like I don't know what it wants me to do. When I tried moving forward at a decent pace, without making a ton of risks, I was very quickly caught between reinforcement waves from both ends - and we all know how well that went. When I tried to take things a bit slower, things ended up as, well, THIS.

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There's simultaneously a lot pushing you forward and telling you to go faster, but at the same time, there's a lot that slows down your advance and prevents you from going faster as well. Even if I had made it past the general/druid healer blockade early on, I might have just been caught and swarmed as I tried to keep going. On my first run, I didn't really have enough time to adapt.

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It's not that it's a terrible chapter, I just wasn't sure what approach I was meant to take. The first chapter really wanted you to have the gas pedal in "floored" mode the whole time, so maybe a super-duper-speed LTC run would have worked out fine. Maybe not. But either way, this is what we're stuck with.

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Getting back to the actual chapter, the enemy pileup has reached critical mass - granted, while the majority of the reinforcements have stopped, it is slowly being refilled by the berserkers coming from the upper-middle staircase, which show no signs of slowing down. I need to kill the enemies faster than they replenish themselves!

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Bad luck...

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I try again, and THIS time, Enderslicer goes on a crit-powered killing spree, and kills half the berserkers in one turn.

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But then his weapon breaks, and he's left with just the Shamshir - which is also close to breaking!

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Give it over, Yossy! There's no way you can get better use out of it than he can!

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EEW dies to bad luck on another try. Next try, Enderslicer ALMOST dies. That steel sword makes him weak!

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While all that's happening, Guy is providing bow support from the back, and Dufur and Markyjoe are chipping and healing wherever they can. EEW and Enderslicer are the only ones who can hope to survive the kind of pressure they face on the front lines, so they do most of the heavy lifting.

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After a long while, I'm finally starting to make things just a bit clearer- even if the berserkers haven't stopped. I begin to devise a plan to have Yossy stand on the staircase and block them if they actually keep coming forever.

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For the first time in a long time, I can begin to think about moving forward. The Purge monk up there forms an effective deterrent.

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As I said before, this whole debacle had Enderslicer and EEW leveling up. A lot.

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Yossy takes the hit, and Guy takes him out! Now, let's move on!

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And FINALLY, Markyjoe actually gets in the position he needs to be in to take down the general! Man, that's been a long time coming!

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Wait, wha- but we have a convoy! Come on!

I end up loading a state and rearranging inventories so this doesn't happen. Granted, the thief you saw last night already opened all the doors and then ran off the map, so I really didn't end up needing to do that.

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EEW lures out the shaman. You can just assume the dodge is part of my masterful strategy.

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The bout of good news increases - the berserkers actually do stop, right around Turn 20! I was all ready to have Yossy charge up and stand on the staircase, but it looks like that won't be necessary!

Now then, the next major obstacle between us and the boss is...

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...Oh. Nothing, really. Looks like we'll just have to walk all the way to him at this point.

Granted, I chose to go all-in with the turtling, so I don't have many people other than myself to blame.

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This shaman isn't a threat. I imagine he would've been really annoying earlier on, but there's nobody left for him to heal! I should also mention that he had a Restore staff in his inventory, just in case we bought any status staves last chapter.

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A Light Brand, general? Really? Sure, it surprised me, but it's not going to help going up against a Sage. There's a reason why it's better to stick with the tried-and-true javelin!

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I don't see anything else. Let's finish this.

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As my party draws within one turn of movements away from Fdrstar, the game finds within its reaches one last screen to throw up in my way. Now, we COULD pull back and tank these guys out too... BUT... we're so close to Fdrstar! It'd be best to beat him before they make it to us!

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He isn't THAT tough. Given time, Enderslicer could probably beat him hands down if the RNG didn't mess him up.

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But... here's the thing... this guy... What if he has something up his sleeve? What if we can recruit him?

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I move my whole party right up in fdrstar's face. We don't have any more time to spare - whatever happens, it needs to happen this turn!

I try to recruit Ass-Face Jeremy with everyone but EEW, who's one space shy of reaching him. No dice. In that case, we don't have much choice.

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Obliged.

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Jeremy... I sincerely hope for your sake that whatever hell all the GAMFs we just killed went to is different from whatever place you're going.

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I get the Armorslayer, and at this point I should probably make a note on a serious problem afflicting us: We're running out of weapons! All our silver stuff is broke, and most of our special weapons are at about 50% usage. If this hack had a third chapter, we'd be entering it in a pretty sorry shape! Thankfully, it doesn't

And without further ado...

It's time to kill Fdrstar.

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Fdrstar: No matter the outcome, the ending will be… most PRECIOUS.

Marc: The fuck are you talking about?

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Markyjoe deals plenty of damage, but his health gets stolen away from him!

What to do, what to do... we need to end him now!

Wait... that's right... there's one special weapon we haven't used it yet! Now's the time to whip it out! No more holding back!

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EEW: Yeah?

Fdrstar: I intended this to end with Marc and I crossing swords! But you came with him and threw a wrench in my plans! What drove you to accompany him?

EEW: Because that ending sucked BALLS! Besides…

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EEW: That’s when all fucks stop being given.

*sniff* Awww...

(This is going to look really bad next update)

Fdrstar: Touching. Truly. But it’s not over yet! My plan can still succeed!

EEW: No.

Now, EEW's weapon has a *special* animation. In the name of decency I won't show the whole thing, just this:

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Dead.

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And we've done it. The chapter is complete! COMPLETE!

NEXT TIME: Marc's Precious.

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CONCLUSION: The Finding of the Precious:

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Are we implying that this guy at any point actually had reign over anyone?

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Yeah, I'm happy that somebody FINALLY tried the diplomacy route, but it does seem a bit late for it!

Marc: And because of that, I got my ass dragged all the way out here! I’m so fucking sick and tired of this shit, and I’m ready to end it!

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EEW: Oh? …Well, I’m waiting.

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Wait, what? Dangit, Markyjoe! You'd better not kill him early! At least let us accomplish our original goal!

Fdrstar: I-I’m being serious! It’s… it’s…

Yes... Come on... YES...

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Wait...

...What?

Marc: Wh-What!?

Fdrstar: All this time, I… was afraid to speak to you. I couldn’t handle the thought that you’d reject me… So I made that Ragefest submission, hoping you’d come to me instead…

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This... this can't be it! Right!? Fdrstar's going to escape out the secret trapdoor and we'll have to follow him to the REAL Marc's Precious! Right? Right!? RIGHT!?!?!?

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Fdrstar: If you don’t… feel the same way… then…

Marc: No… it’s okay.

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Marc: I’m… honestly kind of surprised, y’know? I’ve been jackin’ off to animes so much that I never thought… I never thought something like this would happen.

...What... what is this...

Fdrstar: …

Marc: Look, fdrstar, I… I…

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Wha... I... what... WHY!?

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EEW: What?

Marc: YOU FUCKING KILLED HIM!!!

EEW: I know.

Marc: But WHY!??

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EEW: That’s why we stormed his castle in the first place!

Marc: I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE GONNA KILL HIM!!!

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EEW: You mean to tell me we killed an army of GAMFs and that was fine, but once I killed the dude SENDING those GAMFs, then we have a problem?

Marc: Did you NOT hear him speak his feelings for me?!

EEW: Who?

Marc: FDRSTAR!!

I'm not going to lie, this had me chuckling! Frankly, EEW might be being a bit rude, but I like this better than Marc and fdrstar getting together.

EEW: That fucker had feelings for you?

Marc: YES! THAT’S WHY HE MADE THE HACK THAT WAY! TO GET MY ATTENTION!!!

EEW: That’s fucking dumb.

Marc: OH MY GOD, YOU’RE SUCH A FUCKING SHIT FAG!

EEW: You know what!? FUCK YOU!

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EEW: Anyway, I’m going home to play my new wrestling game! Y’know, the one that’s only slightly different from last years? Good day to you sir!

Marc: FINE! GO HOME TO YOUR STUPID WRESTLING GAME! But mark my words, EEW… When I’m done mourning and burying Fdrstar… I’m coming for you!

EEW vs Marc? Hmm... I guess it depends who gets the first hit in.

EEW: Whatever you ass muffin. Go lick your beloved corpses nipples and listen to your pretentious prog rock. Fuckin' jack muffin…

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Marc: All that’s left is… is…

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A SEQUEL!?

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Oh.

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Well, I guess that's it! We actually found out what Marc's Precious was! I'm... not as disappointed as I thought I'd be, actually!

I'll talk a little more in Final Thoughts. Now then, character ending time!

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N: Dufur the Unknown: I don’t know. Do you really care? This guy had, three lines of dialogue or some shit.

I messed up and didn't catch his card shot in time.

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Until Marc's Precious REVENGE-ER didn't happen. Can't wait to see how this affects Ragefest lore.

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And one last beautiful CG for our ending!

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well... I enjoyed it! Shorter than I expected, but that isn't really a point against it at all. The first chapter was fun, and made me think. The second chapter wasn't as good as the first IMHO, but then, I could've done better at it, too. Really, after looking at the rest of Markyjoe's hacks, this feels like a logical continuation of his further development from his older hacks. I feel the same way about the story - it isn't particularly poignant, relying mostly on shock humor, but it really does feel like a more refined version of the same style of humor held by Old and New Fire Mumblem.

Anyways, that's it for now. I'm signing off again, and since Serenes Forest is apparently on the decline, I may never be back. The good news is, these LPs should live on, mirrored on Markyjoe's website! Now, how long that will last, nobody knows.

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*Claps*

Thanks for taking the request of LPing Marc's Precious - Revenge, TheMoniker. I do hope to see you more in the future. It's just, we gotta find some way to make screenshot LPs viable... or give you more reason to do them again. x.x

But yeah, if nothing else, we'll have your Markyjoe LPs preserved on my website. I would recommend that you find a way to preserve your other LPs somehow. I can give you some pointers on how to quickly get your posts into an HTML file if needed.

I unfortunately don't have much author commentary to provide. The only thing I can think of is just that maybe I should have made the great knight reinforcements take a few more turns. Rushing and camping are both supposed to be viable, but near equally challenging strats, but because I feared the camping strat would be too simple and shit, I may have went overboard.

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Well that was... a thing. The humor was too vulgar and not clever enough for my taste, and the level design in chapter 2 shows more of Marc's... overzealous design choices for better or for worse. But overall, a lot of care was put into this hack, and it's quite solid. I enjoyed it overall. 

...

And thus, the end of an era. Was nice to be back here again to see you do your thing, TheMoniker. Your screenshot LPs were easily one of the best parts of my senior year of high school, with a new update every day right as I settled in at home. Coming back here was a real nostalgia trip. Thanks for everything you've done, man. 

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