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The "Proper" Way To Do What the Above Poster Says

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Relax and breathe through your ass when making your strokes.

The proper way to deep-fry a turkey is...

Edited by Karimlan

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To try, but then realize Christmas isn't about the commercial stuff. And carve the roast beast.

The proper way to become a mermaid is...

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To have a fish eat you, but only halfway. Now you technically have a tail and part of you can breathe underwater.

The proper way to evade taxes is...

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Either get a competent accountant friend of yours royally drunk, or change your last name to Madoff.

The proper way to perform surgery using a hammer is...

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Castration

To break every bone in the patients body so they come back stronger.

 

The proper way to explain the plot of a Metal Gear game is...

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  1. Get a two-way radio set (walkie-talkies will do, in a pinch). Give one to the, ahem, explainee, and keep the other.
  2. Whisper and grunt into the mouthpiece while you "explain."
  3. Keep on going.
  4. Keep on going.
  5. Keep on going.
  6. Throw the radioes away, and throw your hands in the air.

The proper way to commit regicide is...

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go to the market, wait until there’s just you and someone that works there watching you, open a bag, eat a chip, then stop and wait to see what the worker says.

The proper way to find cryptic messages in your Alphabits is...

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Dress as plainly as possible and make up the anime you're cosplaying for so you can be the cool kid even if you don't win first place.

The proper way to find your ancient alien ancestors is...

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...To realize you could create your own game from scratch and make a profit off of it.

The proper way to understand copyright law is...

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