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Parrhesia

Let's Play Final Fantasy Tactics (WOTL): The Nadir of Videogames

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21 hours ago, unique said:

what

what was the point of argath coming back?

did he even do anything????

From a gameplay perspective, that fight was for you to get Ultima more 'easily' since there are all those Ultima demons to hope they cast on Ramza. Assuming you can survive many ultima shots.

Feels good on a Nerd Ramza playthrough to have though.

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Update 44
In Which... in which... god we're so close

Spoiler

 

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Rude Knight has picked up the crystal, which has celebrated by turning green.

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'There must be a reason' - FFT's plot.

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Yeah, that's the thing - they really can't fight an army. It's not even like any of the Lucavi - except Cuchulainn - are fought alone. Hell, both Adrammawhatever and Zalera matched us for numbers, 5v5 then 6v6!

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Mercurio and Rude Knight have seen your Satans and they are unimpressed.

As they should be, really. Sephiroth and his two assassins were infinitely tougher than Zalera and two Ultima Daemons.

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Maybe green rock is some other rock. I thought Isilud had the green rock? Oh, fuck it.

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spoilers we can refuse to let her join anyway

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That is literally what she just said, yes. Also the dialogue ends there.

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Rude Knight is the second-best of the three paladins that have and will join us - in fact I think she's the last story signup in the game. Her equipment is weirdly bad, knightsword aside (second-strongest in the game as far as I'm aware, auto-protect).

From another angle, she's Cid, but worse in literally every metric.

See, with paladin swordsmanship, there's sort of three sets, which I'm arbitrarily going to sort into luminous...ness. The light set - Delita, Agrias, Wiglaf - is the ones that deal damage from distance in all different shapes and sizes. The neutral set - Rude Knight - just breaks shit. The dark set - Gaffgarion, Return of Argath - is drain MP and drain HP. The templars have at least two paladins that I'm aware of as well. And Cid? Cid just has all of them, straight-up. Hell, he even starts with the JP to know five of them off the bat, and Shadowblade (drain HP) just costs 100, and unlike Agrias (whose stats are bad) and Rude Knight (whose stats are okay) his stats are really good.

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Yes.

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Anyway we try and leave Bethesda Castle and then this shit starts happening. Some fighting outside.

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Orran shows up, having probably killed many men outside.

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He ain't doing so hot.

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'i'm bleeding

yep

no shit, lady

no shit.'

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Ovelia, like the entire rest of the world should, doesn't think this really happened to Delita's script.

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What fucking shithouse budget bouncers are these that couldn't even guard the fucking VIP room, anyway?

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"Oh, our murderous prisoner has escaped and incapacitated various guards. LET'S JUST FUCKING LEAVE THE PRETENDER TO THE THRONE ON HER OWN, UNGUARDED."

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SAY IT NOW. IT"S THREE SYLLABLES. SAY THEM NOW.

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"we are so fired"

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So who became Prime Duke of the South when Goltanna died? Who somehow found a lordly title out of nowhere and is now, as far as everyone's concerned, the boss? Was it: another nobleman? Was it: Goltanna's relatives? Was it: hell, the Beowulves? Was it: the resulting power vaccuum destabilises the south and decisively finishes the war?

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No. Delita just sort of decides to be the prime authority of the land and everyone lets him. There is no discontent, no rival faction. He controls the Southern Sky with more authority than either Cid (who was abandoned by them) or Goltanna (who at least claimed he relied on Cid for them). The offstage nobles hated Goltanna, the onstage ones hated Cid - they're all fine with Delita, who is like 19, is of common birth in a deeply prejudiced world with regards to that kind of thing...

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It's not like this guy is denying that authority, he just thinks this is kind of counterproductive. He gives in, of course, and leaves.

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Delita forgets the rule the templars forgot that enabled his power play in the first place; Don't Alienate Ovelia For No Reason.

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Confirmation that everyone's fine with this.

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Well, except Ovelia of course, but women don't get agency in FFT, they just exist to suffer for the character development of men.

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sigh

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no shit, sherlock.

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"Go to your room!"

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There's no door sprite to illustrate what actually happens, but she heads down, checks there's no line of sight, then opens and shuts the door without actually walking through it, before going to eavesdrop.

If only Delita had some kind of trusted attendant on hand to guide her to her chambers, or two guards outside to guide her to her chambers, or literally any of the resources at his disposal.

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Orran had one job and even then it was Delita who spilled the beans.

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Orran's got self-esteem issues.

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Don't worry, Delita, it's got like a 25% success rate every time. Just persevere.

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"I will even out the power struggle by destroying the other faction."

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"... for Tietr- wait, shit. Um. The. Other one. Blondie."

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Another Entice failure. Maybe they've got worst compatibility.

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Is it, though?? Is it really???

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The commonborn squire thing only comes up when convenient for Delita.

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Ovelia runs for it.

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Delita's come too far.

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Aaaand then he rushes her and kills her offstage. Good one, game. Good one.

Here, I compiled a full list of things that women have accomplished in the plot of FFT:

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At least this scene's kind of cool. The game keeps up its refusal to remember that there is the code for female chemists in the game.

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This is the face I make playing this game.

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Zalbaag hurls a poisonous fungus at his new henchman, killing him instantly.

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"Unless it's been scattered into the sky, then it kills you, but like, nonlethally."

I miss the animation but he just chucks the mushroom into the lake. It makes a little splish.

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okay this is actually a pretty cute proverb, I'm a fan.

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Zalbaag lets him go, but tosses a coin at him first, because he's incapable of just giving shit to people.

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Ohhh, you little scamp.

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So yeah the cat's very much out of the bag, this random henchman has confirmed - I guess - that Barbaneth was poisoned.

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The ghost of Mustadio haunts Goug now! We return just because of A Hunch - there's no reason to ever go back there, the story never even goes back in that direction again. We're actually sequence-breaking - we were meant to trigger this cutscene before finding our orbson, hence Mustadio still being alive. Really surprised they didn't catch this bug in the WotL ... thing, honestly.

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Besrodio tries to cover for the fact that he doesn't know what orreries are. Anyway Mercurio pokes it and some tiny electricity happens.

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Oh, we'll need Cancer to activate this. God there's so many stones in this fucking game...

OH AND WITHOUT ANY WARNING AT ALL WE'RE ATTACKED IN DORTER??

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I've brought Cletienne up a couple of times because he's my favourite templar.

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So yeah, teleporting? That's for any old mug. Actual wizards have this bullshit ready.

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Cletienne prepares to forcefully eject us from the Own Zone, and also from this earth.

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But fucks it up.

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And someone clowns him.

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Okay, this is WOTL exclusive so I have no idea what's going on.

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Oh. Rude Knight who is... literally unequipped? That Rude Knight?

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It hints at something between them, but we'll never know the full stoyr.

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His daves, and our own, show up. Rude Knight shows up as a guest and is totally unarmed. Can you bring her as one of our own dudes? Unfortunately I fucked up our savestates and can't check.

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Turns out Magic Counter counters magic guns.

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Cletienne knows a a wide variety of magic and has as far as I'm aware the highest faith in the game.

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See, it hints Cletts and Rude Knight knew each other once and were friends or something.

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But the thing is; Cletts barely acknowledges that. If he was the slightest bit reluctant about vapourising Rude Knight... but no, he's just all 'heheheh... you were a fool all along...' about it, and that's not just boring, but a really badly missed opportunity.

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The thing is, there really isn't a difference between the templars. Loffrey and Folmarv and Cletienne are more or less identical in personality (Cletienne's a little smugger). So are Isilude and Rude Knight. Barich was slightly more his own thing, but not really by much.

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And if you're gonna have so many templar bosses? At least let us occasionally corner and kill one!

KILL COUNTER
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Next stop: Eagrose Castle, for real this time.

 

 

Edited by Parrhesia

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Mercurio continues to slum it while Delita becomes the Pope of full power, s'all good.

Also I've never really been fond of Meliadoul to be frank - Agrias is my one true and you already have Cid who's a chill dude and breaks the game backwards if you use him. Meliadoul just does it less so and is more or less kind of there. Not big on her design either(though I do dig the emerald cloak!).

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Meliadoul was just a faceless nuclear bomb. Quick, shoehorn a random fight that doesn't even evolve her character! 

I used to be kinda ok on this game, mostly on gameplay and atmosphere. The story sucked, but I wish we could have another FFT that had this atmosphere instead of cutesiness. I then stopped liking the gameplay, and not much is left. This playthrough has been entertaining, but it's left a sour taste in my mouth.

I just want an intrigue Ivalice story that doesn't involve being pulled from a trash can.

Is that so wrong?

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I've heard good things about Vagrant Story, at least.

But then you hear good things about FFT, too, and look where we are.

Still, I get the desire. Hopefully there's an FFT sequel down the line, with FFTA2 design philosophies. And good writers.

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21 hours ago, Radiant Dragon said:

Elmdor's stuff was definitely able to be stolen or broken in the original, I have done so personally. The only boss with innate Maintenance in the original (as far as I remember) was Balk. I think Wiegraf has the ability actually equipped in Riovannes, as well.

However, Blade Grasp does work against the Steal command, so trying to steal his stuff without savestates is a giant pain, as you can imagine.

Non-JPN versions only. You could not steal in JPN. This was something all bosses had innately as an invisible passive. 

Blade Grasp works with brave. All you need to do is use Brave lowering abilities. It's less of a pain then. 

As for the Meliadoul Battle, I'm pretty sure that this only happened because you didn't have her. It's an extra battle-- and a poorly done one IMO. 

Honestly, I like FFTA2 the most in terms of ideas that it has, but I find that FFT's engine and charge mechanics have a bit more potential and keep things a bit more interesting. 

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I hope FFTA3 manages to exist one of these days...

Unfortunately the FFT series is currently gathering dust in SquareEnix's basement.

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FFT S was a thing just a few years ago.

Also what's the map in the background behind the foodgroup count?

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On 2017-05-01 at 4:11 PM, grandjackal said:

Yeah, imagine doing this doing 0 sideventure. No tavern jobs, no grinding, nothin'. This fight is literally "Not using Cid? Die.". It was exactly this fight where I stopped giving a shit. In fact, the fight often starts with Elmdor exploding most of my team as the first action of the fight. I then have to pray dice damage rolled low, and people didn't succumb to vampirism. Then I have to hope they and Cid can combine to do enough damage to kill Elmdor in response. If they don't, I'm dead. 

Sidequests has little to do with it, good setups mean a lot more, and I guess knowing that you only need to hit Elmdor. 2 shots (maybe 3) of any decent attack magic and/or swordskills will lower Elmdor to critical. FFT bosses have this thing where they usually have lots of physical evade and some counter to physical damage (usually Counter, though Blade Grasp in this case) but they can't do shit about magic and swordskills.

There's no damage dice involved, damage is non-random (except, like, axes and a few other things that nobody uses because they're bad). The 10% chance of confuse from Muramasa can be annoying, I'll grant.

14 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

I've heard good things about Vagrant Story, at least.

Vagrant Story's... story... isn't very good IMO; I certainly wouldn't put it above FFT's. It also is rather painfully trying to be edgy in that way that FFT kinda does and you don't seem to like, so I would expect a similar reaction. It's also even worse about female characters barely existing/mattering. It gets less hype so maybe you'll be less disappointed?

 

Others have clarified this but yes you could steal Elmdor's stuff in original NA FFT, but not original JP. NA FFT improves on JP in a number of ways and thus WotL going backwards on that front is frustrating. That said most of Elmdor's stuff isn't really that great unless you're willing to use a glitch to duplicate the katana.

It was always possible to use Samurai's last two abilities, but using them more than once required either said duplication glitch (at least, I think it exists in JP FFT too, but not 100% sure), or using Catch (thief reaction) to snag katanas thrown randomly by Level 90+ ninjas from the Deep Dungeon. So uh yeah they might as well not exist. No idea why they didn't at least make the last two katanas available via the fur shop. At least Samurai's last two abilities are better than Archer's!

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Update 45
In Which the Cap Rises

Spoiler

 

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Looks like we weren't the first to get the idea to come to Eagrose. No guards anywhere, huh?

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He just pulls some lever and walks inside.

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oooookay evidently Zal got here first.

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Zal doesn't really give a shit about Larg, but... figuring out Barbaneth's death, yeah, there's no coming back from that.

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Well, we're not gonna get an answer, but Dyce has a one-track mind. Power.

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Dycedarg's entire bodyguard are Northern Sky knights.

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Mercurio shows up!

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This line was, in the PS1 translation, something like 'Kill Big Brother Zalbag!'

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Zalbaag's layout is pretty random - God I hope he doesn't try and use black magic - but he's always a nice, big, meaty paladin to chew on.

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Dycedarg's gear is really bad for some reason, but he has a lot of skills to call upon. Originally translated as 'Lune Knight', by the way.

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Mercurio turns these two dudes into statues.

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Dyce is pretty nasty, all told.

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Honestly, I like what we see of Zalbaag, the insanely stupid kill order on Tietra and Mercurio aside. He plays fast and loose with the whole 'chivalry' thing, is willing to participate in Some and overlook Much skulduggery, and will do whatever to win a war, but starting one just for the sake of it? Killing your own father? Most importantly, bringing shame upon the house? Dycedarg has stepped across a line and here Zalbaag is, going to fucking kill him for it.

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Unfortunately he decides not to use any of his many ways to kill people and charges... a basic Fire spell. And gets midcharged by two guys. Thanks.

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Good work, Zalbaag. Good work.

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Agrias shows him the way.

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And Selkie finishes the job.

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Yeah, sure, I'm sure you're the picture of fraternal loyalty given the whole 'you murder everyone' thing.

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!!Enter Greenrock!!

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The knights run away, I guess.

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I think it's trying to be a couplet.

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Then he just cutscene-kills Zalbaag, because why not.

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Shut up and die, already.

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Turns out Agrias can fucking chunk him. Mercurio rips him up, too, and Portia takes her shots, and...

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... Selkie loses out.

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But then Portia pegs him a third time and he's done.

Thurio did not have an action to make all fight.

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The rock has decided it's green now after being brown earlier.

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"I guess I am okay with the deaths of my idiot brothers."

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"And I will kill y- wait, wait. Wrong script. Sorry."

KILL COUNTER
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Those might have been the last knights of the game.
Just the 61 of them, in all.

(oh, wait. nope. there's a couple more.)

 

 

Edited by Parrhesia

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you know this one wasn't really that bad

not really good either but nothing too stupid happened this time

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13 hours ago, unique said:

you know this one wasn't really that bad

not really good either but nothing too stupid happened this time

Adremmalach obliteratomizes Zalbaag with a thought, then doesn't do the same with you. I'm counting that.

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It says something that a plot of puppetry and alleged deep political intrigue is eventually boiled down to "lol demons are jerks". Ivalice, am I right?

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16 minutes ago, Efina Leonhart said:

I don't know why but I find that one knight sitting on the title of the enemy sheet so amusing. Idk why. It makes me smile every time I see it. You go, little knight.

this is my favourite comment of the whole LP and my day's been made

(if you were wondering why he gets to be elevated, he's the floaty boy from the Riovanes gates)

Also, Democracy time; is anyone here firmly in favour or against the last chapter being a video update?

Edited by Parrhesia

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Update 46
In Which Zalbaag Thought He Was Out... But They Pulled Him Back In

Spoiler

 

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For some reason, we then go to Mullonde, which was very subtly originally called Murond Death City in the original. It's the Vatican unless the Vatican was Lesalia or one of those northeastern ones.

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Anyway, here's the templars being capable of such treachery.

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Good practice. Just burn every bridge, fuck it.

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The templars consider this.

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Boom. Book-ends. The game will end underneath Orbonne, where it began.

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Uh if I had to guess there were footsteps? IDK the game audio's kind of boring by now so I drown it out with music.

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He had my favourite name in the original. 'Funeral'.

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Don't worry. Ya buddy Loffrey won't leave you like that.!

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HAHA, TROLLED! DIE LAUGHING! XD! JAPED!

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japed so hard!!

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!!!!ENEMY VARIETY!!!!
We're about to fight fully 33% of the game's white magi, and all of its orators (discounting the guy owned by Orran) and geomancers (full-stop).

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Mercurio why the fuck would the Swiss Guards listen to you straight-up.

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Let's butcher 'em, then. Hilariously, not only does the white mage have just 48 faith, but he's named fuckin' DERWIN.

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Agrias kills both Orators instantly so I hope your hopes weren't set on seeing them fight.

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And that's the summoner out of the picture. I've done a tiny bit of grinding just to limp everyone over the line to 34 and the precious speed point that all the enemies have had that we haven't. Enemy levels are high-30s to 40, but they're going to drastically spike in the very endgame.

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Anyway, yeah. Sadly, catching up to enemies in speed has re-invalidated them.

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Here they are, then. Dour Folmarv. The Japester, Loffrey. Smug Cletienne.

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Mercurio. They're lying.

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You know, they can't kill Alma if you kill them first.

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Damn it, Mercurio.

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NO SHIT.

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Loffrey's a Rude Knight with really bad equipment for some reason, though not as outdated as Dyce's/Rude Knight's was.

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Folmarv's a light paladin. And Cletienne's basically as we left him. Objective's to defeat Folmarv! I'm pumped! Let's do this! Let's go! Rip and tear! Rip and tear your gu-

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This game's design philosophy's even worse than I'd thought.

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Like I don't get who decided that the stated objective of levels should lie to you a third of the time.

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I fucking defy anyone to claim this makes sense.

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And he teleports out which I miss.

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Let's get this game over with.

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I wonder if this unstoppable plot-armoured cult could beat FE4's unstoppable plot-armoured cult.

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Like what even is the Ark here. It's Arch, isn't it? And they fucked it up. Also it turns out Ultima Demons have one less jump (2, the lowest I can think of in the game) than Archaic Demons.

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Portia becomes a vampire which I think turns her into a charmed bloodsucking parasite.

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Narratively, this is really stupid. But just - in a vaccuum, I like these lines. Poor Zal.

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Let's kill him.

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This fight is defined by the scenery being really annoying to work around.

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Mercurio... bloodsucks Zalbaag for some reason.

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Thurio, as ever, ends any fight as soon as he hits melee range.

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Exit Zalbaag, winner of the Deserved Most To Be In A Better Game Award.

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Not even our friends only die once.

KILL COUNTER

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I'd totally love to see a deathmatch between the Lucavi and the Lopyrian order - who is more transparently evil and godbusted?

Poor Zalbaag indeed, he may have been a shitter sometimes but he was a good bro to Mercurio in the end. Rip a sensible man who really did deserve to be in a better game.

 

While I'm a big advocate of "go big or go home" finales, I'm unsure if this game deserves it - even I think the endgame is pretty jank and kind of going through the motions, so it being in video format may seem off. Keep it classy and normal, that way the Kill Count can be properly sent off! (but I still believe in you either way, Ciaran!)

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Damn, now I really like Zalbaag. Finally a bit of decent writing. That and his design reminds me a bit of post-game Basch in FFXII. Hmm, Basch~

I also definitely prefer Screenshots.

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