Historical Waifus and Husbandos

[XRay]

37 minutes ago, Benice said:

Blimey. You my be forgetting that Queen victoria did nothing at all. She literally spent the last 40 or so years of her reign locked in her room because her husbando died. Even before that she didn't do much, her government did evrything for her,  and Victorian england wasn't a happy place to be unless you were white and rich. Two seven year old girls were hung because the stoley three pennies and a spoon. While England prospered financially and as an empire, Queen victoria didn't have a ton to do with it. 

You have to see it from another angle. She is so badass that she did not even have to lift a finger, and a large chunk of the world was then hers even though she did nothing. Plebeians who are badass merely adopted badassery. Queen Victoria was born into badassery, molded by it.

[EricaofRenais]

Joan of Arc.  She was so badass that the king sold her out to the enemy to prevent her from being made queen.  For men I have to say: Leif Erikson.  He found America before the Spanish did and he did not cause any lasting harm to the natives.

[Integrity]

my name is ike and i hate this thread a lot

 

[XRay]

1 hour ago, Integrity said:

my name is ike and i hate this thread a lot

But you are the 34th president of the United States.

[Integrity]

look in what fucking world is 'ike' short for dwight? fucking seriously? was he dwight isaac eisenhower? no. bastard.

 

[JSND Alter Dragon Boner]

8 hours ago, DragonFlames said:

If we're talking historical waifus, would Xiaoqiao and Daqiao count?
I guess they were the waifus of the author of Romance of the Three Kingdoms, because they were apparently so beautiful that people went to war over them: Zhou Yu (Xiaoqiao's husband) was initially against going to war with Cao Cao until another guy (Zhuge Liang) was like "hey, Cao Cao wants to tap yo waifu". Then Zhou Yu went "You know what? F*** Cao Cao, and f*** surrendering to him! We're gonna burn his f***ing fleet down!" And that's what they eventually ended up doing at the battle of Chibi. Which inspired the Battle at Gronder Field in Three Houses. Change my mind.

The novel itself describes the Qiao sisters as "so beautiful, they outshone the stars and caused flowers to hide in shame". If the author of the thing wasn't into them at least a little, I don't think he would have described them as such.
And yet, for whatever reason, Dynasty Warriors' character designers decided to turn them into lolis. It's especially egregious with Xiaoqiao. Any cutscene with them and their respective husbands in it is just incredibly awkward because of that. Depending on who you are, of course.
They're still really fun to play as, though.

Uh... that went places, didn't it? My apologies for going on a bit of a tangent there.

But speaking of Romance of the Three Kingdoms: the author made up a whole new female character who is more or less directly responsible for the Three Kingdoms period to even be possible. I'm referring to Diaochan, who set a honey trap for the tyrannical Dong Zhuo (whom Cao Cao, founder of the kingdom of Wei and possible template for Edelgard, failed to kill earlier in the novel) and his mighty general Lü Bu. She got close to both of them and eventually managed to convince Lü Bu to slay his master, who up until that point, seemed nearly untouchable. So, the author went one step beyond and made up his own waifu!

 

Its important to note that the story about those was put in as a fill in, and women are for better or worse "viewed in objectification" terms. (no offense though, those are based on what i read about the historical contexts, i would readilly admit im a sexist, but not THAT much) so its less "must be their waifu" and more "its to glorify/justify the dudes". A similar story along these lines are what happened with Yue Ying story

 

Now if you want to talk about Waifu and Husbando in ROTK you don't get far from none other than Zhuge Liang and Liu Bei themselves. Or Guan Yu. Or Zhao Yun.

In fact theres a character in Shu who'se entire reason their name even exists to begin with is along the lines of someone made a fanfic with him as a name. Zhao Yun is similar in that a lot of his fame is tied to the fanfic made about him on an otherwise unremarkable figure

[DragonFlames]

15 hours ago, JSND Alter Dragon Boner said:

Its important to note that the story about those was put in as a fill in, and women are for better or worse "viewed in objectification" terms. (no offense though, those are based on what i read about the historical contexts, i would readilly admit im a sexist, but not THAT much) so its less "must be their waifu" and more "its to glorify/justify the dudes". A similar story along these lines are what happened with Yue Ying story

Okay, good point. You're probably right.

15 hours ago, JSND Alter Dragon Boner said:

Now if you want to talk about Waifu and Husbando in ROTK you don't get far from none other than Zhuge Liang and Liu Bei themselves. Or Guan Yu. Or Zhao Yun.

Sun Quan best boy. His Dynasty Warriors incarnation anyway.

Have you read ROTK before? The way Liu Bei's physique is described there makes him anything but husbando material.
Like this:
"He was tall of stature. His ears were long, the lobes touching
his shoulders, and his hands hung down below his knees.
His eyes were very big and prominent so that he could see
backward past his ears."
- Brewitt Taylor, C.H. (tl): Guanzhong, Luo: Romance of the Three Kingdoms.  Chapter 1, p. 11

If that's husbando-material to you, I won't judge, but... holy hell. No wonder Sun Quan was hesitant to let his younger sister marry the dude.
On the other hand, he WAS dual wielding before anime and games made it cool/edgy, so...

On the topic of Liu Bei, I feel like one of his attacks in Dynasty Warriors should have been him tossing a toddler at the enemies. You know, in reference to him throwing his infant son to the ground after the events at Changban bridge. XD

15 hours ago, JSND Alter Dragon Boner said:

In fact theres a character in Shu who'se entire reason their name even exists to begin with is along the lines of someone made a fanfic with him as a name. Zhao Yun is similar in that a lot of his fame is tied to the fanfic made about him on an otherwise unremarkable figure

I think I know who you're talking about: it's either Guan Suo or Zhou Cang, right? With Guan Suo, I'm not TOO sure, but Zhou Cang (former Yellow Turban rebel, who turned into a follower of Guan Yu while the guy was escaping from Cao Cao to go find Liu Bei and Zhang Fei) is definitely entirely fictional and only made up to make Guan Yu look better.

Edited December 5, 2019 by DragonFlames

[Dragoncat]

On 12/4/2019 at 11:09 AM, XRay said:

Just because people can buy and pork their own Edelgard body pillow does not make Edelgard real.

Can I just say this is a T shirt worthy quote