Raven's Raging Soul Silver Run

[Raven]

Integrity's Soul Silver run has kind of inspired me to play, so here I am. I also needed something to occupy me while I'm having a break from exam revision and my current Fire Emblem 7 runs.

My humour is often dry and quite blunt, so if you don't find this funny, then that's fine. You could watch the gym battle/significant battle videos I'll be posting, if you want.

Without further ado, let's get shit rolling:

Part 1: So I went downstairs in the night for a drink...

Sorry 'bout that. I'm a bit of a night owl.

This sounds familiar. Have we met before?

Can you not see me? Are you unsure of my gender just by looking that you must ask? You mist be losing your eyesight in old age.

So I finish talking with him, give him my gender and name etc., I then shrink into the Pokemon world.

Holy shit.

Well you do kind of need that to use the Wii. Don't sound too grateful, kid.

"Finally awake"? It's gone 2.30am, Mother. I simply wanted some water.

And why the shit is Lyra playing outside at this time of night?

And what the hell does Elm want from me at this time of night?

I swear you're all fucked up. At least Oak was surprised when I met him at this ungodly hour.

There are four houses in this town, Mother. I'm sure I won't have problems finding it.

Captain Obvious strikes again. What else would a bag do?

The first thing I do is change the text speed because medium is too damned slow, and I hate holding down A to make it scroll faster.

You can't see it in this still image, but this little blue shit collided into my person.

Good job Lyra was there otherwise I'd have kicked the little shit into the wind turbine.

You people have absolutely no sense of time.

It's the middle of the night and you're letting your daughter's male friend into her bedroom without batting an eyelid?

Don't you have an ounce of suspicion within you?

Turns out that I'm retarded.

Yeah I know. I'd just like to take this moment to say that you should probably put the books down and get some sleep.

Now's not the time of day to conduct research.

http://i1165.photobucket.com/albums/q590/VanguardRaven/16.png

Pokeballs are awesome indeed. Did you see that episode where Ash caught a fucking rice ball? Insayne.

There must be a catch. What do you want in return, exactly?

Back in the late 90's when emailing each other was awesome, I'd understand.

But now, 10 years into the 21st Century? Get some rest, Elm.

I will not. Fucking. Listen.

Blatant bribery. You use my weakness of always wanting a Cyndaquil to make me do your bidding, thus becoming "Elm's Bitch". I refuse.

Looks like I have no choice. You win this time, Elm.

But once I'm back from your little early morning errand, I'm keeping the Cyndaquil, getting my water and fucking off back to bed.

I feel you, man. These crazy fucks are to blame. Don't worry, we'll be kippin' in like just half an hour, honest. <3.

Named my Cyndaquil after Integrity because Integ named his Gyarados after me in his SS playthrough, to which there is no greater honour.

*Glares the fuck out of Marill* Hiding behind Lyra won't help you, you hyperactive shit.

I will get you. One day.

Again, back in the late 90's a mobile phone capable of storing numbers on internal memory was pretty awesome.

This is 12 years in the future, woman. Get with the times.

Me too, bro.

The first of many casualties to come...

Just because you can do something, it's not always a good idea to follow it through.

Kids across Japan have probably given themselves concussions because Pokemon says that large, formidable trees can be headbutted.

It's at this point one may consider a trip to the nearest Pokemon Centre, or a use of a Potion.

It's k man, nearly at the PokeCentre. Hang in there.

Wait. Can't it wait until after I heal my Cyndaquil? He's pretty fucked.

This is my stop.

Damn it old man stop dragging me around. I've played this game before, honest. Leave me alone.

Lol, I sea what you did there.

I wouldn't have walked up to you and specifically spoken to you if I didn't want my Pokemon healed. Get on with your job, girl.

Despite the level difference, Rattatas can still hit pretty hard. Little shits need to be exterminated.

I never did understand exactly how rocking a tree can force it to literally spit its apricorn up into the air. Weird shit right here.

Yep. See ya.

Alas, more bribery. Oak gives me a Pokedex and in return asks me to help him by filling it.

I just want to get back home and sleep.

What the actual fuck could possiibly happen at 3am? Just go to sleep, man.

Oh, I noticed you earlier by Elm's lab. You seem like a dick.

A Brotodile, eh? Looks familiar.

I just love owning arrogant twats like you. Prepare to eat your words, kid.

The outcome might have been a bit different had his Totodile known any water attacks. But Integrity ain't afraid of his weaknesses.

So anyway I beat his ass, get his name and all that. He's Charles, by the way. Don't ask why because I don't know.

The phrase is most commonly known as "The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime."

With such incompetent officers within Johto's police force, it's no wonder it falls on one 10 year old kid to defeat Team Rocket. I'm carrying a Cyndaquil, not a Totodile. Shit, man.

Oh it's you again. Thanks, but I really don't need any help defending myself against such a clueless police officer.

Yes, now go and search for red-heaired Charles carrying a Totodile. Don't bother me again.

No.

God damn it, I don't have a choice, do I.

And with that, I talk to Mom who decides to save some of my money for me, and I go off on a Pokemon adventure with Integrity.

In part 2 I will be killing Joey's rat, catching some Pokermen, burning down Sprout Tower, and earning the first badge from Falkner. The gym leader battle will be uploaded to YouTube.

Edited January 23, 2013 by Raven

[Melonhead]

Lol.. I can tell this will be good. Keep doing it..

[Integrity]

15:34 - Twilight Sparkle: lol

15:34 - Twilight Sparkle: Integrity is concerned about your mom!

15:34 - Twilight Sparkle: damn right i am

[Raven]

15:34 - Twilight Sparkle: lol

15:34 - Twilight Sparkle: Integrity is concerned about your mom!

15:34 - Twilight Sparkle: damn right i am

I knew it would go down well.

[Mikethfc]

Damn you Raven I've got exams for the next four weeks and you give me something awesome to read, looks like I'm going to be scraping by on 40 this year.

Edited April 29, 2012 by Mikethfc

[Raven]

Part 2: All I wanted was some water.

As I left New Bark Town to continue forth with the journey in which Professor Elm shove upon me, Lyra appears with her hyperactive fuck of a Marill to show me how to catch a wild Pokemon.

I would much prefer to have a battle with you so I can get my chance to beat your Marill into a soft blue mush.

So she catches her Rattata and gives me 5 Pokeballs. Thanks. But you're still pretty annoying.

The time is now rape o'clock, and forever will it remain this way.

Buy 10 Poke Balls, get one Premier Ball free. I think I'll be saving that for the Magikarp I plan to catch in due time.

Joey's Rattata. It didn't last long.

A Bug Catcher's Caterpie. The battle's over before it's even begun. I can smell the Caterpie's fear.

I decide to take a browse through Dark Tunnel in the search for a Geodude. I come across a Zubat.

It survives an Embering, so I thought it must be worthwhile catching it. Besides I need a Pokemon to learn Fly later. And Crobats are pretty awesome.

Caught that Zubat and a Geodude. Zubat is named AwesomeBat and Geodude's named RockinRoll. How creative is that?

On my way into the next city...

Ah fuck it's you again. Use Leech Life, Zubat.

So after leaving that persistent bitch for dead I wind up North of the city and find this Sprout Tower.

Integrity's gonna love this place.

A couple of floors up in the tower, Rockin beat some guy's Hoothoot and gained two levels, much to my amazement.

Well that just means I won't have any problems either, considering your starter is weak to grass types.

Oh yeah, you're still a dick.

So I beat the old guy here, and use the Escape Rope which has been appropriately placed nearby to quickly leave the building. To the gym!

Well this platform seems like a reasonable mode of transpoOH SHIT FUUUUUUUUUUUU

RockinRoll will be lapping up the kills in this gym.

Fucking Sand Attack I hate it. This Pidgey is only delaying its imminent defeat.

And defeated it was.

And so I reach the leader, the following video is what happened in the encounter:

And thus a badge was earned. The next part will be the journey to Azalea Town.

[Integrity]

I chose to make a comment on the video instead of here.

Wait.

Shit.

[Raven]

The more you post here, the more I get to bear witness to Micaiah's tits.

Which is a god thing, by the way.

[Raven]

Part 3: Using my huge rod to attract unsuspecting homosexual Magikarp whom I shall name "Mad cunt" and then beginning my journey through that tunnel which I forget the name of.

So as I continue my adventure, some seemingly random guy just gives me Rock Smash for no apparent reason.

Awesome. Sounds powerf-

-ucking useless. I guess I'll use it to smash rocks and the craniums of Rattatas.

I venture south into the Ruins of Alph, and decide to have a crack at that puzzle.

You stand in this dingy shithole 24 hours a day just to welcome people to try out this puzzle?

Do your employers even know you exist?

Some sort of ancient hieroglyphics on the wall at the top of the room. Wonder what it says.

At least I was able to actually translate Pokemon Sapphire's Braille code, and I actually learnt some braille. What does this achieve?

Hmm. May have to check online for a guide here. I've given up already.

So I finished the puzzle and fell what seemingly looks to be at least 20 feet, and am uninjured.

This guy seems more interested in the fact I finished the puzzle than for my wellbeing. Dick.

Yeah man, was well worth this broken leg right here.

Maybe you should have been standing underneath me when I landed.

Guy's offering me an Unown Report thing. Not interested. Unowns are shit.

I also completed the Unowndex back in the original Gold/Crystal, so I'm not bothering with that shit again.

Let's fuck up some innocent boulders, then.

Just had a feeling, you know. Why put a smashable rock in the way of nothing?

Wasn't so obvious, but you know. Gut feelings and all that.

Step away from the water's edge, Rockin. I'll be needing you for the next gym.

I haven't even tried it. You're wasting it giving it to me. Take it back.

I fail to agree with this statement of yours, researcher guy. I'm leaving here now, may we never meet again.

And I'm keeping your Unown Report thing. Gonna sell it off, make some dough, you know.

Backtracked to the PokeCentre in the city I'd just left to heal my Pokes.

Talked to some guy and learnt about stuff I already knew.

Too obvious.

I honestly do, but I can't afford that shit, and my wallet can only hold up to 999,999.

How did you know? I'm on a mission to catch and raise the maddest of all mad cunts...

I'm imagining this guy curled up in the corner, rocking back and forth, repeating these words with a semi-manic appearance on his face staring blankly into the distance.

Shield your eyes, kids. You're not meant to be seeing this stuff until you're at least 18.

Sure enough, a Mad cunt was attracted to my unusually large girth and length, was captured and will be raised.

Whoa back the fuck up. Come any closer and Integrity will make sure you're eating food through a drip tube.

I'll get away with it too because the little law enforcement is absolute wank.

I am so easily amused. I hope you are too.

Can't you do both? You are a woman and women can multitask. It's true because the stereotype says so.

I shall call you DINNER, because if you didn't hatch, that's exactly what you would've been.

How in actual fuck could you possibly know this? It hatched literally a second ago.

Lol, nope. /me deposits DINNER into the storage system.

I am amused at how Magikarp is easily able to keep up with me on land, even as I run.

I can also imagine it just flopping up onto the desk at the PokeCentre before being healed.

Why not just put him in the Ball first, as opposed to potentially KOing Nurse Joy as a result of jumping over the counter?

...What badge? I am not displaying any badges on my person.

That's almost as impressive as Elm phoning me up as soon as DINNER hatched.

How the shit can you see into my closed badge case?

I swear, this Pokemon world, even people who are not Psychics are psychic.

Zubat's current moveset is so shit right now that he needs something to back him up.

Gut feeling, you know.

I swear to the almighty Optimus Prime, I'm not using any guides. My memory of this shit is just worryingly good.

It's nice to know your fears, fire person. Allow me to add one more thing to that list of fears.

So Mad cunt was sent out first for EXP, and Zubat was sent out to kill the Vulpix. Then the shit just used Roar and sent out Karpy again. I hate Roar.

Switch back to Zubat.

All right, fuck this. I'm ending this now.

And fuck you.

Next part will include the first encounters with Team Rocket and the second gym encounter, with video.

[Integrity]

I am so easily amused. I hope you are too.

Don't worry, Ray. I am.

[Raven]

Part 4: Stupid sexy Proton!

I guess you haven't heard about that 'strange tree' blocking the path to Goldenrod then.

Expect a lot more like me, man.

The perfect ingredients for rape.

I'll come back after I beat the E4 and you will still be here, no doubt.

:trollface:

It's in my blood.

No not the Paralyz Heal, the ability to find hidden items, of course.

God fucking damn it.

To be quite frank my dear, one will never be coming back to that town, and thus one does not give a single fuck about Earl.

Don't hassle yourself with such trivial matters. Life would be much easier if we were all boring fucks such as myself.

Maybe I shouldn't have accepted everyone's numbers, because I can't delete them once they're stored.

What sort of telephone won't let you remove contacts? What bad design.

Ahh, freedo-fuck. Rain. I don't even have any spare clothes.

Wouldn't you rather wait inside the cave until this torrential downpour subsided instead of just wandering around aimlessly out here?

Ah, fellow man. Shake my hand. Then we shall do battle.

Fellow man, it will take the warmest of stories to melt my frozen heart of steel.

Something along the lines of CLANNAD ~After Story~.

They told him don't you ever come around here.

Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear.

The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear.

So beat it, just beat it.

It's true. It happened in the anime.

Phone call.

Yes, Joey. Call again any time.

Lop off all the Slowpoke tails you want, but block my gym and I'm taking all of you the fuck doooooown.

Oh, isn't that cool. Someone other than myself will be doing something for a ch-

God damn it.

You're a pussy. People like you make Team Rocket fail.

So you'll run from an adult, but you'll not hesitate to attack a lone ten year old.

You say that almost as if I'm supposed to give a fuck for you.

This one was quite obvious, no?

And if you don't listen to me, a lot more than just your rep is going to get ruined.

The only reason I'm here is because one of your Grunts are blocking the gym.

You brought this ass kicking upon yourselves.

Tell me Proto... Does it feel like you're wearing... nothing at all?

Giovanni probably said those exact words to Red 3 years ago.

Oh, I honestly forgot about you. And your timing is impeccable.

Yeah the guy did a swell job. Nothing could stop him. You should've been there to witness it all.

To the gym!

They are pretty cool. You just need more. It's far too easy.

It does also remind me of that SMB64DS mini game.

You know your Zubat is bad when you need to rely on Supersonic to deal extra damage.

Man this is going to take fucking years. SWITCH.

Much better.

Finally, a half-decent attack that AwesomeBat can use!

I think this is the first time I've ever genuinely used an X-Item in battle. That Beedrill can normally do anything between 6-15 damage per turn with that fucking Fury Attack, not including critical hits. With this, it's reduced to 4-10 damage per turn.

And with that, all that remained was the gym leader Bugsy:

Next part(s) will see me heading through Ilex Forest and shooting for the 3rd badge in Goldenrod.

[Integrity]

Yes, Joey. Call again any time.

it took you four minutes to finish talking to joey

[Raven]

Yes, if I recall correctly, my own mother called me between screen captures.

Edited May 4, 2012 by Raven

[Raven]

Part 5: Magikarp falls down.

It only lasted 5 minutes. Hardly "great", I think.

Ah, if it isn't Mr. I'Mtoobadassforweakpokemon.

What, you're asking for my cooperation now?

They did, for all of ten minutes. I beat them down and out.

You could have probably beaten them yourself had you been in my position.

So then we fight.

If the game battled with the intelligence of a human, things would be so much harder.

Croconaw came into play. I haven't got anything that can effectively take down water types, so...

Integrity used Smokescreen about 5-6 times, before...

Integrity can now rest, knowing that his actions greatly aided towards the victory.

Now Mad cunt can tackle. What a mad cunt!

The fuck, man. You instigated this fight, and you're getting owned. Deal with it.

No caption necessary.

Big yes, but also linear. It's impossible to get lost, unless you're stupid and end up going in circles without noticing.

Solid fuckin' Snake style, bitch.

Your boss is retarded for letting you take them.

...Wow. Really?

I left these guys in Ilex Forest and I came straight here, seeing nobody along the way.

How in Optimus' Name did they get back to their house before I did?

That's for Integrity.

One of those Farfetch'd is trying to commit suicide, by the way.

I'm just not going to even bother even trying to think about how the fuck this is even possible.

Hell if I know.

I'll pass, thanks. Teach it to RockinRoll and Integrity, instead.

This place is easier to get through than Viridian Forest. I'm surrounded by morons.

See? Even my bloody Magikarp knew which direction to go. Fuck.

...Yep. Took the words right out of my mouth.

Fuck you I said save my money, not spend it on shit I will probably never use.

Damn straight, kid.

Practice battle for what, exactly? Every battle is as real as the last. Come at me, sis!

Are you from Kanto or something? You realise that's rare as fuck, right?

I'll give you all my money for it.

You dare insult me, wench? I'll break y-

oh. He's your grandfather. I wonder if she'll notice me if I just walk on by h-

God damn it.

I'd rather not...

Not awkward at all. I told you to just let me go, but no.

Much to my disfuckingmay. Can I leave now?

Bitches love talent.

Yep, exchange numbers right here in front of your Grandmother. She already thinks we're fucking anyway, so why the hell not.

Too late for excuses now. I'm going before she decides to force us into an arranged marriage or some shit.

Are you fucking kidding me? You've only just gone.

I had to to beat the gym to use Cut to get through Ilex Forest to meet you and get your number at your Grandparent's Pokemon daycare. I think you should know the answer to that question.

Nothing would happen.

Please don't call again.

Fuck.

Tee hee.

After looking at my trainer card, I realised I could place my signature on it.

GJ mouse.

So I arrive at Goldenrod and decide to visit and raid the store for all it's worth.

It is only upon reading this screenshot I've realised Machoke is a play on the word "macho", meaning "masculine". Well that's only 13 years too late.

So then I call into the game corner.

It only took me about an hour, but I finally learned how to properly play this game and use strategy.

Next part: Whitney cries.

[Mikethfc]

Now Mad cunt can tackle. What a mad cunt!

Awesome,what level does it learn to DJ?

[Raven]

Once he evolves, he'll be tearing up the dance floor. And every other kind of floor.

Part 6: Name changes, evolution and crying.

I find myself at the entrance to the underground, when this hyperactive shit appears.

This means Lyra isn't far behind. Sigh.

I don't want to do anything. I just want to leave.

I... really don't give a shit about "dress-up". Please stop talking.

God damn it I do not want a thing to keep decorations in.

Looks like I got it anyway. Sigh Lyra.

Anyway, bike shop.

Why did you decide to put a bike shop so out of the way anyway? You'll get no sympathy from me.

However I will gladly take and use that bike. I don't care about your business.

Has anyone ever actually won this lottery?

Great. Another thing I'm never going to use.

Looks like we can't face the gym leader unless we get that radio card.

That's the only way they're getting rid of their radio card stock.

Playful, or having a seizure? Maybe I should take you to the doctor.

So, there's a Rocket member outside, and something is wrong with the director.

Nope, nothing's gonna happen here later.

Don't lie to me, you just don't want me to visit Kanto yet. I can see right through you.

I feel the same. Sadly I also think the novelty is beginning to wear off.

And thus, new names were born, for the sake of keeping it fresh.

Dio the 'Karp because I was his Gyarados. Freohr the Zubat because Zubat's female. And Nightmare the Geodude.

You have a Bulbasaur but you can't get your hands on the most common Pokemon in the Pokemon world.

Must make Freohr happy so she evolves nice and early.

Why are you not being taken care of in a home for the mentally challenged?

Ah good, this gym still looks like a Clefairy from above.

I love skirts. It's a shame the girls look pretty young. Like, 13/14 young.

He did that all by himself. I so proud.

So after beating all the lasses in the gym, I come to a predicament. Do I face the gym leader now, or continue to raise Dio and evolve him to Gyarados?

Pretty damn close. Fuck it.

First trainer on the route above Goldenrod has a Vulpix. I remember fighting a Vulpix before.

Sigh.

If I win I'm going to ask her out. And when you have her back, you won't recognise her, if you know what I mean.

I am now ready for Whitney.

And so, the battle vs. Whitney:

She has no reason to cry, she nearly beat me.

No. I want your escort services.

I am at the right place, aren't I?

Carry on, paedo. They're all jailbait. I'm outta here.

Now I begin my journey to the next town, whatever that is called. The one with the two towers and 4th gym.

[Integrity]

that motherfucking miltank man

I remember this fight because I REAMED the Clefairy (2hko, no damage) and then got straight wiped by the fucking Miltank.

EDIT: Also the town is called Ecruteak.

Edited May 7, 2012 by Integrity

[Raven]

I am not impressed. I had like 30 screenies captured and ready to be saved in bulk on PAINT.NET, then WHAM. Laptop restarts without my permission. All dem screenies gone. I can backtrack and re-take a couple, but I currently just made it to Ecruteak. Expect a single part to be published soonish as opposed to the usual 2 parts per gym badge that has been occurring up to now.

[Freohr Datia]

Imma Zubat =3

I lost some happiness in that fight thanks a lot Whitney ;A;

[Raven]

So here's the gist of what happened within the deleted screenshots:

I played Voltorb Flip for maybe 90 minutes and got the coins to buy a Dratini, and did so. Her name is now Songbird.

Did some shit in and around the national park place. Beat trainers all across the route between Goldenrod and Ecruteak.

Watered a tree which attacked. Caught Sudowoodo and named her Bizz. Bizz replaces Nightmare in my team.

So... here we are:

Part 7: Freohr gains a lot of levels

It's only been so for about 4 minutes, but nevertheless you are right.

Yeah I like Scyther.

So after about 10 minutes in the park, I go from Beedrill to Metapod to Butterfree to Pinsir, when suddenly

Awesomeness appears

I'm sure glad the devs didn't make Dragon Rage do 41HP damage.

I has Scyther. I happy.

So I didn't even get a podium finish, losing to the likes of Metapod, Pinsir and Venonat.

How the fuck does this point system even work?

Only the biggest fucking hint that HM Rock Climb exists in this game.

Than you for noticing this notice. As you would notice, it is a notice.

Pokemon from left to right: Freohr, Bizz, Dio, the freshly caught Lumi who appeared in my party free space, Songbird, and Integrity.

Yes but how did you find out? Am I being stalked?

If this wasn't such a child-oriented game, this would probably be "Rape!" or something.

Probably.

If not rape then definitely sexual assault.

And thus the Grunt proceeds to simply spin around on the spot in a clockwise fashion.

Yeah it's up to me to save the day again, as per usual.

Not even Freohr's impressed with this so-called "dance".

YOU GAT DIS, FREOHR!

Are you hitting on me?

She is, isn't she.

And so Surf was acquired and taught to Dio.

For some reason

is playing in my head.

It works since this guy gets none of the girls.

Why yes, dear. I would love to attend this dance rehearsal with you.

Why doesn't the game expand on this? I'd love to play a minigame-style thing where we actually dance.

Anyway, time to kill some gym leader.

Oh. K.

Why just Suicune? Why are you not interested in Entei and Raikou also? This isn't fucking Pokemon Crystal, even though that is where your character originated from.

For the record, I'm not a fan of this guy. I take much joy out of beating his ass in the near future. Just sayin'.

Optimus Prime Approved comment.

Fuck you and get back to the gym so I can get my 4th badge.

Anyway since I fucked up the screenshots that were deleted, have a Rival battle:

Don't be worried. Those dogs are nothing but pussies.

What are you looking at?

Yeah I know. But meh, my party is nearly complete.

That's quite observant of you, fellow Integ. I shall make haste for the exit.

So I head for the gym, since Morty should now be there.

Lol, GG NO$GBA.

No no it's fine. This emulator is all the help I need.

And now, the 4th Gym battle:

After that fight is complete, this is my current team and how each of them stand:

Freohr is one level away from evolving.

My normal course of action here would be to head straight to the Lake of Rage and capture the Red Gyarados. But I think instead I'll head West towards gyms 5 and 6. Even if I did go catch it now, it wouldn't get used because all the other Pokemon in my team need to be trained.

So next part: I head West.

[Freohr Datia]

So I didn't even get a podium finish, losing to the likes of Metapod, Pinsir and Venonat.

How the fuck does this point system even work?

Don't be worried. Those dogs are nothing but pussies.

Freohr is one level away from evolving.

You have to try keep health as full as possible and whoever has the most health remaining will win.

I've only managed to get in 3rd with a Metapod (with a tiny bit of damage from a burn) so far because I tried getting a Butterfree but it nearly killed me ;A; (me being Vulpix x3)

;A; Awwww I love them~ And last night I was the happiest person ever because I caught Entei with the first (and only because no money XD) ultra ball I threw at him~ x3

Yaaaaaay Songbird is gonna become a beautiful beautiful Dragonair!!! <3

*compares stats to the rest*

And boy do I need that evolution! Those stats are weeeaaaak XD

Edited May 13, 2012 by Freohr Datia

[Raven]

Part 8: Lighthouse? More like Fighthouse, amirite?

After defeating the 4th gym leader I decided to head South back into Goldenrod to fuel my Voltorb Flip addiction.

Guess who I met along the way.

Yeah what a dick. I could either chip him with Freohr or waste a Pokeball on him.

So I went for the chip.

So back to the Game Corner I went.

Do I get bragging rights yet?

This game would be so damn easy with savestates. It's a shame you can't do that with NO$GBA.

But fucking up is half the fun!

While I was near the vicinity, I went further south to teach Headbutt to Dio and Songbird.

Then I went to the department store in Goldenrod and bought Thunder...

I'm hoping it will be of some use against that Poliwrath in the next gym. Either way, it just looks good.

Why do you ask, strange person who patrols the route gate?

Why do some routes even need such a building? Why can't we just simply walk between areas without having to go through a pointless building?

Was it that obvious?

Trainer fights ahead, and

Perfect.

Tbh I can't even remember what is getting Thundered in this screenshot. Probably died.

Personally, I'd give you nothing. But I'd be pleased to receive any shit you don't want.

You mean like blocking my fucking path so I have to walk all the way around, through the tall grass?

Dickhead.

I am not cute. I will crush your Pokemon and I will make you cry.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>8[

I want.

Yes, I know.

It's you. I guess you haven't lost your false teeth since that one time, eh?

Tee hee~ I'm such a bad person...

...

Fine. Take my berries.

What, that isn't enough? Fuck it, you can die.

Unless my other sends me some more later. Then I might return, if I remember.

Yes, but not to me. I will probably kill them.

You have the mental capacity of a five-year-old. I'm not sure if you should be allowed out here alone.

Says the one who hasn't defeated me as of yet.

I'm sure you would just let one of your own Pokemon go too, if it ever became ill.

He probably would.

Nope, not today Dio. She really isn't here, as you can see.

No, she isn't hiding behind me.

See? We must go to the lighthouse post haste and defeat this evasive gym leader.

Hot.

She wanted to show her unique Pokeball seal thingy. Now she will have to clean that mess up. I'm sure there's a rule that says we can't have battles inside a Pokemon Centre.

Lol, mad cunt.

Sounds almost like a proposal. Or at least the first step towards one. Anyone can see that.

What do you say to that, girl?

Yeah well maybe you should play along, then you can both fuck right here on this pier.

While I watch.

So after jacking off to them (they gave me some strange looks btw) I wind up at that lighthouse, and go up the elevator.

But nope, bitch keeps the door closed, just to force me into walking through all the floors to get to her.

But it must be done because otherwise no 6th badge for me.

It's never a good fight if one opponent is blatantly overpowered and the other is being controlled with shitty AI.

As expected, I pounded his ass through the floor... What the actual shit?

I don't believe it. Golbat grew only 1 level after evolving.

Which is good because I hate Golbat, but Crobat is sex.

It's obvious Rival Charles hasn't been through here then. Why would he, considering he doesn't care about sick and weak Pokemon.

Lol, wow. What a dick. Time to teach you some manners, kid.

There's a fucking ladder right there. Shit, you're worse than that Kimino girl lost in Ilex Forest.

I hope you never find your way out and die a lonely death in this little room

My good Sir, I would be honoured to help you in fulfilling your wishes.

GAAAHHH *HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

Fucking shitbag.

swag·ger/ˈswagər/

Verb: Walk or behave in a very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive way: "he swaggered along the corridor".

Noun: A very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive gait or manner.

Adjective: Denoting a coat or jacket cut with a loose flare from the shoulders.

Synonyms:

verb. strut - brag - prance - peacock - boast - swank - vaunt

noun. strut - swank

adjective. swell - stylish - chic - spruce

I can understand the raise in attack as a result of becoming annoyed or whatever, but confused? Hmm.

I think I got stuck at this point for a while back when I first played.

Had no idea there was a door there, it took me a while to notice that arch of light on the floor.

You know he dead.

...Right... I don't like where this is going.

Optimus would have to disagree with you there. And as a follower of his ways, I am obliged to call out your bullshit.

Normally the Pokemon Centre would heal a Pokemon. Why don't you go there?

Fucking called it.

Fine, I'll be your bitch. I'm every bitch's bitch.

Next part, I Surf to Cianwood, get the medicine for that Pokemon and fight Chuck. Will Raven overcome the odds and be victorious? (Hint: yes).

[Mikethfc]

God damn you, awesome update when I have two exams tomorrow and another two in the days after it.

Ah well who wants to bet on the number of Mad Cunts we see in Johto?

[Icon of Sin]

So I didn't even get a podium finish, losing to the likes of Metapod, Pinsir and Venonat.

How the fuck does this point system even work?

I'm positive that the HP remaining counts.

It's probably better to just put them to sleep.

[Integrity]

As expected, I pounded his ass through the floor... What the actual shit?

I don't believe it. Golbat grew only 1 level after evolving.

Which is good because I hate Golbat, but Crobat is sex.

Wait, Golbat evolves?

Well fuck me, Zubat just got cool. I thought he got stuck at Golbat forever.