Candlejack
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Posts posted by Candlejack
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I hate you all. If this shit doesn't stop, I'm gonna think of a matching that is so commonplace among fandom, it'll make you cry in agonistic fury.
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Also, the thing about the pic above, if you ignore the black stripes on her legs, it looks like she isn't wearing any pants...
It is also the #1 and ONLY REAL reason why Smash fans want Krystal in Brawl.
Because they are furfags who have two brain cells and can yiff in hell.
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I want him to make "Volug furries are ridiculous"
Oh wait they do that by themselves. Besides, everyone is furry for Volug anyway. Except Volug. Because he gets the ladies anyway.
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Better yet, if you have a fivesome.
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The French are only good for two things:
Surrendering and being complete douchebags.
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I've never had a THREESOME before!
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Meh. I don't think you captured Haar's character well, pen/smash.
He didn't rape enough enemies.
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I got this boil on my face that wouldn't go away, so I decided to squeeze it for about forty five minutes.
Nothing but squeezing this bumpy motherfucker.
Then, a few seconds later, it's like an elephant jizzed all over my bathroom mirror.
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Oh u.
When you can debate a game without having played it before.
You can do that with any sports game not called Fight Night.
When the only bucks you have in your wallet are deer's.
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If you can shoot bullets...
From your penis.
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Except he's not a badass, nor does he have control over it. So he's half-ass.
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Frey: Hahaha, you said fuck.
Gheb: *Over speaker* Frey! Report to the office, now! Wait, who's Frey?
Ymir: Oh, you're fucked now. Literally.
Frey: I think not, my culturally challenged friend, for you see- MINE is bigger!
*Ceiling crashes behind Frey, as Gheb with red eyes, seething with rage, points at Frey*
Gheb: YOU DARE TO CHALLENGE THE GHEB?!? PREPARE TO BE RAPED!
Frey: No... it shall be ME who is doing the raping today!
*Their cocks rip out of their pants and they collide as a shining light engulfs the surrounding area, Frey and Gheb roaring to overpower each other*
Gheb: IS THAT THE BEST YOU'VE GOT, BOY?!?
Frey: FACE MY WRATH, LARDASS! KUUYOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Gheb: HRAAAAAAA!!!
*Explosions*
Gheb: Ha... ha... you are a worthy adversary. Perhaps you shall finally satisfy me...
Frey: Don't count on it Gheb... this longrod is only for the ladies...
Norne: You two are insane.
Gheb: Norne, Ymir, to my office now. And Ymir, bring the Triceracock.
Ymir: WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?!?
Gheb: Fail at life. Now, where was I...
*Etzel walks in, with Dactyl and Grigas behind him holding a boombox blaring "My Milkshakes"*
Grigas: Hey Hey! Etzel is in the HOUSE.
Etzel: ... *Looks around* You there. Suck it.
Palla: What the hell?!? You can't honestly expect me to-
Etzel: *Uses mind-control powers over Palla*
Palla: YES MASTER.
Dactyl: OH SHIT BOSS! You get ALL da ladies!
Etzel: Damn straight I do.
Athena: *Walks in and sees Etzel* Vat is zat girl DOING to him?!?
Etzel: There's a party on my scrotum and you're invited.
Athena: Ha! I have multiple personality disorder! You can't do shit!
Etzel: Have I... met my match?
Horace: NYNA!!!!! *Sees Dolph* DOLLLLLPH WHERE IS NYNA?!? I ONLY WAN TO TALK- NO MORE GROPING, I SWEAR.
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If your nipples can shoot flames.
If people nickname you Jupiter because of how big your sac is.
When your batting average is over 9,000.
If you can kick your future self in the balls.
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You could be a Mage. We don't have any magic users.
Then again, we have like, four or five branded characters.
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When you're Canadian.
Similarly, if you are French, you are an automatic coward.
Fixed.
Also, if you manage to jump out of an airborne vehicle and punch somebody in the face at such high of a velocity, it ruptures not only the victim, but the surrounding space and timeframe, causing anything within thirty miles of the origin point to collapse and literally disappear from the face of the earth.
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Branded Wolf: Idk, I might be accepting more character submissions later on, but I have enough myrmidons/swordmasters.
OliverxRenning: I like the titles you gave to them, only I can't see Mist leaving her brother's mercenary group like that. My opinion though. And since you needed a mug...
I don't need a mug for Kurda. I already have one. I meant for Azhozn. Plus, Kurda looks WAY too young in that mugshot.
EDIT: Yep, here:
And I already gave credit on Pg. 3...
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When you doesn't afraid of anything.
Or when your name is Zagaro.
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I thought I was the only one Fia!
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Hrmm, it's not that I see a fit... I guess it's just obligatory, seeing as how because of the Fire Emblem, belonging to Mist at the time, gave Kurda a reason to fight.
But yeah, ending:
Kurda: Shadowy Martyr- Kurda, once the war was over, traveled to the far east and brought along his ever-faithful lover, Mist. Though Ike and the mercenaries objected to this action, they could not deny the happiness Kurda gave Mist, and vice versa.
Mist: Shade's Hope- Mist, once she realized her love for Kurda, wed with him at a Crimean altar, despite heavy disagreement. She cared not for their pleas, and traveled with her husband to the Hatari Desert- rumor has it they have started a friendly rival mercenary group...
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Best: FE11 Sedgar
Worst: FE1 Bantu
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That's cool. I'll finish Mist's supports right now before we can talk about whatever you want the conversation to be, Ether.
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KurdaXMist Support B:
M: Kurda? Kurda!!! Where are-
K: What is it?
M: Ack! You scared me! I almost thought you were an enemy...
K: ............
M: Umm... listen... about our last talk... when you said I wouldn't understand-
K: Let me guess; you think you get me? You want to help me? You really are delusional. You can't help everyone, Mist, understand that.
M: I-I'm not a child! I know that, it's just- I think that you know, deep down, that EVERYTHING bad in the world isn't your fault. I mean, you calling ME delusional is a laugh.
K: You think you get me? You have no idea what I've been through- what I've caused.
M: Fine! If you wanna be all mad at me, go ahead! *Goes offscreen*
K: No, it's... damn, she's gone.
KurdaXMist Support A:
M: ...Go away. I don't wanna talk to you.
K: Mist, please. I just want to-
M: What, apologize, that "You can't help it? Everything that is bad happens to be your fault?"
K: No Mist... you were right this whole time.
M: Ex-Excuse me? Was your head hit by a hammer?
K: No... Mist, I've been abandoned by every person I've ever been close to. I didn't want to experience the pain I might have gave by being with somebody else. My parents left me because they thought I was bad luck. Hell, I joined the Daein Army years ago just to get them to lose!
M: You... what?!?
K: Mist, it was so I wouldn't let Ashnard get the medallion in his hands. I didn't want him to hurt anyone... To hurt you.
M: !!!
K: This... this is kind of awkward... I haven't really LIKED anyone before, but...
M: Kurda STAMMERING? This is a rarity. I must make you fall head over heels.
K: ...Yeah, you do.
M: Tee-hee!
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Lilina wins overhyped. Dunno who'd win underhyped.
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Aww, okay. I guess it'd be worse than Dheg's shockwave, eh?
But anyway, maybe I could have a support with Ether or Jenna. Personal preference really...
Do you mean something like a boss convo.Since you probably won`t end up as a PC.
Blargh, no, I meant for Kurda's support options. But I'll need permission first- Azhozn would pribably have convo's with the herons, Ike, Micaiah, and probably Naesala.
But right now, Kurda is talking to Mist...
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KurdaXMist Support C:
K: Hmm... dagger seems to be a bit rusty. Oh well, I could-
M: Umm... hi. You're Kurda, right? The guy who touched the medallion?
K: *Gr...* Y-Yes, why do you ask?
M: Well, it's just that only people with a whole lot of order can touch it! You must be a good person.
K: Hah, dream on, kid. The only thing I've done for good is switch sides. Everything that's happened is mine to blame.
M: Wh-What? How can you say that?!? You don't believe that do you?!?
K: It's fine. You wouldn't understand anyway... Mist. *Goes offscreen*
M: Poor Kurda- maybe touching the medallion turned him insane...
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Frey: NO! What they DID was out me to that creep Jiol a few years back, and now I've got worse experiences than freaking Stefan!
Horace: *Walks into cafeteria* Hi Marth... have you seen Nyna anyway? I want to tell her something...
Norne: *Walks into cafeteria and sits at the Loli Archers table*
Rebecca: Hi, I'm Rebecca, and this is Tania, Neimi, and... Dorothy.
Dorothy: *Sniff* I just want to be pretty...
Norne: Umm, why are Gordin and Leonardo here?
Rebecca: Oh, they just came out of the closet a few months ago!
Gordin: He knows how I feel...
Leonardo: Yes pumpkin *Smooches*
Edward: YOU'RE A WHORE, LEO.
Nagi: *Goes to sit at the dragons table*
*Sees Myrrh, Fa, and Tiki*
Well screw that, I can pass for a teacher, let's see if I can get into Nasir's pants today.
Athena: *Sees Marisa and approaches her, asking,* So, you too are a swordsvuman?
Marisa: ...Yes. Who are you? I haven't seen you before.
Athena: Ve are Athena.
Marisa: Vat are-, ahem, what are you talking about, "we?"
Athena: Ve? Vun Voman! Are you stupid or something?
Marisa: You crossed a line...
Ymir: *Watching from afar* Wow, I'd stop this but I can't miss out on two hot chicks fighting it out brutally.
Horace: Oh, Athena... *Cuts himself in the corner* DAMN YOU ARMOR!
Frey: (Notices Merich for the first time,) Is this Marth's new boyfriend or what?
Slippy is good for two things
in Far from the Forest...
Posted
Furfags were there first. Scalefags are furfags with scales.
Nonetheless, they all deserve to burn in the fiery depths of Gheb's anus.