Saint Rubenio

Since his growths aren't that good, it'll help him match everyone else. I don't know what anybody else thinks, but with FE12's growths, I feel that giving the growth drop to most units is overkill. Only a few (like Matthis) can actually make good use of it.

Oof... Well, while the sheer hilarity of using Forgettable #1 and #2 would be great, I think Matthis's a more sensible choice. He arrives quite early, which gives him a slight chance at growing into something decent. Mercenary's a good early class for him, since it allows him to train his sword rank up a little, and a higher speed growth without sacrificing much in the way of stats. Although, he should hop back on his horse after a few levels (level 10, perhaps, but that's up to you). Will you be using the DLC items? If so, I highly recommend giving him the growth drop, though, since his growths are rather low for FE12's standards, but not so much that they wouldn't work even with a boost (Arran, Bantu).

Dear, dear, so many choices... I'll try to be reasonable. Use Frost, Tomas and Matthis. Sorry. As for the MU, let her be a female Archer, and no, I don't hate you.

Father Wrys! Yes, Sir Lance? Please forgive my bluntness, but... what in the world was that!? I can't stop thinking about it! I am afraid I do not follow... You vanished into thin air, and mere moments later, you returned carrying the injured Lord Roy, as if nothing had happened! Ah, that! Ho ho ho ho! You saved us, Father Wrys. But I must know... Oh, you "must"? Is somebody threatening to do you harm if you don't uncover my secrets? Of course not! Who would do such a thing?! The man who did your eye in, for instance. ...if you're implying I'm in cahoots with that wretched monster-- Relax, I am not implying anything. My apologies. I shall explain when the time comes. But it has not just yet. Be patient! All shall become clear in due time. ... Part 16 - Barnacles that blistered. My apologies, I couldn't think of a better title. Don't let it be a testament to the update's quality, though. More on that below. Even more apologies for the delay. I made the mistake of starting both Mother 3 and FE12 once more, as well as buying subnautica, training an amiibo to kick my friends' asses when they come over for some sm4sh, and going to driving school to get my license at long last (for those who were reading my first LP, yes, I failed. Got a problem with that?). To top it all off, the last update left me a little burnt out. I don't know about you, but rickrolls aside, I bored my ass off writing that one. Not this one, though. This one's much more interesting, in my humble opinion. But it's fine now. I'm finally going to be able to play FE6 again! Woohoo!

Oh, dear... that's not good... F-father Wrys! What are we to do? Lord Roy... he's... ...not yet. Please, leave me alone for a moment. I need some space... What?! Do as I say! Well, then... ...now, let's see... ...ah, perfect! I see I haven't lost my touch just yet. And now... TCHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~ ...father Wrys...? Where did-- TCHEEEEEEEEEEEE~ Sorry? What?! Where did you come from-- ...wait, that's... Lord Roy! Sound the retreat. I didn't have the time to do it. I'll take care of Lord Roy. But, how... Does that matter now? Everyone else is still out there! Ah! Of course! At once, Father! ...dear me, maybe I should've chosen a more inconspicuous appearance... What would you have thought of this, Arran? Ah... I pray you're well. You, and the rest of Archanea. One day... Part 15 - Intense guys. I've recently started a new FE12 ironman run. Just for fun, I won't be bothering you with that one. I just wanted to share with you the fact that, since I picked the maniac difficulty... ...I lost everyone except Caeda and Cain. Ain't that great? And as of chapter 6, I have 18 units. Eighteen! But at least this time, I didn't get the world's shittiest MU. It's only the world's shittiest Pegasus Knight. She should be better as a Cavalier, though. Except she's worse than Rody and Matthis, but that's an unfair comparison. Matthis, after all, attained godhood. Anyway, that's all. Back to the topic at hand.

Use Barth and Bors as well as Wendy, and teach the enemy the true power of the Ostian triangle. As for the healer, Elen's pretty much the indisputably worst magic unit in the game, so go for her. That's because he is better than Lilina, having way better speed, which helps him dodge more reliably than Hector's heir, and joining with slightly better bases 5 chapters earlier. Lilina's fun to use, but she's definitely not optimal, and certainly not good enough to be excluded with the likes of Milady, Dieck and Rutger. My opinion is that Lilina should be replaced by Perceval in the list of excluded units. Perceval is an absolutely amazing unit, even in normal mode. In the sort of team you're aiming for, he'd stick out like a sore thumb. These are my humble opinions.

I guess you mean faux-Zyne? Although... Hm... no, sorry, I don't think that works. "How... this can't be happening!" I mean, I can't read japanese, but this guy is as generic as it gets. I assume it's something along those lines. He ain't dead, right? No harm done, then. She certainly is more competent than Echidna. And looks better, to boot! Raigh doesn't exist in this game, thus making this game automatically worse than Binding Blade. Now seriously, I'd really like to know how the creator explained this chick's presence here in the plot. I mean, she's supposed to die at Ilia. Either she pulled the "oh, no, I just retreated" BS, or in this scenario, Roy just went to Sacae, and this is all happening while Roy's busy killing Roartz. Fireemblem.jpg, again. With any luck, it should. Oh, no, that's not it, it's just that both Sergei and Toby are slow as snails in a sandstorm. Woohoo! Lookin' forward to it, as usual.

Part 14 - Joy. Jeez, I take a few more days than usual to push an update, and you guys start replying like machine guns! What happened?

... Father Wrys, we're about to move out. ...oh! Of course, my apologies, Sir Marcus. You look quite pensative... is something amiss? Quite on the contrary, I am just trying to figure out the best way to ensure nothing amiss comes to pass. I see... In any case, I am ready. Let us go give these pirates what for. Indeed! Part 13 - He of the skill. I don't know when it happened, but somebody deleted the messed up version of part 11, so I will no longer look like an incompetent, triple-posting buffoon, or I would, had I not made another post ranting about it and especifically asked for it not to be removed. Whoever you are, thanks for taking the time to do it!

There's going to be a delay on the next update. My fears of the last forum maintenance making me lose all my progress on the update were well-founded, so I'm going to have to write it all over. My apologies.

Please, both of you, try to remember... what happened, exactly? How many more times must I tell you this? One moment he was standing in front of me, about to be consumed by my spell, and the next he was behind me and Sid, striking Ruben in the head. Speaking of whom, where is the soldier, Sid? He ran off with Sir Marcus to try and find the spy. I see. What about you, Margaret? What happened when you found the spy? Same as father Wrys: we had him cornered, then I blinked, and he'd slaughtered my forces and wounded me. I don't even know why he spared me... ...he wanted to prove his power. To show you, in your last moments, that you stood no chance against him. Bastard... it's a good thing you came and rescued me. I guess that means we're even from the time you impersonated me. It was necessary. Had you not done it, I would've died today. I hold nothing against you or your friends. Hm... Where is Ruben? I've questions for him, as well. Lady Elen is with him. She said she'd come as soon as she could... I'm here, I'm here. How is he? Not too well... he will not die, but the wound left him very debilitated. ... Just a moment ago, however, he was feeling strong enough to answer the questions you wanted me to ask him. What did he say? Apparently, he just saw the spy charging at Sid with a blade he'd concealed within his doublet. "I figured he would be able to defend himself from such a fat, unfit man just fine", he said. By the time he realized Sid couldn't move, it was too late to do anything but jump in front of the blade. ... Oh, Sir Marcus! We didn't hear you come in. Did you find the spy? I'm sorry to say we did not. Wherever he is, it's not Ostia. ...and Sid? He headed for Ruben's quarters when we arrived. I assume he is there. I think I'll join him, if you'll excuse me. Of course. We, too, must leave. Yes, Sir Perceval requires our presence at Etruria. Rest assured, we'll continue our investigations when possible. Lord Roy is in the throne room, if you wish to speak to him before leaving. I think I will, thank you. Margaret, ready everything up for our departure. At once, General Cecilia! It is quite late, Miss Elen. You should probably retire to your chambers. I'll look after Ruben. I was about to do so, it's been a quite long day. Good night, father Wrys. Mm. ... Lady Elen. How is the tactician? Sir Marcus? He's sleeping now... he isn't bleeding too much anymore. I see... ...if you have no more to say, I'll beg your leave. I'm quite tired. It's quite understandable. Sleep well. ...he, of all people, would give his life to save a friend... perhaps I was rather mistaken about him... ...as a person. What sort of tactician would do that? Couldn't he have pushed the soldier out of the way? Part 12 - A very trustworthy person. I should probably mention, spoilers for Heavy Rain ahead. If anybody cares, yeah. Go beat Heavy Rain before reading this update.

Treck. Commander Jerrot. How is your head? It is fine... Treck, while you fought in the castle, I... found Noah. ... He did not survive the battle. ... ...I'm done for. It may not seem like much, but... this wound has debilitated me. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to lift a lance again. You are the last hope of our group. Please, Treck. Don't let Noah's death... and my sacrifice... be in vain. ...I won't, commander. Thank you, Treck. ...may I go back to my nap now? Of course. Go ahead. ... ...I'm sorry, Noah... your death could've been avoided... if only I hadn't been so weak... ...Commander? Don't worry about me, Treck. Keep on napping. It wouldn't do to be tired for the next battle. ... Part 11 - 300 pictures of training and boss fighting. (4th attempt at pushing the update without being a complete fucking moron)

You know, I really fucking hate myself sometimes. I go for two chapters splitting the updates up to make sure I can edit major fuck ups out, and the very second I go "well, I'm pretty sure this update is short enough", I make a big ass mistake and of course, I can't fucking edit it out. It's all the fault of the tiny ass edit window. Because it's so tiny, and the spoilers make it even tinier, it's literaly impossible to place anything below a big image or a quote inside the spoiler, which results in me fucking everything up every time I try to make a joke. God damnit all to hell. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Blistering barnacles. I'll try to fix it now. But this double post is going to stay here to show the world that I am an idiot who can't edit worth beans. Urgh. EDIT: Oh, and as it turns out, I can't delete my posts. I mean, it's fair, I completely understand why that is, but that doesn't stop this from throwing some more salt in an already very salty wound. I'm pissed. Good night, everyone.

Part 10 - Spoooooooooooooooooooooky~

My apologies for the double post, but I forgot to do something and of course, the site won't let me edit the update. Small spoilers of the update ahead, although it's nothing to major. It'll mostly just make you go "oh, Ruben" if you read it.

Lance! The tactician! Where is th-- ...Lance? Lance! Urk... What in the world happened to you? I need to get a healer... I'm here! Lady Elen! Will he be fine? These wounds... dark magic. Will he make it? Answer me! ...yes, I'd say he will. Give me some time. Thank you, Lady Elen. I'm so sorry... if only I... You needn't apologize. You've saved my life two times now. Even if you couldn't save my eye... you've done more than enough for me. Sir Lance... While she took care of your injuries, I found your bandage. Here... ...thank you, Sir Marcus. Could you tell me what happened? Of course... 5 minutes ago Heheh... Rutger the Myrmidon... Clarine the Trobadour... Jerrot of the Ilian mercenaries... the elite of the Lycian army! They have no chance now... I just have to find a way to get rid of the Cleric... Sir. Lance. How is your eye? It doesn't hurt so much anymore, thank you. But that is not why I wanted to talk to you. What is it, then? I've sent your letter. My letter? What do you mean? Lady Elen gave me a letter. She wanted it sent to General Cecilia of Etruria. Its contents were... interesting, to say the least. ...so she sent it... even though I sounded the retreat, like she told me to... she still warned General Cecilia... Accursed honorless wench! She did not keep her word! She said she wouldn't send it! I'm going to break her apart! She will regret crossing me! That is all I need to see. In the name of Pherae and Lycia, I shall-- Out of my way, worm! I've no time for games! GUAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Guh... I must get out of here before the Etrurians arrive... Back to the present... Bastard! I knew something was wrong with him from the very second I met him. You seemed quite happy to take him in... Of course! I pretended to believe his lies! I felt his foul intent was obvious enough, but I wanted to get some proof to confronting him with... I see now, I was foolish... please forgive me, Lance. Your eye... I am to blame. Nonsense. None of us could've known. Let's just keep on moving. Nobody say a thing to Lord Roy. Not yet. He's under enough pressure as it is. That is a wise idea. Indeed. Let's keep this a secret for now. Part 10 - Idiocy.

Part 9 - Death galore! (part III)

Yes! Hahahahah! Die, all of you! Bring forth victory for the true saviors of mankind! GWAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAH! You! Foul man... I knew it! You are a servant of evil! Argh! You startled me, Lady Elen! I shall not stand for this! I will-- You will what, young lady? I will send a letter to Lady Cecilia of Etruria. She's already on her way here to help defeat the rebels. I'm sure she won't have a problem with taking care of you, as well. Accursed-- you have no idea what you're dealing with! Maybe so. But I can see it in your face... you cannot afford to make an enemy of Etruria. Not yet. ... ...very well, you win. Sir Marcus! Sound the retreat! Lord Roy has fallen! W-what?! Quickly, you must get him and the other wounded out of here! There might still be time... At once! How are you feeling, Lance? ...I'd say I'm fine, but I'd be lying. Don't worry about it, Lance. This wasn't your fault. Look, stay here at the camp. We'll go and-- No, Sir Marcus. I'd much rather go and fight. But... These wounds... they are grievous. But I can still fight. I can do this. One last battle for my liege... I want nothing more. ...I can't say I don't understand. Very well. But don't get ahead of yourself, please. I'm truly sorry. I am to blame for this. I'm ready for whatever punishment you've in store for me. Lord Roy wishes to give you one more chance. ...very well. Thank you. ... Did everyone make it out alive? I'm not sure. I was able to get to Lord Roy, and Lance insisted on riding out of the town with him while I covered their retreat. But I don't know about Rutger or Sir Jerrot. Hmm... in that case, we should make haste. They might still be alive. Let us go, then. I'll earn your trust back. I certainly hope so. ... Not a word, you. My powers are not to be trifled with. You'd do well not to anger me further. ... Part 8 - Death galore! (Part II). So, apparently the last part is going to remain fucked. It doesn't matter. It's no more crappy than my FE skills, anyway. However, I would appreciate if you guys could make an effort to push in enough replies to send us to the third page. It's annoying to scroll down with that thing occupying half the thread. I was adviced to split up my posts, so I'll do that. Tell me what you think. I've written the whole thing as one big update, and I'll be pushing them together, so I recommend reading both before moving on to replying and forgetting.

So, you don't know what happens next, do you? I'm looking forward to your reactions to some of the things that'll happen down the line.

I know, and it pisses me off. I tried to fix it like 5 times, but every time, Serenes told me it was impossible to edit the comment because "either it was moved or removed", and, well, that's obviously not true, or "too much time had passed", and considering I tried to edit it 5 seconds after pushing the update... yeah. I sent a message to Eclipse, maybe when she gets some free time from doing actually important moderator things she'll fix my fuck ups for me. Also, yeah, I meant lunch. I'm dumb, okay?

... Lady Elen! Ah! Oh, yes... hello, Sir Tactician... Why are you so flustered? W-well... it's just... war is... So it's war that makes you so nervous. I find that hard to believe. I-- Tell me something. In the last battle, I lost sight of you. It was just a few minutes, but it was enough to make me worry. ... You were spying on me, were you not? Come on, out with it. ... Come now, what sort of monster do you take me for? I assume you saw me... selflessly save that girl's life. Why is that so bad in your opinion? You liar! You're no selfless savior! You haven't been honest to us, I'm sure of it! Really, now? Well, since we're on the subject of being honest, let me remind you of something. You are a Bernian. The princess' lady-in-waiting! That makes you a rather important figure. Now, tell me... What would happen if I were to accuse you of being a spy all along!? !! Lady Guinivere would never-- Oh, she would... believe me, she would. ... But I'm a merciful man. If you keep your mouth shut, I'll let you live... ...you dastard... Now leave me. I need to concentrate. ... ...heh... poor fool... if only she knew... she, and all her comrades, are already doomed! Hahahahahahahahahah! Part 7 - Death galore! (part I) Yes! Yes! I screwed up! You don't all have to say it! Or at least, if you're going to, spice it up! Call me a fool, or something! Jeez! ...I'm just joking. Yeah, I derped big time there. I'm already looking forward to recruiting "Fill" to get that badass "Japanese sword medicine". She not necessary, you got the power of De Beers! But enough of that. We've got preparations to prepare. First, trading shenanigans. And now, let's take a look at the map. Hoo, boy. This map is hard. People are always shitting on Arcadia, but they seem to always forget about this chapter. I can understand why. The human mind tends to block traumatic memories. Psychogenic Amnesia, if you want to sound cultured without actually knowing what you're talking about, unbeknownst to your interlocutor. And you might think "bah, how hard can it be? How strong can the enemies be this early on? Here, take a look at Bern's wyvern riders. They're as fast as a Mercenary, as strong as Wade, have more defense than anybody in the map aside from the beer master, and are quite accurate to boot. And there are three of them! One is stationary, but the others will charge at us the moment the map starts. Right you are, Legance. But how do I wish you weren't. For once, the hyped up enemies actually do live up to their reputation in the gameplay. Oh, and if you thought you could chip them to death? THINK AGAIN, because there are fucking physic Priests! And not just one, but two of them! Dodgy little sons of bougainvillea that will ruin all your attempts at killing the Wyverns in more than one turn. And rest assured, we WILL need more than one turn to kill them. And that's not all! The asshole reinforcements are strong with this one! The chapter pulls all sorts of underhanded tricks to kill people! And that's still not all! There are NPCs here, and neither will they be ignored by the enemy like Clarine, nor do they spawn in a convenient position to be recruited by Roy, because OF COURSE it has to be Roy. And if you thought that was all, think again! Because guess what, this is still a damned Ironman run! If we lose half our army in this chapter, we might as well call it quits, 'cause we're never going to beat what's coming ahead! But at least the boss shouldn't be too much trouble, right? After getting an easy peasy magician boss, I'm pretty sure De Beers, being a fatass and all-- OH COME ON! NOT ANOTHER KNIGHT ON A THRONE! Because OF COURSE it's not a gate! If it was a gate, it would be a little easier, and it would actually make sense geographically speaking! but NOPE! NO REST FOR THE WEARY! THE FATSO IS SITTING ON A RANDOM THRONE IN THE FRONT ENTRANCE OF THE CASTLE! And he has a spear, so you can't even let your chumps get close, lest you risk losing someone right at the end of the map! AND THAT'S STILL-- Nah, that's all, let's get to the plot already. The map begins with De Beers moving aside to let his boss, Raygans, sit on the random throne at the front entrance of Castle Ostia. I can't think of any reason to put that there, other than to make the boss harder to kill. And that's not a very good reason to explain the characters' motivations to place a god damn useless throne in the front gate! Why, Hector? Why is that there!? Was it you? Was it Uther? Was it your parents? But enough of the throne. The Beers speaks to Elegance about how the Ilian mercenaries don't want to join them. Imagine if Zelot were to attack us as well. Thank you, IntSys, for not doing that too. Kaga would have, but hey, one doesn't have to worship absolutely everything a person does. Thankfully, these are the worst mercenaries ever (in a good way, this time), so they refuse to profit from their jobs. Then Legance just lashes out at De Beers for no reason at all. These are some deep, complex villains we've got here, I tell you. I liked the original version of this line better. "He'll laugh at us!" sounded so delightfully pathetic. To be fair, Legance's plan is pretty decent. Too bad he didn't stop to consider that maybe, just maaaybe, the traitors that didn't remain loyal to Hector might not be too loyal to him either. I already showed this, but it begs repeating. Urgh... "As well as the random throne at the top of the stairs. It must not fall into the hands of the enemy! I like sitting here in the mornings with a cup of hot chocolate! They must not take that small pleasure away from me!" The next chapter should be easier than this one, but don't think for a second that Legance is going to pull his punches, either. His chapter's got its own deal of assholeness. Cut to our heroes! These people are bad and deserve to die. Yeah, this whole chapter is disgraceful. I agree with you there, Merlinus. But I'll admit, it was one hell of an intense chapter. I liked that. Ironman runs have that going for them, at least. That said, I wouldn't recommend them to anybody with depression or a heart condition. Jeez. It's been a day since I played this at the time of writing this phrase, but my heart is still pumping. Too bad they probably will be slaughtered. Except for Zelot. Oh, that reminds me, I'd forgotten one last punch in the gut from the chapter: if Zelot dies, wave Maltet goodbye, because he's required to be alive to access the Ilia gaiden chapter! This dick move, of course, isn't exclusive to this chapter, but everywhere else you can just bench him if you're too afraid of losing him. Which leads us to the conclusion that this chapter is the worst thing ever. Hahahahahahah. HAHAHAHAHAAH! HELP, HE SAYS! Poor fool. If only he knew just how much danger he's going to get into trying to talk to them... I apologize for the bitterness. I'm just glad I'm not the one taking the blame for this chapter. It's just a character I made up. ...now I regret being me in my commentary. That means I cannot shield myself in any way. Wait a minute, you spoke to them? And returned to us? On your own? Without them? Merlinus could've brought those bastards here to automatically join at the beginning of the chapter. ... ... ... ...Merlinus...! That would've worked better if I was still old Barlowe, but, eh, he's still my profile picture I suppose... Whoa. Disdainful much, Your Highness Guinivere? That is not what she asked you! Accursed senile fart... this is the worst offense you've ever commited! Not this, the other thing! My thoughts still dwell on that, okay? I seriously didn't realize the implications of that line until now, after playing through the disaster that was this chapter! So forgive me for being a liiiiiiiiittle bitter! No, they aren't. Less so thanks to the damned merchant! Oh, what an asshole. If he wasn't such an important character to the plot, I'd kill him off this instant! In fact, I will! (And so, I opened paint.net and killed him off right after writing those lines) There you go. I apologize for the gore. It's just... doggone it. Urgh! This chapter is all his fault! This is his ghost. Making an actual ghostly sprite would be almost as tedious as FE12's cropping sessions, so let's just say his ghost is extremely similar to his living version. So much so, in fact, everyone else thinks he's still alive. But he isn't. Not in my heart. No, don't worry, Narcian won't spawn with a bunch of level 20 Wyvern Lords in turn 25 or anything like that. Thank God for that. It's probably the one punch this chapter pulled. Still, this is a great threat story-wise! How are our heroes and the ghost going to avoid death by Wyvern? Why, by using Roy's connections! Flaaaashbaaaaack~ What cursor? What are you talking about? What cursor?!? I can't see anything there! Yeah! I do! I suppose that's true... I know how to move my legs, thank you... Yes, I can see him. You don't need to state the obvious. HP? Game over? What is this nonsense? I'm confused... Stop stating the obvious! I've eyes! My rapier? Ah... I can't use magic! I thought we'd established that the day I failed to cast a simple fire spell! That wasn't a very believable scream... But I still don't know what a cursor is! End of flashback! That was too easy... but it was worth it. And if we don't have Etruria solve this Lycian matter, there'll be no Lycia to not be taken seriously again! ...exactly! What he said! Why do people dislike this guy? He might be rather boring, but at least he isn't a bumbling idiot people worship for no reason. He's actually got brains to back his success up. His performance as a unit is an entirely different issue, don't even bring it up. I bet he's going to object aga-- ...oh, my... is that... Merlinus... agreeing with Roy...? Dear God... but why would they be so merciful? Oh. Right. This is coming right after Merlinus just casually mentioned he spoke to the mercenaries and then failed to lead them to us. The letter has to make it all the way to Etruria, then Cecilia has to pull the necessary strings, and then they have to make it all the way here. Yeah, that's not happening. Yeah... hopefully. So, we begin by moving forward. I already regret it. And I don't even know if I've done anything wrong yet! Lance is okay, at least. But he won't be for very long. The Wyvern is coming. Here are Treck and Zelot. I'll delve deeper into their statistical potentiality and actuality later. For now, let's watch them appear at the worst possible location. They mention that Noah is at the arena. He actually appears at a more sensible location, but he has to be recruited by Roy like the others, so by the point he appears, Roy is bound to be as far away from him as he is from these two when they first appear. Heh heh... you're in mortal danger! Hah hah hah hah! Your sorry lives depend on me and my strategies! Hahahahah! ...what is he doing...? It's as if he is responding to voices I cannot hear... Elimine help us... Yeah! Don't even wait for us! One more turn would've been enough! But nope, everyone has a death wish in this chapter. - Zerrot is a more powerful Marcus, at a time when Marcus is supposed to be falling off. My Marcus, though, is stronger, more skilled, and luckier than the guy while barely losing out in defense and HP and matching his speed. What I'm trying to tell you is, we won't be needing Jelot, because my Marcus already does the job. - Treck is often considered the worst of the Cavaliers, and really, he is. While Noah at least has his high sword rank going for him, Treck is just an underleveled, run-of-the-mill lance Cavalier with meh bases and meh growths. He's usable, but there certainly are better options. This means I will probably be using him. Now, shall we get to the missing? Yeah. That's an extremely awkward position. You know why? Because these bumbling idiots wouldn't land a hit if their lives depended on it! And guess what: they actually do! In any case, let's worry about that when it becomes a problem. For now, we are given free foreshadowing. Merlinus died again. Hmph. That was faster than I would've liked. He could've drawn away some m-- ... ... My literal reaction to this was just to shrug my shoulders with an expression of resignation and just mild frustration. What can I say, I knew this would happen. This, however, I wasn't expecting. And considering losing Chad would mean losing not just one but two units, I jumped on my seat a little. Up north, Wreck is being trecked. Oh, sorry, I meant Dreck is being Trecket. Uh... But at least Roy is doing well, isn't he? Alas, 'twas not to be. At least he's alive. I have, quite literally, three competent units in my team. Lance was okay too, but... well, no longer. Oh my God, can it be? Have we survived a turn? ...well, not Lance, but... ... ...I don't know about you guys, but I had a very lukewarm reaction to Lance's death. The guy had awful defenses, which made it a flying risk to use him at all. And, well, I really didn't have anybody else to put there. ...oh, what am I saying, I just screwed up big time like always! Why can't I be good?! I love this series! Why can't I be good at it?! Don't I deserve some mercy, having decided to show the world my failings?! ...urkk... At least Jealrot is doing his job okay. Suddenly, here's Noah. Who has finally noticed he's got job to do. But first, he berates Fir for challenging him. Second, arena tutorials! Because, I mean, it's not as if your boss and colleague are out there risking their necks! "I'm braindead and need obvious facts to be spelled out to me! I'm a generic millennial girl!" Okay, okay, I'm sorry for that. Again. I don't know why, I'm not even angry in real life, but today I'm feeling like being an asshole in the LP. Forgive me, okay? It's chapter 7, FE6. I deserve some leeway. "Please, keep on talking. I never did like Treck anyways." Actually, their support is really good. Go read it. Some call it the best support in the game, and for good reason. But they're no fighters! They may be strong when it comes to swinging pickaxes around, but if they know nothing about swordfighting, you're going to make mince meat out of them in seconds, and learn nothing! Look, something that was actually explored further in FE7! ...if you promoted Bartre and trained him up to level 5 (which, by the way, isn't even his starting level in this game. Way to go, IntSys)... ...and brought him to chapter 31x... ...and made him fight, but not kill, the random swordfighter that popped out of the arena and didn't even have the decency to mention his name so as to give players a clue... ...and made them support together, despite Karla being an awful unit with just barely more playable time than Renault... ...and did all this in Hector mode, because it didn't work in Eliwood's for some reason. I said rant over, damnit, me! Shut up and go get your units killed already! How very cute. Ha indeed! Now could you please move it? And so, Fir comes out of the arena, leaves the map, and then Noah comes out as well. Noah is probably better than Treck, because while his growths are worse, his bases are sightly better, and he's set up to be used as a sword Cavalier, with a con of ten that allows him to wield steel swords with ease, and a good sword rank at C. He's decent. I've used him, and while his growths do hurt him, he's definitely very usable. Time to recruit these two. Treck needs to put a few kilometers between his throat and the Wyvern Rider, and I need Jerrot to save Roy's sorry ass. Treck might not be such a good unit, but personality wise? He's good. The guy doesn't give a damn about anything, it's hilarious. Excellent. Now get the hell away from here before the Bernians destroy you. Never mind, Roy demands to conversate! Sounds reasonable. Still what? Just imagine, what if Roy managed to convince Treck that he needs to check in with his commander and he remained green for one more turn... uuurrrk! On second thought, don't imagine it. I just had goosebumps... There we go, now we've got Treck on our side. And here comes Zearrot. Concise and to-the-point. That's Zealot for you. Although, I don't know why he'd leave negotiations with us to Treck of all people. Now, Treck, run away. Jerrot, grab Roy and run. Marcus will cover your retreat. Everyone else, pick a god and pray. Especially you, Rutger. Yes, yes, I know, I know. Now, let's kill this guy. Or at least die trying. Place your bets, everyone. If Wade misses, we're done for. Ah, sweet Elimine, at last! Some luck! What is this doing here? Imguuuuuuuuuur! I was wondering where this'd gone... I reuploaded the screencap thinking it had gone missing! In any case. I don't think Elen is going to survive this, so please, hand over your valuables and prepare for the end of all things. Never mind, that asshat cannot reach you. We're good. Goodness gracious... but at least one of the Wyverns is down. Our guys are attacked, but to no avail. I always liked Jerrot's palette. It's a toss-up between him and this game's Marcus for my favourite GBA Paladin sprite, really. Too bad about my Marcus being far better than his competitor. More missing. Not even the Wyvern Riders are a match for the old-timer! Rutger, on the other hand... What can I say. You were a useful sacrificial lamb. Now be done fading away, and let's move on to more important matters. Like this asshole Or Noah thankfully moving to a forest. So long as he stays in the woods, he'll have a chance. Chad's going to leave that corner. I do not want to lose him. Raigh's my favourite unit, and I will use him, whether this game likes it or not. But first, how about my 31425626425th miss? Marcus may not be in any danger, but he cannot really harm the Wyvern either. This is the risky part: having nowhere to place Roy safely, I send Jerrot in while still carrying him. But it's Jerrot. I'm sure he'll be all right. Agh! Not the flashbangs again! The light fades to show Dorothy finally getting a good level up. Kudos to you. I've not much else to do with these guys, so let's just visit this village. I honestly have no idea who this woman is talking about. Rutger? But no, that wouldn't make any sense... he's a "man dying in the street", for sure, but not "a while back", that's for sure. Okay, so Saul can take a hit. Therefore... ...uh, Clarine will lure one of the cavaliers away from the others. This isn't going to end well, is it? The Ilian Mercenaries all take some punishment. But it's nothing that can take down the likes of them, am I right? Oh, no, that's bad news. That Mage's got an elfire tome, and Treck has no resistance. Down south, OH NO JERROT GETS DOUBLED, ABORT, ABOOORT! RETREAT! DUCK! DO A BARREL ROLL! NOOOOOOOOOOOO MALTEEEEEET! Now I'll have to take the Sacae route if I want to win the game... If we survive, that is! Yes! Yes! Roy's our boy! Roy's-- Fucking DEAD! ... ... So, I don't think I've addressed this situation in this LP. What if the Lord dies after somebody else also bit the dust? Well, in the last LP, the rule was supposed to be "I kill them off as soon as possible", but really, the only times it happened, I either used them strategically as a sacrificial lamb, or didn't have the heart to kill them off and just "honorably discharged them". There's also the fact that I can't win if Jerrot's dead. And I think, after all, you guys would like to see me win. So yeah. If the guy lives the next time around, I'll just bench him for life. I'll wait 'til after the chapter is actually over to add him, Lance and Rutger to the death count. Just in case I lose any of them again. Me being who I am, it's perfectly possible. Probable, even. ... I lost Jerrot. Do you guys understand what that entails? I'm so bad, I lost a friggin' Jeigan early on. Christ. I need to lie down. See you guys next time. Death count: Bors Wolt Deke Lugh Reset count: 2 Merlinus death count: 6

So you say you are a tactician. The best there is, Sir Marcus. We've met somebody who claimed to be precisely that before, and he was... far from "the best", to say the least. It's perfectly understandable that you would be cautious... I hear that my predecessor had a young child killed. Truly a tragedy. But believe me, under my guidance, that shan't happen ever again. I hope you are right. ... And who might you be? That's Lady Elen, princ-- ...goodbye! Hold on! Lady Elen! I apologize... I don't know what got over her. She must be having a bad day. Don't worry about it. I shall introduce myself properly to her and the rest of the arm if you decide to keep me around. We certainly hope you prove to be good enough to earn a place in this army. It's not as if he can be any worse than the other buffoon! Hah hah hah hah! Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! ... Part 6 - Wagner's last opera. What the actual crap? So many replies! I should kill children off more oft-- Sorry, sorry, I won't! Don't worry your pretty little heads.

Well, I think that went well enough. Yeah... Lord Roy was forgiving. I'm glad for that. That said, I think you should be more careful from now on. Our ragtag group will break apart if you keep on destroying everything that keeps it together. Come now, I'm just warming up! I'll stop doing so badly very soon. ...so you have been "warming up" since the last war? I find that hard to believe. Wrys, if not even you believe in me, then who will? Relax, I'm just teasing you. You can do it. Ergh, in some way... Heh. Thanks, Wrys. I knew I could count on you. Now, I think we could use another healer right about now... do you think y-- No. ... Sorry, kiddo. I am still building my power back up. All that misuse in the last war drained it all! Eh, understandable, I suppose. ...phew... Sorry? My old bones are just tired from all this climbing. Ah, of course. That, too, is understandable. ... Part 5 - Marcus is an Oifey. Just my luck. As soon as I make a rage post announcing a hiatus, I finally get Imgur working. It still doesn't excuse the fact that it took me almost twenty attempts, but at least I think I've found a way to make it work more consistently from now on. Either that or I just lucked out. Fingers crossed the first option is true. But just in case, do recommend me a backup image hosting site.

Jesus fuckin' Christ, Imgur is the worst. I've tried to upload this update's screencaps about 15 times and every single time, the site screws up the order and refuses to do what I tell it to do. Can anyone recommend me another site? I've tried Flickr and Google Photos, but I couldn't figure out a way to upload all the images directly to an album or separate folder for convenient access like in Imgur. Both sites, unless I missed something, required me to upload all the pictures to my profile and then painstakingly put them manually in an album. That's all I need. I don't care if the site has no community, or if the community sucks, or if the design is ugly, or anything like that: the only thing I seek is the ability to upload my updates without it taking days because it won't feel like it. Until then, the LP's basically going on the world's most ridiculous (and, hopefully, shortest) hiatus, because Imgur just died on me for this last update and I don't feel like wasting any more time with it. No kidding, I lost count, but it's easily up to 20 failed attempts to use Imgur's most basic function. EDIT: So I think I've found a good site. With any luck, I should have the update ready soon enough. EDIT 2: Happy new year to everybody. I almost forgot in my rage.