Saint Rubenio

Arran: To find my end... in battle... was my one true wish... I love Arran's character. Despite being an Archanean, both his personality and his backstory are great, and how he actually develops between the two books. I find it interesting how dying before the conclusion of book 2 is a better ending for his character than surviving both books, unlike most others. Think about it: the guy hides how bad his sickness really is so that Marth doesn't send him home, and keeps overextending himself to serve him as he believes he deserves. And in the end, when his weakness and recklessness finally catch up to him, he's happy, for he knows his journey for redemption has finally come to an end. He's finally earned his own forgiveness. It's a simple quote, but it encapsulates this perfectly. My headcanon is that he recklessly charges at Lang, and when the latter runs him through with his lance, he grabs it and prevents the foul General from pulling it out, sacrificing himself to give someone else the chance to bring him down. The perfect end for a Jeigan: to die Jeiganing. Lang is also the point in the game when he truly starts to drop off (Sirius, I know, but he can still hold his own for a few chapters after Sirius joins), so I think it's a good moment for his "canonical" death. Raigh: Hngh! In this world... there are only fools... Raigh's quote is another one I'm rather fond of. It's badass, and it fits his character. I like to think that he's refering to himself as a fool too. Valter: Urggh... Gaaaaah! I find this one hilarious. Valter, the pompous murderer, the poetic psycopath, the pretentious manhunter! Valter, the great moonstone of Grado! Valter, he who shall bring death to the twins of Renais, and doom to the whole continent! ...dies with a pathetic scream. He doesn't even get a chance to cry a little like Narcian. Nope. He just screams and dies. How ironic. Lyon: Where... where did I go wrong? Oh, Lyon, where indeed. He may've liked to pretend he was in control throughout Ephraim's route, but only in his death he realised, he was mad. No matter how much he tried to think he wasn't, that's sad, unquestionable truth.

...you're sure you don't know where he is? No... but my boss left with a letter for him and some others. He left? He left where? I dunno, he just told me he'd be leaving and then he left. I thought to ask him where he was going, but he left, so... ... Well, if you don't have any more questions, I think I'll uh... mm... zzzz... zzzz... ... ...what do you mean, you don't know him? I mean I don't know him. I joined this army just a little while ago. I've never seen that Ruben you speak of. Hmm, I see... But that's enough of that. I am planning on building a new village in the Western Isles. It'll be for those left homeless by the war. I want you to help. ...what... Yeah, we could use people with a knack for magic like you. You could use that magic of yours to lift boulders, or wood, or any other heavy objects. ...I think I'll pass... You will help me? Thank you! Screw you. Is that clear enough for you? ... Hey-- LORD ROY! IT'S A TRAP! I OBJECT, LORD ROY! ...what in the world are you doing? Why, practicing, young fellow! Hey, why don't you help me with my vocal exercises? It's easy, you just have to pretend you're Lord Roy trying to lead the army, and I'll-- Leave me alone, crazy old fool! C'mon, somebody has to know something... somebody who isn't a complete idiot! ...I'm sorry, may I help you? I couldn't help but notice your discombobulation... is there something I can do? What, you? Axe guys never have a brain, that's why they can only use such a lowly, filthy, mindless sort of weapon. I've had my fair share of idiots today, I don't need anymore. I was just... Shoo! Go away! Can't you understand such simple commands? Must I also teach you how to leave? Fine, then: just use your damn legs and go back the way you came! ...uh... Urrrrrghhhhh! I've no time for this nonsense! I... and he's off... what did I ever do to him? Part 26 - Plot-heavy Pandemonium.

Likewise. For both statements. I have no idea, but... it's still no Athena x Etzel and I'm sorry for all the injokes I should probably stop now. Yeah... toooootally... Maybe he wants to ruin Lycia in order to earn Daddy's love? If so, he failed miserably. Friendly reminder that this guy is called Glass. Glass. People tend to obsess over the PEERLESS SKILLZ meme, while failing to appreciate the fact that his name is FUCKING GLASS. Father Teresa is an awesome name. Also, fun fact: this guy is a younger version of Oates, a random boss from FE6. Don't believe me? Here's Oates' portrait, courtesy of the wiki. He obviously grew older in the 20 years between FE6 and 7 (as well as a beard), but the hair's the same, the clothing style's similar, they're both blind and skilled with magic, as revealed later. See? This is what I was talking about earlier. You could've made a pun with his name, but instead opted to go for the tired meme. Gloss, Dayni. For more convenience when listening to music, I have the auto-repeat option enabled by default in VLC. This means I'm currently listening to "TEH ANIME TEH ANIME TEH ANIME TEH ANIME TEH ANIME" in a loop. He still has 6 defense. He also still has 6 defense. I imagine if Kent and Sain (and Pent) were added to FEHeroes, it'd be quite hilarious. "To beat this map, I sent Sain to help Kent kill Cain, and then sent Kent to help Sain slay Pent". Now try saying that 5 times fast. He got played hard. So hard, he shattered. Hmmm... Yes, I can definitely see it. Whoa, bipolar much, Father? Or maybe... maybe he knows Hatchet! And Hatchet knows about the liquor* cabinet! Plottwist! You need to make the priest a character in your own crappy fanfic. So that's why Oates joined the Bernian army... he lost his job after Lyn took the Mani Katti, and desperate for money, he joined the Bernian army, using his peerless magical skills to climb ranks until in FE6 he was a trusted commander, enough to be sent to retrieve the Forblaze that Athos totally didn't take with him when he died. Yeah, it's not like literally anyone with an S rank in swords could use it, amirite? Sigh... This line is where I got the idea to pointlessly extend Vernon Lundgren's chin, by the way. That, and Dursley's many chins had to be hidden somehow. Don't forget murdering all of his dates. Both his nose and his chin are so pointy and protruding, he probably killed them all trying to kiss them. Hm, nah, Lundgren's head is far from being round. Oh, you do that thing professionals do of keeping multiple savefiles, too. I don't. I probably should. Not in this game or thread, no.

Death before defeat! 11. Raigh and Hugh may not come within 100 meters of eachother. 12. On second thought, make that last thing count for Lugh as well. We... don't want Hugh to confuse him for Raigh again. 13. Clarine, this is war. Stop asking for a palace. Just be happy you get a tent all for yourself. Saul and Dorothy have to share one, and it's... really not working out very well. 14. Please stop asking Karel about his past. He's had enough. 15. Stop mindlessly praising him, as well. He's even more sick of that. 16. For crying out loud, somebody make Juno understand that she's not fit for fighting in the frontlines anymore! One of these days, Zelot's going to have a heart attack because of her recklessness!

You there! The old guy! My, that's a rather rude thing to say. I've questions for you. Straight to the point, eh? Very well. How long-- I'll listen to you after you say "please". Hmph... I've questions for you. Please. Much better. Now, go on. ...how long have you been under Roy's orders? I met him a few months before all this started. Then you must know of the first tactician of the Lycian Army. A man named Ruben, apparently. ... Do you know his whereabouts? Well, I'm... not sure. Why do you wish to know? My brother is dead, and it's his fault. I must find him. ... There's no sense in hiding it, old man. I've been snooping around. I know he's your friend. You know where he is. ...I don't know what you're talking about. But I know this: if you're already seeking revenge at this age... you won't make it to adulthood. Who are you to judge me!? Your friend murdered my brother, and so many others, yet you would defend him?! You got it wrong! Bandits killed your brother-- --Because your friend didn't care about his soldiers' lives. He's just as responsible for it as the brigands were! ...let it go, kid... this will do you no good. Very well, then. If you won't help me, I'll just have to find him on my own. And then... Don't do this, kid! Think about your brother! Would he have agreed with this senseless bloodthirst of yours?! ... I know why he joined us. I know what sent him to his death, and it wasn't Ruben. It was his desire to avenge those killed by the war. He wanted revenge, but all he got was an untimely death. And you're following him, straight to the grave! Is that truly what you want? Do you truly think that's what he would've wanted for you? ...shut up. Shut up! I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm leaving! Hold on! ...oh, dear... this is bad news. I must speak to Ruben... Part 25 - Spelunking.

Ah, LPer in-jokes. Hahahahahah... eggscellent. Go right ahead. I, too, am not that fond of him. Relax, this is Lyn's mode. It doesn't really matter until, what, Eagler's chapter? Everything prior to that is tutorial land. And even after that, it's only marginally less tutorial landish. Forget all the screencaps you want, at least until Eagler. It's strange because IntSys intended for Mark to be a self-insert, not an actual character like Bruce Lee Brewsley Damnit Dayni, another "r" and the pun would've been perfect Bewsley, so we have a guy from the XXIth century hanging around with a woman from the Middle Ages of Anime. I have but one thing to say. They... might not be too bad of a match, after all. Amazing. 2.8951797485495/2.99999999999999991 I like how Lyn's worried Sain might be after them. I mean, I would be too if I had boobs. Well, considering her facial expression... no, I don't think it did. Hey, it's not that bad. You could go the entire LP without showing people's bases, like some others. I would use you-know-who whose name begins with an "L", but you know what? I'll let you do it yourself. Fireemblem.png much? Oh, well. Better luck next time. It's also the first time I've ever noticed him there. Why does he wear tree-coloured robes? Not going to correct you there. The idea of Hausen going senile and just now remembering he had children at some point is oddly fitting as well as hilarious. Perhaps because Banditman isn't exactly a bacteria, and thus can't really make somebody ill? Bwahahah... sorry. Well, they got horses. They can rescue Lyn and Chester in order to save turns while proceeding to the next chapter. Efficiency! Magnificent pun, but you pulled a Saul there and forgot a period. Now, you don't wanna be like Saul in any way, do you? Well, that was fun. I hope I didn't go too overboard with my reply. Looking forward to the next update!

Saul, the guy who uses religion to get laid, then judges a guy for doing more or less the same. The guy who's commited all twelve deadly sins at some point. The guy who thinks with his dick. The worst Priest ever! Saul!

Hey, I'm not judging you, I was just joking. Sorry if it didn't seem that way.

Definitely looks like a wonderful babysitter, but... she ships somebody with the worst person in the world. That... worries me. Regardless, I'd say yes.

Ah, at long last! Oh, boy. That can only end well, as we both know. I expect great things out of you. Yes, I too know what it is to wake up screaming those words. I love the MC already. I don't think so, no. Also, wrong Marc, you mean Mark. Oi! How dare you disrespect the man who's, rather bafflingly, a meme! Also, this makes me happy for you, but on a personal level, it angers me. That could've been MY level! Maybe she just claimed it for herself. It's much bigger than her little, single-tile home. Not to mention, that person appears to have lost their memories. Agreed, but this game does not do her justice. Good ol' Wallace. Please tell me you'll use him. Boss abuse Lundgren if you have to, but please use the Silver General. It's already good, don't worry. Please, ignore this junk at the end. Mobile phones suck for this sort of thing, but the alternative was to wait 5 hours to get to my computer.

Hmm... Matthis. Let's spice things up. Whatever class you feel he'd be less bad in.

Gameplay > Story > Soundtrack > Visuals While I would definitely take a great game with a bad story over a bad game with a great story, having a good story is a very good bonus. Games aren't a bad tool for storytelling, and unlike what some people seem to believe (cough cough David Cage cough cough), you don't have to sacrifice everything that makes a game a game in order to make a good story. RPGs are the best examples of this, but there are also plenty of examples in other genres. It doesn't even need to be the main part of the game: Rogue Legacy's story is very secondary, yet the plottwist at the end (which I won't spoil here) blew my mind, and got me even more motivated to try and defeat the final boss. Having great gameplay isn't necessarily incompatible with having an inmersive world, interesting, well-written characters and a good, compelling plot. So, yeah, gameplay first, then story. If a game has plenty of the first and enough of the second to get me invested, then it's perfect. If it doesn't, well, so long as the gameplay is great, then I'm fine with it as well. I also appreciate a good soundtrack. Heck, I've come to know about some games through their soundtrack: I started to play Castlevania: Order of Eclessia after listening to the personal theme of my profile picture's character. I liked it that much. Great music always makes things better, and while it's not a gamebreaking issue if the music sucks, it's definitely an issue. Terraria is the first game that comes to my mind when talking about this: I liked that one, but I disliked the music so much, I muted it and for the longest time, just listened to my own music while playing it. Of course, this is all nothing more than my opinion. Then, at the very bottom, are the visuals. Good graphics are nice, but as long as I can make out what's going on in one way or another, I'm good, and I'm certainly not going to buy a game just for its graphics.

Samson trying to kill Sheena in FE12 is, in my opinion, even more egregious than most of the other Matthis syndrome cases in the Archanea series, because while I can sort of wrap my head around Astram not recognizing Midia (Paladins use helmets in combat, after all), Matthis panicking and throwing javelins at everything that moves, Wendell just trying to defend himself (even though he clearly attacks first most of the time) and Navarre being insane, Samson just has no excuses. The only people in the throne room are himself and Sheena (so it's not like he could've confused her for an Archanean General or something), he knows Sheena, Sheena knows him, they're in very good terms (heck, it's made very clear that they're in love), neither of them are established to have mental problems, Samson's a level-headed, experienced warrior... yet Samson will gleefully try to murder Sheena if she doesn't speak to him inmediately after being recruited by Marth. I just cannot think of any reason to excuse such behavior. Not even a lame, easily countered reason, like the ones I came up with in the first paragraph. I've got nothing. Seeing how they fixed Sheena being able to kill her own troops in the remake, it's rather baffling that they'd forget about this. Was it so hard to make it so Samson would turn blue at the same time as Sheena? I'm not saying any of the other Matthis syndrome cases aren't stupid, they very much are, but this is even more so.

Hey, I'm just gonna edit this since it won't allow me to do it in the original post. I really should make an effort to proofread my shit better. I make a joke with a gigantic, obnoxious image, and then I forget to write half of the punchline. I impress myself sometimes... only way this could get worse is if now I get banned because bikinis. I hope that doesn't come to pass...

Part 24 - Through the fire and flames.

I'm fond of calling Marcus "Marcus Baracus". You know, B.A. Baracus from the A team? In Spain he was named M.A. Baracus ("mala actitud" obviosly doesn't start with a B like "bad attitude"), so not only does it fit, but it rhymes and sounds good. I dunno, I just like it. I've also always liked pronouncing Wrys' name like a non-english speaking spaniard would pronounce it. Something along the lines of "Guhrruis". I almost died the day I was with some friends playing games on my wii U, and one of them stumbled upon my Wrys mii and said his name exactly like that. Gilliam is another character I gave a nickname to, that being "Gili", short for "gillipollas", which basically means "dumbass". Don't get me wrong, I like Gilliam, but the name was too perfect to pass.

... I... I won't allow you to... uarrk! Let go... let go of me-- of you! Don't you dare... and with my body, no less... don't! ...? Haark... you cannot stop... a man in... auuruguhh...! Nooooo...! Filthy urchin! L-Lady Echidna! What? Here. You dropped this during the battle. Oh, my right pendant! I've been looking for it. Thanks... Uh... Ruben. That's a man's name, isn't it? It's... complicated. Besides, so is Echidna. Hmph. Touché. Well, see you around, Ruben. Yeah, of course. ...why, you... why didn't you tell me all you wanted to do was to give her back her pendant?! I thought you knew! We share a brain! Our minds are not one. Eh, good to know, although five minutes earlier wouldn't have hurt. Hmph... but then, what were you saying back there? With that "a man in..."? I don't even know what I was saying! I was wrestling myself! How was I supposed to think my words through when my hands are trying to break my own nose?! ... Part 23 - Dragonforce. You beat me to the punch. It's not much of a risk, really. In the DS games, the arena is neigh impossible to use, but here? It's extremely easy. Here, take a gander. I didn't use this screencap in the update, but this is the closest she came to dying, and all I had was press B and it was over. So long as you remember not to bet over 750 gold, and to retreat as soon as the character's in danger of dying, there isn't the slightest chance of losing anybody. That's why I felt it was a little cheaty, although my decision to promote her at level 19 eases my mind somewhat. I thought BS did as well. As far as I know, no, it doesn't. I think that's a stretch of a pun. The man isn't joking around, stop him. Being a tyrant, killing innocents by working them to death at the mines... that's all fine and dandy, but making puns!? Unacceptable! The Castor of lecherous priests trying to preach at someone. Least it's less horrifying than some real people. That moment when you realise the only reason he's not as bad as real people is that he's not real. Also Saul, we need to talk. Periods matter. You need to take them seriously. Periods are so underrated. Are we sure that he's not about to have the horse attack? Rear Orlo in the stomuch? That would be badass, actually. I am concerned? Maybe she's been possessed? I can't tell for certain. She might be, she might not. Well, only time will tell... Next time, it's Ein time! I need to not reply so much. Nonsense. Why, this reply was shorter than your previous ones! I want more! Humour me!

Hahahah! I shan't let the young ones surpass me yet! COME AT ME! FOR MY HONOR AS A KNIGHT OF PHERAE!!! Marcus looks awfully happy today... Eh, let him be. If it helps him win us the battle... ... Is something the matter, Lance? ...no, it's nothing... I'm just thinking... what it could've been... ... Part 22 - Tragedy. Before we proceed further, I'd like to address something I'm sure many want to know: yes, I couldn't think of anything better for this part's intro take a look at this. This is a picture of my late kitty, may she rest in peace. If you direct your eyes to your right, you'll see Nightmare. For those who aren't aware, Nightmare is a very basic editor for FE. Those're Marcus's growths. As you can see, they're untouched. I know, it's weak proof, you could just say "BUT YOU EDITED THEM OFF-SCREEN!". Quite honestly, considering how astronomically blessed he is, I would think that as well. All I can say is, I didn't edit anything, he's great on his own, and I couldn't be any happier about it. Now, on to the replies.

Wrys! Ah... Ruben, right? How are you feeling? Not too bad. The bandages are annoying, but at least I don't have to around looking like a mummy. Guess this clumsy piece of cloth is good for something. Must you be so disrespectful? What if Sir Lance or Sir Jerrot heard what you just said? With my mouth, no less! Lance and Jerrot aren't here, are they? No harm done. Anyway... Wrys, I wanted to talk to you about something. Yes? You're abusing your powers. Now, that's not fair... You are. You've saved me, Lord Roy and everyone else a few times now. And I couldn't be any more thankful. Yet... I worry for you, my friend. Come now, I'll be fine... No you won't, if you keep this up. You looked seriously hurt when you came to rescue us. ...my back was just acting up, is all. Nonsense. He is right. You must not push your limits further, lest you risk breaking them. ...in war, all have to make some sacrifices. I can't believe you just said that. Just, try not to die, will you, Wrys? You're getting too old for this. Dying is not on top of my list of priorities, don't worry. Good. I mean, what would I do without you? What indeed... I cannot go letting you roam freely, now can I? I wouldn't if I were you. Anyway, that's all. Now... Now we must speak about last night. I couldn't sleep at all! Why in the world were you moving us around so much? I was unconfortable! How can you girls sleep at night!?! I just couldn't find a single position in which these didn't-- Oh, you bastard... Not again!! I may be old, but this... this is quickly getting older than even me... learn to live together already! We have no idea when we are going to be able to fix this, if it is even possible at all! ... ...yessir... Part 21 - The greatest boss.

Merlinus! Do you have a vulnerary to spare? Well, yes, I think I do... is your eye acting up? No, it's not me. Father Wrys isn't feeeling too well. Oh, my! Give me a minute... hm... Aha, here. If he needs anything else, please do come see me. Thank you. How are you feeling, Father? ...desperate. I do not know if I can handle this situation I am in. Well, feel free to tell me. I may only be a crippled knight, but perhaps I could help in some way. Well, let me tell you a metaphor to... exemplify the situation I am in. Very well. Let us say, hypothetically speaking, that two different people were inside the same body. How would you separate them again? ...well... I'm sorry, I don't get what it means. Please explain... There is nothing to explain. I lied. That was not a metaphor. That was exactly the situation I am in. ... ... ... ... Part 20 - Goin' Nord. None of you wished me a happy birthday. I'm disappointed in you all. As punishment, I've had fun these days and as a result, the update's been slightly delayed. I hope you all suffered throughout these days of not getting to see me suck at Fire Emblem. Nah just joking, please don't leave the thread, I crave for your attention!

In hindsight, this looks fucking atrocious. But hey, this time I have my shoulder pads! Part 19 - FE6 chapter 10 except it's actually chapter 11.

Chapter 22, FE12/3 book 2. Chapter 21 is a pretty good map with multiple things to do (get the Starlight from Michalis, recruit him in FE12, final arena and statbooster secret shop), and 24 is a really good final map in my eyes (read, unlike half the other final maps in the series, it has more to it than "spend 2 turns pummeling the final boss" and is actually quite challenging). I can also give 23 a pass, despite it being rather bland (dragons and Sorcerers, dragons and Sorcerers), because Gharnef and the Aum had to be taken care of somehow, and if you're like me and don't like the chapter, it's extremely easy to warpskip. However, chapter 22 just shouldn't exist. It has no importance to the plot at all (if I recall correctly, both the opening and the ending of the chapter are "Lord Marth, more stairs!"), it cannot be warpskipped because the throne is inside a locked room, it's even more boring than chapter 23 (dragons and more dragons, with the occasional siege tome Sorcerer. At least in chapter 23, the narrow hallways made it harder to reach the Sorcerers before they could nuke your units, and there were multiple Sorcerers standing close to one another. Here, they are on their own and within Paladin range) and the only side objective is getting the treasure (the only new unit, Nagi, recruits herself at the beginning of the chapter), which, by the way, is painfully uninteresting (effective weaponery against dragons, if I'm not mistaken. Having the regalia and all the remaining effective weapons from the earlier dragon arc, these are just not worth the trouble). It's not even good for getting some experience, because it comes so late into the game! It's simply an unavoidable waste of time, and the main reason I usually skip 23. After the borefest that is 22, I just don't feel like going through 23. It's not quite as horrendous as FE6's chapter 24, but that one had a semblance of an excuse for its existance in Jahn's exposition. This one's the definition of "filler". And bad one, at that.

No, I'm sorry, the new update isn't up yet. It's just, I haven't laughed this hard at something in a while. I mean it. There's no way I was going to wait days before telling you that. My highest regards to you, Dayni. Please keep it up.

Father Wrys? Ah, hello, Lady Elen. How is your day going? Not bad, thank you... I'm just happy we haven't gotten into another fight yet. That might change at any moment, though... are you coping with everything all right? I think so. Thank you for your concern. I wanted to ask you a question. And what may it be? You've experience with staves, have you not? Why aren't you helping us? I'm not trying to offend you, I just... No offense taken, fret not. The truth is, I have been in far too many wars... I have taken many a wound. I have seen people die before my eyes. I have witnessed families be torn apart. Countries ruined. Villages razed to the ground. Misery. Tragedy. Despair. ... I will not just stand and watch as war rages on, but... I fear my body and especially my mind would not be able to take fighting in the frontlines again. I hope you can forgive me... Of course I forgive you! I... completely understand. I really do. Thank you. ...my, that got depressing quite fast, did it not? Here, have some tea and cookies! Thank you... Munch, munch. Part 18 - Man of manliness.