Le Communard Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Yesterday night, I woke up to an astonishing sight. My dog was sitting at the foot of my bed, whining, and there was the corpse of a burglar on the floor with a large chunk torn out of his throat and a loaded pistol an inch away from his lifeless hand. Naturally, I was very scared. I went to wake up my parents, but they were already awake. So instead I went downstairs and confided it all to my mom. She looked scared, and said she'd call the police. I just put a leash on my dog and went outside, I was worried. Maybe I had left my laptop too close to the window and the thief had come in to try to take the tempting target. Heaven knows it was expensive. As me and my dog were walking, I saw another dead man wearing black with his throat torn out. He was very fat but also pretty muscular, and his black was not a burglar's traditional outfit but a leather jacket and a black T-shirt. He wasn't armed except for a little swiss army knife in his pocket, and didn't have any sort of bag on him. I had originally thought my dog had neutralized the burglar, but I figured out I had to have been wrong. He's sorta a small dog, and he hadn't been out since yesterday afternoon. He stepped gingerly around the dead man as though his size scared him, and I gathered that my dog probably wouldn't have attacked the man. I decided to go to the police station myself, if only to feel safer. At the police station, everything was all jumbled and no one came to greet me. I looked behind the little desk where one of the "office cops" usually worked so he could greet anyone coming in, and I found Officer Jenkins' body on the floor, lifeless and with several chunks of meat missing. The rest of the police station held similar sights. I started to run out to get back home, but as soon as I left the building a bunch of feral wolves plodded out of the shadows, saliva turning their teeth from jagged pieces of yellow bone to deadly sharp crystal. I tried to think of what would distract them, and then decided to just forget about it and run. I was able to make it back to my house unscathed, though the wolves had followed me closely the whole way. I slammed the door, and explained everything to my mom. After several minutes of pained silence, she said "it's too dangerous here. You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air". I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "Fresh" and had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought nah, forget it, yo homes to bel-air. I pulled up to a house about seven or eight, and I yelled to the cabbie "Yo homes, smell you later". Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanz Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Communard Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 (edited) Brilliant. Sadly I can't claim the credit for wirting this one. That would be my good friend, Thunk00. Edited December 16, 2008 by Admrial Daala Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lolDeath Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 I am going to be glad when there is a new trend for every unoriginal person with an internet connection to follow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Wozzeck Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 And here I thought I was done with the whole Bel-Air thing when I left FESS and its Craziness Domain... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rei Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 (edited) Now, this is a story all about how My Marth got flip turned upside down And I liked to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I pwn noobs all day using Marth's forward air. In the west side of Altea born and raised On Final Destination was where I spent most of my days Short hoppin' and gimpin' and tippin' all cool And takin' some random online scrubs to school When a couple of noobs Who were up to no good Started qq'ing in my neighborhood I powered up my Wii and they all got scared They said 'You're not allowed to use Marth cuz he has a broken forward air' I whistled for a smash ball and when it came near I broke it with a fair and all the noobs shed a tear If anything I can say this final smash is the shit And I thought 'eat this you qq'ers LOL CRITICAL HIT' I put down my controller 'round seven or eight And I yelled over vent 'Yo homes brawl ya later' Time to eat dinner, but never despair, I'll be back on tomorrow to spam some more fair Edited December 16, 2008 by Rei Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krevin Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Now, this is a story all about howMy Marth got flip turned upside down And I liked to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I pwn noobs all day using Marth's forward air. In the west side of Altea born and raised On Final Destination was where I spent most of my days Short hoppin' and gimpin' and tippin' all cool And takin' some random online scrubs to school When a couple of noobs Who were up to no good Started qq'ing in my neighborhood I powered up my Wii and they all got scared They said 'You're not allowed to use Marth cuz he has a broken forward air' I whistled for a smash ball and when it came near I broke it with a fair and all the noobs shed a tear If anything I can say this final smash is the shit And I thought 'eat this you qq'ers LOL CRITICAL HIT' I put down my controller 'round seven or eight And I yelled over vent 'Yo homes brawl ya later' Time to eat dinner, but never despair, I'll be back on tomorrow to spam some more fair OFN. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rei Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 (edited) OFN. k. So is the bel-air fad. Edited December 16, 2008 by Rei Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krevin Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 k. So is the bel-air fad. touché Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Communard Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 (edited) I am going to be glad when there is a new trend for every unoriginal person with an internet connection to follow. Bel-Air is so retro its gone round the horn and become funny again. Edited December 16, 2008 by Admrial Daala Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynthia Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 (edited) I could have sworn the staff and other members were getting annoyed at fake leaving topics... As well written as this one is, I still think it takes the cake. Was a good read none the less. Edited December 16, 2008 by Cynthia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Communard Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 I could have sworn the staff and other members were getting annoyed at fake leaving topics... There've been other fake leaving topics? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 (edited) I need to start writing some of these huge story posts again. Concise is good, but it's more of a jolt when the punchline comes after a page of reading. Edited December 16, 2008 by ATTN mods Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynthia Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 There've been other fake leaving topics? Yes, fake and real. They are getting annoyed at both. Some members made about 5 leaving topics but to this day have never left, thus a lot of us are getting tired of leaving topics, fake and real. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agro Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 I should have known it was Thunk00 behind this >_>;; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erk Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 HOLY AWESOME SAUCE, THATS PWNSAUSAGE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Masu Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 needless bump ftl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erk Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Sorry lol, I was just looking around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judas Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 A Bel-Air? Like, seriously? Just add "and then >9000 mudkips rickrolled me" and you will have successfully date raped the internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Tyler Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Why every time I listen to a fad song, a fad post soon follows? Anyways, I'm gonna be a hypocrite and . . . Now, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I liked to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the King of a nation called Bern In West Lycian born and raised On the battlefields was where I spent most of my days Killin' maxin' stats relaxin' all cool And all flirtin' with some chicks outside the school When Zephiel and his army Who were up to no good Startin making trouble in my kingdom I got in one little fight and my dad got scared He said 'You're movin' in with Hector and Lilian in Ostia' I begged and pleaded with him day after day But he packed my suite case and send me on my way He gave me a kiss and then he gave an mercenary unit. Then I thought to myself, 'I'm movin' in with Lilian' First class, yo this is bad Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass. Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like? Hmmmmm this might be alright. But wait I hear about the ladies, all type of freaks Is Ostia the type of place they send this cool cat? Oh God I hope so! I'll see when I get there I hope they're prepared for the prince of Lyrica Well, the wyrven landed and when I got off There was a dude who looked like a pedo standing there without his clothes I ain't trying to get molested I just got here Man I wish I had maxed in my Speed stats I whistled for Pegasus and when it came near The license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice around it neck If anything I can say this Pegasus is rare But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Ostia' I pulled up to the castle about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Lyrican (So I suck, oh well) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Javaman Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I laughed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Communard Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 A Bel-Air? Like, seriously? Just add "and then >9000 mudkips rickrolled me" and you will have successfully date raped the internet. To quote myself: "Bel-Air is so retro its gone round the horn and become funny again." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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