Gatrie

[Guest FreelancerSealBoy]

Ok, been a while since I did one of these, but I'll try and give it a go again.

Gatrie

Summary: Gatrie is a member of the Greil Mercenaries, and apparently one of its senior members. He is a a frank man, and a womanizer, considering beautiful women his one goal in life. He is also highly gullible. He is quite close to fellow mercenary Shinon.

Bio:

PoR:

Gatrie first appears to save Mist and Rolf, the only two children in the mercenary company, from a group of bandits who had taken them hostage. Commander Greil led Gatrie and his friend Shinon in the rescue mission, which later included rescuing Ike, who had staged a rescue on his own. Shortly after, Gatrie assisted Ike in driving off a band of pirates who were rasing havoc in a nearby port town. When reports of war were brought back to the fort, Gatrie among the mercenaries who discovered the unconcious Princess Elincia. When the armies of Daein forced the company south into Gallia, it later forced Gatrie out of the company for a time. Commander Greil was met by the Black Knight, a former student of his, and killed in a duel with the mysterious General of Daein. Both Gatrie and Shinon took their leader's death hard and left the company behind.

During his time away from the mercenary company he'd fought for, Gatrie eventually found employment as a bodyguard for Astrid, a young noblewoman from Begnion. By chance, he was aboard ship with his new charge when two ships met them. One ship carried none other than Ike himself while the other was under the command of Daein. After speaking to Ike and Astrid and helping to fend off not only Daein soldiers and the raven laguz of Kilvas, Gatrie rejoined the Greil Mercenaries under Ike's command. During their stay in the Begnion Empire, Gatrie found himself quite content to roam the halls of the empress's palace and stare at the "flowers" which were in fact, the temple handmaidens. In his words, every woman he'd seen there was drop-dead gorgeous. The journey took Gatrie into Daein where he was reunited with his friend Shinon. It was here that his love of women worked against him. Gatrie told Shinon he'd fallen for a woman with a fatal condition and gave her money for treatments. The fighter seemed unconcerned about being taken advantage of even after he learned he'd been tricked.

After the defeat of King Ashnard in Melior, the captial of Crimea, Gatrie returned to the fort along with the other mercenaries.

RD:

After taking part in a suprise attack against the Crimean rebels, Gatrie was thrown into a new war when Ike accepted the offer of the Laguz Alliance to defeat the Begnion Empire. Over the course of the war, Gatrie's ever-widenening circle of women reached the laguz; he began flirting with Lyre, the twin sister of Gallian warrior Lethe, much to Shinon's disgust. When the goddess Ashera began raining her judgement upon Tellius, the army split into the three groups to reach the Begnion captial, Gatrie falling into the group under Ike's command. After the departure of Ashera and her counterpart, Yune, from the world, Gatrie became famous as a mercenary; his name became common in many households. Though he found many women in his lifetime, true love was something Gatrie never found.

I wanted to call Sanaki's palace by it's name, but I couldn't remember it. I know it's called a cathedral, but I can't for the life of me remember its name.

Edited January 27, 2009 by FreelancerSealBoy

[Not Changed by VASM :(]

I wanted to call Sanaki's palace by it's name, but I couldn't remember it. I know it's called a cathedral, but I can't for the life of me remember its name.

Manial I believe.

[VincentASM]

To clarify, it's Mainal Cathedral.

[Guest FreelancerSealBoy]

Thank you.

Gatrie

Summary: Gatrie is a member of the Greil Mercenaries, and apparently one of its senior members. He is a a frank man, and a womanizer, considering beautiful women his one goal in life. He is also highly gullible. He is quite close to fellow mercenary Shinon.

Bio:

PoR:

Gatrie first appears to save Mist and Rolf, the only two children in the mercenary company, from a group of bandits who had taken them hostage. Commander Greil led Gatrie and his friend Shinon in the rescue mission, which later included rescuing Ike, who had staged a rescue on his own. Shortly after, Gatrie assisted Ike in driving off a band of pirates who were rasing havoc in a nearby port town. When reports of war were brought back to the fort, Gatrie among the mercenaries who discovered the unconcious Princess Elincia. When the armies of Daein forced the company south into Gallia, it later forced Gatrie out of the company for a time. Commander Greil was met by the Black Knight, a former student of his, and killed in a duel with the mysterious General of Daein. Both Gatrie and Shinon took their leader's death hard and left the company behind.

During his time away from the mercenary company he'd fought for, Gatrie eventually found employment as a bodyguard for Astrid, a young noblewoman from Begnion. By chance, he was aboard ship with his new charge when two ships met them. One ship carried none other than Ike himself while the other was under the command of Daein. After speaking to Ike and Astrid and helping to fend off not only Daein soldiers and the raven laguz of Kilvas, Gatrie rejoined the Greil Mercenaries under Ike's command. During their stay in the Begnion Empire, Gatrie found himself quite content to roam the halls of Mainal Cathedral and stare at the "flowers" which were in fact, the temple handmaidens. In his words, every woman he'd seen there was drop-dead gorgeous. The journey took Gatrie into Daein where he was reunited with his friend Shinon. It was here that his love of women worked against him. Gatrie told Shinon he'd fallen for a woman with a fatal condition and gave her money for treatments. The fighter seemed unconcerned about being taken advantage of even after he learned he'd been tricked.

After the defeat of King Ashnard in Melior, the captial of Crimea, Gatrie returned to the fort along with the other mercenaries.

RD:

After taking part in a suprise attack against the Crimean rebels, Gatrie was thrown into a new war when Ike accepted the offer of the Laguz Alliance to defeat the Begnion Empire. Over the course of the war, Gatrie's ever-widenening circle of women reached the laguz; he began flirting with Lyre, the twin sister of Gallian warrior Lethe, much to Shinon's disgust. When the goddess Ashera began raining her judgement upon Tellius, the army split into the three groups to reach the Begnion captial, Gatrie falling into the group under Ike's command. After the departure of Ashera and her counterpart, Yune, from the world, Gatrie became famous as a mercenary; his name became common in many households. Though he found many women in his lifetime, true love was something Gatrie never found.

[Gatrie: Guns Blazing]

I do not approve of the last sentence

[Guest FreelancerSealBoy]

I do not approve of the last sentence

I'm curious why. It's what his ending said just not in those words. I mean no disrespect to you though.

I'll change it, but only if Vincent recommends it. It's his site and I'm writing this article for him. So I want to hear it from him first.

Edited January 28, 2009 by FreelancerSealBoy

[Gatrie: Guns Blazing]

I'm curious why. It's what his ending said just not in those words. I mean no disrespect to you though.

I'll change it, but only if Vincent recommends it. It's his site and I'm writing this article for him. So I want to hear it from him first.

I know, I know...im kidding. My name history holds the truth behind that post

[Guest FreelancerSealBoy]

I know, I know...im kidding. My name history holds the truth behind that post

Oh. Sorry 'bout that.

Hard to tell when someone's kidding on the internet.

[Eltoshen]

Oh. Sorry 'bout that.

Hard to tell when someone's kidding on the internet.

and when they do it in the wrong forums, in the wrong topic, at the wrong time. :X

Overall, just from reading the first paragraph, I thought it would turn out well. I haven't read through everything yet, but what I have read seems pretty good.

[Guest FreelancerSealBoy]

I'm not trying to be pushy, but does anyone have any input to give? I'd like to finish this and my Titania article before I move on to my others and/or claim anyone else. I haven't had a lot of time to do my other article, so I figured I'd check on this one.

[Mitoya]

Looking pretty good. My comments are in parentheses. Sorry if they're a little difficult to read.

Thank you.

Gatrie

Summary: Gatrie is a (maybe add "senior" in here and take out the second part of the sentence) member of the Greil Mercenaries, and apparently one of its senior members. He is a a frank man(no comma) and a womanizer, considering (obtaining?) beautiful women (to be) his one goal in life. He is also highly gullible. He is quite close to fellow mercenary Shinon.

Bio:

PoR:

Gatrie first (appears - should be "appeared," in keeping with the rest of the article) to save Mist and Rolf, the only two children in the mercenary company, from a group of bandits who had taken them hostage. Commander Greil led Gatrie and (his friend - this may not be necessary, considering it was mentioned in the summary) Shinon in the rescue mission, which later included rescuing Ike, who had staged a rescue on his own. Shortly after, Gatrie assisted Ike in driving off a band of pirates who were ra(i)sing havoc in a nearby port town. When reports of war were brought back to the fort, Gatrie (was) among the mercenaries who discovered the uncon(s)cious Princess Elincia. When the armies of Daein forced the company south into Gallia, (it later forced Gatrie out of the company for a time. - I don't think there's a cause-and-effect here; "forced" may not be the right word. I would join this sentence to the next, taking out the part here in parentheses. "...south into Gallia, Commander Greil was...") Commander Greil was met by the Black Knight, a former student of his, and killed in a duel with (the - maybe "this," just for clarity) mysterious General of Daein. Both Gatrie and Shinon took their leader's death (hard - "badly?") and left the company behind.

During his time away from the mercenary company he'd fought for, Gatrie (eventually - I would take this out, only because we don't know how long it took him to get work) found employment as a bodyguard for Astrid, a young noblewoman from Begnion. By chance, he was aboard ship with his new charge when two ships met them. One ship carried none other than Ike himself(,) while the other was under the command of Daein. After speaking to Ike and Astrid and helping to fend off not only Daein soldiers (and - "but" because of the "not only") the raven laguz of Kilvas, Gatrie rejoined the Greil Mercenaries under Ike's command. During their stay in the Begnion Empire, Gatrie found himself quite content to roam the halls of Mainal Cathedral and stare at the "flowers" which were(,) in fact, the temple handmaidens. In his words, every woman he'd seen there was (")drop-dead gorgeous("). The journey (with Ike's group?) took Gatrie into Daein(,) where he was reunited with his friend Shinon. (It was here that his love of women worked against him. - not sure what to do with this except mention that the exchange below takes place in a support conversation. Right now it seems like it had to be in Daein that the event took place, while really the prerequisite is a support. Maybe change "here" to "after this point") Gatrie told Shinon he'd fallen for a woman with a fatal condition and (gave - "given") her money for treatments. (The fighter - clarify that this means Gatrie) seemed unconcerned about being taken advantage of(,) even after he learned he'd been tricked.

After the defeat of King Ashnard in Melior, the cap(it)al of Crimea, Gatrie returned to the fort along with the other mercenaries.

RD:

After taking part in a suprise attack against the Crimean rebels, Gatrie was thrown into a new war when Ike accepted the offer of the Laguz Alliance to defeat the Begnion Empire. Over the course of the war, Gatrie's ever-widen(en)ing circle of women reached the laguz; he began flirting with Lyre, the twin sister of Gallian warrior Lethe, much to Shinon's disgust. When the goddess Ashera began raining her judgement upon Tellius, the army split into (the - unnecessary) three groups to reach the Begnion captial, Gatrie falling into the group under Ike's command. After the departure of Ashera and her counterpart, Yune, from the world, Gatrie became (famous as a mercenary; his name became common in many households - maybe condense to "a household name as a mercenary"). Though he (found - repetition with "found" later in the sentence; I would change this occurrence to "came across," or something like that) many women in his lifetime, true love was something Gatrie never found.

Just minor stuff. Very nice overall.

[VincentASM]

I have some spare time so I'll give it a shot. I'd like to take a more thorough look later though.

Summary: Gatrie is a member of the Greil Mercenaries, and apparently one of its senior members. He is a a frank man, and a womanizer, considering beautiful women his (only?) goal in life. He is also highly gullible. He is quite close to fellow mercenary Shinon.

Bio:

PoR:

Gatrie first appears to save Mist and Rolf, the only two children in the mercenary company, from a group of bandits who had taken them hostage. Commander Greil led Gatrie and his friend Shinon in the rescue mission, which later included rescuing Ike, who had staged a rescue on his own. Shortly after, Gatrie assisted Ike in driving off a band of pirates who were rasing havoc in a nearby port town. When reports of war were brought back to the fort, Gatrie (was) among the mercenaries who discovered the uncon(s)cious Princess Elincia. When the armies of Daein forced the company south into Gallia, it later forced Gatrie out of the company for a (period of?) time. Commander Greil was met by the Black Knight, a former student of his, and killed in a duel with the mysterious General of Daein. Both Gatrie and Shinon took their leader's death hard and left the company behind.

During his time away from the mercenary company he'd fought for, Gatrie eventually found employment as a bodyguard for Astrid, a young noblewoman from Begnion. By chance, he was aboard ship with his new charge when two ships met them. One ship carried none other than Ike himself while the other was under the command of Daein. After speaking to Ike and Astrid(,) and helping to fend off not only Daein soldiers (but also) the raven laguz of Kilvas, Gatrie rejoined the Greil Mercenaries under Ike's command. During their stay in the Begnion Empire, Gatrie found himself quite content to roam the halls of Mainal Cathedral and stare at the "flowers" which were in fact, the temple handmaidens. In his words, every woman he'd seen there was drop-dead gorgeous. The journey took Gatrie into Daein where he was reunited with his friend Shinon. It was here that his love of women worked against him. Gatrie told Shinon he'd fallen for a woman with a fatal condition and gave her money for treatments. The fighter seemed unconcerned about being taken advantage of even after he learned he'd been tricked.

I think the summary could use some reorganising, since there's a fair amount of "he is"s.

Edited February 5, 2009 by VincentASM

[Gatrie: Guns Blazing]

and when they do it in the wrong forums, in the wrong topic, at the wrong time. :X

Overall, just from reading the first paragraph, I thought it would turn out well. I haven't read through everything yet, but what I have read seems pretty good.

...sorry.

it looked pretty good to me

[Guest FreelancerSealBoy]

Ok, let's see how this works. I thought about using both your suggestions, Vincent and Mitoya.

And don't sweat it Gatrie (boy how's that for weird):

Gatrie

Summary: Gatrie is a member of the Greil Mercenaries, and one of its senior members. He is a frank, gullible man and a womanizer, considering obtaining beautiful women his one goal in life. Fellow mercenary Shinon is his closest friend.

Bio:

PoR:

Gatrie first appeared to save Mist and Rolf, the only children in the mercenary company, from a group of bandits who had taken them hostage. Commander Greil led Gatrie and Shinon in the rescue mission, which later included rescuing Ike, who had staged a rescue on his own. Shortly after, Gatrie assisted Ike in driving off a band of pirates who were rasing havoc in a nearby port town. When reports of war were brought back to the fort, Gatrie was among the mercenaries who discovered the unconscious Princess Elincia. When the armies of Daein forced the company south into Gallia, it later forced Gatrie out of the company for a period of time. Commander Greil was met by the Black Knight, a former student of his, and killed in a duel with this mysterious General of Daein. Both Gatrie and Shinon took their leader's death badly and left the company behind.

During his time away from the mercenary company, Gatrie found employment as a bodyguard for Astrid, a young noblewoman from Begnion. By chance, he was aboard ship with his new charge when two ships met them. One ship carried none other than Ike himself, while the other was under the command of Daein. After speaking to Ike and Astrid, and helping to fend off not only Daein soldiers but the raven laguz of Kilvas, Gatrie rejoined the Greil Mercenaries under Ike's command. During their stay in the Begnion Empire, Gatrie found himself quite content to roam the halls of Mainal Cathedral and stare at the "flowers" which were in fact, the temple handmaidens. In his words, every woman he'd seen there was "drop-dead gorgeous." After the company's business in Begnion was complete, the journey took Gatrie into Daein where he was reunited with Shinon. It was after this point that his love of women worked against him. Gatrie told Shinon he'd fallen for a woman with a fatal condition and had given her money for treatments. Gatrie seemed unconcerned about being taken advantage of, even after he learned he'd been tricked.

After the defeat of King Ashnard in Melior, the capital of Crimea, Gatrie returned to the fort along with the other mercenaries.

RD:

After taking part in a suprise attack against the Crimean rebels, Gatrie was thrown into a new war when Ike accepted the offer of the Laguz Alliance to defeat the Begnion Empire. Over the course of the war, Gatrie's ever-widening circle of women reached the laguz; he began flirting with Lyre, the twin sister of Gallian warrior Lethe, much to Shinon's disgust. When the goddess Ashera began raining her judgement upon Tellius, the army split into three groups to reach the Begnion captial. Gatrie fell into the group under Ike's command. After the departure of Ashera and her counterpart, Yune, from the world, Gatrie became a household name as a mercenary. Though he came across many women in his lifetime, true love was something Gatrie never found.

[VincentASM]

Just two last things I think. I haven't left any alternatives since I'm kind of tired right now X D

When reports of war were brought back to the fort, Gatrie was among the mercenaries who discovered the unconscious Princess Elincia. When the armies of Daein forced the company south into Gallia, it later forced Gatrie out of the company for a period of time.

Not a huge issue, but you've used "when" to start a sentence twice in a row.

When the goddess Ashera began raining her judgement upon Tellius, the army split into three groups to reach the Begnion captial. Gatrie fell into the group under Ike's command.

The last sentence seems a bit odd by itself. I wonder if it's alright to merge into the first sentence, since I don't know if it'll make it a run-on sentence.

After those, I think I can go ahead and add a page for it ^^

[Guest FreelancerSealBoy]

Sounds great. How about this?

Gatrie

Summary: Gatrie is a member of the Greil Mercenaries, and one of its senior members. He is a frank, gullible man and a womanizer, considering obtaining beautiful women his one goal in life. Fellow mercenary Shinon is his closest friend.

Bio:

PoR:

Gatrie first appeared to save Mist and Rolf, the only children in the mercenary company, from a group of bandits who had taken them hostage. Commander Greil led Gatrie and Shinon in the rescue mission, which later included rescuing Ike, who had staged a rescue on his own. Shortly after, Gatrie assisted Ike in driving off a band of pirates who were rasing havoc in a nearby port town. When reports of war were brought back to the fort, Gatrie was among the mercenaries who discovered the unconscious Princess Elincia. Shortly after the princess was brought to their fort, the armies of Daein forced the company south into Gallia, and it later forced Gatrie out of the company for a period of time. Commander Greil was met by the Black Knight, a former student of his, and killed in a duel with this mysterious General of Daein. Both Gatrie and Shinon took their leader's death badly and left the company behind.

During his time away from the mercenary company, Gatrie found employment as a bodyguard for Astrid, a young noblewoman from Begnion. By chance, he was aboard ship with his new charge when two ships met them. One ship carried none other than Ike himself, while the other was under the command of Daein. After speaking to Ike and Astrid, and helping to fend off not only Daein soldiers but the raven laguz of Kilvas, Gatrie rejoined the Greil Mercenaries under Ike's command. During their stay in the Begnion Empire, Gatrie found himself quite content to roam the halls of Mainal Cathedral and stare at the "flowers" which were in fact, the temple handmaidens. In his words, every woman he'd seen there was "drop-dead gorgeous." After the company's business in Begnion was complete, the journey took Gatrie into Daein where he was reunited with Shinon. It was after this point that his love of women worked against him. Gatrie told Shinon he'd fallen for a woman with a fatal condition and had given her money for treatments. Gatrie seemed unconcerned about being taken advantage of, even after he learned he'd been tricked.

After the defeat of King Ashnard in Melior, the capital of Crimea, Gatrie returned to the fort along with the other mercenaries.

RD:

After taking part in a suprise attack against the Crimean rebels, Gatrie was thrown into a new war when Ike accepted the offer of the Laguz Alliance to defeat the Begnion Empire. Over the course of the war, Gatrie's ever-widening circle of women reached the laguz; he began flirting with Lyre, the twin sister of Gallian warrior Lethe, much to Shinon's disgust. When the goddess Ashera began raining her judgement upon Tellius, the army split into three groups to reach the Begnion captial, and Gatrie fell into the group under Ike's command. After the departure of Ashera and her counterpart, Yune, from the world, Gatrie became a household name as a mercenary. Though he came across many women in his lifetime, true love was something Gatrie never found.

[VincentASM]

After running through a spell-checker, I noticed "raising" and "surprise" have been typo'd. Of course, I can just fix those myself.

Shortly after, Gatrie assisted Ike in driving off a band of pirates who were rasing havoc in a nearby port town. When reports of war were brought back to the fort, Gatrie was among the mercenaries who discovered the unconscious Princess Elincia. Shortly after the princess was brought to their fort, the armies of Daein forced the company south into Gallia, and it later forced Gatrie out of the company for a period of time.

In any case, I still think this sounds a tiny bit odd since "short after" is now used in sort-of-quick succession instead. However, it's up to you if want to change it or not. It's probably not even a problem.

[Guest FreelancerSealBoy]

I'll fix it.

Gatrie

Summary: Gatrie is a member of the Greil Mercenaries, and one of its senior members. He is a frank, gullible man and a womanizer, considering obtaining beautiful women his one goal in life. Fellow mercenary Shinon is his closest friend.

Bio:

PoR:

Gatrie first appeared to save Mist and Rolf, the only children in the mercenary company, from a group of bandits who had taken them hostage. Commander Greil led Gatrie and Shinon in the rescue mission, which later included rescuing Ike, who had staged a rescue on his own. Later on, Gatrie assisted Ike in driving off a band of pirates who were raising havoc in a nearby port town. When reports of war were brought back to the fort, Gatrie was among the mercenaries who discovered the unconscious Princess Elincia. Shortly after the princess was brought to their fort, the armies of Daein forced the company south into Gallia, and it later forced Gatrie out of the company for a period of time. Commander Greil was met by the Black Knight, a former student of his, and killed in a duel with this mysterious General of Daein. Both Gatrie and Shinon took their leader's death badly and left the company behind.

During his time away from the mercenary company, Gatrie found employment as a bodyguard for Astrid, a young noblewoman from Begnion. By chance, he was aboard ship with his new charge when two ships met them. One ship carried none other than Ike himself, while the other was under the command of Daein. After speaking to Ike and Astrid, and helping to fend off not only Daein soldiers but the raven laguz of Kilvas, Gatrie rejoined the Greil Mercenaries under Ike's command. During their stay in the Begnion Empire, Gatrie found himself quite content to roam the halls of Mainal Cathedral and stare at the "flowers" which were in fact, the temple handmaidens. In his words, every woman he'd seen there was "drop-dead gorgeous." After the company's business in Begnion was complete, the journey took Gatrie into Daein where he was reunited with Shinon. It was after this point that his love of women worked against him. Gatrie told Shinon he'd fallen for a woman with a fatal condition and had given her money for treatments. Gatrie seemed unconcerned about being taken advantage of, even after he learned he'd been tricked.

After the defeat of King Ashnard in Melior, the capital of Crimea, Gatrie returned to the fort along with the other mercenaries.

RD:

After taking part in a surprise attack against the Crimean rebels, Gatrie was thrown into a new war when Ike accepted the offer of the Laguz Alliance to defeat the Begnion Empire. Over the course of the war, Gatrie's ever-widening circle of women reached the laguz; he began flirting with Lyre, the twin sister of Gallian warrior Lethe, much to Shinon's disgust. When the goddess Ashera began raining her judgement upon Tellius, the army split into three groups to reach the Begnion captial, and Gatrie fell into the group under Ike's command. After the departure of Ashera and her counterpart, Yune, from the world, Gatrie became a household name as a mercenary. Though he came across many women in his lifetime, true love was something Gatrie never found.

[VincentASM]

Haha, alright. It feels like it's been a while since I've been so nit-picky X D

In any case, I added a page for it now. Thanks for your work again ^^