Serenes Forest: The Sitcom!

[Knife]

Hmmm... okay, I'll be a thief that can wield knives.

[Florete]

For the fiftieth time...

Swords.

Bows.

NOT Lances.

I thought there was a problem there.

Everyone keeps screwing with Kiryn.

[Nightmare]

I made that history topic so that you sitcom writers can get my character better. You should read it some time. *WARNING ADVERTISEMENT OF OWN PRODUCT*

But on a serious note, I'm not really advertising...honest...

Edited May 29, 2008 by Nightmare

[Mufasa]

I made that history topic so that you sitcom writers can get my character better. You should read it some time. *WARNING ADVERTISEMENT OF OWN PRODUCT*

But on a serious note, I'm not really advertising...honest...

I am however: QUICK READ LYLE DAYEK'S HISTORY!!!!!!!

Anyway, in reguard's to the whole problem with Kiryn, since it's being discussed so thouroughly now, it'll be fixed or it'll just be a running gag in the series. Someone will give her a spear and she'll be like: "Well, this is a nice spear and all, but I use swords......." and then the other person will be like: "WTF?!?!?!"

[Inactive Account]

After that happens a few times I might just throw it at 'em.

[CGV]

Oh yeah, and btw, just reminding y'all that I can use magic. Here are my current weapon equip types:

Axes

Swords

Lances

Thunder magic

Dark magic (will be explained eventually)

So yeah, just saying. If you're wondering about the Swords and Lances think the GBA Fire Emblem games.

A Dracoknight that uses magic? Well, ok I guess

For the fiftieth time...

Swords.

Bows.

NOT Lances.

Sorry Kiryn, I know your a falconknight and I automatically think "Lances!"

I fixed my last episode so you have a Killer Bow and a Silver Sword. Tell me if you want those weapons changed

[Inactive Account]

That sounds pretty good.

[uguu]

More insight to Hikarusa's past doggies. (pronounced Doe-Geez)

Area=???, 8 years ago

???: Goddammit... since when has that been there? It had to have always been there because of what it is but...

Area=Mercenary Base, Present

Hikarusa: Back then... him and I where the only ones who know. Now I'm the only one.

Zephrion: Knew what?

Hikarusa: Who let you out of your cage?

Metal Rabbit: Gack! How did you see through my clever disguise?

Hikarusa: Just so you know... I think that I'm NOT the only one who knows. YOU know.

Metal Rabbit: Oh yeah... that. Of course I know.

Hikarusa: Answer my question.

Metal Rabbit: Raven. I bribed him with nudes of Fourth Fox, I didn't really have them so when I got out I kicked him in the nuts and ran.

Hikarusa: To answer your question, I knew becauseof the sound of your voice. You sound nothing like Zephrion.

Raven: Get back here Dastard!

Metal Rabbit: Gah! I'm outta here!

Hikarusa: ...Fireman, I know you're there. Show yourself.

Fireman: How did you know that I was there.

Hikarusa: You're always everywhere.

Fireman: So...

Hikarusa: You wanna know what I was talking about?

Fireman: Yeah.

Hikarusa: X=905+99999

Fireman: What?

Hikarusa: How much the info costs. X=905+99999=100004+900=100904

Fireman: Lethalit-

Hikarusa: Fine.

Area=Orphanage, 10 years ago

Hikarusa: Hi. I wunt u to udupt mee.

Old Man: Huh?

Hikarusa: Cen't U udupt mee?

Old Man: Maybe...

Hikarusa: Pweeze..?

Old Man: Fine.

Hikarusa: Coow.

Area=Mercenary Base, Present

Fireman: Wait... why were you talking like that?

Hikarusa: I was three.

Fireman: So you're only 13? How could you of run those businesses in these past 5 years?

Hikarusa: I was 8, that means I was a MAN.

Area=Old Man's House, 8 years ago

Old Man: Now Hikarusa, if you wanna learn magic you've gotta wait until you're older.

Hikarusa: Nah, I can handle it. I wanna be a super totally awesome THUNDAH user!

Old Man: Fine, I've already taught you how to read the language in the books.

*The Old Man gives Hikarusa a Thunder tome*

Hikarusa: THUNDAH!

*Thunder hits his left butt cheek*

*His pants are set on fire*

*The butt of his pants and underwear is burned off*

Old Man: Gack! You have a brand on your right butt cheek!

Hikarusa: Really? I can't see it.

Old Man: Get away from me you monster!

Hikarusa: BASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!

*Hikarusa used Thunder on the Old Man*

*The Old Man dies*

Hikarusa: That was fun. Ooh... an axe! This looks funner than reading!

Area=Mercenary Base, Present

Zephrion: You can use Thunder tomes!?

Hikarusa: Yeah? So? Wait... were you eaves dropping!?

CoolGuyVaters: No. You're in the middle of the main room. Zeph, Fourth Fox, Lyle, and I are playing Brawl.

Hikarusa: Oh. Anyways, I have another story to tell you! A more detailed version of how I first met my pet dragon! No interupting you ass holes.

Area=Hell Village, 5 years ago

Hikarusa: Crap, late to the mandatory village meeting which takes place on one street that everyone has to go there or else they're executed!

Everyone in the village except Hikarusa because he's late: AHH! DRAGO- GAH... I'M DEAD!

*Hikarusa sees bodies everywhere... and a dragon*

Dragon: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW

R!

Hikarusa: Dammit...

*Barely dodges a sweep of his teeth*

*Hikarusa ties a Thunder Tome to his axe*

Hikarusa: THOR! RAIN THUNDER DOWN UPON MY AXE AND MAKE IT UNSTOPPABLE!

*Doesn't work*

Hikarusa: Goddammit... there's only one thing to do now...

*Hikarusa runs away like a little whiny baby*

Area=Mercenary Base, Present

*Metal Rabbit is back in his cage, and Fourth Fox is stabbing Raven over and over again for touching her boob*

Metal Rabbit: That's different from in the last version.

Hikarusa: Oh. I lied in that version.

A Dracoknight that uses magic? Well, ok I guess

Sorry Kiryn, I know your a falconknight and I automatically think "Lances!"

I fixed my last episode so you have a Killer Bow and a Silver Sword. Tell me if you want those weapons changed

[CGV]

Why those two thoughts didn't click, I have no idea *takes mental note*

[Masu]

Eh. Oh well he's not that important.

D: I am sad now lyle. But hey i like what i did! Killing ppl with lightning has always been a.....hobby of sorts. If i ever get jelly beans i get quite uncontrolable if you were to ask any of my friends XD

[Raven]

Metal Rabbit: I FIGHT FOR MY FRIEEEEENDS!!!! *trips* damn it, Sakurai!

This brought tears to my eyes.

[Nightmare]

I need...MOOOAAAARR! episodes...

[Mufasa]

I need...MOOOAAAARR! episodes...

I have an idea for an episode. But I don't really have the initiative to start working on it.

[Mufasa]

Here's an episode I wrote. I hope you enjoy:

*Fireman is sitting on a branch, smoking his pipe. He looks out into the sunset and seems nervous about something.*

Fireman: ........*Puffs on his pipe. Then he hears a crack from behind him. He immediately jumps off of the branch he was sitting on, just avoiding a falling tree.* ....Damn....

*The next morning at the base. Everyone’s still asleep......*

CGV: IT’S HERE!!! *CGV is running through the base in his pajamas, shouting at the top of his lungs.*

Metal Rabbit: *Opens his door.* I dunno what’s going on, but I’m joining in!!! IT’S HERE!!!!

Zephiron: *Opens his door rubbing his eyes.* What the fu-

CGV: IT’S HERE!!!!

Zephiron: .......I’m going back to bed.

Metal Rabbit: IT’S HERE!!!!

Hikarusa: *Opens his door.* Someone better shut-up or else someone’s gonna get an axe stuck in their face.

CGV: IT’S THE GREATEST THING EVURRR!!!!!

Metal Rabbit: WOOHOO!!!!

Hikarusa: .....Assholes. *Shuts his door.*

CGV: IT’S HE– *He takes a fist to the face.*

Fox: SHUT THE F*** UP ASSHOLE!!!!!!!

CGV: ........sorry.......

*Fox goes back into her room. CGV falls on the floor unconscious.*

Metal Rabbit: Awww. Over already? Oh well. I’m gonna go make some breakfast!

*One house explosion and rushing of Raven to the hospital later, the troop is all sitting at the breakfast table, where everyone is eating cereal.*

Metal Rabbit: I dunno why you guys didn’t let me cook breakfast. Now we have to eat stale old cereal.

Fox: Listen, just because his name is Raven doesn’t mean he lays eggs okay? No doubt you’ve traumatized him for life to. By the way, CGV what were you talking about this morning anyway?

CGV: What do you mean?

Zephiron: You don’t remember running around the house this morning?

CGV: No...all I remember is waking up in the hallway with my nose bleeding. I just figure I’ve been sleepwalking again.

Hikarusa: You don’t remember? What are you stupid? You ran around the house screaming “It’s here!”

CGV: I did?

Zephiron: Uh....Yeah.....

CGV: .......IT’S HERE!!!!!!! *He runs off, knocking over Kiryn, who has just woken up, as he does.

Kiryn: GAH! What have I broken now?!? *She curls up in a fetal position.*

Metal Rabbit: Hmmm......

Zephiron: No.

Metal Rabbit: Awww.....

CGV: *Runs back in.* This is what I was talking about!! It’s the newest game for the wii! It’s another Fire emblem game! Only this one is based on us!!!

Fox: ....What?

CGV: I won a contest so the creators of the game based the newest one on us!!!

Fox: That’s neat.

Hikarusa: I better be the main character.

CGV: It allows you to pick which character you want!

*Lyle walks in exhausted.*

Zephiron: Hey Lyle. You’re just in time for breakfast.

Lyle: .......what are we having?

Hikarusa: ....Cereal.

Lyle: ....cool.... *He grabs a bowl. Looks at it. Then falls face first into it.* Zzzzzz.

Zephiron: ...What’s with him?

Kiryn: *Over her trauma.* Hikari’s making him work triple shifts.

Hikarusa: Serves him right for working with her.

Kiryn: That’s a little harsh.

Zephiron: Aren’t you making him work double shifts?

Kiryn: ........yeah.....

CGV: .....Aren’t you guys excited!?!?!

Fox: About what?

CGV: About this game!?!?!

Fox: Oh....yeah it’s pretty cool

CGV: ‘Pretty cool.’ You guys are losers. *He runs off to play wii.*

Fox: *Yells to CGV as he’s running off.* I’d join you, but I have to take Raven to the psychiatric center. *She glares at MR.*

Metal Rabbit: Hey! At no point did he say “No! Don’t shove that fork there.”

Hikarusa: No, but he was screaming bloody murder.

Metal Rabbit: He was overreacting. He’s a wimp.

*Fireman walks in.*

Zephiron: Hey Fireman, what’s up?

Fireman: F*** YOU! DO YOUR OWN CRAP!!!

*Every one is stunned and silence fills the room. (With the exception of the wii in the backround and Lyle’s snoring.)*

Fireman: Oh, uh. Hey. Not much.

Kiryn: .......What was that all about?

Fireman: Nothing.

Hikarusa: Oh well, I’m sure he’s-

Fireman: WILL YOU GET OFF MY BACK?!?!?!

*Silence again.*

Fox: Dammit Fireman, Raven’s already needing help, we don’t have the funds to get you some.

Fireman: Sorry, I just haven’t been sleeping lately.

Metal Rabbit: Why not do what Lyle’s doing?

Fireman: It’s not that I don’t have time, it’s just.....nah never mind, it’s nothing.

Zephiron: Oh come on Fireman, we’re all family here, you can tell us anything and we’ll help. We’re all here for you.

Fireman: ....Well-

CGV: *Runs in.* HEY! Screw Fireman’s problems! You can play online with people!!

Hikarusa: ....How does that work for a Fire emblem game?

CGV: Beats me!

*Hikarusa, Metal Rabbit and CGV run off to play wii.*

Fox: Oh. I have to get going and pick up Raven from the hospital. Anyone want to come?

Zephiron: Sure. I’ll go.

*Fox and Zephiron leave.*

Kiryn: I guess I better get started on clean up. *She leaves to clean up the dishes.*

*Nightmare walks in.*

Nightmare: Hm. I guess I missed breakfast. Oh well. I’ll go get some McDonalds.

*Fireman and Lyle are now the only ones left in the room.

Fireman: .....I don’t suppose you care about my problems.

Lyle: ZZZZzzzzzzz

Fireman: Guess not.

Lyle: ...the average wingspan of a Hungarian swallow is 3.5 cubic meters per second....

Fireman: That’s not even the correct units of measurement......

*A beeper goes off and Lyle wakes up.*

Lyle: Whajf dsg hnfd bdf jk? Oh...look at that...it’s time to be Kiryn’s bodyguard. That was a nice nap....*He gets up and slowly makes his way to Kiryn.*

Fireman: .......What a loser. *He picks up his spoon, as he does the chandelier above him crashes down, Fireman narrowly avoids it.* Shit.

*Kiryn and Lyle walk in.*

Kiryn: What happened?

Fireman: Uh. Nothing! *He runs off.*

*CGV walks in.*

CGV: What the? KIRYN!!!! DID YOU BREAK THIS?!?!?!

Lyle: ...I didn’t even know we had a chandelier....

CGV: Me neither! But if you broke it Kiryn I’m gonna-

Kiryn: It was Lyle!!!!!

Lyle: Wha?

CGV: LYLE!!!!

Lyle: Gah!!!

*Outside. Fireman is standing there.*

Fireman: ......Now what do I do?

To be continued.

[Inactive Account]

I sense a new storyarc.

[Nightmare]

I sense a new storyarc.

I sense as well...

That was perdy good.

[Mufasa]

I kinda want to try something in this storyline. Something new that no one has done before. (Don't get too excited, it's nothing extravagant.) but I want to see if it works.

[Masu]

It doesnt have to be extravagant....just EPIC!

[CGV]

hmmm.... very nice, very nice. I like this new game on the Wii, too

[Knife]

hmmm.... very nice, very nice. I like this new game on the Wii, too

Which one?

[Nightmare]

Uhhh...the one mentioned in that episode...

Also MOAR

[Mufasa]

Alright. Since you asked.

*Outside. Fireman is standing there.*

Fireman: ......Now what do I do?

*At the hospital*

Nurse: ....physically he’s in perfect shape, however he has much trauma.

Fox: Oh, I’m sure. After what Metal Rabbit did to him.....I’m surprised he isn’t dead.

Zephiron: ....So what did Metal Rabbit do to him anyway?

Fox: You’re better off not knowing.

*They make their way into Raven’s room.*

Nurse: Raven, you have some visitors.

Raven: *Absentmindedly.* Visitors? Who is it?

Fox: Hi Raven, it’s me Fox. And Zephiron.

Raven: Hello Fox and Zephiron. How are you?

Zephiron: Dude.....what the hell’s wrong with you?

Raven: .....Whatever do you mean?

Nurse: *Takes Fox and Zephiron to the side.* Listen, it’s best you get him some help right away.

Fox: We’re already on it.

Zephiron: Yeah, we’re taking him to the best psychiatrist in town.

Nurse: Who would that be?

*Fox, Zeph, and Raven make their way to a bar.*

Fox: We have need of a Fireman.

Bartender: Hm....Well I’d love to help, but the Fireman is refusing offers as of right now.

Fox: WHAT?!?!?!

Zephiron: He is?!?! Why?

Bartender: He didn’t say....

Zephiron: Well shit. Now what? Do we go after Fireman?

Fox: No, we should probably go to another psychiatrist.

Zephiron: Who’s the next best psychiatrist?

Fox: .....well.

*Duke Tanas’ mansion.*

Zephiron: Oliver..........Oliver is the second best psychiatrist in Tellius.

Fox: I’m afraid so.

Oliver: Welcome to my mansion. Please come in.

Zephiron: This is breaking so many natural laws......

Raven: *Staring into space.*

*Back at the base.*

CGV: See! Look! I can pick whichever character I want! There’s me, Metal Rabbit, even Hikari!

Hikarusa: Why would you want to be Hikari? Be someone cool. Like me.

Metal Rabbit: Ooo! Ooo! Be Frank Oz!!!

CGV: ......Frank Oz isn’t a playable character....

Metal Rabbit: What!??!? Dammit Sakurai!!!!

Hikarusa: Sakurai had nothing to do with this game! ....Right?

CGV: Hell if I know. I’m just gonna be myself.

Game: You have picked COOLGUYVATERS to be your main character. Is this correct?

CGV: Yup. That’s the name my mama gave me.

Hikarusa: What?

CGV: They gave her too many drugs.

Hikarusa: Oh.

*CGV starts playing as MR and Hikarusa watch.*

*Outside of McDonalds.*

Nightmare: For the last time, NO I don’t want to supersize that.

Speaker: Are you sure?

Nightmare: Yes! I’m sure!

Speaker: Alright just come on up to the window.

Nightmare: *Walks up to the window.* Geeze this is freaking ridiculous...

Guy at window: You sure you didn’t want that- Hey. You’re not in a car!

Nightmare: ........What was your first clue jackass?

Guy: But this is the drive through! You can’t walk up to a drive through!

Nightmare: .....and why not?

Guy:.......Because it’s the drive through!!! You have to be in a car!!

Nightmare: I can’t get a car....

Guy: Why not?

Nightmare: Cause I’m blind, dumbass.

Guy: Listen, I can’t serve you in the drive through if you don’t have a car!

Nightmare: I’m the only one here! You’re just wasting both our time!

Guy: Sorry man, I can’t do it.

Nightmare: This is ridiculous. Just give me my food, I’ll give you the money, everyone will be happy.

Guy: I can’t do that man.

Nightmare: Ugh. This is ridiculous. FINE, I’ll go inside and pay for it.

Guy: Nah man, then what am I gonna do with this food?

Nightmare: Give it to me stupid!!!!

Guy: What?!?! CALL THE POLICE! THIS GUY IS TRYING TO STEAL THE FOOD!!!!

Nightmare: Ugh.

*Base.*

Kiryn: Thanks for doing the dishes Lyle.

Lyle: *Mumbles* You’re welcome.

Kiryn: You’re really tired aren’t you?

Lyle: ......*Too tired for a snappy remark.* ....Yes I am.....I could use something to regain all my energy.....you know....something that starts with an ‘s’.

Kiryn: Special medication!

Lyle: ..........

Kiryn: Although, I don’t know where we would find any.

Lyle: *Trying again.* Well I thought of something else. Maybe a nice long night to-

Kiryn: I know! We’ll go find Fireman and see if he knows where we can get some medication.

Lyle: .......*Gives up.* ...Sure....

*They leave the base to go look for Fireman.*

*Fireman is in the forest. He’s looking around the entire time as if he’s expecting something to happen.*

Fireman: ........maybe it’s just my imagination.

*A tree branch falls nearly hitting him.*

Fireman: I guess not.

*A laughing noise resounds in the area.*

Fireman: Who’s there?!?!

*It continues.*

Fireman: Show yourself! *Fireman is now sweating.*

????: Please....don’t embarrass yourself......

Fireman: There you are! *He throws a knife into some bushes.

Lyle: OW!!!!!! *Lyle crawls out of the bushes, Fireman’s knife is sticking out of his shoulder.*

Kiryn: There he is!

Fireman: You two? Was it you?

Kiryn: Was what us?

Fireman: You didn’t hear that laughing?

Lyle: No. But I did hear that screaming coming from my mouth after you stabbed me asshole. *Takes out knife.*

Fireman: ...Sorry....I’m a little on edge.

Kiryn: So we noticed. Say Fireman, can we hire you for something?

Fireman: Er. I don’t think I can right now.

Kiryn: We just need you to get some medication for Lyle so he isn’t tired all the time.

Lyle: [sarcasm] Yeah. I’m sure that is what I need. [sarcasm]

Fireman: .....I guess I could do that....

Kiryn: How much.

Fireman: Er. 100.

Kiryn: Really? That cheap?

Fireman: I’m feeling generous....

Kiryn: Okay, we’ll take it. Give him the money Lyle.

Lyle: What? Why me?

Kiryn: Cause they’re your meds.

Lyle: *Mumbling obsenities.* Here.

Fireman: I’ll do this as fast as I can.

*Tanas mansion.*

Oliver: Let’s talk about your childhood.....

Fox: ...that’s not really the problem....

Oliver: Please, leave this to the professionals. Now Raven, what do you think we could do to help you?

Zephiron: Isn’t that your job?

Raven: Well.....we could eat some candy!

Oliver: Oooo that’s a good start.

Fox: .....This is never going to work.

*McDonalds*

Nightmare: Listen, this is all one huge misunderstanding.

Police: Drop your weapons now!

Nightmare: I don’t have any weapons!

Police: Put your hands in the air!

Nightmare: Listen, you’re not listening to me!

Police: If you do not comply, we will be forced to use unnecessary force!

Nightmare: Where are these guys when there’s an actual crisis?

*Base.*

CGV: Dude.....I just realized.....

Hikarusa: What?

CGV: Thanks to this game......I’m in control of my own life.....

Hikarusa: Holy shit! .....Wait.

Metal Rabbit: This storyline sucks. I’m going to another one.

CGV: What?

*Metal Rabbit leaves.*

TBC (To be continued.)

[Nightmare]

That was great!

[Inactive Account]

"I'm in control of my own life..."

LOL.

Moar moar!

And... Oliver WTH?

[Knife]

My role was awesome. I stabbed an asshole.