Mousefire Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving Door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousefire Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 Chuck Norris doesnt have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Chuck Norris doesnt have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin, its decendants are now known as Giraffes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fayt Zelpher Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 When Chuck Norris preaches, everyone listens. They spontaneously combust from the pure awesomeness afterward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousefire Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 Chuck Norris was bitten by an extremely venemous snake. after 10 days of excruciating pain, the snake died Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altera the Hun Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Sam Winchester started the Apocalypse by setting the Devil free. Chuck Norris ended it by Chasing the Devil back to hell. Kyle Katarn made sure it was over, followed the bastard to hell, and finished him off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousefire Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 When Chuck Norris is sad, he roundhouse kicks himself in the face. It cheers him up that he is the only man on Earth who can take his roundhouse kick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ϲharlie Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Chuck Norris jokes are boring, so here's something awesome: And another: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousefire Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altera the Hun Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 When Chuck Norris is sad, he roundhouse kicks himself in the face. It cheers him up that he is the only man on Earth who can take his roundhouse kick. This is only true because Kyle Katarn is in a galaxy far, far away, as allowing the two within a lightyear of one another would cause a Universe-rending explosion from the sheer manliness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousefire Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 This is only true because Kyle Katarn is in a galaxy far, far away, as allowing the two within a lightyear of one another would cause a Universe-rending explosion from the sheer manliness. Blasphemy! Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altera the Hun Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 A cantina was once built around Kyle Katarn under similar circumstances. The difference was he didn't burn it down, because that'd be a waste of perfectly good booze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousefire Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blademaster! Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Fun fact: Both Norris and Chan started their career the same way: by getting their asses kicked by Bruce Lee. Chuck Norris was famous before he met Bruce Lee. And Chuck only lost to Bruce in a movie. In a real fight, Chuck would win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altera the Hun Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 If you want Kyle Katarn's enemies list, check the list of known occupants of Hell. 99.9% of them, he sent there. The remaining .1% were sent by Chuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousefire Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altera the Hun Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Kyle Katarn's beard is comprised entirely out of Force Ghosts. Specifically, for every Jedi that dies, he gets another stubble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousefire Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dat Nick Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 (edited) bruce lee fuck chuck he's an ass I wouldn't fuck him with your own dick or cock Edited February 3, 2010 by Fred Fuchs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousefire Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Jackie Chan Plz. But Macgyver > Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan Bruce Lee can own them both. Jackie Chan. Tony Jaa Jackie Chan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fayt Zelpher Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong had a 'who has more testicles' contest. Chuck Norris won. By 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousefire Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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