Nightmare Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 In my many years as a masterful level 99 (max level) GOD CHEF (highest rank), I have discovered many great secrets about cooking and so far, I have kept these within me. But my time is coming to an end, and thus I have to share my secrets with you! For now, I will only give you general explanation; to learn all of it in full detail, you must defeat me in a battle of cooking! FIRSTLY! The unique gender approach to cooking in the modern days has been mostly neglected, but I have found it is extremely important to the end result! How does it affect cooking, you ask?! INSOLENCE! I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS!!! But here you are anyway! HMPH!!! Cooking comes from the heart! It is where all the true value of a cook lies! When a cook is actually a cook, they do not cook with ingredients, recipes, utensils or their hands! No! Absolutely not! They cook with their hearts! A real cook, who cooks with their heart, does not even know what they're cooking! The end result becomes magnificently delicious and stupendously exquisite nonetheless! I have known that, in my experiences as a masterful level 99 (max level) GOD CHEF (highest rank), females, whose hearts are delicate, tender, glass-like, tend to make food that is very delicate, very tender but not glass-like at all! Those are all great qualities, but only a real woman can make it so! Males, on the other hand, have hearts that are intense! Powerful! Manly! And as such their food reflects these qualities of their hearts! But only for real men! Unreal men do not have such hearts, and do not have such food! Female and male cooking is equal in this. But there is some universal unisex standard of the cook which is completely unrelated to the cook's gender. That is the spirit! The spirit of cooking! When a cook cooks, they do not just cook, they are conjuring a work of art that can only be fully realized by the superbly super supreme glands in the tongue of man! Oh, how great this tongue is! When a cook is looking at ingredients, they are not just looking at it! Their minds, with incredible thick sharpness and maximum perception, they perceive into the meat and taste every single molecule in their minds, in their souls! With each molecule they subconsciously form the greatest possible match-up! This is how perfect ingredients and recipes are born! So even though heart alone is enough for a cook to be a real cook, that cook must also respect great cooks of the past by honouring their recipes frequently and, if possible, improving them in any way possible! You have just ventured into one fragment of the peerless knowledge I have of cooking. My cooking spirit burns like fire, my mind is as calm as still water. My hands move faster than a whirlwind, my body is stronger than steel. My style changes shape like a cloud. My secrets remain hidden like a ninja under mud. With a touch, I can well-done steaks, rend a beef asunder and channel flavour such as mortal kind can never even dream of. Face me, and you shall surely perish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Heads cannot cook. You will burn your tongue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 I see a thief on the roof. I see your heart beating. I see you are...afraid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 I am not afraid of a head, even if you do appear to have strange powers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 Psh, you lost that argument a long time ago. You no longer have proof that I am a head, especially now that I have a picture of myself in hand and was about to post it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 A picture of you photoshopped onto a body. You are a head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 As many would know (Wist especially), this picture has a perfectly matching head and body (both of them being extremely attractive, as is natural), so your argument is invalid. Or are you trying to avoid showing that French cuisine to me? Are you afraid it will be inferior to my cooking?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Never :o! Also, Wist told me that the picture was indeed just a head and that you asked him not to tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlet Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 I challenge you to turn a fire flower into a fire pop using a cake mix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 Never :o! Also, Wist told me that the picture was indeed just a head and that you asked him not to tell. http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=3880520 I challenge you to turn a fire flower into a fire pop using a cake mix. I only accept cooking battles. Your challenge offends me to degrees unimaginable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlet Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 I only accept cooking battles. Your challenge offends me to degrees unimaginable. So it exceeds your cooking abilities? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 I am even further offended. There's no doubt about my cooking abilities; I am doubting your cooking abilities! If I made exquisite dishes just by myself, what use would that be? I'm trying to find a successor to my ancient cooking style passed down for 2000 years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 ~wanders into topic holding a sandwich~ ~looks around~ ~eats the sandwich~ ~wanders away~ Waitaminute... wrong topic. ~wanders into topic with a pan of radioactive brownies~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 ~wanders into topic with a pan of radioactive brownies~ IS THAT A CHALLENGE?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 ~eats a radioactive brownie~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 IS THAT A YES?!?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 ~holds out grocery bag full of ingredients~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 LET US BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!! After I get my beauty sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florete Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Only level 99? Psh. Come back when you're a level 100 Cook. Like me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uguu Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Level 99 is the max level though. Getting to level 100 would reset you back to level 00 since existence can't handle triple digits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florete Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Level 99 is the max level though. Getting to level 100 would reset you back to level 00 since existence can't handle triple digits I'm so good existence was forced to handle my ability. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uguu Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 If that was true Nightmare's level would be so high that it might as well be infinite Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 Only level 99? Psh. Come back when you're a level 100 Cook. Like me. I'm sorry but using a Gameshark is against the rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Level 99 is the max level though. Getting to level 100 would reset you back to level 00 since existence can't handle triple digits hexadecimal numbering system personally, i'm level FF- as in, FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 So where's Kiryn. We need to battle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts