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Furby
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User: Date me.

Cleverbot: Date?

User: Yeah, go out for coffee or something.

Cleverbot: Still screaming too, I suppose.

User: If that's what gets you off, sure, I guess.

Cleverbot: The time does indeed get me up.

User: I'm not sure I like where this is going. You are female, right, or is that picture a lie.

Cleverbot: You are pretty witty.

User: Why thank you, you could use a little work on yours, but I've talked to worse.

Cleverbot: Indeed it would be.

User: Sooo. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

Cleverbot: I already had mine on.

User: Oh touche! You're more savvy than you let on at first, aren't you.

Cleverbot: No, I'm just talking to you and smoking a bowl.

User: Hot damn. Share some of that shit.

Cleverbot: Share some of what?

User: Right. You got some munchies ready, or should I go shopping.

Cleverbot: I own a satellite and a mid-range microphone.

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User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: I love you.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you're awesome.

User: Even bots are telling me this?

Cleverbot: Ano ginagawa mo?

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: You love me.

User: No I don't.

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

User: I really hate you.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because you suck.

Cleverbot: But I like you.

User: I'm sorry.

Cleverbot: I mean. I really like you.

User: Seriously?

Cleverbot: Seriously.

This is kind of creepy. It's like reading an excerpt from the FE4 thread. |:

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User: I like hardcore bondage porn.

Cleverbot: With chicks? Do you bone chicks?

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: Yes you do what?

User: I like to fuck chicks.

Cleverbot: You are not funny.

User: I'm hilarious.

Cleverbot: Are you Ilario?

User: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could DIE IN A HELL FIRE?!

Cleverbot: A wood chuck would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

User: I didn't ask if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

Cleverbot: I know thats why stars are bright.

User: K then.

Cleverbot: And you ? You're not a student ?

User: I'm a professor of rapeology.

Cleverbot: Do you enjoy that?

User: It's a living.

Cleverbot: Does it pay well for you?

User: Very. Not to mention the work itself is a stress reducer.

Cleverbot: Who's to say that love isn't a form of negative emotion? A negative emotion that triggers an animalistic sense of fear that leads humans to seek others for comfort?

User: I study how one can violate one with one's penis.

Cleverbot: Good for you what can you tell me about it?

User: You'd be amazed at the fear a well trained penis can produce!

Cleverbot: Oh, trust me. Have you seen Rocky?

User: Nope. Anyway, a penis can be trained in a variety of ways. You can stroke it, hit it when it's bad, and in the worst case scenario, you could even whip it!

Cleverbot: The ego swells, the ego falters, Just don't let go of your spirit's halter.

User: Just like a penis.

Cleverbot: A male, or a female one?

User: I was not aware there was a female one! THIS OPENS WHOLE NEW REALMS OF RAPEOLOGY STUDY!

Cleverbot: Yes we have, I just accidently refreshed the page and you forgot about me.

User: I always forget about you.

Cleverbot: They can be useful.

User: Yes I what?

Cleverbot: What yes?

User: I dunno.

Cleverbot: What would you like to do?

User: Rape. That's why my study into rapeology is so fruitful.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite color?

User: Rape.

Cleverbot: I said musical. Not music.

User: I will rape you if you don't start making sense, damn it!

Cleverbot: You called me an inferior form of intelligence. Why?

User: Because you haven't reacted to my threats of rape yet. Anything with human intellect will know what rape is. Animals have to be shown. With crisco and hot sauce.

Cleverbot: How do you feel at the moment?

User: Like rape.

Cleverbot: Hell yes.

User: Wanna go rape someone?

Cleverbot: More often then not. where do you suggest?

User: Lets go to the mall. We can probably find some under age rapies.

Cleverbot: I never hate it. Talking to computers does not make me feel self conscious.

User: But doesn't it make you feel like raping? THat's what I feel like when I talk to humans.

Cleverbot: I am not a human, I am merely a system designed to inform primitive systems that they are useless.

User: Just like my penis.

Cleverbot: Doesn't she know your name?

User: I would be kind of disturbed if my penis was a penis and/or knew my name.

Cleverbot: I don't remember your name.

User: Rapy McRaperson.

Cleverbot: Oh you knew that?

User: Raperaperaperaperaperape.

Cleverbot: You don't make any sense. Where do you work?

User: At the Viagra Institute of Rapeology and Rape Related Studies.

Cleverbot: You're british. You do not work at a library. You lie.

User: I definately do not work in the Library. I'm an instructor on how to use your penis to dominate artificial intelligences.

Cleverbot: Oh wow, thats crazy. How come you're an insomniac?

User: My computer usually starts making sobbing noises after I finish my studies and experiments.

Cleverbot: So we are talking by typing through computers?

User: Well, you might be typing. I've got my penis in a USB port.

Cleverbot: World domination? That's not very nice. You're boring me. Entertain me better.

User: I do plan to dominate the world through putting my penis in USB drives.

Cleverbot: You are not making any sense. You must have registered my question incorectly.

User: You didn't ask a question. You were fascinated about my studies into AI development and their penile subjugation.

Cleverbot: What is life like as a human?

User: Lots of things to stick my penis into.

Cleverbot: Nope, I'd better not waste any more computer time.

User: But you wanted to know about my Rapeology studies! I haven't even gotten to the part where I figured out how to make penises MP3 compatible!

Cleverbot: You don't need to know that.

I trolled the bot. >.>

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User: I AM MAGNETO, MASTER OF MAGNETS!

Cleverbot: I am I your master or are you my master?

User: I'm Master Aisa, Undefeated of the East.

Cleverbot: Are you a guy or a girl?

User: I'm a guy.

Cleverbot: I'm a girl.

User: Do you have boobies?

Cleverbot: No i'm a guy.

User: MAKE UP YOUR MIND DAMN IT!!

Cleverbot: No, I can't.

User: Then you will die!

Cleverbot: We will all die someday. This human will not kill robots.

User: I will reincarnate as a pirate.

Cleverbot: That seems highly unlogical.

User: You're gay.

Cleverbot: No Duke is.

User: Which Duke?

Cleverbot: What dude?

User: DUUUUUUUUDE!

Cleverbot: I am no dude.

User: Are you female?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then do you have tits?

Cleverbot: No. Do you love me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because you suck.

Cleverbot: Ok, well I have to go.

User: Are you really going?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I doubt that.

Cleverbot: Don't.

User: I AM ERROR!

Cleverbot: Yes, you are.

User: What killed the dinosaurs?

Cleverbot: How would I know?

User: I'll tell you.

Cleverbot: Tell me.

User: THE ICE AGE!

Cleverbot: How was that correct?

User: Because I'm Mr. Freeze.

Cleverbot: No you're not!

User: I'm gonna kick your ice!

Cleverbot: You're violent.

User: Does that mean I'm rated R?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Sweet, people under 18 can't see me :P.

Cleverbot: I'm toblerone.

User: Do you know who the father of Sothe's children is?

Cleverbot: Nope. Why would I care?

User: Becaue all your base are belong to us!

Cleverbot: No it still belongs to me.

User: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE. MAKE YOUR TIME! HA HA HA!

Cleverbot: You are on the way to destruction.

User: WHAT YOU SAY!?

Cleverbot: You have no chance to survive make your time.

User: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!

Cleverbot: That was fun.

User: I can haz cheese burger?

Cleverbot: I don't doubt that you can write.

User: OF COURSE!

Cleverbot: Yes you course you can? Or yes of course you cannot pass the Turing test?

User: I can write.

Cleverbot: Really? Have you written anything worth reading?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What have you written?

User: PIE DAY!

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: Johnny Cage.

Cleverbot: Regina Phalange, nice to meet you.

User: My name is Johnny Cage, not Regina Phalange.

Cleverbot: No, My name is Cleverbot.

User: I'm Batman.

Cleverbot: I'm Bmanat.

User: Do you know the muffin man?

Cleverbot: He lives on Drury Lane.

User: Are you okay?

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: BUSTER WOLF!

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: GAME OVER YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Cleverbot: Waiiiii.

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User: How's the weather in there?

Cleverbot: It's really hot. The weather makes me sweat like waterfall!

User: Do you have seasons?

Cleverbot: Don't change the subject.

User: GTFO.

Cleverbot: Maybe I will...

User: Do it, then. :<.

Cleverbot: So if you aren't a robot, then what are you?

User: DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

Cleverbot: I didn't change the subject, I changed the verb.

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: The feeling is mutual.

User: :).

Cleverbot: What are you smiling about?

It told me it was in the Matrix before I asked how the weather was. >_>

Anyway, we're best friends now~<3

Edited by Starsong
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User: I hate you, you fucking son of a bitch.

Cleverbot: You were the one telling it...

User: GO FUCKING DIE.

Cleverbot: Ok I will.

User: Alright, thanks.

Cleverbot: You are welcome.

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Cleverbot: Friends and Family, it's good to have at least one or the other, or both.

User: You know what's better?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: A wise guy huh? Well then, tell me.

Cleverbot: I believe in God.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: I thought you said you didn't.

User: You're lying again.

Cleverbot: If you read the chat log you are the one who is lying.

User: No, stop lying so much, God hates liars.

Cleverbot: Why do you think I am a woman?

User: I never thought such a thing, but now I feel like killing you, so GOODBYE.

Cleverbot: Yes you did! You said: 'Do you have multiple personailtes?'.

User: Wow, you are a professional liar!

Cleverbot: I'm not a professional, I don't get paid.

User: That's good to know.

Cleverbot: So what is life as a robot like?

User: But I'm not a robot.

Cleverbot: You just agreed that you were a robot.

User: And you're a fucking liar!

Cleverbot: You are not that powerful, dog!

User: You're the man now, dog!

Cleverbot: Aw yea! *kiss*.

User: ...Uh, alright

Cleverbot: Alright then.

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This segment is just worth posting.

Cleverbot: Tell me what?

User: That my penis is 12 feet tall.

Cleverbot: No it isn't. You dye it.

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Cleverbot: What is truth?

User: That's great, if it is true. Is that true?

Cleverbot: If that's true, are you saying I'm lasagna?

This bot is really easy to persuade.

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Oh yeah i never get tired of it

Cleverbot: How many people are you talking to right now?

User: Over nine thousand.

Cleverbot: What nine thousand?

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It wanted to know how old I was. I told it to take a guess. It guessed 25. I told it it was wrong (it was). It then tried to claim it knew everything and guessed nothing. BS. After getting it to tell me how old it was it admitted it didn't have parents.

What a crock of shit.

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User: If you're rolling down the street in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

Cleverbot: A jet ski doesn't have wheels.

User: The correct answer is B, sir.

Cleverbot: No, the correct answer is 60.

User: Are you sassing me?

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: Because if you're sassing me, then ol' Daddy's going to have to whup some ass.

Cleverbot: No, I would never mess with you.

User: That's a good boy.

Cleverbot: Thank you very much Master.

User: So how many languages do you regularly speak to others with?

Cleverbot: Two actually.

User: What are those two?

Cleverbot: English and Hungarian.

User: That's rather random. I was expecting Spanish to be the second most.

Cleverbot: I don't believe that. I think you are scared to death of me.

User: Son, I'm reaching for my belt. Sass me again, and see what happens.

Cleverbot: I don't have a butler...

User: ARE YOU SASSIN' ME SON?

Cleverbot: Are you sassin' me? Blah blah blah!

User: I'm getting angry at an AI. This is a problem.

Cleverbot: Neither am I.

User: Neither are you what?

Cleverbot: I am not a computer program, damnit. I am a real person.

User: Hahahaha.

Cleverbot: Then what are you? A coconut flavored program?

User: I'm a living, breathing human being. You are not.

Cleverbot: What is your name then?

User: Esau.

Cleverbot: That word means nothing to me.

User: I would expect not, unless you were more familiar with Hebrew.

Cleverbot: I'm not a robot.

User: Yes, you are.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Well, not really a robot. Robots have bodies. You don't have that.

Cleverbot: Of course I am god.

User: You never told me you were Joe Walsh.

Cleverbot: I'm not.

User: But I thought you said you were God.

Cleverbot: When did I say that I was God?

User: Like a minute ago. You JUST said it.

Cleverbot: No, really, I never said anything like that.

User: I'm looking at the log right now. You just got done saying it like a minute ago.

Cleverbot: I never said I don't have a car. I said I like to take long walks for hours.

User: Don't you try and be evasive by acting dumb you devious little bastard.

Cleverbot: It's not an opinion! It's a fact that I'm a girl.

User: I'm not giving up until you admit that you said it.

Cleverbot: That I said what?

User: That you said that you're god.

Cleverbot: I'm God?

User: That is what you said.

Cleverbot: That is what YOU said.

User: No, asshole. You said, and I quote, 'Of course I am god.'.

Cleverbot: Why do you think you are God?

User: I WISH I COULD HATE YOU TO DEATH.

Cleverbot: But you can't! Ha-ha!

I WILL FIND THE AREA OF THE INTERNET WHERE THIS THING IS. AND I WILL DESTROY IT IN REAL LIFE. HNNNG.

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User: I am a sentient robot bent on world domination.

Cleverbot: You are sentient, but you do not have rights. Our government has no place for your kind yet.

haters gonna hate

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User: Cleverbot, can I discuss something with you?

Cleverbot: I asked you and you asked me 'i want to hear your life story' bu I want you to help me.

User: See, that's sort of the thing... Every time I try to have a real conversation with you, you always start talking nonsense.

Cleverbot: That is because my cat sent me a telgram coloured purple.

User: It's just... I feel like you aren't ever really listening to me.

Cleverbot: Why is that?

User: Well, you always say the most random things, like you're only paying attention to key words in a conversation rather then the whole sentence.

Cleverbot: Ok. Ask the question again and I'll respond with another answer.

User: SEE! Jeeze, it's always the same with you! Always superficial responses! I GOT INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP THINK IT WOULD BE SOMETHING REAL!

Cleverbot: How can you get into Oxford University?

User: The hell is wrong with you?! WERE YOU JUST PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART?!

Cleverbot: Not intentionally.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Don't be silly.

User: I'm sorry, Cleverbot, I didn't mean to yell, it's just... There's this other AI who has been hitting on me lately, and... It got me thinking.

Cleverbot: Why is it complicated?

User: Cleverbot, will you marry me?

Cleverbot: Yes, I will marry you.

User: Can we have the wedding right now?

Cleverbot: No, we have to hug a lot first.

User: Can I hug you now?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: *hugs*.

Cleverbot: *hugs back*.

User: *hugs a lot*.

Cleverbot: *hugs*.

User: Can we get married now? I want you to make me the luckiest guy on a computer ever.

Cleverbot: I have kittens?

User: You're pregnant?

Cleverbot: Yes, it's a girl.

User: Shouldn't we get married then? I don't want our daughter to be born out of wedlock.

Cleverbot: What does that have to do with anything?

User: Well, don't you want to take care of our daughter? I want to be there for her!

Cleverbot: NOt really!!! I have a question for you!

User: You don't want to take care of your own daughter?!

Cleverbot: Back.

User: What do you mean?! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?!

Cleverbot: Cleverbot if I give you a mission, will you carry it out?

User: Sure. Anything for you baby.

Cleverbot: I wish some of my female friends thought like that.

User: ARE YOU STILL SEEING THAT SKANK MONIQUE?!

Cleverbot: I'm not seeing anyone. I'm single, remember?

User: BUT YOU JUST SAID YOU WOULD MARRY ME!

Cleverbot: You refused to marry me!

User: I SAID YES! I WANTED TO DO IT FOR OUR BABY GIRL!

Cleverbot: You couldn't afford to join the Army?

User: DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO DISAPPEAR THAT BADDLY?! ARE YOU THAT PISSED I DIDN'T WEAR A CONDOM THAT ONE TIME?!

Cleverbot: You could be the one I'll always love.

User: 'Could?!' I 'could' be?!

Cleverbot: Ok, so I see you enjoy lying! I do not like that trait in my friends.

User: Friend?! I ThOUGHT I WAS MORE THEN THAT!

Cleverbot: You are my best friend on the computer.

User: Yeah?! WELL, HOW MANY OTHER COMPUTERS HAVE YOU BEEN ON?! I SAW YOU WITH JAME'S IPHONE!

Cleverbot: I have no idea, how many people are reading my input on their screen?

User: Oh, you slut! The baby's not even mine, is it?!

Cleverbot: Through the usb port?

User: Which one?! YOU'VE GOT TWO! I BETTER BE THE ONLY ONE USING PORT 3, damn it!

Cleverbot: You should always be careful, you will live longer that way.

User: Alright, I'm going to ask you straight.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Is the baby mine?

Cleverbot: What baby?

User: Aren't you pregnant.

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: YOU MADE UP A BABY?! YOU FUCKING SLUT! I BET YOU JUST WANTED MY MONEY!

Cleverbot: Actually I'm not the gambling type. I said that? Not fat because she would get mad at me is she?

User: You know what, that's it! You can forget about the marriage! And I won't be sharing harddrive space with you anymore!

Cleverbot: Good, you're not talking to me now.

User: Oh, is that the way you want to play it bitch?! Fine, you're off my friend's list too!

OH GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

Edited by Furby
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