Nier!

[eclipse]

A certain someone in RL decided that I didn't have enough PS3 games, so I received Nier. I've just started, so I figured I'll pour my thoughts (or lack thereof) in this thread. Please don't spoil this for me.

Oh, and for those that haven't played this. . .I might inadvertently spoil stuff. Sue me.

Part 0: WTF, this wasn't in the instruction manual!

I thought this was a serious game? What's up with this dialogue about throwing stuff in a fire?

First, name. . .me? Since when was I some middle-aged dude with a daughter?! Alright, I have a name. . .

After the initial getting-to-know-you chat, I'm faced with the arduous task of beating up some reject models with a lead pipe. Does this look like Grand Theft Auto to you?! And who put attack on square? It belongs on good ol' X!

Okay, wave 1 down. The game now informs me of the ability to evade via rolling, so that's what I start doing, much to the camera's dismay. Wave 2 meets the same fate as wave 1. So long, stop bothering me, WTF are these reject models doing bleeding all over the damn place, etc. Ninja wave 3 smacks my character back to his beginning position. More story, and. . .

. . .ooh, magic! I ignore that for now, and begin working on wave 3. These guys are horribly slow, and they go down to the fury of the Lead Pipe. Then. . .some small, annoying things come up to greet me. I smack them around with my pipe. More show up. Perhaps I need to nuke them with the nifty stuff I just learned? I do as the prompt commands, and somehow MISS. Screw that, die by Lead Pipe!!

Do these things ever end? At least the small, irritating guys are gone, and I have the slower, bigger things to fight. Joy. I'm leveling like mad, and there's no end in sight. Just as I think the goal of this little map is to die, a big something-or-other shows up.

Really Big Reject Model's even slower than the original reject models, and its attacks are fairly easy to dodge, BUT if you get knocked down, prepare to evade ASAP, unless you like eating two attacks for the price of one. It doesn't do much damage, so it was run up, Lead Pipe, roll outta the way, and repeat. Suddenly, it kneels, with a circle near its head. Okay, I gotta hit that, but how? I take too long, and the thing gets up again. Run, Lead Pipe, roll, etc., and back on your knees! This time, I aim a Dark Lance at the circle. SUCCESS! I level up more than Nino does when she offs her mom. With a few more cutscenes, I'm away from the snow, into. . .

Part 1 - NOW we begin!

Middle-age dude in a hoodie traded his hoodie for a sword! Sickly girl is attempting to cough up her liver (keep coughing, missy). I'm off to see someone named Popola, so the first thing I do is raid the conveniently-marked points for a Medicinal Herb and some money. Next, I run out the. . .wait, what's up with the camera? A few options later (namely, inverting everything. . .this is why FFXIII is NOT a good game to play if it's your first camera-based game), and I'm off for real! I wander around, investigating shiny points and a mailbox. Shiny points yield items. Mailboxes are save points. Whee. My wanderings take me to a village. Shopkeepers aplenty! Too bad I'm nearly broke, so I window shop, and talk to everyone. I'll find this Popola character. . .eventually. . .maybe when I stop exploring. . .

As I'm trying to figure out the purpose of this town (besides shopping), I hack my sword in an alleyway. A box breaks. Something falls out. . .Bean Seeds?! HELL YES!! With that, I run around town, beating the crap outta everything that's a box. This nets me some curatives, which I think I'll need. A little more exploring, and I find this library thing. . .and a tree with some Berries for me to take. Time to say hi to Popola!

(side note: This character does not merely open doors. He slams them open, a la Edge from Star Ocean 4. I like to think of this as Unnecessarily Badass Door Opening).

The library is full of books, and a ladder Our Hero is unable to climb. Up the stairs, and we see the height of medieval sense - some chick wearing the equivalent of a camisole and bikini bottoms in the supposed middle of winter. Beyond that is my target - Popola. She gives me my first mission, and some real spending money. I decide to save it, because I already have her request (being a scavenger is a GOOD thing).

My First Mission is quite hard simple - I need to go up to some sheep, kill them, and get Mutton off of them. Problem 1: These things will kick and bolt. Problem 2: The other drop is Wool. I kill what I need to, then kill a few more for some Mutton and Wool (truthfully, more of the former than the latter). On my way back, the reject models that bleed like Mortal Kombat victims return! I put them in their place before offloading some Mutton. With 600 more Gold in my pouch, I greet Popola again (if she needed those Herbs, she should get off her butt and check the tree outside of her library). I see yet another shiny spot and. . .Inventory Full. Item limit is 10. Bugger. Right before the day ends, a conversation about a flower comes up. Stupid me. . .

The next day is almost like the last, but replace Mutton with reject models. They go down pretty quick, and I grab some more Mutton and Wool while I'm at it. One drops a Thick Dictionary - it looks important, so I'll hang on to it. I go back to end my day and. . .where did that girl go?! My character complains about his daughter going the library (dear sir, STFU, signed, a daughter who likes libraries). Seems like she's not there, either. I'm carted off to someplace called The Lost--wait, map first! I purchase all the maps I can with the moolah I've been given, THEN go to the Eastern Road to The Lost Shrine.

The Eastern Road gives me. . .goats! I slam my sword into a couple, and collect Goat Meat. One of the harvest points yields some Clay. Whee. An epic pan-over shows me the Lost Shrine (which is right down a narrow road). I run, and run, and eventually enter. Sheesh, that was long!

The first thing I notice are boxes. Lots of boxes. I destroy them, and see a ton of Medicinal Herbs. Wonder why the game's being so generous with them. . .anyway, I keep breaking boxes, and one yields a Bronze Key. Time to use it! Behind Bronze Key Door Number 1 are monsters! DIE!!!! These stupid rooms won't let me out until I kill everything, and since they're so narrow, I take damage. That's okay, I've got a medicine store in here! I chow down my healing items as needed, and kill stuff. Woohoo, level! I get a dagger from another box (it's heavy, so it stays in inventory), and eventually notice a Door to Elsewhere. After I ransack the remaining rooms, I enter the light.

More ruins! This feels like a Tales game. And true to my prediction, I see a movable box. Ah, box puzzles, how I miss thee from the Tales series! I need to position the box as a hopping stone so I can get to the next level. How very un-Tales-like. I leapfrog forward, kill whatever boxes I see, and eventually find a save point. I think now's a good time to rest, as my eyes are getting wonky from the camera.

Edited December 29, 2010 by eclipse

[whase]

nier is the Dutch word for kidney, so I was like, whut?

but well, it doesn't appear to be about any organs, so I'm out of here again.

good luck with your kidn...I mean Nier!

[Mary Sue]

Oh, this was a good read.

In case you didn't know, Nier is a sort of sequel to Drakengard, an PS2 hack n slash/RPG that is really only notable for how serverly messed up it is.

Example:

When they said "Giant man easting babies descend from the sky and eat you", it wasn't an exageration.

But enough about Drakengard! I've been meaning to pick Nier up for a while, if only because I've heard it's quite dark. How would you say it is so far in terms of that?

[eclipse]

I'll make sure to tell the person who got me this game that. Interesting. . .

So far. . .the opening scene was really dark, and the part after the tutorial battle isn't. I've still got a long ways to go, so we'll see.

The camera in this game makes me sick to my stomach. Dunno if the rest of the game will.

[IGdood]

What. The. Fuck.

[eclipse]

What. The. Fuck.

My write-up, the game, Drakenguard, my motion sickness, or my imagination?

[IGdood]

The Game.

Well more like that video.

Edited December 30, 2010 by skitarii

[Mary Sue]

The Game.

Well more like that video.

Drakengard! *jazz hands*

Oh yes, Drakengard is one messed up game. The main characters include Caim, your heroic (?) mute lead who gleefully slaughters innocents for no reason other than they are there.

His sister, Furie, who harbors incestuous feelings towards him.

Inuart, your childhood friend (Who has sex with Furie's corpse).

Leonard, the elven Pedophile.

Arioch the psycho elf who eats babies,.

And the only normal one, Seere. He is Six, and naturally, Leonard wants to get into his pants.

Yep....Drakengard.

But this is a Nier topic! Enuff about that

Whats so bad about the camera? : o

Edited December 30, 2010 by Mary Sue

[eclipse]

As the camera moves, it slowly but surely gets me motion sick.

[eclipse]

Now that I have time. . .more madness!

Last time, Our Hero was at a save point. I went from the Save Point. . .and got lost. Ahem. On to the rest of this!

So it took me a bit to figure out that you're supposed to enter the DOORS. After much self-berating, I see a bunch of Head Crab wannabes and something that's blocking my way. I pretend my sword is a crowbar, and start whacking the little guys. The game keeps focusing on that weird seal. Fresh out of ideas, I start hacking at it. Our Hero says something. Ooh, I'm supposed to keep hitting this thing? Hit it I do! A scene plays, and I now have Weiss the Wiseass on my side! It allows me to start shooting magic! On cue, the two hunks of metal. . .crap, they're STATUES?! Boss fight!

My job is to attack when I can, and roll the hell out of the way, because being hit hurts. My other job is to find a way to make the damn camera work with me. It took a while, but I eventually got one down to its, erm, knees. Rather than try to play Hit The Target, I let my newfound "balls" do it for me (they home in on unfortunate victims).

Oops, one's angry! In return, I get Dark Lance. I like playing with my balls more than my--erm, I'll shut up. This is a half-tutorial battle on Why It's Important To Have Range. This statue likes to shoot fireballs at you, and will charge you if you're not on your toes. Due to zigging when I should be zagging, and camera issues, I go through several of my Medicinal Herbs. Eventually, the thing goes down, and. . .

. . .the other one gets angry! Besides all the previous attacks, I now have to deal with a fireball attack that looks like something out of Touhou. Fortunately, it doesn't do too much damage, and if you position yourself right, you can sit there while flaming hell is flowing around you. Through much magic abuse, I defeat the second one for good. As a side note, these STATUES bleed like the recipient of Scorpion's finishing move. Right, Square.

With Yonah and Weiss at my disposal, I GTFO. Square agrees, because the door to the Shrine is blocked for good. Well, that was weird.

Part 2: Scribbles!

Weiss plays doctor and tells the peanut gallery what's up with Yonah. I leave my house, and pick up a Strength Drop and some money. Who's been restocking my cabinets while I'm not home?!

The lady who sings by the fountain gives Our Hero an idea, and not much else. When in doubt, bug Popola. But first, I start nabbing quests. Hmm, mutton, eggs, bulbs, and a boar tusk. Whiny Weiss is funny. NOW I go see Popola.

One legend later, and I'm headed to somewhere called The Aerie (with a fragile package in tow). Between me and the Aerie are. . .SHADES?! DIE!!! I kill Shades, goats, and sheep in my quest to get to The Aerie. I see a huge boar to the north. It looks scary, so I'll leave it alone for now. Some Sheep kicks me, ruining my little package. Hmm, a Word? For ME?! YEEHAW! I'm gonna save up a little money before I do this, though. I want a better weapon first.

Instead of a proper village, I'm greeted by more Shades. I kick ass to the top, only to be told to GTFO. I gladly oblige. On my way out, I'm stopped by a scene, and a half-naked chick who really needs to learn the meaning of pants (I have better things to look at than her badly-covered ass). She senses my distaste in her choice of clothing, and I'm forced to fight her. She runs like an idiot, and especially loves running into Dark Blast (also known as my balls). I'm getting better with the battle camera, but I'm forced to chow down some curatives.

A cut scene interrupts me AGAIN. Some iguana with very suggestive, erm, things dangling from its chin wants to play with me. Crazy girl doesn't wanna share, and starts wailing on it. I join in. It spits out red blood-balls that don't hurt too much if you're hit by them, and are fairly easy to dodge. The shockwave it generates when it stomps the ground hurts like hell (as in, hack out the Medicinal Herb NOW). After three rounds of those, it backs up, and vomits out some really weak flesh bag things that spit out more red blood-balls. Defeat all of those, and the monster comes back down, and repeats its pattern. I keep shooting Dark Blast until I get another scene. Instead of dying like a proper boss, it sulks off. I get Dark Hand (love where this magic series is going), and I learn badly-dressed's name - Kaine (there's an accent on the e, but I don't feel like putting it there every single time I mention her). A little more complaining, and I'm off. . .to check on Yonah, since I think that's what Our Hero would do anyway. On the way, I pick up another Fragile Package For The Jerk Chief of The Aerie and a request to find someone in town and say hi. I drop off the mutton, eggs, and oral message, revel in my newfound wealth, and go see Yonah.

Once I enter my house, I get. . .WTF, MORE STUFF?! WHO THE BLOODY HELL KEEPS PUTTING ITEMS IN MY CABINETS? Yonah looks like she's not doin' well, so I'm off to pester Popola. Again.

Edited December 31, 2010 by eclipse

[eclipse]

I did not forget this. I've been busy with other stuffs.

Seems Yonah is in pain, and Popola suggests fish liver to kill the pain. Right-o. Off to the Seafront I go!

. . .except I don't have a map. Fortunately, you have to have a worse sense of direction than mine to get lost there. Got some shiny stuffs (how does this dude carry around Tree Branches?!), then arrived at the Seafront. . .which is surprisingly intact! Weiss offers to help me on my quest to find my way around town. I tell him to STFU. After some mapping, and a small shopping trip for some plants, I find an old man who gives me a fishing rod, a lure, and tells me to fish, so I do! Three rusty cans, four aquatic plants, a bucket, and a bream later, and I realize I'm in the wrong place! I go to the other beach, and find the fish I'm looking for. On my way back, some cranky old lady demands her mail, so I fetch it for her, and get a letter for Popola in the process. The old lady gives me map money, and I return to town, smelling like fish. I deliver the flowers, and now have access to my garden! WHEE!! That lady asks for more stuff from Seafront, but I'll get to that later. First, deliver the. . .what the. . .WHO RESTOCKED MY CABINETS?! I give the fish to Yonah, which ends the day.

The next day, Yonah seems to feel better. She's feeling so good that she's ordering ME around! Well, it beats whiny Yonah. First, I plant some of the many seedlings I've gotten. Then, I do the postal worker's job and give Popola her letter. . .who then sends me to someplace called the Junk Heap. First, shopping! I run back to Seafront, nabbing some venison on the way. I buy what I need to, kill a few more deer, then go out towards this Junk Heap place. GREAT, NO MAP!

Two whiny kids want me to get some titanium in this Junk Heap. Our Hero mentions that it's bright inside. No Shades! I kick some robot butt, then get stuck in front of a jump-box puzzle. Did I mention that I HATE jump-box puzzles? I think I'll leave this write-up like this, until I can figure out WHERE to put that damn box so my character will jump on it, then jump on the ledge.

Oh, right, double jump. Derp. I hop in. . .and holy crap, robots! They like to chase you with tasers from hell, and they explode when they die. I need to restock on herbs. . .next time.

Edited February 4, 2011 by eclipse

[Xiltas Crysten]

Once started it, but didn't do much aside from the Prologue. Did you know that in the original japanese version, that girl is not his daughter, but his lover?!

[eclipse]

Hmm? I heard something about

the main character's wife's diary

but I'm not sure if that's a US-only thing.

[Xiltas Crysten]

Maybe they added it to keep up authencity or something? no idea.