Let's Play: Fallout Tactics

[IGdood]

Hey guys, it's Skitarii here.

You might remember me from the Total War LPs.....and such. Thing is, I'm kind of bored of the Total War series, I guess it's fatigue, or that I have all these other games that demand me to finish them. My friends are playing Skyrim and I don't want to fall behind them, so I need more time to divert to Skyrim, Assassin's Creed 2, Fallout New Vegas.....all of which have shorter load times than Total War games. I guess I need a better computer...my current laptop can only do so much....

Anyways, I'm doing a new LP with the Fallout universe. What is Fallout? It's post-apocalyptic America of the nuclear kind. Mutated fauna are running rampant, and people strive to survive on the surface. However, there are Vaults, which are safe underground complexes made to withstand nuclear wars and keep the best and brightest of humanity alive. Usually surface dwellers will try to seek these vaults out in search of long-lost technology.

What is the story of Fallout Tactics?

It's about you and your squad. I (the main player) am part of the Brotherhood of Steel, a pseudo-knighthood order obsessed with finding and studying technology in order to bring order to the chaotic nuclear wasteland of America. We're part of the more open-minded group, which welcomes outsiders into its ranks.

Where do you come in? Aside from me, the squad can hold 5 more members as well as a limitless amount of recruits. The thing is that all these characters are pre-existing. HOWEVER, I believe I can learn enough modding know-how to create custom characters from scratch. One thing though, I am not sure if I can mod in more custom characters AFTER the game has begun, so I'm taking sign ups now until.....iunno, whenever I feel like playing.

CHARACTER CREATION

Name - Skitarii.

Age - 23. Not sure if this affects anything.

Sex - Male. Hurr durr.

Species - Affects some things, such as starting stats. HOWEVER, that's only relevant to the pre-existing characters in the game, which have starting stats relevant to their races. As I am creating custom characters, I can give stats contrary to their race. So, unless you want to roleplay around, i suppose you can ignore this section.....

Human - Most balanced of all the races.

Ghouls - Humans mutated beyond recognition by radiation. They look like zombies and are disliked by humans. Tend to be weaker, but more perceptive (more on these stats) and luckier.

Deathclaw - Mutated chameleons who are extremely strong (they're feared in the Fallout Universe). Can't use items, can only equip items pertaining to Unarmed combat (like brass knuckles). Generally very strong and durable, but are stupid.

Super Mutant - Humans mutated into hulking giants by a Forced Evolutionary Virus. Strong, stupid, and slow. Uses heavy weapons with ease, but are too clumsy to use one-handed weapons.

Dog - Agile and perceptive, but can't use items. Plus....dogs are easily shot to death....right? Gains perks (special traits that modify your skills and stats and other things) the quickest.

Robots - Immune to radiation and poison, but vulnerable to electrical attacks. No charisma, average luck, don't gain perks.

Stats - Determinants of stuff like damage and your starting skills. Will explain in more detail below.

Strength - Affects HP, Carrying Capacity, and melee damage.

Perception - Affects ranged combat, your ability to spot enemies, reaction time, dialogue options, and some skills that rely on being observant (healing, picking locks, spotting traps.)

Endurance - Affects HP, healing rate, resistances to poison and radiation.

Charisma - Affects prices and NPC reactions.

Intelligence - Affects the amount of skill points gained per level up, dialogue options..... High INT characters with low skills can surpass low INT characters with high skills int he long run.

Agility - Affects Action Points (the amount of actions you can do in some amount of time) and ability to not get hit.

Luck - Affects everything, but mainly critical chance.

While it may be fun to have characters with maxed out stats running around, that's not going to make for a fun LP. I'd rather prefer to keep a total of 40, like my character.

Skills - They are a measure of the actions you can perform in Fallout Tactics, and the higher they are the better you are at doing them. Skills that are tagged are higher in base compared to other skills. You may tag 3 skills.

Small Guns - Affects ability with guns that use regular bullets.

Big Guns - Affects ability with rocket launchers, heavy machine guns, etc.

Energy Weapons - Affects ability with laser and plasma weaponry.

Unarmed - Affects melee ability when using fists.

Melee Weapons - Affects melee ability when using knives, broken bottles, spears....

Throwing - Affects ability when using grenades and thrown weapons.

First Aid - Affects ability to use healing items.

Doctor - Affects ability to heal crippled limbs and using special healing packs.

Sneak - Affects ability to sneak (aka invisibility from enemies)

Lockpick - Affects ability to pick open locks without needing the keys.

Steal - Affects ability to steal things. Note: You must be sneaking (AND HIDDEN) to steal.

Traps - Affects ability to set traps and spot them.

Science - Affects ability to critical enemy robots, although I think there are some other effects.

Repair - Affects ability to repair robots and vehicles.

Pilot - Affects ability to drive.

Barter - Affects prices when trading.

Gambling - Affects ability to win stuff when gambling.

Outdoorsman - Affects chance of encountering bad (aka hard) random encounters and increases chance of special encounters.

Traits - Traits are starting special bonuses coupled with a penalty that your character has. You may pick 2.

Fast Metabolism - Faster healing rate, more vulnerable to poison and radiation. Not available to ghouls and robots.

Bruiser - +2, but -2 action points.

Small Frame - +1 Agi, but you carry less stuff.

One Hander - You get more accuracy with one-handed weapons, but you suck balls with two-handed weapons.

Finesse - Less damage, higher critical chance.

Kamikaze - Fuck defense. Your defense is only as good as your armor. Deal a shitload of damage instead.

Heavy Handed - +melee damage, less critical chance.

Fast Shot - Less action points to use firearms and throwing weapons, but you can't aim.

Bloody Mess - Enemies die in a spectacular fashion from mundane weapons. Aesthetics only.

Jinxed - You and everyone (enemies included) around you tends to be critical'd more frequently.

Good Natured - Decreased starting combat abilities, increased starting healing abilities.

Chemical Reliant - Side effects of chems wear off quicker, but you're twice as likely to get addicted.

Chemical Resistant - Chems only last half the time, but you're half as likely to get addicted.

Night Person - +1 Int and +1 Perception at night, but vice versa during the day.

Skilled - Slower perk rate, but get +5 more skill points on level up.

Gifted - All stats +1, but you have -10 all starting skills and -5 less skill points on level up.

Deathclaw Only Traits

Domesticated - +1 Int, but less unarmed damage. But you're a deathclaw, let the high-int characters do the int work.

Rabid - Getting crippled doesn't affect you as much and you get more action points per kill, but chems (healing items included) do NOT affect you.

Ghoul Only

Fear the Reaper - Gain perks faster, but every time you level up your HP will be reduced to critical levels.

Glowing One - You glow in the dark, making it easier to get spotted. You're more resistant to radiation, but the bad thing is that you're spreading it to everyone else.

Tech Wizard - Better base skills in lockpick, science, and repair. -1 Perception.

Robot Only

Beta Software - You get to tag a skill. But you get glitches and who knows what those do.

EMP Shielding - More resistance to EMP attacks, but -2 AGI

Targetting Computer - Better accuracy, but attacks cost more action points.

Tight Nuts - Tougher against all attacks except electrical ones, but twice as hard to fix.

Super Mutant Only

Ham Fisted - Unarmed skill is tagged, but less repair, doctor,first aid, and science skills.

Vat Skin - Better armor class, -1 Perception to everyone around you because you smell like solid waste excrement.

Okay I think that's all you need to know for character creation.

Edited February 26, 2012 by skitarii

[Integrity]

AHAHA TACTICS!

I've tried so hard to get into this so many times over the years. I'll be watching!

[IGdood]

AHAHA TACTICS!

I've tried so hard to get into this so many times over the years. I'll be watching!

Heheh, I'll try to make this funny.

ALRIGHT, I think I'm done with writing about character creation.

Okay, I believe I can mod in 5 characters for the first mission, while the rest will only be available after the first mission...I believe? Unless there are modding limitations. I'm looking around the forums for help.

I think I'll take in 8 volunteers. GO GO GO. PLEASE SIGN UP.

Oh yeah, you can write a small biography for your characters, which will be displayed in-game.

Edited November 16, 2011 by skitarii

[Iced]

Awesome, I loved Fallout Tactics despite everyone seeming to think it's awful, I'll be watching this.

[IGdood]

Anyone care to join up? :D

Pick your 3 tagged skills, pick your 2 traits (or none), pick your race, leave a name, age, and gender.

It'll be fun!

Edited November 16, 2011 by skitarii

[Integrity]

LESSEE

Integrity, Human, Male, we'll call him 27.

Prioritize STR, PER and INT at the cost of LCK and a bit of CHA.

Tag Big Guns, Doctor and First Aid, take Good Natured.

[IGdood]

Awesome.

Do you care about skin color/hair color/clothing color?

As for portrait...you want someone evil/ugly/decent-looking?

How badly do you want me to prioritize things?

Yeah sorry if i asked too much x_x

[Integrity]

Priorities are your judgment. I already gave you a guy intending to specialize in both damage and healing and taking Good Natured to ...fuck up Big Fun. You can try to salvage it :p

And I'm a nice dude. Make me look like a nice dude.

Actually, make me black. That's my one request.

[IGdood]

Priorities are your judgment. I already gave you a guy intending to specialize in both damage and healing and taking Good Natured to ...fuck up Big Fun. You can try to salvage it :p

And I'm a nice dude. Make me look like a nice dude.

Actually, make me black. That's my one request.

You badass motherfucker.

Need to nerf your skills to level 1 status since I based your character off a pre-existing one and saved it as a new character. But otherwise, this is more or less what you'll look like, although you'll be wearing leather armor instead of that steel plate in the beginning. :P

This thread needs Furetchen and that crazy guy who was Raymond in the Icewind Dale LP.

Edited November 17, 2011 by skitarii

[Integrity]

That's a bro I can get behind.

[riariadne]

Strider, 20, Male.

Sneak, Melee Weapons, Barter.

Small Frame, Kamikaze.

7 Str, 7 Per, 4 End, 4 Cha, 5 Int, 9(10smallframe) Agi, 4 Luk.

Make him look awesome.

[Life]

I'll take one.

Kefka, Ghoul (Ghouls are awesome in Fallout 3), 22.

Tag Small Guns, Lockpick and Repair.

For SPECIAL, go like this:

6 Str

8 Per

3 End

1 Chr

7 Int

7 Agl

8 Luc

Traits: Chem Reliant and Fear The Reaper

If Fallout 3 has taught me anything, it's that chems are pretty awesome and Chr means next to nothing.

[Parrhesia]

Ciaran, Human, 26

Big Guns, Traps, Pilot

Bloody Mess, Fast Shot

Focus on Agility and Luck, nerf whatever else you need to.

If there's an option for a greasy-haired, rat-faced guy, go with that. Auburn, white, green clothing.

Good luck!

Edited November 18, 2011 by Furetchen

[IGdood]

This team is going to be very very interesting....

So far I've got 4 sign-ups + myself.

1. Skitarii (me)

2. Integrity

3. Strider

4. Kefka

5. Ciaran (Furetchen)

Anyways, I'll be starting in a day or two. While the game is old and runs really smoothly on my comp, I'm not sure if I want to do video recordings since I can't write funny stuff (this is more personal than total war, after all) and my house is noisy and any voiceovers will probably be ruined. No objections....right? Classic screenshot LP fine by you guys/gals?

[IGdood]

IT'S ON NOW!!!!

Unknown: Once upon a time, in the barren wasteland of Ohio.......There was a noble order of knights. They were called the Brotherhood of Ste-- AH FUCK IT.

Alright, you dick-sucks. I'm General Barnaby and you tribal bumpkins are new initiates in the Brotherhood of Steel.

Skitarii: Permission to speak sir?

Gen. Barnaby: Granted.

Skitarii: I'm not a tribal. I'm actually from the NCR, and Kefka's not a tribal, he's a gh*THWACK* AARGGH FUCK

Gen. Barnaby: I lost over 9000 troops in that lightning storm, and the world just fuckin' watched.

Integrity: SO, the fuck are we supposed to do?

Gen. Barnaby: AHEM. Your tribal brothers and sisters are under attack by raider fucks. Kill the raider leader, prove to their uncivilized minds that we are superior, and tell them to send us their children for further indoctrination to the Brotherhood. Oh yeah, don't kill the elder. Please don't mistake the the elder for a raider leader, you simpleton fucks.

Skitarii (weakly): I told you I'm not a *THWACK*. FUUUU!!!

Gen. Barnaby: Alright, off you go. Try not to die. (mutters) Let's see if this bunch follows the 90% attrition rate for standard recruits.

The group of 5 set out for Brahmin Wood, home to a tribe of Brahmin (2-headed cows) -worshipping peoples.

Skitarii: Ugh...that fat fuck. My side hurts like a bitch...and....let's take a look at the map. -taps a few buttons on the Pip Boy-

Strider: Ooooh pretty.

Skitarii: So uh.....somehow we had time to do reconnaissance on the area but they didn't send in the warriors to clear out the area. More for us then....

Ciaran: Can't we just rush in and slaughter them all?

Skitarii: I'd prefer a more methodical appro--

Strider: Ah fuck methods, the best approach is to run in and make it quick and clean!

Skitarii: Uh huh....hope you brought your stim packs (they're like health potions)

So, let's take a look at our party's stats, shall we?

Skitarii: For now, extremely shitty at combat. At best, will be mediocre due to average perception and that's stretching it with my low strength and endurance. The only saving grace I have is my high INT which should more-or-less make me pretty good with skills and my maxed out Luck which....would give me lucky criticals very often. I should use some short ranged SMG since I have fast shot and I don't need to aim with those. However, I seem to have the highest charisma out of everyone so that might make me the designated shopper.

Ciaran

Had to sacrifice 1 point of intelligence to give 1 point to strength since the bigger guns of the game require some strength to wield. No, he's not dim-witted, I think. Maxed out agility means that he'll be dodging bullets like a boss and dishing out the hurt with criticals, assuming he can hit with his fast shot trait and average perception. Will be very useful later on in detecting traps and driving stuff, assuming I level those skills up.

Strider

Another speedster. Great guy to have in melee with that maxed out agi (action points YEAAAAAH) but he won't be getting defense from his maxed out agi thanks to kamikaze. Assuming nobody is shooting at him, he will carve a path of blood later on. TO THE PAIN! However, with a perception of 7 he can also bring the pain in the form of short-ranged weapons. Perhaps he can take a shotgun or some grenades.

Kefka

I didn't realize Ghouls actually have a total of 42 in their SPECIAL allotment instead of the 40 that humans had. However, the game told me that they can't wield big guns and they have less HP (He's only got 24 HP!) Indeed, charisma means shit when the rest of your teammates can do the talking. With such high stats in lockpick and repair and small guns and perception Kefka will probably be our designated sniper.

Integrity

Integrity has a PhD in kicking your ass as well as saving it. Death or healing, he cares not which you seek. He also pities the fool who brings harm to him or his allies.

Okay, just joking. Being good-natured and level 1, his combat stats are utter shit and he'll probably be relegated to medic duty until his gun skills are leveled up. After that he can join the sniping team with Kefka thanks to that 8 perception.

Skitarii: Uh...say...how come none of you are armed....? I mean,all of you remembered to bring bullets and stimpacks but not the guns?

(heads shake and shoulders shrug)

[it was my fault actually, I modded your characters to have starting weapons but apparently the game only gave a baseball bat to Strider.]

Strider: (pulls out baseball bat) Well then...looks like we'll just have to shake it out of 'em......heheheheh

Anyways.....will be posting more soon!

Edited November 20, 2011 by skitarii

[IGdood]

Skitarii: Holy shit. We just got deployed.

Ciaran: No shit Sherlock, now what?

Skitarii: We gotta look for the tribal chief important person thing. Oh wait, there they are. Conveniently placed for dialogue interaction. SQUAD, FORWARD!

Integrity: Since when the fuck were you leader? :/

Skitarii: I've got the only pip-boy, which makes me leader.

Elder: Bad people take my people. Must be decision of Brahmin. Save my people, kill bad people, we join you. Kill my people, get yo own beef.

Strider: Well if that ain't the most butchered sentence I've heard in my life.

Tribal: Junkie smell bad.

Integrity: Brahmin smell bad.

Skitarii: Can't get worse than our pal Kefka here, he's practically dead!

Kefka: =(

Skitarii: Yo Integ. Take this medic pack. i think you're better at using it.....curse you for beating me back in medical school.

Integrity: Trolololol

Skitarii: Alright men, we're entering enemy territory. Eyes peeled, stay frosty.

Strider: That fucking dog's spotted us! GET THE BITCH!

Skitarii: AAAAAHHH -BLAM BLAM BLAM-

Dog: -whimper-

Integrity: I see a raider!

Skitarii: I will go hide and amuse myself by watching you beat a raider to death.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Integrity: How many punches does it kick to extinguish a raider's worthless life?

Alan: OW OW OW OW FUCK OW OW ASSHOLES

Strider: EAT THIS, AND THIS....hey i think we broke a bone. HEY WHAT HE'S STILL BREATHING! BEAT THE FUCKER

Ciaran: Sweet! A dinky pistol and a baseball bat. MINE.

Integrity: What abo--

Ciaran: GO AWAY INTEG AND BE MY HEAL BITCH

Ciaran: Now I will join up with Skitarii because I have a gun. You three have fun looking for more guns.

Strider: Nobody here. Let's move up.

Ciaran: Um...why are you crawling?

Skitarii: So you can shoot over me if someone runs this way.

Skitarii: Another raider! Go get him, team!

HRRNK

Skitarii: i think you three can clear the building on your own. We'll stand behind sandbags and cover your backs.

Integrity: OH GOD HE'S GOT A SHOTGUN TAKE HIM DOWN

BLAM

Point blank shotgun miraculously misses Integrity.

Integ: O_O DIE

Raider #2 runs outdoors, only to get shot by Ciaran and Skitarii

Skitarii: FULL AUTO *MISS*

Ciaran: DOUBLE TAP *MISS*

Skitarii: I'D TAP THAT *MISS* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

OWW FUCK

Skitarii: Oh no, you're not getting away from me!

Kefka: I will take this.

Skitarii: THE DEAD SPEAKS

Kefka: I was thirsty before. >_>

Integrity: I found keys and more stimpacks! Hooray me. You can have the keys since you're the melee meatshield of the team.

Strider:

DOOR UNLOCKED.

Strider: Sneakin' in.

Strider: Don't turn around, don't turn around...

Bob: HO FUCK MY MOTHER IS A BETTER SHOT THAN YOU

Strider: I don't have a gun.....THUS IMPLYING YOUR MOTHER HAS A DICK

Strider: OOOOH shit guy outside is shooting me.

Bob: YOU FUCK I'm gonna-

Skitarii: SURPRISE ASSHOLE

BLAM BLAM BLAM RATTA TAT TAT

Strider: I guess I can use a pistol.

Kefka: There's one...out there. My ghoul sense is tingling.

SKitarii: o_O

Strider: KAMIKAZE

Strider: THWACK HEADSHOT

Moving along, the squad only sees an empty tent with a chest inside.

Kefka: More. 2 dogs, 1 raider.

Skitarii: ADVANCE AND ATTACK!

BLOOD SPLATTERS ALL DAY ERRYDAY

Integrity: OW SKIT. YOU SHOT ME.

Skitarii: Woops my bad.

Kefka: I sense...many people.

Ciaran: That can't be good.

Strider: Who cares? Just run in and gun them all down!

Integrity: Waaaiit, I hear tribals.

Skitarii: Strider, get in there and take a look.

Strider: Well, Integ was right.

Integrity: YUSH

Skitarii: Alright squad, take up ambush positions by the barrels. Strider, try and lure them out.

Strider: Can't I just go inside and bash their heads in?

Strider: COME AT ME BRO

Yusef: I"M GONNA TEAR YOUR HEAAAAAAAAAARRRTTT

Skitarii: Well...looks like....someone is HEARTLESS.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Ciaran: Whoa, moar medical supplies!

integ: HAND THEM OVER NOW

Tribal: i'm hungry.

Raider: Ever heard of lead popcorn?

Strider: I GOT THIS ONE

GIVE PRAISE TO BRAHMIN FOR THE BROTHERHOOD OF STEEL HATH DELIVERED THEE

Advancing to the north, our squad finds themselves on the floor.

Skitarii: TAKE COVER! THAT FUCKER'S GOT A HUNTING RIFLE

Strider: FUCK COVER RUN TO HIM

BLAM

Integrity: MY ARM

Skitarii: THEY GOT THE DOC! Oh he's still alive.

Integrity: (turning around) Oh FUUUUUUU

BLAM.

Ciaran: HEADSHOT.

v

Edited November 20, 2011 by skitarii

[Integrity]

Integrity: How many punches does it kick to extinguish a raider's worthless life?

Alan: OW OW OW OW FUCK OW OW ASSHOLES

Made an awesome morning better.

[Life]

I'm fucking awesome.

[IGdood]

Made an awesome morning better.

Remind me not to write the LP at night because I found a lot of grammatical errors.....but otherwise, good to know this LP is funny.

I'm fucking awesome.

You get even more fucking awesome.

I actually finished this mission last night, but I got tired posting in between but anyways here you go.

Ciaran: OHOHOHO HUNTING RIFLE!

Skitarii: Wait...shouldn't Kefka get it since you're so trigger hap-

Ciaran: NO FUCK YOU

Ciaran eagerly runs ahead of the squad, spots some guy with a shotgun in a building, and shoots through the window.

Ciaran: WAHAHAHA THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

Kefka: He has issues.

Skitarii: Doc, maybe you should take alook at him when we return to the bunker.....

Integrity: Do I look like a mental doctor to you?

Strider: Why am I the door-unlocker now?

Strider: Whoa this is some nice stuff. I think I'll take the cocktails.

Strider: Here Integrity, since you can't seem to hit shit with that gun of yours, have a shotgun.

Integrity: -_- Fuck you. CHU-CHUCK.

Skitarii: Strider, you're the sneakiest guy out of all of us. Take a look-see.

Strider: Lessee, dudes in heavy cover, dude walking around....GAH I've been spotted.

Skitarii: Tactical charge! ATTTTAAAACCCCK! FOR THE BROTHERHOOD

Will: Holy shit KILL THESE VERMIN

Bill: CHARGING US IN COVER? I've seen smarter Brahmin than YOu-_AARRGGGGGGH

Integrity: YOU WANT ME TO PUMP SOME MORE IN YOU?!

Skitarii: Uh, doc, you suck. I got the kill.

Ciaran: FUCK, MY SHOULDER

Kefka: Say hello to my leetle friend

-BLAM-

Will: OW FUCK

-BLAM-

Kefka: I don't feel so good D:

Skitarii: KEFKA GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE YOU'RE GETTING SHOT BY SHOTGUNS AND RIFLES

BLAM

Integrity: HRRRK

BLAM BLAM BLAM

Skitarii: FUCK WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE

Integrity: OW OW OWWWWWWW

Ciaran: I can't see the fucker!

Kefka: Stand up and you will see.

Ciaran: OH RIGHT

Dr. Integrity whips out the first aid kit.

Integrity: Heheh, the million dollar wound. DAT ASS

Ciaran: +++ HP

Strider: Why the fuck did that arrow tell me to stay behind?

Strider: I'll show you gun-runners how a REAL MAN FIGHTS. WATCH AND LEARN.

Raider 1: OH SHI- My perception is too low I didn't realize there is a slick fellow bearing down on me and beating me with a baseball bat.

Raider 2: Oh FU- I ran out of ammo for the shotgun and I don't want to risk shooting my pal Raider 1, therefore I will do nothing whilst this slick fellow beats him to death. Brutally.

Everyone else but Strider:

Skitarii: How the fuck?

Also, Kefka finally gets a hunting rifle.

Skitarii: Hey look, a tower. Kefka and Ciaran, get up there.

Alex: What the fu-

BLAM BLAM

Ciaran: I shot first!

Kefka: But my shot killed him.

Kefka: We will cover you.

Skitarii: Alright....Strider, get their attention.

Strider: HEY COME AT ME BRO

Raider #5467345: WHY YOU LITTLE

CLICK CLICK

Skitarii: FUCK I RAN OUT OF AMMO. INTEG SHOOT HIM

Integrity: I can't! I'm too good-natured for this!

Skitarii: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Honestly, I had no idea why Integrity didn't shoot the bastard despite having a fully-loaded shotgun.

No idea why Ciaran and Kefka didn't shoot either. Oh wait they were busy taking potshots at someone further down the map.

Integrity proceeds to take a shot in the head but survives.

Strider: Why is it falling to me to save your pitiful asses?

Skitarii: Argh, someone give me a gun with the 9mm.

The continued potshots from Ciaran and Kefka finally drop another guy.

Kefka: You are wasting bullets Ciaran; you may fire 4 times as fast I do but you hit only 1/4 of the shots.

Ciaran: I'm laying down suppressive fire dammit! D:

Strider: COME TO ME

Job: HNNNNNN

Integrity: Someone is having a heart attack. Urge to laugh....RISING

Skitarii: I'm feeling lucky. :3 (proceeds to crawl and shoot raider)

Strider: I WILL FLANK YOU

WHACK

Skitarii: I NEED TO RELOAD, INTEGRITY FINISH HIM

Integrity: OKAY, this guy's right in front of me, no way I can miss him, AMIRITE?

BLAM.

PUMP

BLAM

PUMP

BLAM

PUMP

Skitarii: DUDE WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK YOU MISSED ALL YOUR SHOTS?!

BLAM

PUMP

Strider: You FUCKING missed.

Integrity: I uh....I didn't want to hit Strider....

Strider: Since when the fuck did I care about danger close?

Kefka: That was the worst shooting I have ever seen.

Skitarii: OH SHIT WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

Skitarii: Take this, doc. I'm sure you can't miss using a scalpel.

Integrity: Relegating me to melee meatshield now, are you? -____-

Ciaran: I GOT THIS ONE

Skitarii: Ssssshhhh....

Raider 444: A typical attack from behind? You bore me to tears. Now I have to die. D:

Integrity: DIE DIE DIE.

Ciaran: RUN BACK! He's got a SMG!

BLAM.

Kefka: Beautiful splatter art.

Ciaran: DIE DIE DIE DIE HAHAHA SNIPE YOU BITCH

BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM

Skitarii: You're wasting precious ammo. I'm feeling lucky.

Skitarii casually walks over to the prone raider and pops one.

Skitarii: Alright, this is the last building. Their leader is inside and in heavy cover. We're going to have to take it nice and slow.

Strider: OH SHIIIII

Horus: I WILL ENSLAVE YOU ALL

Strider: I wonder if I can just throw a Molotov through the roof.

BOOM.

Let's try that again.

BOOM.

BOOM.

Strider: Well, that didn't work.

Integrity: And you made fun of me for shooting poorly.

Strider: HAHA They can't shoot me with you in the way.

SHANK

Kefka and Ciaran put rounds in the knocked out raider.

Skitarii: Hmm, let's wait a moment. Maybe they're going to run out to us.

[IGdood]

-crickets-

Skitarii: Well looks like we'll have to go in.

Integrity: You're still not dead!?

Ciaran: I'm moving up!

BLAM

Ciaran: Oh shit moving back down

Skitarii: My turn.

YOU'RE SLOWER THAN A DEAD TURTLE

Skitarii: It's ON NOW BITCH

BLAM BLAM

Skitarii: OH SHIT RETREAT! SHIRIZOKE

Skitarii: Kefka, get my back. My luck will block bullets.

Kefka: Okay......

BLAM BLAM

Skitarii: Tango down!

Raider on Ciaran's side: WHAT? NO MY BROTHER (turns around to face Skitarii)

BLAM

Ciaran: BOOM HEADSHOT

Strider: Uh, you guys noticed that all this time a guy from across the room was shooting at you?

Skitarii: Oh. No wonder I kept flinching every few seconds. SNIPERS GET HIM

BLAM BLAM

Kefka: It is done.

Strider: THE LEADER IS MINE

Horus: YOU FUCKING COWARDS. Y U NO HIDE LIKE ME. YOU BROTHERHOOD ARE THE SAME AS US, OUT TO EXPLOIT THE TRIBALS IN THE NAME OF UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH

Mission Accomplished.

Skitarii: You hear that ring? I think we leveled up.

INTEGRITY FINDS KEYS

Integrity: Hey these keys don't open that chest.

Kefka: Allow me. LOCKPICK SUCCESSFUL.

Kefka: Only 2 stimpacks in that chest.

Integrity: Oh, so that's what these keys are for.

LEVELING TIME.

Skitarii gets better skills in healing, science, and small guns. He needs to beat Integrity one of these days.

Ciaran gets a few points in pilot and traps. The rest go to small guns and big guns, although more points are allocated to small guns because BIG GUNS DO NOT EXIST EARLY GAME.

Strider gets points in sneak.

Kefka gains points in lockpick and small guns.

Integrity puts all his points into small guns, but even then he still sucks.

Tribal Elder: Hey thanks. We send our children to you now.

Skitarii: Uh sure, I just want to get the fuck out of here. BAI

General Barnaby: Congrats, you all survived somehow. All the tribals survived....somehow. We did all this for freedom.

Skitarii: Argh fuck, how long do we have to travel to bunker alpha?

[Life]

My Small Guns skill is epic.

[IGdood]

Previously on Fallout Tactics, our squad found themselves the big damn heroes of Brahmin Wood. Now they gotta return home to BUNKER ALPHA.

Skitarii: Oh hey, whoa, I don't remember this place being so big.

Integrity: Oh that's the quartermaster. He's a bitch.

Strider: What is this in my pocket.....ew. I think Kefka can have this.

Octavius: I'm a BUREAUCRATIC FUCK NOW SELL ME SHIT

Integrity does the bartering because he seems to have a pretty high carrying capacity and he's good-natured and has one of the highest amount of bartering skill points.

Yeoman: Hi you can add moar people to your squad here and switch them out if you wish.

Skitarii: Okay let's take a look.

Skitarii: Uh no you're too --HEY YOU LOOK LIKE CIARAN

Ciaran: WHAT MADNESS IS THIS

Strider: Dude you're weak.

Robin: D:

Scribe: I wet my bed last night.

Everyone:

Healer: Hi I'm Celsius. You can buy medical supplies from me.

Skitarii: Celsius? Nice....name?

Celsius: Yes, I was quite hot back in the day, and they knew me as the Wastedlander. I got around.

Skitarii: I'll just...take a step back.

Integrity: Wait I thought we'd get free healing since we're part of the Brotherhood.

Celsius: Sorry you didn't buy that insurance plan. Initiates aren't insurable anyways.

Integrity: FUCK

Integrity grumbles as he pays a shitload for a Doctor's Bag (used for healing crippled limbs)

General Barnaby: GOOD JOB PEOPLE. YOU ALL LIVED SOMEHOW. The bad thing is that right after you left the elder got kidnapped. NOW GO RESCUE THE FUCK.

Skitarii: I thought we secured the fuc---FAAAARGH

Gen. Barnaby: GO TO FREEPORT, TALK TO OUR INFORMANT THERE AND BE CAREFUL.

Also, Strider wields a wrench now.

Skitarii: So there's Freeport. it'll be about 3 days' travel--wait wait hold on HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

Kefka: i thought I was supposed to have drug-induced seizures.

Skitarii: THE WEST. A VOICE CALLS FROM THE WEST. WE MUST GO TO THE 25th SQUARE WEST OF BRAHMIN WOOD AND A WARRIOR SHALL JOIN US.

Ciaran: Why not? I never liked the Elder much anyways.

-cue music-

I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS

TO KILL RAIDERS, IS JUST A TEST,

TO LOOT THEM IS MY CAUSE

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND,

SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE

GRINDING CANINES FOR LEVELING

THE XP THAT'S INSIDE

BROTHERHOOD

THE SQUAD AND ME, RUNNING FOR OUR LIVES

BROTHERHOOD, YOU'RE ALL MY BEST FRIENDS

IN A LAND WE MUST DEFEND

BROTHERHOOD, OOOOOH~ ONE CAUSE SO TRUE

OUR WEAPONS WILL PULL US THROUGH

YOU HEAL ME AND I HEAL YOU

BROTHERHOOOOOOOD

GOTTA SHOOT EM ALL

BROTHERH---sound of record disc abruptly stopping.

Skitarii: We're here! Oh...what the FUCK is that thing?

Thing: Gee-whilikers

Ciaran: I like this guy already.

Vaultboy (or Pipboy to some): GOLLY, but you folks sure look swell! Mind if I tag along for a whole? No? Great!

Skitarii: You sound like a fucking...cartoon mouse I used to watch as a kid.

Integrity: BRO NICE GUNS!

Vaultboy: DOHOHO! Aw shucks!

This guy's level 8. Stats are alright. He can sneak with Strider.

Strider: So your vision brought us all the way over here for this....thing?

Skitarii: I have no idea man, Kefka lent me one of his booze bottles.

Kefka: Problem?

All the fighting and journeying has toughed up the squad. Integrity levels up first thanks to all the extra experienced gained from healing his mates.

Swift Learner lets him gain exp even faster.

Now his small guns skill is better than Ciaran's and Skitarii's....for the time being.

Skitarii, being the impatient fuck that he is in-game and in real life, chooses there Here and Now perk, granting him another instant level up.

He raises his small guns, first aid, and doctor skills by quite a lot. Also raised a bit in outdoorsman to prevent unfair random encounters.

Ciaran picks Swift Learned simply because there are no vehicles to use yet (hence no need to pick Gunner). He's too far away from combat (usually) for Stonewall to be helpful (it prevents knockback)

Strider gets bonus Hand to Hand damage simply because it makes him even better at what he does.

Kefka gets Swift Learner also.

Strider then gets more Bartering, Sneaking, and Melee Weapons skill points.

Kefka increases small guns a bit, and gets training in lockpicking.

Also, killing baby deathclaws at a low level is a fun activity. They can 2-shot our characters, but since they were distracted their deaths offered ample exp.

BACK AT BUNKER ALPHA FOR RESUPPLYING

Integrity: Damn, this shit ain't cheap....

AT FREEPORT

Skitarii: Okay, the objectives our to find a way in, talk to the informant and hope he isn't compromised, find the tribal leader, and get the fuck out.

Ciaran: I hate hostage missions. Things never go as planned, if my books tell me right.

[IGdood]

Skitarii: So here's the intel: Where we are right now, it's way heavily guarded and a frontal assault isn't the best thing to do. Shut up, Strider.

Strider: I haven't even started talking yet....

Skitarii: We'll make our way to the eastern area and meet our informant there. Then we'll secure the area, find our VIP, and get him out of here. Hoo-rah?

Ciaran: You been playing too many games on the ba-doo-doo-boo-ding-ding machine again.

Skitarii: I have high science skill. :D

BEGIN MISSION,

BLAM

Integrity: Already? o_O

Kefka: Raider down.

Skitarii: Yup, these junkies look sober today. Squad, on me. Head east.

SNIPE

HRRK

Kefka: Move up, I'll cover you.

Strider: I think I'm a lot quieter than before.

Skitarii: Alright, take a look and try not to die.

-seconds later-

Raider: YOU MISTAKE OF NATURE

Strider: OH SHIT

The 2 raiders in the back then run away, presumably to call for help.

Strider: EAT WRENCH

Raider: OW. WRENCH WENCH

Pip Boy: Golly, you sure look to be in a hurry!

BLAM

Raider: YOU AIM TO PLEASE, I SHOOT TO KILL

BLAM

ARRRGGGGH

Ciaran: Area clear.

Skitarii: There's our informant. Lemme talk to him.

Informant: >_> <_< Most of them are fucked up and drunk. Tribal's in one of the tents. That's all I know.

Skitarii: Dude, what the fuck? You just summed up our briefing in 2 sentences!

Informant: Well fuck you, tell your general to pay me more next time.

Skitarii: hey, that guy's totally wasted on the floor. 1, 2, 3!

RATTA TAT TAT

ZZZZZZ HNNNGH ZZZZZZZ.....z...z.

Raider with Spear: Ugh, I feel like hurling.

Strider: Bend over, and prepare to receive.

THONK

Raider: YOU FUCKING SISSY

THONK

Strider: Damn, these guys are OUT.

The rest of the squad manage to sneak into the building even with their pathetic sneak skills.

WTF IS THIS

BLAM BLAM BLAM

Skitarii: Looks like...someone just got....-puts on shades-....a RUDE AWAKENING.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

Integrity: Keys keys keys, keys for van nuys~

Skitarii: What the hell?

Integrity: I heard one of the scribes sing that tune.

Skitarii: No, please no.

Suddenly the loudspeaker blares as a very angry man delivers a very angry tirade loaded with threats and talks about balls.

Also, someone turned the alarm on.

Skitarii: HOLY SHIT WILL YOU LOOK AT ALL OF THEM

Integrity: HOLD THE FUCKING LINE

Strider: CHAAAAARGE

Ciaran: TAKING COVER BY THE SANDBAGS

Pipboy: GOLLY GEE

Kefka: Bring it.

Kefka proceeds to 2-shot incoming raiders.

Skitarii: Strider, I think you should stay back and fend off the melee raiders....it's waaay too hot out there.

Pipboy: Wheee!

Genre Savvy Raider: HEY YOU SHOULD LEVEL UP YOUR SMALL GUNS %

After some time the assault died down. Raider bodies littered the base.

Skitarii: COUNTERATTACK TIME! COVER ME

Skitarii: SURPRISE

Integrity: Area secure, it seems.

Skitarii: Oh HEY CHIEF

Chief: Hi, I can run out anytime but since you rescued me I can say that the raider chief has many treasures.

Skitarii: YOU HEARD THE CHIEF, WE'RE GONNA KILL THE RAIDER LEADER NOW

Raider Leader aka Bill O'Reilly: YOU AIN'T GONNA GET A SECOND CHANCE

Kefka: Of course. I only need 1 chance to put you 6-foot under.

Integrity: He has treasure alright...in the form of wasteland currency.

Skitarii: Great, now we can trade with people who don't use the Brotherhood bills.

Integrity: Hey Strider, here's a Combat Knife for ya. Happy Birthday.

Strider: Asshole it's not my birthday. I've always wanted one of these. BROFIST

Skitarii: Alright, you guys stay put and shoot anyone who runs out. Integ, me, and Strider will get across using the northern entrance.

Strider: Peek-a-boo, I see you

Strider: I'm the bogeyman, heheheh....

SLIT THROAT

Moments later...

SHANK SHANK

Raider: Uh oh, am I the only one left?

Strider: Yes. Yes you are.

SWIPE

URP!

Ciaran: HEY CHIEF YOU CAN GO NOW

Tribal: Thank you. I can go make more water from wood now

Kefka: Ugh....

Skitarii: To the evac point! Move!

Gen. Barnaby: NICE WORK. YOU SAVED THE ELDER, OUR INFORMANT ISN'T DEAD, AND THERE IS AN OMINOUS NEW ENEMY TO THE WEST. ALSO WE LIKE YOU SKITARII.

Back at Bunker Alpha....

The new tribal recruits wonder in awe as technology defies all their logic.

Strider: UGH, this smells worse than Kefka!

Kefka: i'll take that.

Octavus: What am I, your paycheck?

Integrity: I'm sure you can rip other people off with these prices.

Shauri: Hi, I'm a tribal here to trade.

Integrity: I'll take that magazine. Never again...will anyone make fun of my shooting.

Tiduk: Hi I'm Tiduk. Also my sister will NOT join your order.

Integrity: Is she even your real sister? Because you two don't look related, judging by my years of medical experience.

Guard: Gawd, look at these primitives.

Skitarii: Word.

General Barnaby: AT EASE. WE FOUND A BANDIT FORTRESS AND THEY SEEM TO HAVE SOME WEIRD TECHNOLOGICAL THING. KILL THEM ALL AND GET THAT DEVICE THING.

[Integrity]

My years of medical experience allow me to tell when people are siblings.

TruFax.

[IGdood]

My years of medical experience allow me to tell when people are siblings.

TruFax.

Word.

Skitarii: To Rock Falls! We're gonna tear these raiders a new one!

Ciaran: Lock and load!

Skitarii: Alright gather round. The white circle is where we are. Above that is the main gate, which has a shit load of raiders and I don't want the whole garrison coming down on us.

Integrity: We can circle around either side, but I'd advise taking the right side since there seems to be more cover that way.

Kefka: More cover for us, more cover for them.

Strider: That's where I come in.

Pipboy: Golly gee, what about me?

Ciaran: Just shoot things.

SKitarii: Nice grafitti.

Strider: (whispering) Seems like there's only one guy....

Enemy raider: Where are they?

Strider: Shit, they know we're around.

Strider: Alright, hurry up.

Skitarii: DOn't see me, don't see me, -kicks rock-

Raider: HEY YOU

Skitarii: FUCK

Pipboy: Ohoho, I spot one!

BLAM

MISS

Strider: HEY FOLKS COME GET ME!

Raider: NO IT'S A TRAP!

BLAM BLAM

Strider: FUCK

Raider 1: Damn, all this dog does is shit!

Raider 2: DUDE WTF ARE YOU DOING WE'RE BEING ATTACKED

Integrity: Kefka, do it.

PEW PEW

Ciaran: GOT ONE

Kefka: Someone flush that asshole out!

Strider: I'm on it.

Strider: EAT A KNIFE.

Hiding Raider: (touches gaping wound on face) Don't take this personally, but I'm gonna kill you now.

SHANK

Moving up some.

Generic Raider #5864: ROCK AND ROLL!

BLAM

Skitarii: Taking fire from the windows!

Integrity: Fucking game mechanics, I can't shoot this guy!

Integrity: Taking fire from that fucking tower!

Strider:My arm hurts....urgh

Kefka: Awkward positioning here, can't see.

Skitarii: Move up move up! We'll use the sandbags for cover!

Impatient Raider: Fuck I'm gonna get closer

Skitarii: FULL AUTO

Impatient Raider: OW (Ducks)

Pipboy: I'll finish you!

RATATATAT

Impatient Raider: (explodes)

Skitarii: Alright, found the entrance, we creep through.

Pipboy: Aw, shucks, I can't crawl!

Skitarii: Well fatty, you'll just sit tight until we open the gate.

Ciaran: MINES

Integrity: Didn't realize they're smart enough to lay them without killing themselves.

Skitarii: Ciaran, you're the trap expert here. Go disarm them.

Ciaran: Uhhh....I think I'm a bit rusty.

Skitarii: ALright squad, just....just be careful. What the fuck...

Hidden Raider: HAHA FOUND YOU!

Kefka: Let's dance.

Hidden Raiders: GET 'EM

Skitarii: Oooh shit, OPEN FIRE!

Kefka: Someone get that rifle lying in the rear!

Strider: BONZAAAAIII

Ciaran: Wait, the mines!

Strider: (Traverses through mine field without setting anything off)

Raider: NOT FAIR

Strider then proceeds to knife everyone.

Inside the compound.....

Strider: Boo!

Brahmin: Moo!? (get spooked, run outside and gets blown up by mines)

Strider: MUAHAHAAHAHAHA

Kefka: I spot one in the building. Looks like one of the leaders.

Retarded Raider Leader #1: HURR DURR I STUFF YOU DOWN PANTS

Kefka: Oh great, a retard.

Kefka: HOLY SHIT HE'S GOT GRENADES

You have no idea how much I reloaded this part since Kefka always managed to get blown in half.

Ciaran, in a stroke of brilliance, then runs around the building, gets some distance, and blows Retarded Bo's head off.

Integrity: I SHALT NOT MISS

BOOM

Integrity: I hate these small doorways. You never know what you walk into.

Strider: Raider Leader #2 spotted.

Strider: YOOHOO!

Angry Raider: IM GONNA KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS (punches Integrity)

Integrity: ARGH

BLAM BLAM

Skitarii: BREACHING BREACHING GO!

Raider Leader #2: You're going down like a 2-cap whore!

Strider: SUCK ON A KNIFE

Skitarii: Kefka, Ciaran, clear the area outside!

Skitarii: Stack up!

Integrity: DOWN DOGGY. >

BLAM BLAM

Strider: HURK

Skitarii: Some fucker's hitting us from a window!

Kefka: Got that one.

INTERMISSION.

LEVELING TIME.

No, Skitarii didn't level.

Don't mind the red and blue numbers, those are just results of being prone on the floor. Ciaran gets raised in the traps, small guns, and big guns.

Strider puts points into sneak and barter.

Kefka dumps all points into small guns.