So I'm legit scared.

[fuzz94]

I'm too much of a pervert, I fap way more then I should

Scientists say that in order to stay healthy you should ejaculate once a day. So "fapping too much" would consist of multiple times a day, everyday.

[Nestling]

My family actually isn't very religious. My mother and I are the only people who have any sort of commitment to God anymore, and most of my commitment has been self-brought.

I'm saying that I fap too much mostly because I'm scared that with my constant desire for bigger and better things to fap to, I'll eventually run out of ways to please myself with my hand, and I'll eventually start spending thousands of dollars on fleshlights and sex dolls. When those fail to please me, I'll eventually be drawn to rape. The person I want to marry doesn't want to have children, so I can't just go "OH YEAH I HAVE MY WIFE", because that's not happening any time soon. Many people say that they could imagine me as a pedophile because of my facial features, which scares me more then anything else. . .

@fuzz: On school days, I'll fap about once or twice a day, depending on how busy I am and what time I get home. On weekends and non-school days, I'll fap about 3-4 times a day. My record is about 5-6 times in one day :<. It seems a bit excessive to me o-o.

[Phoenix Wright]

My family actually isn't very religious. My mother and I are the only people who have any sort of commitment to God anymore, and most of my commitment has been self-brought.

I'm saying that I fap too much mostly because I'm scared that with my constant desire for bigger and better things to fap to, I'll eventually run out of ways to please myself with my hand, and I'll eventually start spending thousands of dollars on fleshlights and sex dolls. When those fail to please me, I'll eventually be drawn to rape. The person I want to marry doesn't want to have children, so I can't just go "OH YEAH I HAVE MY WIFE", because that's not happening any time soon. Many people say that they could imagine me as a pedophile because of my facial features, which scares me more then anything else. . .

@fuzz: On school days, I'll fap about once or twice a day, depending on how busy I am and what time I get home. On weekends and non-school days, I'll fap about 3-4 times a day. My record is about 5-6 times in one day :<. It seems a bit excessive to me o-o.

Whoa, whoa, take it easy. You've actually convinced yourself that you are in danger using that ridiculous, fallacious (slippery-slope) argument? You're a junior in high school; I don't think it's possible for you to "fap too much." :P

But seriously, if you see a problem with it, try to cut back on porn.

[Cain Magnus]

...Enough about fapping.

More seriously, you've seen to miss my point just a tad, Nestling. I said that if you still are afraid of leaving him alone, try talking to him one-on-one at his convenience and make him comfortable with talking with you. Catch him while he's literally doing nothing. Maybe before he's heading to sleep when it's not a school night, or if he seems like he's in a good mood while not playing LoL.

I still feel as though you are trying to make him change his lifestyle for your own desire. As cruel as that sounds, that's just the way I see it. If he doesn't want to change, it's his decision. We all have the will to do what we want with our life. It's true that his life can lead to a rather distant one and laziness, but that's just mere assumptions. You don't have his feelings. No one does. It's true that humans have the same feelings and emotions that they can relate to one another, but they express them differently.

People may say they want to do a certain thing in the future they will enjoy, but that can change as easy as five seconds (exaggeration intended). Remember, he's still in school. he hasn't completely grown up yet. He may have experienced life, but he hasn't experienced most of it yet because technically, he's still a kid. It takes time...I should know, because I had an addiction to an online game. But over time, I grew out of it. I don't even spend my entire day on online games...I don't even play them anymore.

I was distant from my family in school. I was always locked up playing my games while only eating, bathing, and sleeping as other things. To be honest, I still spend a lot of time on them...but not as much. It's because once I finally gained my so called 'freedom' from school, I realized that I had too much time on my hands and I can be doing more productive things with it. I found a good paying part time job and I'm saving my money to get a car and hopefully going to college some day. I'm going step by step at my own pace to feel more comfortable about life and what lies ahead of me. And due to certain situations in my life, I've grown closer to my family members of my household because of that free time before I found a job. I find myself going out with them a lot more often. Even with that, I still have some good time on my hands to play video games and other things I like for a few hours or so (If I'm not exhausted from work).

Once again, I told that little bit about myself because your brother is like me in a sense. You can't rush him into a successful life that he probably doesn't even want anymore. It'll make his life miserable because he was pushed into it. He probably has a different life goal in mind, but afraid of it being rejected if he discussed it with someone. With having that feeling of confusion and doubt, he's probably sought out for things to pass the time. His freedom of decision making would feel stripped from him if he was forced into something.

Now, these are just mere examples of what he would feel, as I don't know him at all. But regardless, you just can't handle someone's situation the way you want to. It's not fair to them.I'll be quite blunt here...and I hate to put it this way, but it seems like I have no other choice because that's how my point will cross.

All you are doing here is making paranoid assumptions of your brother's life without even trying to consult him about his inner feelings on the matter. Saying that your own family member is emotionless is cruel. He's most likely just bottling everything up. You are his brother, so make him feel comfortable about expressing his feelings to you. If you truly care for him, then don't discriminate about any new choices he has made about his life. There's nothing an individual can gain from gaming for the rest of their life, so he's bound to have something going on in his head that he can't sort out on his own. It's up to you, not just as a sibling, but as a friend to help him live the way he wants to.

[Helios]

All you are doing here is making paranoid assumptions of your brother's life without even trying to consult him about his inner feelings on the matter. Saying that your own family member is emotionless is cruel. He's most likely just bottling everything up. You are his brother, so make him feel comfortable about expressing his feelings to you. If you truly care for him, then don't discriminate about any new choices he has made about his life. There's nothing an individual can gain from gaming for the rest of their life, so he's bound to have something going on in his head that he can't sort out on his own. It's up to you, not just as a sibling, but as a friend to help him live the way he wants to.

I'm agreeing with Magnus on this one. Though I misunderstood and thought you were older, you're still his brother and have more of an effect on him than it may seem. Also, you should maybe tell his friends to talk to him about this. You gotta have someone he will actually listen to talk to him about something serious like this, and if he respects his friends there's a good chance that he'll take some of this to heart. Up to you though my man.

Also, no offense, but you're fapping logic was terrible (full of fallacies, but we won't go there). You're a junior man, just fap and stay hydrated. You'll be fine. Besides, you have a girlfriend that you love right? Do stuff with her.

[Nestling]

Dammit Magnus that sounds like a fantastic idea.

The only thing is that his friends have the same mindset that he does about me (aka. that they're all very anti-emotion and they think I'm retarded), though I do see now that maybe forcing him into doing stuff might be bad for him :<. As much as I'd love for him to go straight into college after high school, maybe it's just not how he wants to run his life.

Also, about the gf. . .

I haven't asked her out yet. Plenty of factors why not, like me being too scared to do it, me having no examples to go off of, me not thinking that she likes me back, racial and religious differences, etc etc.

and I'm still trying to figure out what kind of stuff you want me to do with her :>

B-B-But this topic isn't about me!~. Knowing how whiny I am, you'll probably find some long thread about my love life sometime in the near future~.

[Bluedoom]

Dammit Magnus that sounds like a fantastic idea.

The only thing is that his friends have the same mindset that he does about me (aka. that they're all very anti-emotion and they think I'm retarded), though I do see now that maybe forcing him into doing stuff might be bad for him :<. As much as I'd love for him to go straight into college after high school, maybe it's just not how he wants to run his life.

Also, about the gf. . .

I haven't asked her out yet. Plenty of factors why not, like me being too scared to do it, me having no examples to go off of, me not thinking that she likes me back, racial and religious differences, etc etc.

and I'm still trying to figure out what kind of stuff you want me to do with her :>

B-B-But this topic isn't about me!~. Knowing how whiny I am, you'll probably find some long thread about my love life sometime in the near future~.

Meh honestly with how much you're worried and how much you whine....

You should be like your brother. :P

[Helios]

Dammit Magnus that sounds like a fantastic idea.

The only thing is that his friends have the same mindset that he does about me (aka. that they're all very anti-emotion and they think I'm retarded), though I do see now that maybe forcing him into doing stuff might be bad for him :<. As much as I'd love for him to go straight into college after high school, maybe it's just not how he wants to run his life.

Also, about the gf. . .

I haven't asked her out yet. Plenty of factors why not, like me being too scared to do it, me having no examples to go off of, me not thinking that she likes me back, racial and religious differences, etc etc.

and I'm still trying to figure out what kind of stuff you want me to do with her :>

B-B-But this topic isn't about me!~. Knowing how whiny I am, you'll probably find some long thread about my love life sometime in the near future~.

Haha I'm assuming too much about you aren't I? Tbh, I think you're overreacting and you're brother is gonna be just fine. Reality will hit him in the head and he'll get his act together and produce in the clutch. Just be patient with him. It would help too if you could become closer to him. It'll be rough at first, but keep pushing at it.

Also sounds like you're thinking too much about the girl thing. If you know her pretty well, and it won't just come out of the blue, you should go for it. More importantly, have some confidence in yourself. Put some swag in your step.

You perverted child :P. Just spending time with someone you love will distract you a bit from fapping. I know you have Christian morals so sex before marriage is out of the question (and I respect that), so for physical things just do what you're able to without you feeling guilty about not following your religion. Use your imagination.

[Cain Magnus]

Yeah, just keep your brother close and support him. He'll be fine. If anything, when he does get a reality check and thinks about how you kept faith in him the entire time, he'll be more open towards you in the future. As Helios said, it's a rough start, but you have to keep the effort flowing.

I know you have Christian morals so sex before marriage is out of the question

LOL. I'm a terrible Christian. I could care less about that.

[eclipse]

Here's why I don't take you seriously:

When you have stuff like this. . .get the hell off your computer, and get some family counseling. This isn't the kind of shit you ask random strangers about.

[BrightBow]

Here's why I don't take you seriously:

When you have stuff like this. . .get the hell off your computer, and get some family counseling. This isn't the kind of shit you ask random strangers about.

What's the point to belittle someone sharing their sharing their intimate fears and concerns?

If it's a lie, taking it seriously does no harm.

If it's true, you could seriously hurt someone with your disbelief and make things worse.

Also, family conseling is expensive and you can't force people to go there. Heck, I can't even get a therapist or something. Money doesn't even factor in yet.

Just talking to people can make a seemingly hopeless situation suddenly seem far more manageable.

Edited March 29, 2012 by BrightBow

[Rehab]

I really like your post, Magnus, very considerate. I think the conciliatory, amiable and exploratory approaches are the most reliable, if not the only paths available.

Here's why I don't take you seriously:

When you have stuff like this. . .get the hell off your computer, and get some family counseling. This isn't the kind of shit you ask random strangers about.

I basically agree that family counseling would among the best options available here, if not also some hopefully unforced counseling for his brother, and even that appealing to strangers is a poorly rigged crapshoot SF or no, but it's not so easy for me to dismiss. Some people that really need it, like really blatantly needed it yesterday, have family situations so delicate that that either must either be borderline manipulated to get anything done, or are so volatile that somebody could get thrown out. Nestling hasn't proved demonstrated with certainty that either is the case, but it's still at least a possibility that not everybody who needs to be on board will hear "family therapy" and immediately agree.

It could be productive to make sure your bro, Nestling, knows what you want for him. Optimally, that wouldn't be to get in his way, but to help him out, if he's a bit isolated. If he's felt some tension with your parents too, he might be open to family therapy for the sake of resolving it. The resistance of ADHD dudes can be really hard to break over your knee, trust me, so it could easily be in your best interest to avoid presenting the two of you as opposing forces, and to take it slow.

[Blademaster!]

You know, I have 2~3 suicidal friends that I want to help out, but there isn't much you can do, especially when one of them is a dangerous freak who you don't want to be around anymore since they're sketchy as shit.

Just look out and make sure he doesn't start doing drugs and find him some good hobbies.

Edited March 29, 2012 by Blademaster!

[Nestling]

Final update.

He got denied from the other two schools he applied to. So he's pretty much going to spend the next season (depending on what he can do for the fall) living as a professional bum.

I. . . might have gotten a reaction. He seems fine with it, really (even when my mom asked him "Are you worried?" he's like "nope"), but I read some creepy as hell crap on the Word document he left open (although considering the formatting, it might just be for school or something .-.)

Our family doesn't need family counseling. For the most part, we're all a happy family except for me, having broken relationships with 2 people, an annoyance at 1 person, and a worryful attutide towards the final. My parents don't really have anything bad going on them, except that my dad's an asshole.

I'm trying to go through the advice and letting him be. . . I won't talk to him about it until later, though, because he's still touchy as hell when it comes to talking about anything related to college (For instance, I told him that one of the schools sent out acceptance letters. He just said ok at every chance he could and ignored me.).

B-B-But thanks for all of the advice :>

[eclipse]

Final update.

He got denied from the other two schools he applied to. So he's pretty much going to spend the next season (depending on what he can do for the fall) living as a professional bum.

I. . . might have gotten a reaction. He seems fine with it, really (even when my mom asked him "Are you worried?" he's like "nope"), but I read some creepy as hell crap on the Word document he left open (although considering the formatting, it might just be for school or something .-.)

Our family doesn't need family counseling. For the most part, we're all a happy family except for me, having broken relationships with 2 people, an annoyance at 1 person, and a worryful attutide towards the final. My parents don't really have anything bad going on them, except that my dad's an asshole.

I'm trying to go through the advice and letting him be. . . I won't talk to him about it until later, though, because he's still touchy as hell when it comes to talking about anything related to college (For instance, I told him that one of the schools sent out acceptance letters. He just said ok at every chance he could and ignored me.).

B-B-But thanks for all of the advice :>

You are 16, and are asking for advice over the Internet. I gave you what I thought was the best advice, and you decide that, FYPOV, you don't need it. This is why I don't take you seriously.

What's the point to belittle someone sharing their sharing their intimate fears and concerns?

If it's a lie, taking it seriously does no harm.

If it's true, you could seriously hurt someone with your disbelief and make things worse.

Also, family conseling is expensive and you can't force people to go there. Heck, I can't even get a therapist or something. Money doesn't even factor in yet.

Just talking to people can make a seemingly hopeless situation suddenly seem far more manageable.

This is the Internet. If things are that serious, it needs to be sorted out by a professional. According to Nestling, it wasn't. Therefore, I have no regrets about any bruised feelings.

[Nestling]

You are 16, and are asking for advice over the Internet. I gave you what I thought was the best advice, and you decide that, FYPOV, you don't need it. This is why I don't take you seriously.

<_<.

Fine, I'll go get my family involved in family counseling then.

[Helios]

Eclipse does have a point though. In reality, we're just random forum-goers you barely even know. Even though some of us would love to help and are hoping all goes well for you, we're not professionals and can't really do much. So she's just saying you should go to someone who's more qualified then us for these problems, because they would probably be of more help to you. Or maybe you yourself just go see a counselor at school or something?

[Nestling]

ok

To tell you the truth, I'm seriously pissed the hell off right now. My decision to make my own choice about how I'd like to deal with a situation with the advice given doesn't giver her the right to tell me that my damned life problems are lies or not serious. I appreciate your advice, and I thought about your suggestion, but I felt that it would not be beneficial for the family if we got involved in FULL family counseling (Which is what I'm assuming you're saying). Individual counseling, both for me AND my brother, might be helpful though. Still. . .

[eclipse]

ok

To tell you the truth, I'm seriously pissed the hell off right now. My decision to make my own choice about how I'd like to deal with a situation with the advice given doesn't giver her the right to tell me that my damned life problems are lies or not serious. I appreciate your advice, and I thought about your suggestion, but I felt that it would not be beneficial for the family if we got involved in FULL family counseling (Which is what I'm assuming you're saying). Individual counseling, both for me AND my brother, might be helpful though. Still. . .

If you don't want people commenting on your problems, don't post them. If you do, then you damn well consider what the hell they're telling you (hint: Dismissing things outright isn't the way to do it), unless it's clearly a joke answer. This works with speech and RL, too.

[Nestling]

I seriously considered your response, though. I thought about it, thought about how it would affect the entire family, and decided that it wouldn't be the best solution for this problem. I apologize for maybe seeming too "nope.avi" at the problem, but re-reading the initial post, I gave some sort of explanation, saying that the issues were mostly with certain individuals of the family, rather then the full family, so imo, it would be silly to take time from everyone's life to sit and learn how to deal with problems they aren't even involved in. If the explanation I gave wasn't sufficient, I guess we could talk about it in here seeing that its relevant. I apologize for any assholery I may have dictated from my post, but I would like to assure that it was nowhere in my intentions to simply dismiss your idea. I've read every single one of these posts and thought about them in great detail, and I feel that certain things are more effective then others in dealing with situations with getting as little external conflicts occuring as possible.

It it makes me seem less like a douchebag, though, I did get inspired to pursue individual counseling thanks to your post .-..

So. . . sorry for being an unintentional dick.

[eclipse]

That's fine. Keep it in mind, though. Something tells me this isn't the last you'll see of this problem.