TearRing Saga: The Draft.

[Icon of Sin]

Bought a Silver Lance, Axe and Bow. Sold a Zombie Staff.

Chapter 25 : 6/209

Lionel goes Juggernaut mode on the doors and kills Jeff on turn 5. Mahter flies around to kill the southern Bow Knights while the axemen share the task of going for the northern ones.

I really love the Shield Sword on Runan when he's not fighting.

Chapter 26 north : 3/212

Lionel -> boss, Runan -> throne, everyone else -> villages and shopping

Shopping a bit, sold a lot of Iron Bows and Bowguns for some Silver Bows.

Taught Frontier Fighter to Shigen and Rofarl. The latter and Sierra also used a good amount of stat boosters.

Chapter 27 : 4/216

Holmes goes to steal the lone chest to the west of the ship while Yuni takes the other three. Sierra hilariously kills Bismark in a single hit.

Chapter 28 : 1/217

warping sorceress vs. kill boss to win

feels just like diablo 2

gg guys

Name       Level   HP St Sk Ag De Ma Lk Wl Skills

Runan      20.96  |39|14|20|18|12| 8|10|14|Sea Fighter, City Fighter, Continue, Rising Dragon, Charisma
Enteh       8.63  |15| 0| 7| 8| 1|11| 9|10|No skills
Garo       21.61  |48|19| 9|17|14| 0| 2|16|Continue, Sea Fighter
Barts      28.37  |56|22|17|23|15| 0| 5|16|Mountain Fighter, Arena Fighter, Charge
Plum       15.32  |20| 0| 2| 6| 1| 6|16| 5|Dance
Mahter     22.38  |39|16|19|16|14| 3|20|13|Gale, Remove, Earth Saint
Lionel     35.01  |57|22|21|21|21| 2|22|16|Life or Death. City Fighter, Frontier Fighter, Awareness, Arena Fighter, Anti-Evil
Lyria      11.91  |21| 0| 2| 7| 1| 6|17| 4|Sing

Holmes     18.71  |40|16|18|20|11| 2| 9|17|Picklock, Sea Fighter, Frontier Fighter, Rising Dragon
Katri       6.22  |19| 0| 5|10| 1| 7| 7| 7|Summon
Shigen     21.36  |40|18|23|22| 8| 2|11|17|Continue, Sea Fighter, Arena Fighter, Frontier Fighter
Kreiss     26.45  |48|19|20|15|18| 5|10|19|Remove, Gale, Geomancy
Norton     13.40  |39|14| 8| 5|17| 0| 5|11|Life or Death, City Fighter, Arena Fighter, Big Shield
Yuni        2.89  |18| 1| 8|13| 0| 2| 7| 6|Steal, Picklock
Krisheen    9.08  |24| 5|10|14| 4| 7| 8|10|Steal
Rofarl     25.64  |46|20|16|13|13| 2|12|15|Big Shield, Life or Death, City Fighter, Frontier Fighter
Leonheart  15.21  |35|15|13|13|10| 0| 7|12|Heaven Saint, Continue, Remove, Plains Fighter
Sierra     10.60  |27| 0| 8|16| 6|16| 4|16|Warp

Edited August 21, 2012 by Dio

[Integrity]

10: 7 turns clear = 86 turns total

sasha has 15 str and 11 skl and is also level 20

sashaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

HOURS AND HOURS LATER

11: 18 turns clear = 104 turns total

fuck you, map

fuck these team

fuck these scrubs

Edited August 21, 2012 by Mr. Sparkles

[Icon of Sin]

Chapter 29 : 4/221

Trying to have Renee not use her Warp staff much, but I didn't remember that she went before the Knights she was with anyway.

Either way, had Attrom go west along with Holmes and the horse riders. Once they cleaned up Parker's troops with the help of Sierra, Leonheart lured Shion and Renee warped Holmes to seize.

Chapter 30 : 1/222

Sierra killed the boss for a sweet level up and Holmes seized.

Also I lost Krisheen. Too bad, I planned to teach her Geomancy.

On a revisit for skills :

Holmes got Dragon Saint

Kreiss got Continue

Leonheart got Earth Saint

Sierra got Gale and Life or Death

Tower of Morse : 5/227

Warp Holmes to win.

Sierra got a lot of experience too.

Final route split :

All my able units go to Runan's team. Dosh mostly equal at 12K each.

Encounter 8 (Sealed Bridge) : 2/229

Renee doesn't remove enough monsters somehow.

Chapter 31 : 1/230

Warped Holmes to Zeek, Luna Sword on his punk ass.

Chapter 32 : 2/232

Warped Holmes to Ebrel, Luna sword, seize.

Chapter 33 : 3/235

Kept the Gatling Bow on Holmes in case the skills wouldn't activate. It did on Bal's first life, but not the second, so I pincushioned him.

Chapter 34 : 5/240

Sierra destroyed most Wood Shooters by herself to make way for Lionel. Kreiss, Rofarl and Leonheart went east to control forts while Garo, Norton and Yuni did the same in the west. Mahter also took the fort up the hill.

Ernst died to two critical Iron Lances by Lionel and Sierra's Sylpheed.

Chapter 35 : 3/243

Sierra and Lionel saved the day. Again.

Chapter 36 : 9/252

I don't like that map.

Chapter 37 : 7/259

Sierra around is really helpful since she can fight Nefka and then the Exorcists without much issues. Otherwise, Lionel did most of the work. Lyria blessed a bunch of people with the Power Staff to help against Golems.

Chapter 38 : 1/260

Warp, kill, next chapter.

Chapter 39 : 1/261

I love Sierra. A lot.

FINAL : 5/266

Lyria boosted everyone that mattered and that was in range. Tia got a pair of criticals that got Garzel begging for mercy and Sennet finished him off.

Name       Level   HP St Sk Ag De Ma Lk Wl Skills

Runan      22.61  |41|16|21|18|12| 8|10|15|Sea Fighter, City Fighter, Continue, Rising Dragon, Charisma
Enteh       8.63  |15| 0| 7| 8| 1|11| 9|10|No skills
Kreiss     28.28  |48|20|20|15|19| 5|10|19|Remove, Gale, Geomancy, Continue
Garo       22.74  |49|19|10|17|14| 0| 2|16|Continue, Sea Fighter
Barts      31.79  |58|22|18|23|15| 0| 5|16|Mountain Fighter, Arena Fighter, Charge
Plum       17.23  |20| 0| 2| 6| 1| 7|18| 6|Dance
Mahter     24.39  |39|16|20|16|14| 4|22|14|Gale, Remove, Earth Saint
Norton     14.29  |40|15| 8| 5|17| 0| 5|11|Life or Death, City Fighter, Arena Fighter, Big Shield
Holmes     24.48  |44|18|23|22|13| 2|11|20|Picklock, Sea Fighter, Frontier Fighter, Rising Dragon, Dragon Saint
Katri       6.22  |19| 0| 5|10| 1| 7| 7| 7|Summon
Shigen     22.62  |41|18|24|23| 8| 2|11|18|Continue, Sea Fighter, Arena Fighter, Frontier Fighter
Yuni        3.29  |18| 1| 9|13| 0| 3| 7| 6|Steal, Picklock
Lionel     39.21  |60|22|21|21|21| 3|26|16|Life or Death. City Fighter, Frontier Fighter, Awareness, Arena Fighter, Anti-Evil
Lyria      14.90  |22| 0| 2| 8| 1| 6|19| 4|Sing
Krisheen    9.08  |24| 5|10|14| 4| 7| 8|10|Steal
Rofarl     29.29  |47|22|17|13|13| 2|12|16|Big Shield, Life or Death, City Fighter, Frontier Fighter, Remove
Leonheart  18.35  |36|16|15|15|11| 0| 7|12|Heaven Saint, Continue, Remove, Plains Fighter, Earth Saint
Sierra     23.35  |33| 0|16|21| 6|20| 6|20|Warp, Gale, Life or Death
Renee      16.06  |22| 0|12|13| 4|19| 8|17|Summon, Frontier Fighter
Sennet     23.20  |48|23|21|20|21|14|15|20|Earth Saint, Life or Death, Charisma
Alfred     35.00  |38| 0|22|18| 9|19| 8|20|Warp
Tia        22.03  |34|17|22|25|13|25|21|20|Heaven Saint, Rising Dragon

Runan, 45 kills :

He was ok at first, then a liability thanks to bad level ups, then chapter 19 came in and he got the experience he needed to become alright for the rest of the game.

Enteh, pacifist :

My favorite healer since she was probably the only one with access to Far Healing staves. Can't get any close to the frontlines though.

Kreiss, 85 kills :

I needed an early, solid powerhouse on a mount. He did his job fairly well until the very late chapters.

Garo, 67 kills :

He's pretty good at breaking defensive units in two, but getting him there isn't always easy. Can't keep up with mounted units and other shenanigans at the end of the game.

Barts, 107 kills :

Takes a bit of time for him to surpass Garo, but he truly shines starting chapter 11 where his mountain movement is invaluable. From then on, he was a durable juggernaut.

Plum, pacifist :

Spent most of the time dancing, but her Defense staff is extremely useful, especially with Mahter flying around in areas filled with archery units.

Mahter, 76 kills :

Flight is always great, but she combines it with fairly decent combat and useful skills too. Definitely great.

Norton, 26 kills :

I needed him to be good fairly quickly, which was no easy task, but he was really useful in the first division maps while protecting Runan. He'd be complete crap without Life or Death, though.

Holmes, 55 kills :

He covers many roles and does them very well. It's a shame he has to be away from combat a few times just to get chests.

Katri, pacifist :

Her main use was to summon in annoying maps. Can't say she did much other than that.

Shigen, 49 kills :

He's good. He especially enjoys sea maps, but he does very well in caves too. Lack of defense was even a bonus for me.

Yuni, pacifist :

I mostly drafted her for chapter 16. The rest of the time, she was running around with a Main Gauche, trying not to get herself killed.

Lionel, 117 kills :

My MVP. Crazy movement, great stats, superb skills and Pila make him especially awesome.

Lyria, pacifist :

Mostly sang around for free experience. Her real talents were exploited lategame for the Power Staff, which definitely shortened the mess in chapter 37, let alone clearing the boss so early in 40.

Krisheen, around a dozen of kills, MIA :

Bitch stole my orb. Wasn't even good at fighting or defending.

Rofarl, 17 kills :

He's a great unit when you take your time, but he just wasn't that impressive with Lionel and Sierra blitzing through maps.

Leonheart, 25 kills :

More or less the same as Rofarl.

Sierra, 39 kills :

For the limited time she's available, she is excellent.

Renee, 18 kills :

She makes things too easy.

Sennet, 2 kills :

Just make him hurt a bit, boost him with Lyria and Garzel explodes under his might.

Tia, pacifist :

Lowered Garzel's health. That's about it.

Alfred, pacifist :

He didn't even move.

[BBM]

Map 16: 33/160

I was on Turn 28 before I realized I could have taken a Yuni penalty, and at that point I was too lazy to restart >_>. Narron hit level 30, Shigen promoted at like level 19, and I managed to feed Frau six levels. One particular EP where she had 1 HP and killed 4 eyeballs at a 43% hit rate, all of whom doubled her, was pretty funny. This chapter is great for EXP if you can kill eyeballs reliably like Narron/Shigen, or even just to feed EXP by letting weaklings kill eyeballs who've multiplied a lot of times. I'll probably use a Super Proof on Narron, since I've got 2, and Frau will probably not get earlypromoted anyways since I screwed up with the Flute. That leaves only Ezekiel and Rishel, and Ezekiel sucks anyways.

[Integrity]

ENCOUNTER: 5 turns clear = 109 turns total

19:45 - Twilight Sparkle: Roger activates Hurricane!

19:45 - Twilight Sparkle: Roger's critical attack!!!

19:45 - Twilight Sparkle: Pirate received 40 damage!

EDIT: C12: 4 turns clear = 113 turns total

\o/ roger

Edited August 23, 2012 by Mr. Sparkles

[Integrity]

C13: 5 turns clear = 118 turns total

\o/ roger

C14: 6 turns clear = 124 turns total

15:09 - Twilight Sparkle: & lt;0x5A=1E01>Now, the guest came

bartz that is just sick she's your sister dude

C15: 2 turns clear = 126 turns total

\o/ roger? Why not.

ENCOUNTER: 7 turns clear = 129 turns total

cool miss costing me a turn SHIGEN

[BBM]

I believe Barts and Plum are only like half-siblings, or she's adopted, or something.

[Integrity]

I believe Barts and Plum are only like half-siblings, or she's adopted, or something.

it's in the way they interact, man

regardless of adoption state he (seems to; this is the patch after all) think of her as his littler sister

which makes it naaaaaaaasty

[Integrity]

16: 23 turns clear = 152 turns total

\o/ lyria

marchen got 11 kills

marchen rolled str and skl each once

marchen

gained

stats

[Icon of Sin]

Maerhen rising in tiers everywhere.

News at 11.

[Integrity]

WELCOME BACK RUNAN

17: 5 turns clear = 157 turns total

SASHAAAAAAA killed the baron and got his book

[Integrity]

18: 10 turns clear = 167 turns total

15:26 - Twilight Sparkle: and sasha lands a 29% hit 11% crit

15:26 - Twilight Sparkle: armorslay

15:26 - Twilight Sparkle: 1hko

15:26 - Twilight Sparkle: ...

15:26 - Twilight Sparkle: runan's already moved this turn

15:26 - Twilight Sparkle: so no seize until 10

15:26 - Twilight Sparkle: but seriously

no shit

maharaj had a much more reliable 69% hit ~30% crit but HE MISSED so fuck him

19: 5 turns clear = 172 turns total

MEINSTAR

kept rofl out of combat too \o/

incidentally this patch has already translated the major bad guy as Gwen, Gwenchaos, Guein, Pope Guien Khaos, Guen, and Guenchaos.

also this chick is talking about the Ring O' Leeve.

yes

this queen chick is saying O'.

this patch used to just be sort of laughable

now it's just ...bad.

EDIT: also arkis the man is pretty cool but he's 19 atm and the last time he rolled str was uh like level 12. that was str point #7.

EDIT2:

ENCOUNTER: 4 turns clear = 176 turns total

18:33 - Twilight Sparkle: this ai is fucking weird

18:34 - Twilight Sparkle: I'm going to have to take a 4 turns clear

18:34 - Twilight Sparkle: because every turn one enemy will not suicide on roger

18:34 - Twilight Sparkle: and it varies which enemy doesn't

ENCOUNTER: 4 turns clear = 180 turns total

shigen promoted at 20 \o/

attrom got HEAVEN

ENCOUNTER: 4 turns clear = 184 turns total

19:18 - Twilight Sparkle: I was trying to abuse marchen killing a bandit

19:18 - Twilight Sparkle: er

19:18 - Twilight Sparkle: savage

19:18 - Twilight Sparkle: and failing

19:18 - Doga: yeah

19:18 - Twilight Sparkle: so I said fuck it

19:18 - Twilight Sparkle: had shigen kill it

19:18 - Twilight Sparkle: and had marchen grab the first chest

19:19 - Twilight Sparkle: ...then lyria removed holmes

19:19 - Twilight Sparkle: 4 \o/

ENCOUNTER: 4 turns clear = 188 turns total

\o/ garo?

20: 4 turns clear = 192 turns total

that was pretty painless

Edited August 25, 2012 by Mr. Sparkles

[Integrity]

21: 9 turns clear = 201 turns total

this ai was retardedly pacifistic

BUT

LIFE AND DEATH

\o/ ROGER

[Integrity]

22: 2 turns clear = 203 turns total

repeater bow mugged \o/

str up mel \o/

str up marchen \o/ (he now has ELEVEN NATURALLY)

23: 3 turns clear = 206 turns total

ROGER \o/

thanks rishel for making this clear easy

ENCOUNTER: 5 turns clear = 211 turns total

go shigen!

and mel!

[Integrity]

24: 9 turns clear = 220 turns total

charge of the sasha brigade!

25: 7 turns clear = 227 turns total

sasha rolled str twice and is almost level 40 :(

26: 4 turns clear = 231 turns total

to make it crystal clear

i hate /everything/ right now

Edited August 26, 2012 by Mr. Sparkles

[Integrity]

27: 5 turns clear = 236 turns total

13:30 - Twilight Sparkle: ok law is a pretty cool guy

13:30 - Twilight Sparkle: but he NEEDS TO SHUT UP

13:31 - Twilight Sparkle: AND SO DOES HOLMES

13:31 - Doga: lol

13:31 - Doga: i can definitely tell chapter 27 will be something like "more text than actual map time"

13:39 - Twilight Sparkle: dio

13:39 - Twilight Sparkle: this is not a joke

13:40 - Twilight Sparkle: arkis just rolled def at 20

13:40 - Doga: uh huh

13:40 - Twilight Sparkle: it put his def at 5

13:40 - Doga: :|

13:40 - Twilight Sparkle: arkis' base def is 4

13:54 - Twilight Sparkle: GARO ROLLED SKL

13:54 - Doga: \o/

28: 2 turns clear = 238 turns total

what to say? roger

29: 4 turns clear = 242 turns total

14:16 - Twilight Sparkle: Renee

14:16 - Twilight Sparkle: has been Renee

14:16 - Twilight Sparkle: every

14:16 - Twilight Sparkle: single time

14:16 - Twilight Sparkle: and now that I can see her stats

14:16 - Twilight Sparkle: ...she's Lene

14:16 - Twilight Sparkle: fuck you patch

[Integrity]

30: 1 turns clear = 237 turns total

warp is so funny

TOWER: 5 turns clear = 242 turns total

1 per level, natch

didn't use a warp on floor 5 because lyria removed holmes

ENCOUNTER: 2 turns clear = 244 turns total

this patch was getting EXTREMELY poorly translated

like "i'm not sure if they did anything but run it through google and then make errors" bad

and then the conversation prefacing this chapter was actually adequate at worst

\o/

31: 1 turns clear = 245 turns total

warp is so funny

32: 2 turns clear = 247 turns total

warp is so funny

33: 2 turns clear = 249 turns total

warp is so funny

[Icon of Sin]

And then chapter 34 :

Twilight Sparkle: MAP34

Doga: ok map 34

Twilight Sparkle: ...

Doga: is going to be tough

Twilight Sparkle: panzer brigade

Twilight Sparkle: fuck this

Doga: lol

Doga: see that's why i told you to have everyone on runan's team

Doga: you'll probably want to have roger soak up the tanks

Doga: because oh

Doga: they all have gatling bows

Twilight Sparkle: sashaaaaaaaa

Twilight Sparkle: what

Twilight Sparkle: are you shitting me

Doga: pretty sure i'm not

Twilight Sparkle: WHY.

Doga: Wood Shooter lvl 22 (Gatling Bow, Iron Shield) * 10

HP 41, Atk 16, AS -10, Hit 95, Avo 0-9, Def 27, Res 0, Crit 10, Ddg 0-9

Twilight Sparkle: every

Twilight Sparkle: one

Doga: idk man if maharaj has enough dodge

Twilight Sparkle: and an iron shield

Doga: lol

Twilight Sparkle: as of now

Twilight Sparkle: i no longer enjoy this game

Twilight Sparkle: oh

Twilight Sparkle: god

Twilight Sparkle: why

Doga: lol

Twilight Sparkle: they tink roger

Twilight Sparkle: the gatlings tink roger

Twilight Sparkle: they will never drop him to lod

Doga: :|

Doga: uuuuuuuuuh

Twilight Sparkle: nope

Twilight Sparkle: I'm done for tonight

Twilight Sparkle: time to pussy out

Doga: nah it's cool

Doga: lol

Doga: i think maharaj might be ok

Doga: if he has enough avoid

Twilight Sparkle: it is doubtful

Doga: how much

Twilight Sparkle: with wind

Twilight Sparkle: they have 48% hit

Doga: :|

Twilight Sparkle: and

Doga: ouch

Twilight Sparkle: 4hko him

Twilight Sparkle: with wind

Twilight Sparkle: he does not 2hko back

Twilight Sparkle: I hate everything

Twilight Sparkle: ;;

Twilight Sparkle: ;~;

Doga: lol

Doga: dont be sad

Doga: holmes got through it somehow

Twilight Sparkle: I AM SAD

Twilight Sparkle: and there's a healer

Twilight Sparkle: of course

Doga: hey at least there's no reserve staves in this game

Edited August 27, 2012 by Dio

[Integrity]

34: 4 turns clear = 253 turns total

fuck this map forever

35: 4 turns clear = 257 turns total

\o/ maharaj! \o/ prelude!

[Integrity]

36: 8 turns clear = 265 turns total

that was deceptively easy

37-40 will all be done in a block some day later

[Integrity]

37: 12 turns clear = 277 turns total

this now holds the record of maybe my least favorite chapter in an SRPG ever

38: 1 turns clear = 278 turns total

warp

39: 7 turns clear = 285 turns total

MAHARAJ \o/

actually attrom came really close to dropping zeek in one round

oh wait, he's back to zieg now

fuck this patch

40: 6 turns clear = 291 turns grand total

wow that was a penis

witches are a penis

[Integrity]

THIS IS A THING

 this is going to be huge because yeah!
Runan    21.57  44|16|14|16|14| 7| 8|14  Continue, Rising Dragon, Charisma, Sea Fighter, City Fighter
Holmes   27.31  48|19|16|19|14| 2|14|18  Astra, Rising Dragon, Pick, Charisma, Sea Fighter, Frontier Fighter
Katri     8.55  18| 0| 6| 9| 1|10| 5|12  Summon
Enteh    14.72  18| 0| 9|12| 2|10| 9| 9  hahaha enteh has literally no skills
Tia      22.40  34|17|22|25|13|25|21|20  Sol, Rising Dragon

Alfred   35.00  38| 0|22|18| 9|19| 8|20  Rewarp
Sennet   22.06  47|23|21|20|20|14|15|20  Holy Earth, LIFE OR DEATH, Charisma
Mel      26.97  28| 5| 8|18| 6|10|12| 9  Canto
Plum     20.06  22| 0| 2| 5| 1|11|17|10  Dance
Roger    38.52  57|22|21|18|17| 1|13|15  Holy Earth, Vantage, Mighty Guard, LIFE OR DEATH, Canto, City Fighter

Maharaj  33.61  37| 0|14|22|10|20|18|20  Sol, Continue
Lyria    17.28  22| 0| 2|10| 1| 5|23| 3  Sing
Attrom   28.07  45|21|23|22|14| 4|10|19  Sol, Luna, Gale, Continue, Rising Dragon
Sasha    40.00  45|23|16|21|10| 9|25|18  Vantage, Continue, Canto, Paragon, Charisma, Gladiator
Marchen  25.78  28|11| 3| 4| 4| 0| 2| 6  Steal, Mug, Pick

Garo     22.09  48|17| 7|15|10| 0| 2|14  Continue, Sea Fighter
Shirou   13.61  31|12|11|12| 9| 1| 5|10  Plains Fighter
Arkis    27.20  38|10|16|14| 9| 1| 9|19  Gale, Vantage, LIFE OR DEATH, Continue
Thomas   12.55  32|12| 9|13|15| 0| 3|10  hahahahaha neither does thomas
Shigen   29.50  39|17|25|25|13| 0|11|19  Sol, Continue, Rising Dragon, Sea Fighter, Frontier Fighter, Gladiator
Renee    15.90  23| 0|13|13| 4|16| 9|18  Summon, Frontier Fighter

RUNAN - 39 KILLS

Runan killed primarily Infantry and secondarily Monsters and Bandits, comprising 33% and 18*2% of his kills, with Swords, comprising 100% of his kills, in the Plains, comprising 17% of his kills.

he oscillated between "hey he's pretty neat!" and "what a fucking roy level load" like a fucking sine wave holy crap

HOLMES - 53 KILLS

Holmes killed primarily Monsters and secondarily Fliers, comprising 54% and 47% of his kills, with Bows, comprising 83% of his kills, in the Frontier, comprising 58% of his kills.

i am of two minds on holmes:

on the one hand, for most of the game he's an unlikeable ass and i disliked him a lot for a lot of story scenes

on the other hand, he is a competent unit and sometimes he wasn't an ass

on the third hand the patch probably made him a lot less tolerable with the everything being bad

also he did get the last shot on the final boss

KATRI - PACIFIST

she healed and did literally nothing else ever

wait

she used that zombie staff in

wait

i scrapped that run of that chapter

she might not have used the zombie staff ever, cbf to check

ENTEH - PACIFIST

see above except i liked her more

TIA - 2 KILLS

Tia killed exclusively Flying Monsters, comprising 100% of her kills, with Swords, comprising 100% of her kills, in the Frontier, comprising 100% of her kills.

she killed two sperms in the final and is in the plot

ALFRED - 1 KILLS

Alfred killed a single Mage with Wind in the Frontier.

fun story he died once

double fun story the patch calls him alfrit

funniest story that isn't the dumbest thing the patch did

SENNET - PACIFIST

ok that's not fair he did stab the final boss in the face and crit

and he did get meteored in the brainpan

so he wasn't a pacifist

but he didn't kill anybody

MEL - 25 KILLS

Mel killed primarily Monsters and secondarily Fliers, comprising 64% and 52% of her kills, with Swords, comprising 100% of her kills, in the Frontier, comprising 56% of her kills.

mel was sexy as hell

but otherwise

she didn't use the magic staff but literally twice ever

but she was a cantoing healer and everybody knows that gives me a huge erection

so A+

PLUM - PACIFIST

getting her kidnapped and the scenes that ensued made me feel REALLY bad

like v. v. totes badness

ROGER - 127 KILLS

Roger killed primarily Monsters and secondarily Fliers, comprising 39% and 20% of his kills, with Lances, comprising 59% of his kills, in the Frontier, comprising 36% of his kills.

roger was so fucking gorgeous

and i mean that in both no homo and homo ways

uguuuuuuu

MAHARAJ - 96 KILLS

Maharaj killed primarily Monsters and secondarily Armors, comprising 35% and 30% of his kills, with Wind, comprising 68% of his kills, Indoors, comprising 31% of his kills.

maharaj was neglected early on by me

maharaj was not neglected later

maharaj, like holmes, is an asshole in cutscenes

maharaj, unlike holmes, is actually an army

LYRIA - PACIFIST

k

ATTROM - 68 KILLS

Attrom killed primarily Monsters and secondarily Fliers, comprising 57% and 22% of his kills, with Swords, comprising 100% of his kills, Indoors, comprising 38% of his kills.

he was pretty ok until we did a massive skilldump on him at yoda's crib

then he just started to fuck everything

by the end of the game he was literally my best combatant alongside maharaj

SASHA - 90 KILLS

SASHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA killed primarily Infantry and secondarily Armors, comprising 34% and 18% of her kills, with Swords, comprising 66% of her kills, in the Frontier, comprising 23% of her kills.

sashaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

she almost naturally capped str

i made the executive decision to abuse her final level when i found out she had 22/23 str at 39/40

that's why i said almost natural

10/10 10/10 10/10 10/10

MARCHEN - 20 KILLS

MARCHEN killed primarily Monsters and secondarily Fliers, comprising 70% and 65% of his kills, with Swords, comprising 100% of his kills, in the Frontier, comprising 65% of his kills.

MARCHEN rolled str twice

GARO - 48 KILLS

Garo killed primarily Monsters and secondarily Fliers, comprising 33% and 23% of his kill, with Axes, comprising 100% of his kills, in the Ocean, comprising 31% of his kills.

garo had sole claim on the master axe

garo went places, man

SHIROU - 16 KILLS

Shirou killed primarily Monsters and secondarily Fliers, comprising 69% and 63% of his kills, with Bows, comprising 100% of his kills, in the Forest, comprising 69% of his kills.

hahaha MARCHEN got more kills than this fag

waste of space, approximately as cool and useful as shirou from f/sn

which is to say not

ARKIS - 50 KILLS

Arkis killed primarily Monsters and Infantry, each comprising 26% of his kills, with Lances, comprising 94% of his kills, in the Forest, comprising 22% of his kills.

fun fact time: arkis is currently 3 points str cursed and 2 points def cursed

this is a tremendous improvement over his previous life

his first point of def was rolled at level 19 or 20

his maximum point of str cursing was 5 points

arkis was a useless shit and i hate him

but god was he so very, very bro

THOMAS - 13 KILLS

Thomas killed primarily Fliers and secondarily Bandits, comprising 38% and 31% of his kills, with Bows, comprising 100% of his kills; in the Mountain, Frontier, and Ocean, each comprising 23% of his kills.

mostly worthless but better than shirou by far

SHIGEN - 76 KILLS

Shigen killed primarily Monsters and secondarily Fliers, comprising 47% and 39% of his kills, with Swords, comprising 100% of his kills, in the Frontier, comprising 46% of his kills.

at first, shigens epically terribly line "let's go literally crash his party!" (a line nobody except crashgordon could get away with saying) made me hate him. a lot. more than holmes.

but then when krishnu cried at him and he decided to go murder a guy i decided, yeah, i like him

attrom was better though

RENEE - PACIFIST

warp

fun fact: the patch called her lene

but renee in conversations

\o/ patcfh

TRANSLATION PATCH - 1 KILLS

Translation Patch killed exclusively My Mind, with Bad Editing, in This Room.

this patch was shit

like holy crap

at points it got worse and i didn't think it could get worse

units changed names mid conversation

yoda assured you you'd get gale and you'd get hurricane

LIEBE CALIBUR

one conversation had (lyria?) call yuni yuni-chan. one conversation ever.

the final boss had at least seven different names he was called by at various points by the same characters

and, finally

they did the worst thing possible

and directly translated - or worse, directly ROMANIZED - at many, many points

protip: while japanese people prefer not to use pronouns a lot, it sounds awkward as balls in english

and i know she called him "sennet onii-san" in japanese, but that does not mean the proper translation was "sennet big brother"

and then several times characters had inexplicably obviously direct katakanad names, like karla was caled "karura" at least once

the whole thing just made me alternately :| and ;/

EDIT:

[spoiler=random evidence from my bitter ramblings at the epilogue to dio]17:51 - Twilight Sparkle: aw come on

17:51 - Twilight Sparkle: in the final comversation they keep calling the purple hair knight chick estelle

17:51 - Twilight Sparkle: after calling her esther (far superior) all game

17:51 - Twilight Sparkle: :(

17:51 - Doga: lol

17:52 - Twilight Sparkle: haha

17:52 - Twilight Sparkle: the translationg isn't even done

17:52 - Twilight Sparkle: after that conversation it segued into gibberish

17:52 - Twilight Sparkle: just blocks of black

17:52 - Twilight Sparkle: ahh tia said the first intelligible thing of the conversation

17:53 - Twilight Sparkle: TIA:

17:53 - Twilight Sparkle: ) &

17:53 - Doga: LOL

17:54 - Twilight Sparkle: and now we're back to words

17:54 - Twilight Sparkle: and jesus is here with

17:54 - Twilight Sparkle: Duke Tatousu,

17:54 - Twilight Sparkle: as my enemy, do you confident that you can

17:54 - Twilight Sparkle: win against me.

17:54 - Doga: LOL

17:54 - Twilight Sparkle: and then notrabant

17:54 - Twilight Sparkle: Fuuthere are overestimate fools anywhere.

17:54 - Twilight Sparkle: We will help Runan

17:54 - Twilight Sparkle: If,this one dare to go against my words

17:54 - Twilight Sparkle: I will lead and put the whole army of Leda in order.

17:55 - Twilight Sparkle: Probably,even though it isn't necessary

17:55 - Twilight Sparkle: and then holmes

17:55 - Twilight Sparkle: Runan is under my protection,

17:55 - Twilight Sparkle: he don't need your hindrance help.

17:55 - Twilight Sparkle: Duke Totousu,

17:55 - Twilight Sparkle: Even if you collect hundred thousands troop

17:55 - Twilight Sparkle: s

17:55 - Twilight Sparkle: Runan needn't to moving even one of his fin

17:55 - Twilight Sparkle: gertips

17:55 - Twilight Sparkle: But right now,

17:56 - Twilight Sparkle: shouldn't I take your head down from your n

17:56 - Twilight Sparkle: eck

17:56 - Twilight Sparkle: fortunately duke totousu has a response

17:56 - Doga: WHO'S TOTOUSU

17:56 - Twilight Sparkle: a cutting one

17:56 - Doga: what does he look like

17:56 - Twilight Sparkle: Ugugugu

17:56 - Twilight Sparkle: he's the guy who keeps trying to marry enteh

17:56 - Twilight Sparkle: haha

17:56 - Doga: HUH

17:56 - Twilight Sparkle: it got better

17:56 - Doga: i see

17:56 - Twilight Sparkle: Ugugugu

17:56 - Doga: enteh looks like celice

17:56 - Twilight Sparkle: Are you threatening me

17:56 - Twilight Sparkle: (hint: holmes just said he wanted to cut your head off. i think.)

17:57 - Doga: lol

17:57 - Twilight Sparkle: enteh is here now

17:57 - Twilight Sparkle: this conversation is made of gold man

17:57 - Twilight Sparkle: From young day, I have dreamed

17:57 - Twilight Sparkle: for a long time

17:57 - Twilight Sparkle: I have kept thinking

17:57 - Twilight Sparkle: Lord RunanI like you

17:57 - Twilight Sparkle: even now

17:57 - Twilight Sparkle: er

17:57 - Twilight Sparkle: my bad

17:57 - Twilight Sparkle: even nowand hereafter^

17:57 - Twilight Sparkle: only you

17:57 - Twilight Sparkle: the only one who I believe in and live with

17:58 - Twilight Sparkle: and scene cut

17:58 - Twilight Sparkle: wait eugen is holmes' uncle?

17:58 - Doga: uuuuuuuuuuuh

17:58 - Doga: i heard holmes was related to someone in particular

17:58 - Doga: but i forgot who

17:58 - Doga: oh

17:58 - Doga: yeah

17:58 - Twilight Sparkle: actually

17:58 - Doga: it was attrom

17:58 - Twilight Sparkle: I bet

17:58 - Twilight Sparkle: he just gave him some coy honoriffic in japanese

17:59 - Twilight Sparkle: and it got literally translated

17:59 - Twilight Sparkle: If we don't move,

17:59 - Twilight Sparkle: the sun will go down and it will be dark

17:59 - Twilight Sparkle: REALLY HOLMES

17:59 - Doga: JAPANESE HONORIFICS O/

17:59 - Doga: lol

17:59 - Doga: "in another few hours the sun will rise"

18:00 - Twilight Sparkle: lol

18:00 - Twilight Sparkle: julia

18:00 - Twilight Sparkle: Yes,I don't have any aims to do anymore.

18:00 - Twilight Sparkle: uuuuh

18:00 - Twilight Sparkle: did julia just marry garo

18:00 - Twilight Sparkle: what the fuck

18:00 - Doga: garo saved her as a child

18:00 - Doga: lol gimme the text

18:00 - Twilight Sparkle: already past it

18:01 - Twilight Sparkle: but she kept talking about dreaming about living with the man who saved her

18:01 - Twilight Sparkle: in its stilted and shoddily translated way it sounded, uh, romantic

18:01 - Twilight Sparkle: lol mel

18:01 - Twilight Sparkle: lord Afred,

18:01 - Twilight Sparkle: do you know who I am

18:02 - Twilight Sparkle: ESSCUSE ME ALFRED YOU MUST NOT KNOW WHO I AM

18:02 - Doga: I'M THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH

18:02 - Twilight Sparkle: lol

18:02 - Twilight Sparkle: Therefore,when we met in underground templ

18:02 - Twilight Sparkle: e

18:02 - Twilight Sparkle: I knew it was father right away.

18:02 - Twilight Sparkle: I was very happy

18:02 - Twilight Sparkle: My tears can not stop

18:02 - Twilight Sparkle: But father

18:02 - Twilight Sparkle: didn't talk a word with me

18:02 - Twilight Sparkle: Why

18:02 - Twilight Sparkle: Why did you do that,father

18:03 - Twilight Sparkle: this is just

18:03 - Twilight Sparkle: this isn't even engrish

18:03 - Twilight Sparkle: there are guys at my school

18:03 - Twilight Sparkle: literally fresh off the plane from saudi arabia

18:03 - Twilight Sparkle: who could translate this better

18:03 - Doga: with a few hints to how allah is great

18:04 - Twilight Sparkle: i'd love that

18:04 - Twilight Sparkle: aaaah

18:04 - Twilight Sparkle: Shilfiz (who?) is being talked about

18:04 - Twilight Sparkle: between Melvin and Alfred

18:04 - Doga: z?

18:04 - Twilight Sparkle: and Alfred says

18:04 - Doga: oh

18:04 - Twilight Sparkle: She maybe won't forgive me for

18:04 - Doga: sylpheeze

18:04 - Twilight Sparkle: didn't return in the past

18:05 - Doga: that's the woman priest back in chapter 4

18:05 - Doga: 5

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: WHAT

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: the F

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: mel:

18:05 - Doga: she hid in a corner

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: Alicia

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: What did you mean

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: You had relations with father

18:05 - Doga: lol

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: response:

18:05 - Doga: hot

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: Yes,for a certain period of time.

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: I, like you, call him

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: father too

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: .

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: .

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: .

18:05 - Doga: sugar daddy!

18:05 - Twilight Sparkle: aaaawkward

18:07 - Twilight Sparkle: \o/ math!

18:07 - Twilight Sparkle: Yes,from when I was 4,

18:07 - Twilight Sparkle: last yearwe separated when I reached 17,

18:07 - Twilight Sparkle: 13 years,is the period of time we stayed toge

18:07 - Twilight Sparkle: ther.

18:07 - Doga: so she had her loli period with him huh

18:07 - Twilight Sparkle: haha

18:07 - Twilight Sparkle: and alicia's flowery speech turns into

18:07 - Twilight Sparkle: I return lord Afred to you guys,

18:07 - Twilight Sparkle: in a perfectly shape,and I want to

18:08 - Twilight Sparkle: become a friend of you

18:08 - Twilight Sparkle: >

18:08 - Twilight Sparkle: Alicia,

18:08 - Twilight Sparkle: you come to Mars too

18:08 - Twilight Sparkle: Let's live together

18:08 - Doga: and roger is all hell yes

18:09 - Twilight Sparkle: Holmes

18:09 - Twilight Sparkle: I understand,until Holmes reuturns,

18:09 - Twilight Sparkle: I will stay by Katri's side

18:09 - Twilight Sparkle: So it's okay

18:09 - Twilight Sparkle: thanks xeno

18:09 - Twilight Sparkle: Xeno is an

18:10 - Twilight Sparkle: Idiot

18:10 - Twilight Sparkle: thanks yuni

18:10 - Doga: lol

18:10 - Twilight Sparkle: XENO WA BAKA DES

18:11 - Twilight Sparkle: wtf

18:11 - Twilight Sparkle: samson

18:11 - Twilight Sparkle: Well,don't get so angry,Holmes.

18:11 - Twilight Sparkle: If it's not me,

18:11 - Twilight Sparkle: you was impossible to change the road

18:11 - Twilight Sparkle: was waiting for you.

18:11 - Twilight Sparkle: what the fuck does that mean

18:11 - Doga: uuuuuuuuuuuuh

18:11 - Doga: yeah

18:11 - Twilight Sparkle: Hey Samson,

18:11 - Twilight Sparkle: what is your true identify

18:12 - Twilight Sparkle: HAHAHA

18:12 - Twilight Sparkle: okay

18:12 - Twilight Sparkle: yoda tells holmes who samson is

18:12 - Twilight Sparkle: and holmes responds with

18:12 - Twilight Sparkle: Whattt

18:12 - Doga: afaik he's the uh

18:12 - Doga: son in law of the king of aerial

18:12 - Twilight Sparkle: three ts

18:12 - Twilight Sparkle: also quoth runan

18:12 - Twilight Sparkle: Rennie

18:12 - Twilight Sparkle: Aah,pause=05>I see

18:13 - Twilight Sparkle: Goodbye you two,

18:13 - Twilight Sparkle: keep your happiness at best

18:13 - Doga: whozzat

18:13 - Twilight Sparkle: uuh

18:13 - Twilight Sparkle: holmes? to notrabant and tia

18:13 - Twilight Sparkle: That Yuniwhat did she cried for

18:13 - Doga: lol

18:13 - Twilight Sparkle: WHAT DID SHE CRIED FOR

18:14 - Doga: now that just sounded like megaman x4

18:14 - Twilight Sparkle: but then who was phone

18:14 - Twilight Sparkle: MARCHEN is here

18:14 - Twilight Sparkle: Hey,Holmes.

18:14 - Twilight Sparkle: sorry

18:14 - Twilight Sparkle: I will say farewell here

18:14 - Twilight Sparkle: Y,you guys

18:14 - Twilight Sparkle: Rememberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

18:15 - Twilight Sparkle: (direct transcript)

18:15 - Doga: THE MARCHEN

18:15 - Twilight Sparkle: runan:

18:15 - Twilight Sparkle: Holmes,

18:15 - Twilight Sparkle: things happened in the underground temple

18:15 - Twilight Sparkle: are still unbelieveable for me.

18:15 - Twilight Sparkle: Were they really happen

18:15 - Twilight Sparkle: Aah

18:15 - Twilight Sparkle: I still don't know about the truth myself too.

18:15 - Twilight Sparkle: MiradonaKaruonUtnaEmiyu

18:15 - Twilight Sparkle: who is these ancient gods?

18:16 - Twilight Sparkle: Plum,let's go home.

18:16 - Twilight Sparkle: Grandfather must is lengthening his neck to

18:16 - Twilight Sparkle: wait for us

18:16 - Doga: lol!

18:18 - Twilight Sparkle: sorry for being selfishness

18:18 - Twilight Sparkle: :9 kate

18:18 - Twilight Sparkle: Leeza

18:18 - Doga: kate is selfishness incarnate

18:18 - Twilight Sparkle: You are a good wife

18:18 - Twilight Sparkle: I,proud of you.

18:18 - Twilight Sparkle: Will you help me hereafter

18:18 - Doga: now make me sammich

18:19 - Twilight Sparkle: Yes,your majesty

18:19 - Twilight Sparkle: As long as I live

18:19 - Twilight Sparkle: Your courage,was returned his majesty to me

18:19 - Twilight Sparkle: Sasha,thank you

18:19 - Twilight Sparkle: Aah

18:19 - Twilight Sparkle: mother

18:20 - Twilight Sparkle: How can you know that,

18:20 - Twilight Sparkle: women is hard to understand.

18:20 - Twilight Sparkle: thanks holmes!

18:20 - Twilight Sparkle: how about katri? asks runan

18:20 - Twilight Sparkle: That fellow doesn't have anyth

18:21 - Twilight Sparkle: ing to do with wthis

18:21 - Twilight Sparkle: Shit

18:21 - Twilight Sparkle: holmes is cool because he swaers

18:21 - Twilight Sparkle: haha

18:22 - Twilight Sparkle: shigen smuggled their bitches onto the ship

18:22 - Twilight Sparkle: so presumably

18:22 - Twilight Sparkle: shigen's been smuggling katri and enteh THIS WHOLE TIME

18:22 - Twilight Sparkle: what a motherfucking boss

18:22 - Doga: lol

18:22 - Twilight Sparkle: I hope Meeve can flap your wings

18:22 - Twilight Sparkle: fully like the seagull too.

18:23 - Twilight Sparkle: (to meeve)

18:23 - Twilight Sparkle: With eternity gentleness

18:23 - Twilight Sparkle: and that's the game

18:23 - Twilight Sparkle: holy christ that epilogue was gold and also lasted FOREVER

18:23 - Doga: hey almost everyone had a line too

it did one cool thing though: translated God Hand thunder magic as Indra. props.

Edited August 31, 2012 by Mr. Sparkles

[BBM]

oops I posted in the wrong draft thread derp

Edited February 10, 2013 by BBM