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FE5 : MANLIEST RUN


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Pretty typical gendered run, but instead, the lovely ladies are taking a well deserved vacation. It is time for a MANLY challenge indeed, involving :

NO dancing

NO godmode Eyvel

ONE flyer

LIMITED staves

LOTS of MUSCLE and FACIAL HAIR

It's also in moonrunes because the patch sucks.

[spoiler=CHAPTER ONE : NO ONE STEALS OUR CHICKS...AND LIVES]

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Leaf, LORDMAN

Pros : He's a LORD and he has the titanium balls to fight impossible odds.

Cons : He's still a fresh-faced 15 year old.

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Fin, DEVOTIONMAN

Pros : Experience in wars, Hero Lance, promotes to DUKE Knight.

Cons : None!

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Othin, MULLETMAN

Pros : Axes, easy to piss off, love of Berwick Saga, mullet, I could go on.

Cons : Really?

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Halvan, AMBUSHMAN

Pros : He's basically Othin...

Cons : But just not as manly all around. Still, being so close to Othin all the time, he does radiates manliness.

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Weissman, the first boss of the game! Also the only non-recruitable boss that is actually unpromoted, but he does have 19 Defense on the gate.

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Look at all of them Soldiers and Archers. Mere red ants waiting to get crushed by Leaf and co.

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oh god this is heavy

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bullshit i have fin support and the wta is only 5%

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This dude is holding Othin's pops as a hostage!

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Trying to attack Othin's family is a quick way to taste his WRATH

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First capture!

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Not displayed : some loser is thrown off the horse by Fin. They just have to blink when I try to screen >_>

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On turn three, new people join the ranks!

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Dagda, EPIC BEARDMAN

Pros : LOOK AT THOSE BASES! AND THAT BEARD! He's not known as an all-father in the Irish myth for nothing either.

Cons : srsly?

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Marty, the MAN whom Dagda loved

Pros : Only the REAL MEN are worthy of being loved by Dagda

Cons : Where's the other half of his base stats?

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sorry girl, daddy's hunting for dinner now

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After an argument with the old man, KILLER HAND AXE

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MEDIC

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no

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NO

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PCC, FUCK YEAH

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Finally Fin's support does something.

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Not bad I guess.

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When no enemies are around, Marty's perfect to grab caught enemies off others and trade back the spoils of war.

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That's a suspiscious little white bag, woman.

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Yay I guess.

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You can't even hit base MARTY. You SUCK!

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I'm a big fan of bows on Dagda.

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It's funnier to eat robes than rings.

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Hero weapons are so inconsistant in this game. D rank really?

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Dagda is about to THWOMP Weissman!

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URGH

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SEIZE

Marty gets to keep a snuggle buddy too!

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[spoiler=CHAPTER TWO : PIRATES OF ITH]

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Bastards! That village surely had loot!

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Bucks, the buck toothed pirate leader.

Also sports that tough guy ponytail and possibly suffered from some form of brain damage when you consider that scar.

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While I'd curse my luck for this, it does influence the enemy AI into killing themselves on MULLETMAN.

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yeah sure halvan, i might consider the thunder sword if you keep this up

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I'll be seizing this. We don't want the pirates dealing more of those.

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Breaking your teeth on a ring makes you healthier. Somehow.

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Meanwhile, Dagda finds another dirty ring.

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Ronan, FISHERMAN

Pros : He moves further than most infantry I suppose.

Cons : Tanya is probably more of a man than he is. BENCHED!

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Dagda used ROCK POLISH!

Dagda's SPEED rose sharply!

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I guess that Build point is going to be useful when he'll want to chuck a javelin.

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PCC, some accuracy, less burden from heavy axes. I'm ok with that.

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When all the other axemen already double, why not give the HERO AXE to Marty so he can double on captures?

It's not like he's losing anything.

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But then this dude can have TWO CRITICALS on counters now.

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What accuracy issues.

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DAGDA ANGRY, DAGDA SMASH

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EPIC BEARD GROWTH

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Let's ambush the pirate HQ at night! They'll never see it coming!

>0 in almost everything

what kind of unit is that

marty believes size is everything

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Pretty funny, but when you're posting screenshots of levels, can you include in your commentary who exactly is leveling up? I'm not too familiar with FE5 so it's not always possible for me to infer from context.

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Pretty funny, but when you're posting screenshots of levels, can you include in your commentary who exactly is leveling up? I'm not too familiar with FE5 so it's not always possible for me to infer from context.

Sure. I'm aware no portraits show up, so you had to judge based on character bases.

[spoiler=CHAPTER TWO GAIDEN : THEY SEE ME SNEAKIN', THEY HATIN']

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Let's sneak into the pirate base!

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DAGDA SNEAK

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fuck

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"Precious booty ahead!"

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Fin CHOKES THE POINT to protect the ladies and Ronan from behind.

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oh god they have promoted generics already

i think he heard dagda's warcries and thought they were mating calls or something

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thank goodness this dude has butterfingers

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For once, Othin DOESN'T kill something.

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come on papa halvan's lap

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Steel weapons, a torch and a sweet level up in one go? That's a pretty sweet deal.

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FUCK YEAH HALVAN

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Leaf gets some meat on his bones.

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what

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WHAT

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I would bench you if I could.

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PUNY SWORDSMEN

BREAK YOURSELF ON MULLETMAN AND FEED HIS RAGE

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oh god

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PARRIED

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One does not block MULLETMAN's path and live to tell the story.

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Sure, it's a broken lance, but I don't think a splintered handle in the eye should be either this weak, this inaccurate or this heavy.

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There he is! Rivis the mighty, along with his personal guard.

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My capturing sense is tingling!

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ok so this dude had two warriors running around with steel weapons

but he guards the damn fort with a lockpick and a piece of paper with a sword on it

logic \o/

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Charge <3

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Dagda likes his men hearty and bulky.

For your information, yes, he grabbed Rivis' Hezul scroll.

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Sneaking is overrated.

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[spoiler=CHAPTER THREE : EPIC BEARDMAN, FRIEND OF ALL CHILDREN]

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Rivis, PANSYMAN

Pros : He doesn't have second thoughts about ill-acquired goods with his sneaky hands

Cons : Pretty much a pansy. That Hezul scroll he started with was probably manlier than him, but he's too useful to pass. For now.

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Robos, a boss confident enough to be stationnary and equipped with a bow. He does have 25 Defense, but a fatal weakness...

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pretty shitty stats for a level 10 bishop

but he will purify the fuck out of us with holy fire anyway

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Children? This close to a BISHOP!? CHARGE!

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Durability, accuracy, some damage and even some added Prayer proc.

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EPIC BEARDMAN is getting faster than GREASED LIGHTNING to protect the children.

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Halvan follows. Still doing alright.

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yo pass me that book you're reading

wait fuck i thought that was a porn mag

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EPIC BEARDMAN doesn't appreciate child molesting priests and delivers JUSTICE by raping them.

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There's nothing Halvan can't do.

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nice 4rko on that soldier, Leaf

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magic. magic? really marty?

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THWOMP

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reinforcements have arrived!

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Fin is starting to be a tough nut to crack.

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master lances \o/

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Thanks for the gift. Your neighbor could learn a thing or two.

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it's like hezul

but BLUE

and upwards

and yet nodion had all the incest

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Curse Short Lances for breaking so easily.

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Even dismounted, Fin is still a tank.

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Ever heard about offense?

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Shooting stars are probably worth a bit of dosh.

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An oversized can opener eh?

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After a blast of light, Dagda THWOMPS his way for a capture.

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Eat diamonds, become as hard as diamonds.

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Sure, let's bring a lot of shit.

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A LOT of shit.

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While Leaf and Rivis are going to be on the recieving end of prison rape, Robos gets to keep Marty company.

Edited by Dio
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/late update

Work takes most of my time and TORCHLIGHT 2 got released yesterday.

[spoiler=CHAPTER FOUR : PRISON BREAK]

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Coed cell? Freeing my country can wait!

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"see guys, if you leave my ass alone, i can lead you out of there to get actual women!"

"uh sure thing boss man"

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Fergus, BASTARDMAN

Pros : He's the BASTARD son of Beowulf, who was one hell of a man.

Cons : Not much in particular.

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Brighton, REBELMAN

Pros : Fighting for noble causes is pretty manly. Even has a bit of Othin in him with a mullet and WRATH.

Cons : Nope.

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I may not be sneaky, but I'm ANGRY.

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This is the only action you'll see done by a female this run.

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Sure, all the defense I can get.

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If I get you out of there, will you make me vice Prince?

What do you mean, no?

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SLIM SWORD ORKO

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Ugh...I was told...there would be... booty...

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nice MISS to avenge your fallen comrade, bro

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That's one side taken care of.

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a weapon fit for a king, or me!

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woah there, let me hold this bag for you

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AAH my kidney!

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I smell déjà vu.

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It doesn't show well, but that was a SOLDIER CRIT.

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i get hezul and baldo on him and he gets no strength

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complaints? what complaints?

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screw this, booty isn't worth dying for

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Build would be nice to have when you're too scrawny to use most axes at base.

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iron swords and bows \o/

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oh god my other kidney make it stop

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Resistance might come in handy.

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ok bitches, get at me

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Score!

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Soldiers are finally learning their lessons : don't fuck with armed rebels.

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ok east side covered, let's get out of here

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He might as well be called Fin with axes.

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this looks familiar...

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That RNG isn't so random anymore I think.

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Rivis being GENTLEMANLY

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Alright just a few more meters and...

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FUCK

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Dalsin, ARMORMAN

Pros : He's basically Marty.

Cons : But he needs armor to do it, and he's not loved by Dagda.

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SEIZURE BLADE FULL POWER

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come here sweetheart

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yeah thief acting as front blockade woo

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Patching Fergus' one weak area : early durability.

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brighton does not give a fuck anymore

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Let's agro the Armors towards Leaf...

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i'll save you prince

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HA you SUCK

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the PAIN

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long range would've been great A FEW TURNS AGO, fergus

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oh hey that looks like a normal level

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yeah he's definitely growing out a new pair of legs by now

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Fergus too?

Actually no, but I think in other other two cases I roll a 2 or a 3.

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so long and thanks for the free boots

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Well this looks...concerning.

too bad i'm not around anymore to deal with it

Edited by Dio
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Work takes most of my time and TORCHLIGHT 2 got released yesterday.

and you have an unnamed writer for a newspaper in Colorado to thank for that

EDIT: wait did somebody roll MOV like three times?

Edited by Mr. Sparkles
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I dare say this is even funier than Esme's Hector GRIMFACE and ladies run of FE7. Please don't hurt me

O-Okay...

////////////////////////wrists

DUDE

THIS RUN IS SO RAPETASTIC

I LOEV IT

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EDIT: wait did somebody roll MOV like three times?

yeah in a row

I was aware level ups (as in, the RNs used in a same level up) could repeat themselves within the same chapter (perhaps even in the entire game, but I don't have enough knowledge of the game mechanics for that). Having it do it with a Movement level up is pretty grand if you're aiming for LTC, though this isn't quite the case with this run.

Edited by Dio
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[spoiler=CHAPTER FOUR GAIDEN : SOMEONE FINALLY THOUGHT OF THE CHILDREN]

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MANBARRIER to protect the females

and Rivis.

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Dalsin is starting strong.

Too bad Hammers are going to be a pain in the ass for him no matter what.

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Normally I'd say that Brighton has other stats to raise, but those four are all great in my book.

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quoting the great sage grandjackal when i say that rivis is great at defanging mages

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so today i researched the etymology of fergus and noticed it meant MAN STRENGTH or VIRILITY in IRISH, SCOTTISH and MANX

he really lives up to the name, because he's really hulking out

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what the hell man, this is fe5

instead of fleeing, the mages should just trade their last remaining tome and attack the same dude with it

i guess they can only trade vulneraries, but they have to buy their damn weapons

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See kids, punks with questionable fashion sense are a better role model than your neighborhood priest. Especially if he plans to burn you.

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Asvel, WINDSHOTA

Pros : Magic, especially Graphcalibur. Easy to promote early.

Cons : He's basically Leaf's age, but since he's not required, BENCH. Even with 3 PCC, personnal weapon, early D staves, 7 move on promotion, somewhat easy access to A thunder, etc.

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it's a piece of paper with some blue dinosaur footprint on it

must be a velociraptor, because it makes you fast and bright, but it sure as hell doesn't help in taking hits

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Sety, AIRMAN

Look at that smug motherfucker and his indestructible tome one last time, because you won't see him again for a long time.

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Or maybe ever in this run.

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Surely it can't be a trap.

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Fuck.

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demonic strength comes with a great price

accuracy

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but i'll admit that green axe looks damn sexy

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Dammit why didn't I give him the Sety scroll.

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Durability \o/

Also Killer Swords and Elfire tomes.

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Dude, she was unarmed.

Now someone is going to have to clean up this mess.

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Was he even able to lift it off the chest?

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Something's written on the hilt.

"To Ayra, with love -Lex"

"HEADS FOR GLORIOUS CRITS -Sigurd"

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I already know who's getting this Health Ring, but he's won't appear for quite some time.

For those feeling lucky, I take guesses.

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Fergus is making a Gilgamesh out of himself.

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What is it with Manster and pyromaniac Bishops?

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I may not get a staff user for a long while, but I will seize this dude's inventory.

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Durability is always good for Fergus.

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dalsin can double half of the enemies in this game now \o/

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Buttbuddies sure slow a man down.

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Time to let Sety have fun with the rest of the reinforcements. He does need 7 levels worth of them until Chapter 23.

Edited by Dio
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