GIRTHBOUND

[Esme]

DA LOVE BOAT is the only option!

You turn your broom in the direction of the LOVE BOAT. There's a bunch of really babetastic people partying and having a good time. Oh, look! They're serving apple martinis! Oh, you HAVE to get one!

You land on the ship and hop off your broom. The people don't seem to notice you just flying onto the ship out of nowhere, so you're safe for now. Time to get some apple martinis!

You grab a martini from the:

1. Petite waitress in the bunny outfit.

2. Tall waiter with an awesome beard.

[Terrador]

1. Petite waitress in the bunny outfit

[Esme]

1. Petite waitress in the bunny outfit

"Oh, hi there, Cutie! You havin' a nice time on the LOVE BOAT? Ha ha, I'm sure you are. Here, take an apple martini. They're the best in the city."

The cute lady hands you a martini and winks at you. You're utterly smitten. She twirls the end of her hair and decides to chat with you.

"I'm on my break so it's alright if I talk to the passengers. Plus, my boss is totally carefree. I mean, it's the LOVE BOAT so who cares, right? We're having fun!" She giggles.

"So... what's your name, Cutie?"

1. "Just call me Cutie, Darling."

2. Jennifer Lawrence.

3. Loki Thornisson.

4. Austin Powers.

5. Joanna Newsom.

6. Ash Ketchum.

[Shin]

Austin Powers, yeah, baby, yeah!

[Raven]

Damn it, Shin.

[Esme]

Austin Powers, yeah, baby, yeah!

"A-Austin Powers? Like that guy in the movies? Dude, that's so awesome! I bet you have tons of people following you on Twatter and Facescrap."

1. "I have no idea what those are."

2. "Yeah, I have tons of people following me. In fact, I get messages just about every minute."

3. "YEAH, BABY, YEAH!"

Edited February 15, 2013 by Esme

[Momentai~]

3

[Shin]

YEAH, BABY, YEAH!

[Esme]

3

YEAH, BABY, YEAH!

"Ha ha! Wow, you're funny. Funnier than most of the guys on this boat. Actually, a lot of them are kinda gross. Like, not hygiene-gross but shallow personality-gross. But you! You're way different. Hey, I'm glad I met you, and I'd love to chat more, but my break's over. See you later."

The cute girl in the bunny suit grabs your hands, gives them a light kiss, and pulls something from her pocket. "It's a little something to remember me by." The cute girl in the bunny suit leaves. In your hands she has left a pendant with a rabbit's foot on it. That means luck! Wow, you're smooth, Austin Powers.

Now that she's gone you take a look around. There's a group of babes chatting it up on a huge couch by the pool, two guys playing in the pool, and a green girl with glasses who resembles a fairy. There's also a Snack Hut and a Gift Shop.

1. Talk to the ladies.

2. Talk to the guys in the pool.

3. Talk to the green girl.

4. Visit the Snack Hut.

5. Visit the Gift Shop.

[charlie_]

3!

[Esme]

3!

You put on your rabbit's foot pendant and talk to the green girl. She seems vaguely familiar, but you don't dwell on that thought for too long.

The green girl is awfully shy, moving away and hiding her face as you approach her. She notices you looming over her and looks up at you.

1. "Are you alright?"

2. "You're a pretty fairykin. What're you doing on a cheesy boat like this?"

3. Stare blankly into her eyes.

4. Give her the pendant.

5. "SHAG ME, BABY!"

[Shin]

NUMBER 5 IS THE ONLY OPTION.

[Shinori]

5.

[Esme]

5.

You shout the famous Austin Powers catchphrase: "Shag me, baby!"

The green girl is startled and runs into the Gift Shop. Everyone stares at you thinking, "Wow, that dude's a freak.". They're all whispering to each other as well. You subsequently faint of embarrassment. Way to go, Austin Powers!

Several days later, you wake up in a white room with white tiles. There are white curtains which are lightly swaying in the breeze through a window beside where you lay, a heart monitor atop a bunch of doohickeys, a small rolling table full of syringes and cotton balls, and another rolling table with a small bouquet on it. Judging from your surroundings and from the finger device which you're wearing, you seem to be in a hospital.

1. Examine the bouquet.

2. Mess with the doohickeys

3. Grab a syringe.

4. Chew on the cotton balls.

5. Go back to sleep.

[charlie_]

2

[Esme]

2

The flashing lights and consecutive beeps and boops mesmerize you. You start pushing buttons and turning switches, they make you feel funny but the lights and beeps are quite entertaining. You press a particularly ominous black button and suddenly the beeps get louder and louder.

"Beep."

"BEEP.

"BEEP BEEP!"

"BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!"

A nurse rushes into the room and slaps your hand. "Sir, are you TRYING to kill yourself? My god, what kind of person plays with such DOCTORAL TECHNOLOGY." She says furiously. "If I had a mind to I'd let you die here and now for your stupidity, but what would homicide look like on my resume? "Not good" is what it would like." She turns various knobs and switches. That funny feeling you had begins to dissipate and you feel quite normal. "If you're THAT bored then you can read this letter. It was in that awfully nice bouquet from the bunny-suit girl. I'm surprised she sent one to you-- she's quite famous around here, you know. Honestly, she probably felt sorry for your ass and decided to get you the bundle of flowers. Hmph." The nurse cleans around the room and then proceeds to exit the room.

You open up the scarlet-colored envelope. It says:

"Yea, woman, thou sayest truly!" cried old Roger Chillingworth, letting the lurid fire of his heart blaze out before her eyes. "Better had he died at once! Never did mortal suffer what this man has suffered."

"What? That's kinda random. This must be for someone else..." you think, but on the bottom of the card is your name and the words, "Love, Your Friend in the Bunny Suit. xoxo"

1. Weep.

2. Sigh contentedly.

3. Burn the letter.

4. Sniff the bouquet.

5. Remove the finger-device and leave the hospital.

[Freohr Datia]

Ooooh smell the lovely flowers~

[Esme]

Ooooh smell the lovely flowers~

You sit up and pick up the bouquet. You stuff your nose in it and take in the rich scents of lavender, lily, and mint leaves. Ahh, so refreshing!

You hear someones footsteps in your room. You take your nose away from the bouquet and look up. Oh my! It's the bunny girl! Apparently she's quite the fashionista. I mean, damn, look at those boots! Look at that top! Sweet jesus.

"You took a big spill yesterday, Austin. I'm surprised you're awake now. I mean, from what I was told you fainted after talking to that green girl. Ugh, I always knew she was creepy. I guess that creepiness made ya faint, huh? Ha ha! Sigh... so, uh, you wanna go out in the town? It seems pretty boring in this place. So much white... not enough color, I'd say."

1. "Yeah, let's go to the Grand Mall of the King's Holiness and Glory."

2. "Yeah, let's go to that fancy restaurant on 5th Street."

3. "Yeah, let's go to the Intergalactic Zoo."

4. "Yeah, let's hit the Nightclubs!"

5. "Eh... my head is kinda swollen, I dunno if I can go out today."

[Darros]

4. NIGHTCLUBS AHOY

[Esme]

4. NIGHTCLUBS AHOY

"Damn, you're feisty. I like that."

She looks at you, observing you.

"But... you can't go out looking like that. Here, pick out an outfit and we'll meet up at THE NIGHTCLUB later tonight." She hands you a neat hi-tech watch. You press the "continue" button and a menu pops up in a hologram. There's a bunch of different outfits that seem really good. But which one is the best? Which one will leave a good impression? Choose carefully.

1. The snazzy tuxedo. Black, sexy, and completely timeless.

2. The hip streetwear with the stylish hoodie and hi-tops.

3. The flip-flops, pop-collared shirt, and the khakis. Primetime douche-wear.

4. Leather everything and calf-height boots. Kinky.

5. The wooly turtleneck with the nice slacks and brown shoes. Nerdy and uptight, but they make you look considerably more intelligent.

6. The sparkly glittery one-piece with a specially insulated crotch.

7. The nice coat with a simple shirt-&-jeans combo. Nothing special, but nothing to scoff at.

8. Baggy jeans with stupidly huge sneakers and a Ninja Turtles t-shirt. Childish, but who knows? Ninja turtles might be all the rage this day and age.

[Darros]

8. TMNT YES

[Freohr Datia]

Intergalactic Zoo sounded pretty interesting ;n;

[Esme]

8. TMNT YES

You press your finger on the TMNT outfit. The bunny girl looks at you excitedly. "Wow, how'd you know that TMNT was all the rage nowadays? Ha, everyone at the nightclub is gonna love you. Alright, so, meet me at THE NIGHTCLUB at 8 P.M. sharp. Don't be late~"

She twirls out of the room and leaves you with your heart a-flutter. Honestly, you look totally dorky in your outfit but apparently that's cool nowadays.

You notice a light beeping noise coming from the watch. It says "Message notification: 1"

1. Read the message.

2. Ignore it.

[Jack of the Dead]

read the damn message

Edited February 15, 2013 by Father Anderson

[Esme]

read the damn message

You decide to read the message. Who wouldn't?

The message reads: "Oh, by the way, I've rented a nice loft for you in the eastern side of the city. Just follow these directions and you'll get to the Chrome Building (the building where the loft is located) in no time. Remember, the Loft Number is 999. Tell the lady at the front desk the number and then tell her I sent you. She'll gladly give you the key. Can't wait to see you~"

Goodness! She's being awfully nice to you.

You take a quick look at the directions.

...

They're exceedingly complicated and you have no idea how to decipher all the symbols. Times really have changed. Fortunately for you, you can just hop on your magical broomstick and fly over the city. Spotting the building should be easy, right?

You peer into the city from hundreds of feet in the air trying to spot the Chrome Building. However, you have no idea which part of the city you should start looking in. Where do you look first?

1. East side.

2. West side.

3. South side.

4. North side.

5. Look behind you.

Edited February 15, 2013 by Esme