Do You Believe in the Phrase "Real Men Don't Cry"?

[Randoman]

Do you believe in the phrase "Real Men Don't Cry"? And even if you're a male and don't completely believe in it, do you still try to hold back crying whenever possible? I mean, with most people, it's perfectly acceptable for women to cry. Men, not so much.

I personally always try to hold back on the tears whenever possible. I feel so much weaker when I let myself cry (in others eyes and in my own), so I avoid it like the plague.

[Topaz Light]

Nah, I don't believe in that phrase.

besides, "Real men don't cry for themselves; they cry for their friends" is a better one

I usually don't cry just because that's not really how I express the emotions that usually lead to it, but I don't really have a problem with other dudes crying if that's how they express their particular emotions.

I'm just generally anti-emotional-repression, so...

[Sunwoo]

Not at all.

It's insulting to both men and women. It insinuates that only a certain type of man is a "real" man, that emotions are weak. They're not. It also insinuates that if crying is unmanly, then it's "womanly" and that women are weak.

I can understand not wanting to cry about every little thing, and there is such thing as crying too much. But in itself it's not weak and shows that you are human.

[Nanami Touko]

Crying is pretty neat.

[Dwalin2010]

I absolutely disagree with this phrase. I am a very emotional person. Not that I cry every day for every little thing, but sometimes it's better to cry then just wait for months for the end of the depression.

[Rehab]

No, and I find both the family of stereotypes from which it hails and that one in particular repugnant.

Oops you performed a totally normal bodily function over which you may have little control, looks like you'll have to turn in your sex organs at the front desk

[Bluedoom]

Do you believe in the phrase "Real Men Don't Cry"? And even if you're a male and don't completely believe in it, do you still try to hold back crying whenever possible? I mean, with most people, it's perfectly acceptable for women to cry. Men, not so much.

I personally always try to hold back on the tears whenever possible. I feel so much weaker when I let myself cry (in others eyes and in my own), so I avoid it like the plague.

Bold's my answer.

Inhibiting emotions without a good reason is stupid. I don't see how crying is womanly though, honestly. I mean, men have lacrimal glands too, which produce tears, they HAVE A FUNCTION NOW!

I still find it hard to cry regardless, which is a drastic change from my crybaby self years ago.

[Renne]

I'm not a man, but I don't think there's anything wrong with men crying. It doesn't make you any less of a man to cry. And I would hate it if anyone said I'm weak for crying, cause I can end up crying a lot for a lot of reasons... not because I'm weak or a woman or anything like that.

So no, that phrase of 'real men don't cry' is pretty much nonsense for me. I think it's called being human to cry anyway. For either gender.

[shadowofchaos]

"Real Men cry to Clannad After Story."

"Maiden at heart."

Etc.

All my excuses.

I don't care about that expectation in society.

Edited May 5, 2013 by shadowofchaos

[Konnor97]

I don't, mainly because everybody (I'm assuming, but there might be some very rare exceptions) is going to cry at some point in their life. I still try not to cry, but that's mainly because I want to stay strong for other people, and almost be like an anchor of sorts. That, and I just don't really feel sad enough to cry about things, even if they are really sad and whatnot.

Edit: Oh goodness, I just misused a there. Twice.

Edited May 5, 2013 by Konnor97

[Kay]

Men shouldn't feel ashamed of crying about stuff that's worth crying over. Not that I really think there's anything wrong with crying over little things either. Also, I don't think gender has that much to do with it.

[Zanarkin]

I don't believe in the phrase, but i also don't like to cry in front of others (barring pain that i can't really tolerate very well but that rarely happens) mostly because it just seems a bit too dramatic if its over little things. I don't think anyone would blame you for crying about the loss of someone you care about or other traumas like that. I cry at sad moments in video games/movies/cartoons/etc though, but that's mostly when I'm alone; when I'm in the company of other humans i try to restrain it partly because i do not want to get mocked.

[Phoenix Wright]

I usually never cry, but I do try to hold back when I know I'm about to--I don't like crying. The phrase is dumb.

[Nostalgia]

It depends on the context. For instance, don't cry just because your sports team got eliminated.

But yeah, there's nothing wrong with crying, it's a normal human reaction and shows empathy. Manly tears are, well, manly.

Edited May 6, 2013 by Nostalgia

[Randoman]

Wow, everyone so far doesn't believe in that phrase.

I wouldn't hold it against a man if they were crying over a loved one's death or tragedy (or their own tragedy if it's bad enough, like finding out they have cancer). Though even if someone close to me died, I'd still likely try to hold back my tears, and keep it to silent sobbing if I couldn't hold back the tears.

[mewyeon]

Men shouldn't feel ashamed of crying about stuff that's worth crying over.

Yuh. Although even as a girl I don't think I cry that much, I just get really depressed and quiet. BUT I do cry for dumb stuff sometimes, and even while I'm crying I'm like 'wait why am I crying'.

[Thor Odinson]

Not at all.

It's insulting to both men and women. It insinuates that only a certain type of man is a "real" man, that emotions are weak. They're not. It also insinuates that if crying is unmanly, then it's "womanly" and that women are weak.

I can understand not wanting to cry about every little thing, and there is such thing as crying too much. But in itself it's not weak and shows that you are human.

This is pretty much my sentiments as well.

[deleted35362]

I find that crying indicates love and conflict. I haven't cried much in this lifetime, but when I do I learn from it. I think "are these feelings beneficial?". I evaluate the subject of my love, and decide whether or not to continue to bear this love or to dispose of it or lessen it.

Babies cry, because they "love" to feel well. Kinda. As people grow older, it becomes harder to cry in a way. We gain an understanding of the world, and subjects of our love become more trivial. A baby cares more about perpetual companionship than an adult, so it may cry when separated from its mother, but an adult is a bit too preoccupied and/developed to consider doing so.

...Okay, so it's hard to explain, and I did a bad job. I'm not a philosopher, okay?

The more a person generally cries, the lesser their control over their own emotions are. Power is associated with control over your emotions, because lack of control over your emotions can hold you back from exerting full force or maintaining control of your own actions. Obviously, control over your own emotions is a sign of maturity, which is a quality that men and women both share. Men are just more incentivised to conceal their emotions in society.

Whoever associates masculinity with power believes in the phrase "Real men don't cry". I don't cry because I don't feel any sort of love for any living being on the planet. However, I don't consider myself to be a "real man", nor do I care to. I uh...hope this post gets someone's mind brewing?

[BluBlaDe]

Crying alone is okay only when people you loved or your pets died. Crying in front of others is simply showing a weakness that will be exploited against you later. It's okay to cry when you are a kid and naive but as an adult I can't think of a good reason to cry. A man that cries is too easily affected by his emotions.

You got to keep your emotions in check or else you will end up making mistakes.

''Real men'' can means a lot of things. A real man is someone that does his own things and simply does not care about what other people thinks of him. Thus a real man can cry if he wants to but why would he wants to cry in front of others people ?

[Rehab]

Concerning the couple of cases where I've witnessed it happen, I don't particularly enjoy the idea of holding my friends' having cried in front of me over their heads. My knee-jerk reaction on an emotional level is usually to want to help them, though I tend to be kind of bad at figuring out how, especially on the spot.

If anything, I myself fear opening up in front of others in a way analogous to crying because I'm afraid I'd be imposing on them, asking for help I can't expect them to be able to provide, and/or that I haven't earned said help by being a good enough friend to them in the first place.

[BluBlaDe]

For me it's kinda abnormal. A man being emotional is weird. It's weak. I could understand if it's something really serious but why would someone cry in front of me? What would that person expect from me ? I don't know how I would respond to that. Same as you Rehab... Dunno how to react to someone crying in fromt of me, especially a man.

It's more awkward than anything else for me.

The problem with showing your weak side to people is that whenever they'll see you later they will always remember that time where you were weak in front of them and they will always remember it.

[Sunwoo]

It is attitude like yours that makes me hate society very much.

[Ciarre]

If men aren't afraid to cry or show emotion, it makes me respect them more because it shows so much more than trying to suppress them. Everyone has vulnerabilities, of course, but men who aren't afraid to show it are pretty courageous, in my opinion.

Edited May 10, 2013 by CR-S01

[Dwalin2010]

The problem with showing your weak side to people is that whenever they'll see you later they will always remember that time where you were weak in front of them and they will always remember it.

If a person has a permanent negative impression about somebody just because of seeing them crying, it's not much of a person.

[Mighty Kamina]

I'd say it's ok for men to cry, I mean it's part of being human. Granted I don't ever cry or find myself holding back tears for anything really, but I'm kinda wierd like that so... (I was the only one who didn't cry at my Grandmother's funeral)

When my friends cry in front of me regardless of gender my first reaction is to try and comfort them and afterwards I usually feel like I have gotten closer to that person.

Edited May 10, 2013 by Zelos