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I feel like garbage right now.


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I don't think being good at socializing would help that. Even between people of japanese ancestry few know the japanese language. Here in my country there are tons of people of japanese ancestry and i only know one who speaks it, because her mother is japanese and lives in japan.

That's mainly what I mean. I need people that are fluent in Japanese or speak it at least to be able to gain good listening comprehension skills. I'm a firm believer in the need for a teacher to learn a language, I don't think you can properly get ahold of a new tongue without a person that speaks it, despite all the resources that exist today to assist.

I would Skype with pretty Japanese girls all the time if I knew a lick of Japanese.

Did you not consider that Esau

Yeah. I do have a few on a Skype account. I usually meet them on sites like lang-8.

Again though, my socializing skills are pretty awful. I'm not so bad that I can't move through an average "So, how's the weather, what are your hobbies" etc. conversation in a one-on-one scenario, but I'm bad at holding any attention or intrigue because my personality is utterly transparent and diminutive. I don't know how to make that not sound stupidly over-complex, but basically in a group conversation beyond more than three people I don't know it's pathetically easy for me to become the mute that just watches everyone else talk, without anyone noticing either. It's why I have always, always hated parties. There was a graduation get-together we had for the Japanese community after our courses were finished, and outside of the one or two people that attended that were from my course I knew virtually no one.

If I see one person calling me to talk then I'm usually alright with it, but when I see "Tomoko, Lily, Michael, etc." calling I instantly have DANGER WILL ROBINSON mode blare in my head.

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