Just an idea - Malevolent Ambitions

[Day Breaker]

Hi there! My name is Day Breaker, and i'm pretty new to this forum (though I've been following it for some time). And over the past few years, I had so many ideas that has been going on in my head. And this one that I've thought of just made me consider this to be a possible hack. Although I have no hacking experience, I just want to throw my idea out there. So here we go.

P.S : I've received some feedback from a few users that some of my decisions seem weird. And I've thought about it, and that maybe I should refurbish it. So here I go, again.

Palavos (Pal- Ah - Vos), a continent of Greandos (Gree-On-Dos).

8 countries in all:

Alavria , the Grand Elysium (Ala-vree-a)

Valoria , the Home of Champions (Val-lore-ria)

Rodwall , the Freelance Dunes (Rod- Wall)

Walliz , the Magick Realm (Wall-lease)

Dajan , the Land of Dynasties (Dodge-jon)

Zaune , the Steel Fortress (Zo-Ne)

Eithedus , the Futuristic World (Eat-Tho-Dus)

Lione , the Beast's Empire (Lee-Own)

Freyydor , the Frozen Abyss (Frey- door)

The continent of Palavos was scarred by a tragic past. After the War of the Knorj , the whole continent was shattered ; buildings , homes , countries, lives - destroyed. However the remains of humanity fought through hard times, and rebuilt the continent slowly. After centuries, the continent was restored to its' former self, however the people didn't forget. There was much discrimination between all the countries, even between the members of the High Council. (The High Council is a group of representatives of each country).

One day, at night, the country of Alavria was attacked, by an unknown group of assassins and dark mages. How they got access into Alavria was a mystery, as Alavria's defenses are second to Zaune. The king and queen was brutally murdered, and the once beautiful Elysium was destroyed. Only a few soldiers , General Liandra, and Prince Skye survived. They fled Alavria, before the assassins could get them. However, as they were about to leave the border, General Liandra commanded them to surrender. She betrayed them. She told them "Once I showed up, my plan wasn't to serve Alavria, I wanted to put you Alavrians to place, you dumb, innocent do-gooders. But you guys aren't half that bad as what they say.Still, it's my mission. Surrender yourselves. "

The group of assassins and dark mages worked together:

The Assassins are men and women that assassinate for gold and sometimes pleasure. They are known as the Dark Moons, made up of famed warriors .

The dark mages are led by The Wretched Witch, Renee. The group is called The Orphans, made up of child mages and warriors who have lost family .

And the story goes on ~ ( I'm going to try to write a short story for this have it up in some time, so that this paragraph makes a little bit more sense.)

Characters (Important):

Skye: Prince

Penny: Peg, Knight

Janvier: Great Knight

Fevrier: Paladin

Kassandra: Princess

Andrew: Elemental Knight

Some changes I've thought of:

*Mages on horses - Elemental Knight (Elemental) , Luminous Knight (Light) , and Dusk Knight (dark)

+ The mounted and on-foot mages will have differences of stats, some more stronger in some attributes, while the other has more than what the other class has .

*Renaming some classes, not a huge deal.

*A rare class will be availible, Samurai, will be a tad slower than Swordfighters, however having a little more strength.

+ When Samurais promote, then promote into Vegabond, taking the skill Silencer, and being able to use bows .

*Sentry and Guard classes will be added ( like Agro's "Eternal Bond").

*Zombies will be added! ( Yay to the undead! >:D)

Leave your questions and comments below in this topic! I would like some feedback and how I could improve more on my story !

Edited September 25, 2013 by Day Breaker

[Agro]

*Sentry and Guardian classes will be added ( like Agro's "Eternal Bond").

Not like it really matters but the class name is actually "Guard".

Most of these changes seem mostly nominal, though. It doesn't sound like you're really doing much to add to gameplay. Adding so many mages who are able to use lots of different types of spell kind of defeats the purpose of the magic triangle, too.

*Planning to add Longbowman, that can only use Longbows. When Longbowman evolve, they evolve to Nomad Troopers, using swords and longbows.

*Archers can only use Bows, not Longbows. When archers evolve, they evolve into Rangers, which can use lances and bows(not longbows).

From the perspective of being realistic this actually makes very little sense. If anything, it should be the other way around--using a longbow on a horse is nearly impossible and the Mongolian nomads actually used to make their bows very short specifically so that it could be used on a horse.

*Few classes will be able to have 2 skills.

Just so you know, skills aren't really possible with hacking outside of the ones that already exist in FE8.

As for your setting, all of the countries seem very one-dimensional. While it's okay to have a country that specialises in one thing, don't forget that if these countries are in close proximity to each other with little geography in the way (walls, mountains, water) it's very likely that cultures would mix and you wouldn't get the whole "X country is super-realistic while Y country next door is stuck in the past"--since the countries probably trade on a regular basis and there would be lots of emigrants/immigrants, resulting in lots of mixing in the two peoples and cultures. Again, this is just realist nitpicking, but you don't really want a setting that is so black and white.

Your country names also seem quite difficult to pronounce. Remember that your target audience is probably English-speaking so if anything is difficult to pronounce, it will sound foreign and exotic--is that your intention? Or do you want the countries to sound familiar?

Also, just one last thing: if Alavria is a floating continent (I assume that's what you mean by "floating elysium"), how in the world did the other countries manage to mount an attack on it? Presumably there are limited entrances and if you're attacking a floating landmass, you can't exactly have soldiers march straight onto it. Do the other countries have strong pegasus/wyvern forces, then?

[Lord of Gabriel Knight]

(This may seem like a Sacred Stones beginning, but not really. )

Sounds like every Fire Emblem game I've ever played. Also, I find it highly unlikely that every country was an official ally with each other.

[Day Breaker]

Not like it really matters but the class name is actually "Guard".

Most of these changes seem mostly nominal, though. It doesn't sound like you're really doing much to add to gameplay. Adding so many mages who are able to use lots of different types of spell kind of defeats the purpose of the magic triangle, too.

From the perspective of being realistic this actually makes very little sense. If anything, it should be the other way around--using a longbow on a horse is nearly impossible and the Mongolian nomads actually used to make their bows very short specifically so that it could be used on a horse.

Just so you know, skills aren't really possible with hacking outside of the ones that already exist in FE8.

As for your setting, all of the countries seem very one-dimensional. While it's okay to have a country that specialises in one thing, don't forget that if these countries are in close proximity to each other with little geography in the way (walls, mountains, water) it's very likely that cultures would mix and you wouldn't get the whole "X country is super-realistic while Y country next door is stuck in the past"--since the countries probably trade on a regular basis and there would be lots of emigrants/immigrants, resulting in lots of mixing in the two peoples and cultures. Again, this is just realist nitpicking, but you don't really want a setting that is so black and white.

Your country names also seem quite difficult to pronounce. Remember that your target audience is probably English-speaking so if anything is difficult to pronounce, it will sound foreign and exotic--is that your intention? Or do you want the countries to sound familiar?

Also, just one last thing: if Alavria is a floating continent (I assume that's what you mean by "floating elysium"), how in the world did the other countries manage to mount an attack on it? Presumably there are limited entrances and if you're attacking a floating landmass, you can't exactly have soldiers march straight onto it. Do the other countries have strong pegasus/wyvern forces, then?

Thanks for the feedback, and yeah I agree with you on everything you said. My idea didn't make much sense. I kind of changed it, hope it actually makes a difference. You could read the new one if you want.

[Day Breaker]

Sounds like every Fire Emblem game I've ever played. Also, I find it highly unlikely that every country was an official ally with each other.

Yeah it does :/ I'll try to change it a bit more, kinda add more "oh I hate you" and all that good stuff.

[Siegmund]

Sounds interesting. Have you actually hacked anything, or plan on hacking? Because if its just an idea as the topic title says, then this should probably be in the creative sub-forum.

[Day Breaker]

Sounds interesting. Have you actually hacked anything, or plan on hacking? Because if its just an idea as the topic title says, then this should probably be in the creative sub-forum.

No I have not, I'm trying to learn, but it's so confusing to me :( A lot of people tell me to go to Archsage's tutorials but it doesn't really help me.

[Siegmund]

I find that FEXP is a lot easier to use

[Day Breaker]

I find that FEXP is a lot easier to use

I never considered it, but I might look into it. Have you hacked anything before?

[Siegmund]

I never considered it, but I might look into it. Have you hacked anything before?

Small things, nothing major. Either way takes practice, but FEXP is a little more user friendly.

[Day Breaker]

Small things, nothing major. Either way takes practice, but FEXP is a little more user friendly.

Oh okay, and sure I'll read up on it

[cyron]

Some changes I've thought of:

*Mages on horses - Elemental Knight (Elemental) , Luminous Knight (Light) , and Dusk Knight (dark)

+ The mounted and on-foot mages will have differences of stats, some more stronger in some attributes, while the other has more than what the other class has .

*Renaming some classes, not a huge deal.

*A rare class will be availible, Samurai, will be a tad slower than Swordfighters, however having a little more strength.

+ When Samurais promote, then promote into Vegabond, taking the skill Silencer, and being able to use bows .

*Sentry and Guard classes will be added ( like Agro's "Eternal Bond").

*Zombies will be added! ( Yay to the undead! >:D)

Leave your questions and comments below in this topic! I would like some feedback and how I could improve more on my story !

So samurai is basically a mercenary that promotes to have bows

also in addition to what agro said having longbowmen promote to nomads is unrealistic, the other issue is that having you mounted archer have access to long bows but not your foot archer is rather unbalanced and it would make more sense the other way around also, will you be making use of the branching promotions and or editing them?

[Day Breaker]

So samurai is basically a mercenary that promotes to have bows

also in addition to what agro said having longbowmen promote to nomads is unrealistic, the other issue is that having you mounted archer have access to long bows but not your foot archer is rather unbalanced and it would make more sense the other way around also, will you be making use of the branching promotions and or editing them?

Kin of, they are more speedy, yet more fragile.

And I took his feedback, and just erased the whole longbow idea.