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Hello, Hi, Hey: I'm $$$ richh


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Ooooh, thanks! So like, I'm guessing the character is an OC then?

Yep! They used this character for RPing for a couple years now I love her design ahhhh

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Ugh, I'm having my moodswings again.

It's why I don't like to be bored or without a game to play/work to do for a long time, I start thinking.

And when I start thinking, my logical mindset about life kicks in

(it has nothing to do with SF really tho)

[spoiler=If anyone wants to listen to me vent my sappy thoughts]

and said mindset hits me like a fucking high speed train because I start becoming really depressive.

Everything is just so boring, empty. I feel like life is useless yet I have to keep pushing on just to die old and for what?

I'm a callous, self-centered guy who puts logic forward way more often than feelings, I doubt I'll ever get married, or atleast to someone I also like, or have children. Even if I find work, what then? Work, come home and play videogames and once every so often cosplay?

I'm so egocentric that I'm too stubborn to change my lifestyle yet I only feel depressed because of it.

I just constantly feel needlessly attacked by the world around me and yet despite my mind rejecting it, I want more. As if I want some sort of spice that can change the way I percieve things or live my life forever, but can't find one.

I feel like there's a giant hole in my chest, and nothing seems to fit in place.

Then all spirals down into self-loathing. I let my emotions get the better of me and start despising myself for it. And from my egocentric view, this self-loathing turns into some sort of hatred, some sort of jealousy that I feel towards everything and everyone. This then turns into guilt. Guilt for the many times I feel like I let people down.

Sigh

Well I suppose I got that out of my system... Sort of.

Eh, I suppose I'll hopefully be back to normal in a few hours.

hm

I need input for next avi

D

Edited by Yuki
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venting is the first step of feeling better

but it sounds like you have a set on feeling better

hope you get better, man

Yo

name change

Edited by Shockmaster
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