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Hello, Hi, Hey: I'm $$$ richh


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So I stroll into my local game stop looking to buy a copy of SMT Apocalypse. I grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register. I say "pardon me, milady.... But could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number, or I'd ring you up instead..." She giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves.
Her eyes widen as she reads the games title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!". I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings from behind. "Hahaha look at what this faggot is buying! That's not Call of Duty! What a piece of shit!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of this rude outburst.
Standing before me is generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "The guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt just standing over the guffawing.
"Excuse me sir... you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"Fuck you faggot!" The man replied.
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react, he bellows and charges forwards. I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter. I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back.
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers. "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place and play that game sometime... ?" the cashier asked me.
"No thanks milady, It's single player only. Besides..." I sheath my sword.
"You're not my type"
I skate away on my Heelys into the sunset.

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How similar, except various different factors.

What kind of club?

Its a night club nearby that just happens to be free admission. Which is prolly why it sucks, tbh.

how disappointed?

  • THE MUSIC. I swear the only thing they're capable of is dubstep. Meaning, more often than not, they'd take an otherwise good song and find some way to make it worse. Ya can't just let the song play? Must you really "clubify" every song that ISNT Drake after not even a minute into the song's playing?! Have some respekt! (HOW THE FUK DO YOU RUIN 'THIS IS HOW WE DO IT'?!!) Granted, there are nights where they get it right and start playing some hood shit and maybe a little dancehall but those are rare, and given the demographic majority, of course they're gonna cater to them. And don't even get me started on the mash ups.... Fuk their djs
  • Some girls are stingy af. I can respect your wanting to stick with your friends. I can respect your not wanting a random hot dog in your buns. But people got to these things to have fun, right? It's all I really want, w/ or w/out a partner, and I'd be MORE than willing to cheer you on/back you up in however way you wanna turn up, but if you aint tryin' a turn up, why tf you even here????
  • Some girls are RUDE af. Idc how hot you think you are, you don't need to give me glares just cause i gave a gentle push so you can get by the crowds, as if I was trying to get your attention. I didn't like yo literal laughed off ass anyway
  • Most of these dudes are pussy whipped, no rhythm having douchebags, yet there's no respect for the dudes who actually can dance by their self or at least do what they can with a basic 2 step. We could be startin' cyphers and shit, and maybe even pick up a few moves, but nah. Aint nobody in it for the music anymore, which is why we cant have nice things
  • Spacing. Whenever I try to get down, there's always someone who has to physically knock me out of it so often that by the time an actual good song comes on, I aint even feelin it anymore, even IF someone was coming on to me. Perfect way to ruin my night

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