QOTD Thread II - 420 - Favourite question so far?

[Rehab]

Haven't read enough to feel certain I couldn't easily stumble on something more, but I do like this bit I caught from Luke:

Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh. Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets. But woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation. Woe unto you that are full! for ye shall hunger. Woe unto you that laugh now! for ye shall mourn and weep. Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets.

(I like the jib of a Christianity that points directly at a pariah and goes "YOU! You're pretty cool." and points at corruption in authority and goes "YOU! There is no-one worse than you." I personally get the impression it works much better as a protest religion than an established one)

Edited May 23, 2014 by Rehab

[euklyd]

I dunno about favorite, but...

James 2:17-24
¹⁷ So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead.
¹⁸ But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I by my works will show you my faith. [...] ²⁴ You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone.

I like this one. I also like:

Jeremiah 9:23
²³ Thus says the Lord: Do not let the wise boast in their wisdom, do not let the mighty boast in their might, do not let the wealthy boast in their wealth;

Only from the Bible because I don't know any passages from others, and I'm not nearly as familiar with the Bible as I used to be (and even that wasn't a LOT).

Edited May 23, 2014 by Euklyd

[MercyWalk]

I just talked to Jesus

He said, "What up, Yeezus?"

I said, "Shit, I’m chilling

Trying to stack these millions.”

– Kanye West, I Am A God

[Makaze]

If you can master nonsense as well as you have already learned to master sense, then each will expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free regardless of his surroundings. He becomes free to play order games and change them at will. He becomes free to play disorder games just for the hell of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And as the master of his own games, he plays without fear, and therefore without frustration, and therefore with good will in his soul and love in his being.

Edited May 23, 2014 by Makaze

[Parrhesia]

Principia Discordia is a sacred text of Discordianism written by Greg Hill (Malaclypse the Younger) and Kerry Thornley (Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst). It was originally published under the title "Principia Discordia or How The West Was Lost With Explanations to Yellow Pages Use" in a limited edition of 5 copies in 1965. The Principia was long revered as a humorous "underground classic" of Absurdism but became far more famous after being quoted extensively in The Illuminatus! Trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson.

Try again.

[Makaze]

I'll stick with what I chose, thanks.

[euklyd]

any religious text

Your choice of religious text doesn't count.

cool

[Parrhesia]

The question is about passages from 'a religious text'. It shouldn't be hard, even for you, to figure out what that means.

[Parrhesia]

cool

I looked Discordianism up, because I hate myself. It's like Pastafarianism in the hands of a philosophy major.

[euklyd]

You may wish to provide a definition for "religious text" since you obviously have something specific in mind.

There is some division as to whether it should be regarded as a parody religion, and if so to what degree.^{1} Discordians use subversive humor to spread their philosophy and to prevent their beliefs from becoming dogmatic.

Also I'm genuinely curious...do you get off on criticizing Makaze wherever he goes or something?

Edited May 23, 2014 by Euklyd

[Parrhesia]

a central tenet to Discordianism is 'consult your pineal gland'

it isn't a religion.

Anyone who uses common fucking sense will know exactly what I mean by 'religious text'. A fucking religious text. Not the scribblings of a university sophomore who's read too much Kierkegaard and jacks off twice a night.

[Parrhesia]

Also I'm genuinely curious...do you get off on criticizing Makaze wherever he goes or something?

Guess.

[Integrity]

tbh i'm all about inclusion but stuff like that and the flying spaghetti monster stuff, yeah you can make an argument "IT'S A RELIGION" but imo it's not in the spirit of the question

might as well quote star wars cause folks in the uk (i think?) census put their religion down as 'jedi'

actually that's not a bad idea, me

...otoh i'll probably be pointed out as wrong because spirit is subjective or something, but it seems pretty obvious to me that he meant 'text from a major undisputed religion' like the book of mormon or the quran or the mahabharata or osmethne, i dunno.

[peener weener]

FOR EVERY RECORD I SELL IN THE STORE

IT'S LIKE MECCA TO THE DEALER THAT'S SELLING IT RAW

mfw malice is now christian rapper (who is actually pretty good)

Edited May 23, 2014 by fuccboi

[MercyWalk]

tfw no q t clipse rapping about heaven and hell for 10 tracks straight

[Nightmare]

If We had caused this Qur'an to descend upon a mountain, thou verily hadst seen it humbled, rent asunder by the fear of God. Such similitudes coin We for mankind that haply they may reflect.

He is God, than Whom there is no other god, the Knower of the Invisible and the Visible. He is the Beneficent, Merciful.

He is God, than Whom there is no other god, the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One, Peace, the Keeper of Faith, the Guardian, the Majestic, the Compeller, the Superb. Glorified be God from all that they ascribe as partner (unto Him).

He is God, the Creator, the Shaper out of naught, the Fashioner. His are the most beautiful names. All that is in the heavens and the earth glorifieth Him, and He is the Mighty, the Wise.

And of mankind are some who say: We believe in God and the Last Day, when they believe not.

They think to beguile God and those who believe, and they beguile none save themselves; but they perceive not.

And when they fall in with those who believe, they say: We believe; but when they go apart to their devils they declare: Lo! we are with you; verily we did but mock.

God (Himself) doth mock them, leaving them to wander blindly on in their contumacy.

When the sun is overthrown,

And when the stars fall,

And when the hills are moved,

And when the camels big with young are abandoned,

And when the wild beasts are herded together,

And when the seas rise,

And when souls are reunited,

And when the girl-child that was buried alive is asked

For what sin she was slain,

And when the pages are laid open,

And when the sky is torn away,

And when hell is lighted,

And when the Garden is brought nigh,

(Then) every soul will know what it hath made ready.

Oh, but I call to witness the planets,

The stars which rise and set,

And the close of night,

And the breath of morning

That this is in truth the word of an honoured messenger,

Mighty, established in the presence of the Lord of the Throne,

(One) to be obeyed, and trustworthy;

And your comrade is not mad.

Surely he beheld Him on the clear horizon.

And he is not avid of the Unseen.

Nor is this the utterance of a devil worthy to be stoned.

Whither then go ye?

This is naught else than a reminder unto creation,

Unto whomsoever of you willeth to walk straight.

And ye will not, unless (it be) that Allah willeth, the Lord of Creation.

And We created you, then fashioned you, then told the angels: Fall ye prostrate before Adam! And they fell prostrate, all save Iblis, who was not of those who make prostration.

(God) said: What hindered thee that thou didst not fall prostrate when I bade thee? (Iblis) said: I am better than him. Thou createdst me of fire while him Thou didst create of mud.

(God) said: Then go down hence! It is not for thee to show pride here, so go forth! Lo! thou art of those degraded.

(Iblis) said: Reprieve me till the day when they are raised (from the dead).

(God) said: Lo! thou art of those reprieved.

(Iblis) said: Now, because Thou hast sent me astray, verily I shall lurk in ambush for them on Thy Right Path.

Then I shall come upon them from before them and from behind them and from their right hands and from their left hands, and Thou wilt not find most of them beholden (unto Thee).

(God) said: Go forth from hence, degraded, banished. As for such of them as follow thee, surely I will fill hell with all of you.

It's so long, but I couldn't really choose between them. ;__;

I had to use all my willpower to stop from posting everything else ever.

[Specta]

⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I've always found this one very calming

Edited May 23, 2014 by Specta

[Original Alear]

I like Matthew 25, especially these lines:

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'

"He will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

[peener weener]

tfw no q t clipse rapping about heaven and hell for 10 tracks straight

God only knows this feel ;_;

[Thor Odinson]

I don't think I've really read any modernly accepted religious texts.

Does the poetic edda count for the purposes here? If so I can grab some from there, I know the stories well enough. Otherwise I'll probably have to skip out.

[Parrhesia]

I don't think I've really read any modernly accepted religious texts.

Does the poetic edda count for the purposes here? If so I can grab some from there, I know the stories well enough. Otherwise I'll probably have to skip out.

Sure

[Makaze]

Being as serious as Discordianism will allow me, Discordianism is a mix between Zen Buddhism, Absurdism and a sense of surrealist humor. It is a religion that I truly respect and there are many people who follow its ethos because they believe it the best path for their lives. I hope to be one of those people one day; one who can take the world less seriously at will. I appreciate Discordianism because it encourages me to take myself as silly as I wish and has good reasons for believing that silliness is important to a healthy mind.

It's a little different from true mock religions in that it has real wisdom in its teachings and exists to prod people into being less serious instead of simply mocking them like the flying spaghetti monster thing does.

If you want something from a well known text, I have one I can choose.

"Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years." - Ninth Satanic Statement, Satanic Bible, Anton LaVey

Edited May 23, 2014 by Makaze

[Integrity]

jesus fucking christ i was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt once but holy shit your edge has become weaponized please never post again

[euklyd]

"Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years." - Ninth Satanic Statement, Satanic Bible, Anton LaVey

I'm genuinely curious...do you get off on mocking and/or antagonizing Parrhesia wherever he goes or something?

[Integrity]

double post fake edit: yes, you can take this as your victory at having successfully trolled a gullible theist by choosing the religion of parody and fucking satanism in the "best passage from religious text" qotd. congratulations.