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Fixing Fates story issues (spoilers)


Yari
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That's great! It's very cute and sweet! It's so not Arthur but it makes so much sense in that situation. Keep up the good work!

So I had some ideas of how to rewrite Aqua in my story:

First she is kidnapped after Kamui but Hoshido already had plans to kidnap her before that and keep her as a political prisioner because they were aware that Garon was planning an invasion, Mikoto basically brainwashes her into liking Hoshido by being kind to her, bad mouthing Nohr, having her spend time with the Hoshido siblings (with whom she becomes close) and forcing her to reject her Nohr heritage, the Nohr siblings think Aqua is dead because that was what Garon told them after sending spies to try and rescue her but Aqua refused to be taken because "Nohr is evil and they are not my family!". The Hoshido siblings are not aware Aqua is a princess of Nohr they just think she is a Nohrian girl that was taken in by Mikoto for some reason. I'm not saying I'll make Mikoto evil just pragmatic. Also she knows of Touma but she doesn't believe it because she thinks it's just a story her mother Shemei told her when she was young.

I've been trying to rewrite Aqua for some time and this was all I had. I know she has other problems but I want to concentrate on making her backstory more belivable.

It's definitely atypical of Harold/Arthur's general attitude but I think a character should have a variety of ways they react to different people. He can be the hammy hero of justice to some, but a loving father to his son. Some characters in Fates are obsessed with their gimmick, and while it can make for good comedy, I want my characters to be nuanced.

Interesting Aqua ideas. I like the idea of a kind but pragmatic Mikoto. Soft to her loved ones, but have a steely determination to do whatever it takes to secure her country's safety.

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I am generally having problems with all the characters that need to be incorporated into the plot, so I'll be cutting some of them.

Candidates include: all of the children (except Siegbert and Shinonome, who are getting cameos as babies at the end of each route), Jakob and Flora (or rather I'll make Felicia a composite of their characters), maybe Aqua (since I have trouble finding space for her in my story), Lilith, Hydra and all characters exclusive to the 3rd route.

Fates has very extensive cast, which can be hard to work with and keep track of. I prefer working with a smaller cast, so I can have more time to develop and show off each and every one of them. I make sure that I (while writing) know what all the characters are doing at any given time, so I don't accidently forget about them and can set up their involvement better.

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I think that could work if you keep Kamui's dragon powers saved for said third path, where Hydra wishes for Kamui to take its place as the dragon god due to his own degeneration.

Yeah, I have a scenario of the 3rd Path being Kamui disgruntled with the lands of men for their atrocities, corruption, what have you. He's brought into Touma's fold to forge a new era for the world.

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Aqua would be an obvious choice. If you don't plan on including all the children (you don't seem very interested on that) I say go for it. Are you planning on including other couples or just M!KamuixSomeone?

You are right in that regard. For me, adding children would just be a hassle as it adds more characters to write about. I do plan on other couples as well, but I want to see the supports first in order to find right fits. Kamui has higher priority because I am planning on him actually having influence in the war, so whether to just match with someone with personality that match or do a whole political marriage is still up in the air.

About the whole cutting characters thing: Not all characters need to be three-dimensional, as long as they don't make an impact in the story, like, say Suzukaze.

Heck, why not just kill them? Asama is going fast in book, writing his weird speech will be too much of a bother.

Edited by Taka-kun
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You are right in that regard. For me, adding children would just be a hassle as it adds more characters to write about. I do plan on other couples as well, but I want to see the supports first in order to find right fits. Kamui has higher priority because I am planning on him actually having influence in the war, so whether to just match with someone with personality that match or do a whole political marriage is still up in the air.

About the whole cutting characters thing: Not all characters need to be three-dimensional, as long as they don't make an impact in the story, like, say Suzukaze.

Heck, why not just kill them? Asama is going fast in book, writing his weird speech will be too much of a bother.

I'm going to change a lot of supports because especially S supports because most of them feel very rushed. Honestly for M!Kamui I think Aqua or Flora would be the best options. First one because it's obvious and the second one because it would be a good choice for political marriage.

I say keep the characters unless they are a complete bother to the story.

Why not cut off his tongue? Death is cheap unless it's done well! But if can do it well then go ahead.

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Also she knows of Touma but she doesn't believe it because she thinks it's just a story her mother Shemei told her when she was young.

Shenmei is Mikoto's sister by the way, unless you want to make it like that in your story.

Edited by Ryo
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Shenmei is Mikoto's sister by the way, unless you want to make it like that in your story.

Sorry I actually meant Aqua sorry for the poor wording in the post. It's edited now.

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I'm going to change a lot of supports because especially S supports because most of them feel very rushed. Honestly for M!Kamui I think Aqua or Flora would be the best options. First one because it's obvious and the second one because it would be a good choice for political marriage.

I say keep the characters unless they are a complete bother to the story.

Why not cut off his tongue? Death is cheap unless it's done well! But if can do it well then go ahead.

Flora I have also considered, as well as Crimson and Anna. But the problem is that Aqua is just so unsociable with everyone else that it's hard to fit her with anyone else.

I am probably going to keep all the first gen as they are enough to work with. And character deaths are going to happen. It's a theme in the game, it will be a theme in my fic as well. And not all will be handled satisfactory, but at least I want to make them with an impact. Asama is the exception.

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Flora I have also considered, as well as Crimson and Anna. But the problem is that Aqua is just so unsociable with everyone else that it's hard to fit her with anyone else.

I am probably going to keep all the first gen as they are enough to work with. And character deaths are going to happen. It's a theme in the game, it will be a theme in my fic as well. And not all will be handled satisfactory, but at least I want to make them with an impact. Asama is the exception.

Aqua was made to be ship teased with M!Kamui, be a "misterious" character and be an exposition fairy. Therefore you either change her personality or you marry her too Kamui. With that said my M!Kamui will end up with Zero in my fic. I just couldn't stop myself.

I'm also going to kill off some characters but I honestly have more fun by traumatizing them and scarring them. As I said as long as it doesn't feel cheap and they have an impact in the story characters deaths are okay. I see you don't like Asama very much.

Edited by Yari
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Aqua was made to be ship teased with M!Kamui, be a "misterious" character and be an exposition fairy. Therefore you either change her personality or you marry her too Kamui. With that said my M!Kamui will end up with Zero in my fic. I just couldn't stop myself.

I'm also going to kill off some characters but I honestly have more fun by traumatizing them and scarring them. As I said as long as it doesn't feel cheap and they have an impact in the story characters deaths are okay. I see you don't like Asama very much.

I agree that traumatizing and scarring characters is way darker and that is not a territory I am going down. I don't know what you refer to but I think about rape and looting and killing children and the characters themselves doing despicable acts. Honestly, killing characters is easier since that would affect others, such as killing the retainers to affect the master, since it at least gives an incentive for revenge.

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Aqua was made to be ship teased with M!Kamui, be a "misterious" character and be an exposition fairy. Therefore you either change her personality or you marry her too Kamui. With that said my M!Kamui will end up with Zero in my fic. I just couldn't stop myself.

I'm also going to kill off some characters but I honestly have more fun by traumatizing them and scarring them. As I said as long as it doesn't feel cheap and they have an impact in the story characters deaths are okay. I see you don't like Asama very much.

I am now even more interested in this fic then I ever was.Case literally every fic of Mamui x Zero either an explicit one-shot or just boring.

Edited by Azz01
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About the whole cutting characters thing: Not all characters need to be three-dimensional, as long as they don't make an impact in the story, like, say Suzukaze.

Yeah, I don't want (nor have the meansf or)all of them to be three-dimensional, but the way the cast is structured there'd be too many instances of someone receiving a three sentence mention before they disappear again. Kamui's personal cloud is already big as it is and Flora, Jakob and Felicia would probably work better as a single character rather than Maid1, Maid2 and the Butler.

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I agree that traumatizing and scarring characters is way darker and that is not a territory I am going down. I don't know what you refer to but I think about rape and looting and killing children and the characters themselves doing despicable acts. Honestly, killing characters is easier since that would affect others, such as killing the retainers to affect the master, since it at least gives an incentive for revenge.

I don't mean any of that. I just think about putting the character through physical traumas and facing the horrors of war and just fearing what will happen to them, their loved ones and their countries. Pushing them beyond their limits and having them do what they don't want to do but have to do anyway. I'm mostly talking about affecting the characters throught their own fears and paranoias wich can be very scary if done well.

I am now even more interested in this fic then I ever was.Case literally every fic of Mamui x Zero either an explicit one-shot or just boring.

I was thinking about marrying to Aqua or Flora but I love Zero and I ship MamuixZero so I ended up choosing this pairing.

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I don't mean any of that. I just think about putting the character through physical traumas and facing the horrors of war and just fearing what will happen to them, their loved ones and their countries. Pushing them beyond their limits and having them do what they don't want to do but have to do anyway. I'm mostly talking about affecting the characters throught their own fears and paranoias wich can be very scary if done well.

Well, rape and looting and child-killing is "horrors of war". Doing what they don't want to do but have to do anyway can be under "despicable acts" done by themselves. Did you have anything specific in mind?

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Well, rape and looting and child-killing is "horrors of war". Doing what they don't want to do but have to do anyway can be under "despicable acts" done by themselves. Did you have anything specific in mind?

I have other things in mind honestly. Looting is on my list but raping and child-killing are not. I write what I'm comfortable with. I do have one specific in mind.

It's the decision of my Femui to side with Hoshido. She doesn't want to but she feels like it is the right choice. Nohr wants to invade a peacefull country for reasons she doesn't know. She wouldn't leave her friends and family just like that, she did it because she felt it was the right choice. I don't think anyone would choose to leave the country and family they know for a completely unknown one. Morally Hoshido appealed to her so she sided with it. I know it might not seem like much right now but I plan on having her in a way regret leaving home for the most moral choice.

I know it's not much right now but it's the only one I have set on stone right now.

Edited by Yari
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I have other things in mind honestly. Looting is on my list but raping and child-killing are not. I write what I'm comfortable with. I do have one specific in mind.

It's the decision of my Femui to side with Hoshido. She doesn't want to but she feels like it is the right choice. Nohr wants to invade a peacefull country for reasons she doesn't know. She wouldn't leave her friends and family just like that, she did it because she felt it was the right choice. I don't think anyone would choose to leave the country and family they know for a completely unknown one. Morally Hoshido appealed to her so she sided with it. I know it might not seem like much right now but I plan on having her in a way regret leaving home for the most moral choice.

I know it's not much right now but it's the only one I have set on stone right now.

I meant the other characters, since I don't doubt that you will give Kamui some suffering (don't we all want to) and you seem adamant about keeping them all alive to make them withstand suffering. But if there is nothing else, that's fine.

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I meant the other characters, since I don't doubt that you will give Kamui some suffering (don't we all want to) and you seem adamant about keeping them all alive to make them withstand suffering. But if there is nothing else, that's fine.

Both my Kamuis will suffer! I do it for character development! I'm not very good with death scenes and I already have a few characters I have to kill because of the plot. I do plan on making the royal siblings having to do something they don't want and have one of them do what they want to but live with the consequences. It will either be Marx or Ryoma I'm not sure yet.

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Both my Kamuis will suffer! I do it for character development! I'm not very good with death scenes and I already have a few characters I have to kill because of the plot. I do plan on making the royal siblings having to do something they don't want and have one of them do what they want to but live with the consequences. It will either be Marx or Ryoma I'm not sure yet.

Or because you are sadistic! ADMIT IT!

What about the retainers? Saizou is pretty adamant about "FOR MA LORD!" and tells everyone else to lay their life for him.

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Or because you are sadistic! ADMIT IT!

What about the retainers? Saizou is pretty adamant about "FOR MA LORD!" and tells everyone else to lay their life for him.

It's obvious isn't it?

I'm still not sure about the retainers. But I'm working on them (even thought I'm more concentrated on the royal siblings). Saizou I plan on giving him a reason to be so dedicated to Ryoma besides the for duty thing and I want him to doubt Ryoma at a certain point in the story but as I said I'm not sure about what to do yet.

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It's obvious isn't it?

I'm still not sure about the retainers. But I'm working on them (even thought I'm more concentrated on the royal siblings). Saizou I plan on giving him a reason to be so dedicated to Ryoma besides the for duty thing and I want him to doubt Ryoma at a certain point in the story but as I said I'm not sure about what to do yet.

Very well. I have no further questioning.

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While I don't mind Fates story despite the many flaws, mostly I'm disappointed that the premise advertisements had promised- didn't really live up to the hype. I wanted to see some serious politics between the warring kingdoms! But all the routes seem to be straightforward instead, no Garon = happy days.

But I suppose this is why I'm writing an FE14 AU where it's politics stirring the plot rather than mad dragon gods.

Edited by Damosel
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While I don't mind Fates story despite the many flaws, mostly I'm disappointed that the premise advertisements and promised- didn't really live up to the hype. I wanted to see some serious politics between the warring kingdoms! But all the routes seem to be straightforward instead, no Garon = happy days.

But I suppose this is why I'm writing an FE14 AU where it's politics stirring the plot rather than mad dragon gods.

Welcome to the "We are dissapointed so we make our own Fates!" express train. We hope you enjoy your ride.

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While I don't mind Fates story despite the many flaws, mostly I'm disappointed that the premise advertisements and promised- didn't really live up to the hype. I wanted to see some serious politics between the warring kingdoms! But all the routes seem to be straightforward instead, no Garon = happy days.

But I suppose this is why I'm writing an FE14 AU where it's politics stirring the plot rather than mad dragon gods.

picard_make_it_so_1_109599.jpg

And keep us posted. We at Fire Emblem Plot Complainers Incorporated care about your opinions.

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Welcome to the "We are dissapointed so we make our own Fates!" express train. We hope you enjoy your ride.

picard_make_it_so_1_109599.jpg

And keep us posted. We at Fire Emblem Plot Complainers Incorporated care about your opinions.

So now I'm like the conductor of the "We are dissapointed so we make our own Fates!" express train and the CEO of the Fire Emblem Plot Complainers inc? I actually like that idea.
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