Fixing Fates story issues (spoilers)

[Time the Crestfallen]

Unless all of her half-sibling kills were via toxic root vegetables, I'd say she'd need a fair bit of talent as a fighter. Also, I'd say it takes as much skill if not more to fight atop a flying mount but that's just me.

Perhaps, but when I say 'in terms of skill' I mean it in the most mathematical and theory-crafting way possible (i.e. the fight takes place in a flat, in-doors arena with no mounts and a Bronze version of their weapon of choice). So in that scenario, she performs the worst. But when you give her access to a mount so powerful that it could beat anybody not named Xander, Ryoma and maybe Kamui by itself, than that's a whole other story. Basically, she has the lowest level of personal, but is one of the most dangerous to fight on an actual battlefield.

EDIT: As long as we're talking characters, do you have any advice for Kamui? Every time I think I find a level of abuse I think works, I wind up having second thoughts because I'm worried it'd come across as over-the-top and needless.

Edited November 12, 2015 by Phillius

[NekoKnight]

EDIT: As long as we're talking characters, do you have any advice for Kamui? Every time I think I find a level of abuse I think works, I wind up having second thoughts because I'm worried it'd come across as over-the-top and needless.

Tricky, very tricky. I think I've already voiced my concern that limitations on Gooron's ability to torment Kamui are largely contrived, and the plot itself being needless. It contains a lot of elements from the original story I didn't care for.

Why don't you write up a Kamui bio similar in length to Marx and Camilla's and we'll see if we can't break new ground.

[Alazen]

For modern, real-life royal dynasties that is the case. But while I do believe that a certain level of realism is required, I'm not going to slavishly devote myself to realism for a story that a) contains magic and b) features nations that are inspired by real-life nations. In real-life medieval ages, women weren't allowed to do much other than domestic duties and princesses existed solely for the purpose of being married off, but that is hardly the case for Fire Emblem.

Do you seriously believe that women were just housewives back in Medieval Europe? That women on farms didn't work in the fields, none were running shops, and there was nobody like the She-Wolf of France or assorted noblewomen who oversaw lands and/or troops? Edited November 12, 2015 by Alazen

[Time the Crestfallen]

Do you seriously believe that women were just housewives back in Medieval Europe? That women on farms didn't work in the fields, none were running shops, and there was nobody like the She-Wolf of France or assorted noblewomen who oversaw lands and/or troops?

No, I was just making a (poorly-worded) statement about how real-life historical gender politics don't really apply to fictional stories unless the story wants them to. The Hoshidans don't have any problem with Mikoto running the country in-game, so the Queen's importance being nothing more than giving birth to children doesn't seem to be the case for Fates.

[NekoKnight]

Do you seriously believe that women were just housewives back in Medieval Europe? That women on farms didn't work in the fields, none were running shops, and there was nobody like the She-Wolf of France or assorted noblewomen who oversaw lands and/or troops?

You could be a little less critical and more constructive, you know. Phillius is trying to write a story, not a documentary on gender relations in medieval Europe.

[Time the Crestfallen]

Kamui's Bio is coming, but I'm just going to give a quick summary of his issues:

-Insomnia

-Guilt Complex

-Self-Esteem issues relating to body image and whether or not he's a burden to others

-Near inability to feel accomplished for his achievements or accept praise from others.

-Minor Depressive Disorder

-Emotional/mental dependence on close friends and family

[NekoKnight]

Kamui's Bio is coming, but I'm just going to give a quick summary of his issues:

-Insomnia

-Guilt Complex

-Self-Esteem issues relating to body image and whether or not he's a burden to others

-Near inability to feel accomplished for his achievements or accept praise from others.

-Minor Depressive Disorder

-Emotional/mental dependence on close friends and family

And....this is before Gooron's emotional abuse?

[Time the Crestfallen]

No, after. Or maybe during is the word? I dunno, but Gooron's abuse is what made him develop those issues.

[Alazen]

I'm still not seeing what warrants keeping Operation Tears.

[Time the Crestfallen]

I'm still not seeing what warrants keeping Operation Tears.

1. Because it justifies the stories framing device

2. Because the overall purpose of Operation Tears (making Kamui easier to possess) gives a purpose to Anankos and co. existing aside from making Kamui sad for the sake of it.

3. Because I'm writing a fan fiction as a rewrite instead of a script. If something isn't 100% necessary, but I personally think that adding/keeping it in with some alterations will make for a more entertaining and compelling story, than I'll do it.

[Time the Crestfallen]

So...time for the controversial one; what are you guys doing with the kids?

To be honest, if there's anything that I'd cut out entirely, it'd be the second gen. If I had to put them in, then the only thing the Astral Realm would be used for would be to make the pregnancy go by quickly and then just have them be raised normally, but I'm leaning very heavily towards just saying f*ck it and getting rid of them.

[NekoKnight]

No children via time skips, time travel or alternate dimensions. Some children will be re-purposed into other roles/relationships. Midoriko is Suzukaze and Saizo's younger sister. Seigbert is Marx's cousin and serves the same lord as Silas. Etc.

[Azz]

So...time for the controversial one; what are you guys doing with the kids?

To be honest, if there's anything that I'd cut out entirely, it'd be the second gen. If I had to put them in, then the only thing the Astral Realm would be used for would be to make the pregnancy go by quickly and then just have them be raised normally, but I'm leaning very heavily towards just saying f*ck it and getting rid of them.

I plan on making them actual characters that are not children.

Kanna-Kamui in my story is a failed attempt by Hydra to make a weapon to take over Nohr and Hoshido. Kanna is a second test and also fails after she is found by the army and taken in by Kamui.

Shigure-A relation to Aqua who leads a small army in Touma who try to keep what is left of Touma that has not been taken from Hydra alive. The one who finds Kanna during an escape mission.

Deere-An apprentice to Joker

Sophie-The sister of Cyrus who has a crush on Kamui(Not Cordy or Oboro level crush but still a small crush none the less)

Midoriko-A young merchant kidnapped by Draj whom Suzukaze adopts after hearing that she is an orphan(I will explain why he adopts her later)

The royal sons-All cousins to royal family

Gurei-The actual son of Saizou and Kagerou.(He appears younger then he is in his actual portrait)

Kinu-A young fox of Nishiki's tribe.

Hisame-Apprentice of Fuuga

Mitama-A young priestess whom shadows Izana

Matoi-Alongside Hinoka and Tsubaki, a trainee Peg Warrior under Yuugiri

Shara-From Touma. In the army alongside Shigure

Ignis-Again from Touma and in the army

Velour-From Flannel's tribe and his betrothed wife. Cares about Flannel a lot

Lutz-Harold's actual son who has a vendetta against him for being a generally bad father

Ophelia and Soleil-Both from Touma and are lovers. Ophelia gets annoyed at Soleil's constant flirtatious manner, while Soleil gets annoyed at her very eccentric mannerisms but both love each other non the less

Eponine-Was part of Zero's band of bandits. Was Zero's protege until he left and was resentful of him until he saved her from being killed bu the group

I will obviously expand them more but this is just a rough lay out of what they are going to be like.

[Time the Crestfallen]

Lutz-Harold's actual son who has a vendetta against him for being a generally bad father

But seriously, how is Arthur a bad father? I remember him being a very doting and loving parent in their support and 4komas.

[Azz]

But seriously, how is Arthur a bad father? I remember him being a very doting and loving parent in their support and 4komas.

I know Harold is generally a good father in his supports but I wanted to expand on Harold and bring him more character then just someone who has bad luck(Like I am trying to do with all the characters). But pretty much over time he stops resenting him since Harold redeems himself and such.

Again it is a ruff draft, in fact I don't even know if kids will even be in my re-write(But I would like to include them).

[NekoKnight]

Good ideas Azz. I think I'll write some bios for my children characters too.

But seriously, how is Arthur a bad father? I remember him being a very doting and loving parent in their support and 4komas.

A number of the children (Lutz and Eponine, maybe more) are, at least initially, resentful of their father's for neglecting them in the outrealms. They later reconcile but that's how they feel at first.

[Time the Crestfallen]

Good ideas Azz. I think I'll write some bios for my children characters too.

A number of the children (Lutz and Eponine, maybe more) are, at least initially, resentful of their father's for neglecting them in the outrealms. They later reconcile but that's how they feel at first.

Really? Huh, I don't remember that part. I need to start reading the supports again before I open my mouth on things like this.

[nordopolica]

Really? Huh, I don't remember that part. I need to start reading the supports again before I open my mouth on things like this.

In their supports Lutz and Harold are very buddy-buddy and quite a cute father-son pair. It's only initially prior to his recruitment that Lutz is sort of chucking a hissy fit about being kind of abandoned. It gets resolved quite quickly and isn't really turned into any sort of drama outside of the chapter.

I'm probably super late to this conversation but if it were me I would cut child characters out altogether if they aren't children otherwise they start to seem like OCs that are inserted for no reason. It begins to seem like there are too many characters without a particular role outside of having small cameos as a nod to the source material. It could definitely work, I don't doubt it, but it seems unnecessary. If I were to write them in, I'd probably have a timeskip to be honest to widen the scope of the war or simply have them mentioned as babies born during.

[B.Leu]

God forbid that you get angry at your parents for abandoning you. I know this is a japanese game and all, but geez.

I was thinking about something, Kamui's 'charisma' is because of his draconic blood, no ? Does it count as indirect brainwashing then ? Because, seriously, it would explain a lot of things. that would mainly show just how much the plot sucks.

Suddenly, Kamui's character become much more of a waste, and sadder.

Edited November 16, 2015 by B.Leu

[Alazen]

Fates tries to spin Kamui as this super charismatic shining paragon. This even applies to the ''wrong'' Path (Nohr), where the narrative twists itself so that Kamui isn't vilified for his actions.

I recommend making Hoshido the ''Selfish Path'' of the two. Go away from Warcrimesville Led By King Cartoonvillain Versus Innocent Noble Japanlike. Kamui would be informed of the perks that come with his bloodline and so in Birthright would act to access those perks.

Edited November 16, 2015 by Alazen

[NekoKnight]

Here’s some children bio’s. Some of them will be recruited in paralogues and others in main story chapters. Some won’t appear at all in routes they aren’t native to.

[spoiler=Shared]

Shigure-A fellow member of Aqua’s water clan. He can be recruited late game in Nohr and Hoshido.

Midoriko-A war orphan from the last Hoshido/Nohr war. She makes and sells medicine to make ends meet but she was looked after by both Suzukaze and Saizo. She can be recruited around midgame in both routes.

[spoiler=Hoshido]

Kisaragi and Shinonome: Members of a branch family to the royal Hoshidan family. Both can be killed mid game in the Nohr route.

Kinu-A young fox of Nishiki's tribe. Young and mischievous, she enjoys playing tricks on humans.

Hisame- A serious and mildly short-tempered subordinate of Ryoma. He is killed by Kamui in the Nohr route.

Matoi-Alongside Hinoka and Tsubaki, a trainee Peg Warrior under Yuugiri. She can be killed in the Nohr route.

Shara- A somewhat disturbing mage with bizarre spiritual beliefs. She believes she houses a god’s spirit and never stays in one place for very long.

[spoiler=Nohr]

Seigbert: Marx’s cousin and a knight who serves the same lord as Silas in eastern Nohr. He becomes vengeful against Hoshidans after someone close to him was assassinated. He’s recruited mid-game in Nohr but is killed during the invasion in the Hoshido route.

Ignis- A knight from the same order as Benoit who is stationed outside the capital. He is a loyal Nohrian knight and takes a lot of convincing to join the rebellion. He is recruited late game in Nohr. He is killed in the Hoshido route.

Velour-From Flannel's tribe and his fiancé. She is driven feral by a dark magic but Elise cures her and she becomes playable midgame in Nohr. She is never cured in the Hoshido route and in her madness, killed Flannel. Kamui puts her down in this route.

Lutz-Harold's son who he unknowingly sired when he was only a teenager. They have a rocky relationship at first because Lutz believed Harold abandoned him and his mother. If Lutz and Harold get an S support (s supports are for any paired ending) Harold will meet again with Lutz’ mother and the three of them will start a family again.

Ophelia and Soleil- Are former lovers but became estranged after a disagreement. Ophelia became a mercenary with Zero (who is also a freelancer for hire) and Soleil became a wandering ‘hero’. Ophelia is recruited early on in Nohr and Soleil is recruited mid-late game. They'll get back together if S ranked. Ophelia can be killed in the Hoshido route.

Edited November 16, 2015 by NekoKnight

[Time the Crestfallen]

Here’s some children bio’s. Some of them will be recruited in paralogues and others in main story chapters. Some won’t appear at all in routes they aren’t native to.

[spoiler=Shared]

Shigure-A fellow member of Aqua’s water clan. He can be recruited late game in Nohr and Hoshido.

Midoriko-A war orphan from the last Hoshido/Nohr war. She makes and sells medicine to make ends meet but she was looked after by both Suzukaze and Saizo. She can be recruited around midgame in both routes.

[spoiler=Hoshido]

Kisaragi and Shinonome: Members of a branch family to the royal Hoshidan family. Both can be killed mid game in the Nohr route.

Kinu-A young fox of Nishiki's tribe. Young and mischievous, she enjoys playing tricks on humans.

Hisame- A serious and mildly short-tempered subordinate of Ryoma. He is killed by Kamui in the Nohr route.

Matoi-Alongside Hinoka and Tsubaki, a trainee Peg Warrior under Yuugiri. She can be killed in the Nohr route.

Shara- A somewhat disturbing mage with bizarre spiritual beliefs. She believes she houses a god’s spirit and never stays in one place for very long.

[spoiler=Nohr]

Seigbert: Marx’s cousin and a knight who serves the same lord as Silas in eastern Nohr. He becomes vengeful against Hoshidans after someone close to him was assassinated. He’s recruited mid-game in Nohr but is killed during the invasion in the Hoshido route.

Ignis- A knight from the same order as Benoit who is stationed outside the capital. He is a loyal Nohrian knight and takes a lot of convincing to join the rebellion. He is recruited late game in Nohr. He is killed in the Hoshido route.

Velour-From Flannel's tribe and his fiancé. She is driven feral by a dark magic but Elise cures her and she becomes playable midgame in Nohr. She is never cured in the Hoshido route and in her madness, killed Flannel. Kamui puts her down in this route.

Lutz-Harold's son who he unknowingly sired when he was only a teenager. They have a rocky relationship at first because Lutz believed Harold abandoned him and his mother. If Lutz and Harold get an S support (s supports are for any paired ending) Harold will meet again with Lutz’ mother and the three of them will start a family again.

Ophelia and Soleil- Are former lovers but became estranged after a disagreement. Ophelia became a mercenary with Zero (who is also a freelancer for hire) and Soleil became a wandering ‘hero’. Ophelia is recruited early on in Nohr and Soleil is recruited mid-late game. They'll get back together if S ranked. Ophelia can be killed in the Hoshido route.

Those are all pretty good. I'm still undecided on children myself, but I'll try to think of something if I do decide to keep them in.

Anyway, I think I'll do the Leo and Elise's (she'll come latter) bios before Kamui's, mostly because I tend to have an image of what I want in my head and not explain it properly which, considering the subject matter, could lead to some...messy discussions, so I'm trying to make sure that I explain myself clearly.

[spoiler=Leo]

-Leo is the smart one of the group; processing extensive talent with magic, strategy and the scientific method. His mother was a very famous and respected scientist/scholar and her relationship with Garon was a primarily intellectual one. Garon was a very well-read man and processed a significant interest in philosophy and other scholarly pursuits and the two would often debate such things at length (Garon lost more often than not, but he enjoyed them nevertheless). Garon's relationship with her was much less sexual than the one with Camilla's mother and she was initially very upset when she got pregnant, but she eventually came around (somewhat; she still wasn't pleased but she was determined to make the most of it) when she saw one of her colleagues having her daughter help around the lab/study/whatever they would use in those times. Garon was determined to provide for her and his child, but their relationship was much less friendly.

-When the Waifu Wars broke out, Leo's mother had the opposite strategy to Camilla's mother; while Camilla's mother chose the 'kill them before others can kill us', Leo's mother strategy was to never initiate an attack and defend themself until the feuding ended. Working closely with her scientist and mage colleagues, she developed a way to detect even the smallest amounts of poison in both food and drink as well as a means to purify them, magic alarms that were hooked up to automated magic turrets that would vaporise any unauthorised guests (with the sensors being given blood samples in order to differentiate between authorised and unauthorised) and other such magical devices that were years ahead of their time, required every favour she had gathered in order to develop and have variations that are very commonly used by the Nohrian Military.

-This didn't prevent her from dying in the end though, although her does was more 'natural' than the others; she agreed to take part in an experiment involving Dark Magic "for science", as she was considered an expert on the subject. Things went badly, everyone wound up dead (even with all the safety measures in place, Dark Magic ain't nothing to f*ck with) and the mother's assistant took the motherly duties. However, lacking experience with how serious the feuds between the concubines were, she was quickly killed off and became the last casualty of the Waifu Wars.

-Leo's mother raised him to be overly cautious and not prone to trusting others as the court politics of Nohr can be very deadly at times and unless you have more experience with such things (like Camilla or Ecatarina), then it's safer to just write everyone off as treacherous. However, this spilled over into his personal life and resulted in him becoming very antisocial; preferring solitary activities and generally not enjoying spending long periods of time with others (which doesn't mix well with Camilla's doting). General rule of thumb; he's more antisocial than Azura, but she has the bigger trust issues.

-Leo however, does legitimately want a deeper and more meaningful relationship with his siblings and subordinates, but he becomes very irritable and snarky when he has to spend long periods of time in their proximity, so he essentially has to force himself to be in their presence sometimes.

-Leo inherited his mothers intellect, but not her love for science. Leo's talents lie more in the area of governing countries and strategy. But, realistically speaking, he could be a genius in any area that he wants, he just chooses to focus on those areas because those are the ones he enjoys the most. His preferred weapon (tomes) was chosen because he likes to be recognised for his talents. Xander and Camilla were already very talented physical fighters (Kamui doesn't count because he wasn't that good at fighting until shortly before the game-events start. I'll talk about that latter though), so he specialised in magic because he believed that he wouldn't be able to equal either of them as physical fighters.

-As a last note, Leo (just like Kamui) isn't considered attractive by Nohrian standards because Nohrian men are expected to be very ruggedly handsome and muscular, while Leo has a lot of feminine features and is rather waifish in physique. I mostly mentioned this because I mentioned standards of beauty in Camilla's bio and Leo is mentioned to be very feminine looking, so this is for the sake of attention-to-detail more than anything else.

Edited November 16, 2015 by Phillius

[Time the Crestfallen]

Aaaand here's Else!

[spoiler=Elise]
-Elise is the heart of the family and is more than capable of cheering up the others when they're having a bad day (yes, even Leo, although he'd rather bite hos own tongue off than admit it). The relationship Garon had with her mother was a primarily emotional one; when Garon was worn down from a long day or stressed/frustrated, she was the one who would greet him with a warm smile, a cup of his favourite tea and let him rest his head in her lap and rant about what a horrible day he had. She's also the one he can be said to have 'loved' in the most in the traditional sense of the word.

-However, her family is one that is highly prone to hereditary mental instability (it's a very well-kept secret however, so nobody outside of the house knows about it) so, in as few words as possible, she became the Tharja to Garon's Robin; she was very obsessively devoted to him and despised the other concubines for 'tainting' their relationship, although she was very good at hiding it (usually).

-As a result, she flipped out when Garon 'married' Shenmei and made it openly clear that she despised her (she got a bit more leeway than others would've because she was his favourite). While she openly didn't like Shenmei, she was merely passive-aggressive when it came to antagonising her personally because Shenmei would easily win in a fight. She was however, a ring-leader in making Azura's life miserable (details about that will come latter). She was the second to last casualties of the Waifu Wars and was slain by Camilla (guess how).

-However, while her love for Garon was very apparent, she has significantly less affection for Elise. The only time she ever displayed any motherly affection for Elise was when Garon was there to see it and was very negligent otherwise, with her personal maid becoming a surrogate mother figure for Elise.

-Anyway, Elise was the least affected by the Waifu Wars and recognises that her siblings have a lot emotional issues resulting from it. She helps them by trying to come across as endlessly energetic and cheerful (which she is, she just exaggerates it whenever they're around), as he sheer joyful energy and optimism can cheer them up when they're in melancholic moods. However, this has led to all of them being very, very, very protective of her, to the point where "Go check on Elise for me" is one of the most commonly orders given to their retainers. This annoys her a lot, with one of the most frequent causes of sibling spats being on whether or not Elise can look after herself.

-One example of this was Elise wanting Camilla to teach her how to use tomes. Camilla obviously didn't want that, so she said that she'd teach her how once she bonded with Svanhilde (Elise's prf weapon), but has continued to make excuses for why she can't for almost an entire year after she had.

-And I'm pretty sure I was going to mention something else, but I don't remember what it is. Maybe I'll remember latter.

Whelp, that's Nohr siblings done. I've also finished editing the chapters I've already posted and will start working on new things by Friday hopefully.

Also, while I'm here, I might as well post age headcanons (the difference chronological and biological age thing will be detailed latter):

[spoiler=Ages]

Xander: 28/21

Ryoma: 25/20

Camilla: 23/19

Hinoka: 23/19

Azura: 20/19

Kamui: 18/18

Takumi: 17/17

Leo: 17/17

Elise/Sakura: 15/15

The game events start on June 19th

Edited November 18, 2015 by Phillius

[Alazen]

So, I've been thinking of spinning Touma as a composite of the Cradles of Civilization (for humans anyway) in the Yellow River and Fertile Crescent. It's occurred to me it might be a dandy idea to try to bridge the gap between the Western and and Eastern cultures.

Edited November 20, 2015 by Alazen

[NekoKnight]

[spoiler=Leo]

-Leo is the smart one of the group; processing extensive talent with magic, strategy and the scientific method. His mother was a very famous and respected scientist/scholar and her relationship with Garon was a primarily intellectual one. Garon was a very well-read man and processed a significant interest in philosophy and other scholarly pursuits and the two would often debate such things at length (Garon lost more often than not, but he enjoyed them nevertheless). Garon's relationship with her was much less sexual than the one with Camilla's mother and she was initially very upset when she got pregnant, but she eventually came around (somewhat; she still wasn't pleased but she was determined to make the most of it) when she saw one of her colleagues having her daughter help around the lab/study/whatever they would use in those times. Garon was determined to provide for her and his child, but their relationship was much less friendly.

-When the Waifu Wars broke out, Leo's mother had the opposite strategy to Camilla's mother; while Camilla's mother chose the 'kill them before others can kill us', Leo's mother strategy was to never initiate an attack and defend themself until the feuding ended. Working closely with her scientist and mage colleagues, she developed a way to detect even the smallest amounts of poison in both food and drink as well as a means to purify them, magic alarms that were hooked up to automated magic turrets that would vaporise any unauthorised guests (with the sensors being given blood samples in order to differentiate between authorised and unauthorised) and other such magical devices that were years ahead of their time, required every favour she had gathered in order to develop and have variations that are very commonly used by the Nohrian Military.

-This didn't prevent her from dying in the end though, although her does was more 'natural' than the others; she agreed to take part in an experiment involving Dark Magic "for science", as she was considered an expert on the subject. Things went badly, everyone wound up dead (even with all the safety measures in place, Dark Magic ain't nothing to f*ck with) and the mother's assistant took the motherly duties. However, lacking experience with how serious the feuds between the concubines were, she was quickly killed off and became the last casualty of the Waifu Wars.

-Leo's mother raised him to be overly cautious and not prone to trusting others as the court politics of Nohr can be very deadly at times and unless you have more experience with such things (like Camilla or Ecatarina), then it's safer to just write everyone off as treacherous. However, this spilled over into his personal life and resulted in him becoming very antisocial; preferring solitary activities and generally not enjoying spending long periods of time with others (which doesn't mix well with Camilla's doting). General rule of thumb; he's more antisocial than Azura, but she has the bigger trust issues.

-Leo however, does legitimately want a deeper and more meaningful relationship with his siblings and subordinates, but he becomes very irritable and snarky when he has to spend long periods of time in their proximity, so he essentially has to force himself to be in their presence sometimes.

-Leo inherited his mothers intellect, but not her love for science. Leo's talents lie more in the area of governing countries and strategy. But, realistically speaking, he could be a genius in any area that he wants, he just chooses to focus on those areas because those are the ones he enjoys the most. His preferred weapon (tomes) was chosen because he likes to be recognised for his talents. Xander and Camilla were already very talented physical fighters (Kamui doesn't count because he wasn't that good at fighting until shortly before the game-events start. I'll talk about that latter though), so he specialised in magic because he believed that he wouldn't be able to equal either of them as physical fighters.

-As a last note, Leo (just like Kamui) isn't considered attractive by Nohrian standards because Nohrian men are expected to be very ruggedly handsome and muscular, while Leo has a lot of feminine features and is rather waifish in physique. I mostly mentioned this because I mentioned standards of beauty in Camilla's bio and Leo is mentioned to be very feminine looking, so this is for the sake of attention-to-detail more than anything else.

[spoiler=Elise]

-Elise is the heart of the family and is more than capable of cheering up the others when they're having a bad day (yes, even Leo, although he'd rather bite hos own tongue off than admit it). The relationship Garon had with her mother was a primarily emotional one; when Garon was worn down from a long day or stressed/frustrated, she was the one who would greet him with a warm smile, a cup of his favourite tea and let him rest his head in her lap and rant about what a horrible day he had. She's also the one he can be said to have 'loved' in the most in the traditional sense of the word.

-However, her family is one that is highly prone to hereditary mental instability (it's a very well-kept secret however, so nobody outside of the house knows about it) so, in as few words as possible, she became the Tharja to Garon's Robin; she was very obsessively devoted to him and despised the other concubines for 'tainting' their relationship, although she was very good at hiding it (usually).

-As a result, she flipped out when Garon 'married' Shenmei and made it openly clear that she despised her (she got a bit more leeway than others would've because she was his favourite). While she openly didn't like Shenmei, she was merely passive-aggressive when it came to antagonising her personally because Shenmei would easily win in a fight. She was however, a ring-leader in making Azura's life miserable (details about that will come latter). She was the second to last casualties of the Waifu Wars and was slain by Camilla (guess how).

-However, while her love for Garon was very apparent, she has significantly less affection for Elise. The only time she ever displayed any motherly affection for Elise was when Garon was there to see it and was very negligent otherwise, with her personal maid becoming a surrogate mother figure for Elise.

-Anyway, Elise was the least affected by the Waifu Wars and recognises that her siblings have a lot emotional issues resulting from it. She helps them by trying to come across as endlessly energetic and cheerful (which she is, she just exaggerates it whenever they're around), as he sheer joyful energy and optimism can cheer them up when they're in melancholic moods. However, this has led to all of them being very, very, very protective of her, to the point where "Go check on Elise for me" is one of the most commonly orders given to their retainers. This annoys her a lot, with one of the most frequent causes of sibling spats being on whether or not Elise can look after herself.

-One example of this was Elise wanting Camilla to teach her how to use tomes. Camilla obviously didn't want that, so she said that she'd teach her how once she bonded with Svanhilde (Elise's prf weapon), but has continued to make excuses for why she can't for almost an entire year after she had.

-And I'm pretty sure I was going to mention something else, but I don't remember what it is. Maybe I'll remember latter.

These sound pretty good. Some questions/comments:

1: Why Leon looks rather slim and less physically inclined, Marx also has a "pretty boy face" so the beauty standard seems a little informed. There are also a lot of male mages in Nohr so one would think that bookish wouldn't lose out to beefcake in terms of respected gender roles/images. Or maybe I'm reading too deep about a correlation to classes and physical appearance...

2. Does Elise know that Camilla killed her mom? Even if they weren't close, that's pretty significant for how their (Camilla and Elise) relationship would play out.

3. What is up with these poison potatoes? I feel like half the casualties in the story are caused by these.

So, I've been thinking of spinning Touma as a composite of the Cradles of Civilization (for humans anyway) in the Yellow River and Fertile Crescent. It's occurred to me it might be a dandy idea to try to bridge the gap between the Western and and Eastern cultures.

What exactly would you do with that?

Edited November 20, 2015 by NekoKnight