In which blah the Prussian blind reacts to FE Fates: Conquest

[Zerosabers]

Do lol rescue if you can.

Can't wait for you to finish, I'll just quote reddit!me on what I felt like at the end of it all.

I'VE SEEN MORE ENGAGING PLOT FROM FUCKING TELETUBBIES

[Redwall]

One tactic that players like Gwimpage and Chiki have employed is to use Entrap to move an enemy out of the way to facilitate a fast clear. This makes things especially easy if you're willing to sacrifice units.

[NekoKnight]

Thinking about changing it from day one would have been cool, but I'd have also been okay if Corrin decided to find a way to change it despite having no plan if that lack of plan hadn't involved going right back to Garon and becoming his puppet. It might've been okay for a few chapters while Corrin established a power base, but for the entire campaign just made it obvious how much the story itself had to force basically everything to stop Corrin from ever being able to logic (and I feel like the whole story justifying it is more it trying to justify its own railroading by saying "See? See? Corrin was right. We totally didn't ruin the plot!"). Like, I was totally blind going into this and expecting that we might end up with something like Suikoden I where the protagonist finds a bunch of rebels and joins up with them. And the game almost made this look like it was happening. Two chapters into Conquest, Corrin meets the Ice Tribe and secures their allegiance, then... the game promptly forgets about them forever. Completely missed opportunity. Corrin then acquires the power of the Rainbow Sage and meets up with yet another rebel cell. This is totally the perfect time to unite the dissidents and bring their newfound power to bear against Garon (and directly opposing Garon would add more weight to the reservations of Garon still being the Nohrian siblings' father), right? No, the story says Corrin has to stay Garon's plaything because reasons.

[spoiler=Revelation]

That's basically what happens in Revelation. He doesn't have any plan whatsoever but he at least as the smart idea of not going bad to Garon. Revelations is the "what if Kamui and Azura weren't morons" route.

[Dark Sage]

[spoiler=Revelation]

That's basically what happens in Revelation. He doesn't have any plan whatsoever but he at least as the smart idea of not going bad to Garon. Revelations is the "what if Kamui and Azura weren't morons" route.

They attack both armies and are utterly shocked when Hoshido and Nohr brand them as traitors in response. They're still total dumbfucks.

[Time the Crestfallen]

They attack both armies and are utterly shocked when Hoshido and Nohr brand them as traitors in response. They're still total dumbfucks.

Of course they are. If every character acted logically, the plot as it is written couldn't exist. Gotta keep the plot on IntSys' rails!

[NekoKnight]

They attack both armies and are utterly shocked when Hoshido and Nohr brand them as traitors in response. They're still total dumbfucks.

I should have said "they didn't act like total morons". They did go straight to Valla after fleeing the battle, which is a hell of a lot smarter than what they did in Conquest.

[Thane]

I should have said "they didn't act like total morons". They did go straight to Valla after fleeing the battle, which is a hell of a lot smarter than what they did in Conquest.

I wish someone took a photo of me when I was reading the dialogue before that chapter. It pretty much guaranteed that I wouldn't enjoy Revelation either story-wise.

[Kuroi Tsubasa Tenshi]

Well, that many spoiler blocks sure isn't ominous. >.> I haven't even started Revelation yet, so I'll have to take a rain cheque. Can someone give me a chapter number for when it would be safe to look at these?

[Thane]

Well, that many spoiler blocks sure isn't ominous. >.> I haven't even started Revelation yet, so I'll have to take a rain cheque. Can someone give me a chapter number for when it would be safe to look at these?

Around chapter seven.

The dialogue before that chapter made me actually say "hang on, what?" out loud, and I don't think a game has ever caused me to do that before.

[blah the Prussian]

Wow. Just... wow. I never expected that the story would get quite so bad. This is definitely Nohrian revisionist history. Well, here we go.

-Well, I've already said most of the ways that the scene with Takumi, Mikoto, and Ryoma is shit. Here are some of the ways, however, that I have neglected to mention. Well, here they are:

-How long has it been since Ryoma died, a couple of hours? He seems far too comfortable with that whole "dead" thing. He definitely shouldn't be giving wise advice! Obi Wan at least waited a day before telling Luke to use the force, and he waited years to appear as a ghost! Calm your tits, Ryoma, and wait your turn.

-So when exactly did Takumi die? It couldn't possibly be before Chapter 10, and you'd think his siblings would notice a change. Earlier it was implied to be gradual, but here Takumi makes it seem all sudden.

-What the fuck convinced Takumi to forgive Corrin? Was it when he watched from heaven as Corrin did nothing to stop the massacre of innocent villagers? Or maybe it was how Corrin did nothing to stop the massacre of POWs. Oh wait, silly me, it obviously actually was how Corrin did nothing to stop the massacre of innocent residents of Shiragashi! Wow, silly me!

-What motive could the spirit possessing Takumi possibly have for committing genocide against Nohrians? How much of Takumi's memories does it have? If its loyal to Takumi's desires, how much of a possession is it, anyway? Why did it want to posses Takumi? WHAT IS THE POINT OF TAKUMI BEING POSSESSED IF HE'S JUST GOING TO DO WHAT HE WAS ALREADY DOING ANYWAY? They really could have explained this whole possession thing better, for both Garon and Takumi.

-The Fujin Yumi: Not only is it a hilariously overpowered bow, it doubles as a repair kit! Available now at IKEA!

-Hey, Lillith's back! I see the writers are trying one final time to pretend that she was a character who actually mattered. For those at home, this is her fourth cutscene total that she's had with Corrin. Boo hoo.

-Where did that goo... stuff come from? That would probably lower the value of Castle Shiragashi in the Real Estate department significantly, Takumi. I hope you're prepared to pay for that!

-Despite pretty much hitting me over the head with the fact that this is NOT Takumi, game still calls Takumi Takumi. As such, so will I.

-So! I've already elaborated on what colossal dicks the designers are for making me restart Chapter 27 all those times. But at least I got to listen to good music doing it. Good god, this endgame theme is phenomenal.

-As Water Mage so kindly pointed out in the snark equivalent of kill stealing, yes, you do fight Takumi Trump by making walls. I guess this time, he did pay for them!

-Man, I went full on Stalin tactics for the endgame. SO I thought I'd dramatize a moment in the endgame that really felt cool to me. Beruka fell quite early on, bravely cutting down one of the sages so that Corrin could live. Selena, Beruka's lesbian lover, was devastated. With a howl of grief, she turned to face the oncoming horde of Faceless. She felt the power of Sol glow within her. So yeah, a pissed off Selena held off basically all the Faceless for this level.

-They just don't make final bosses like they used to. 60 HP? Really? Oh, I'm sure the Fire Dragon, Julius, Ashnard, and Ashera, and, fuck it, even GRIMA, are quaking in their boots.

-So Takumi Trump;'s dead, and that's great, but that kind of doesn't change the fact that there are a bunch of spawn points for weird fire ghost things still there. We just gonna ignore that? Ah, fuck it. I want to be done with this story.

-Did Gunter become a priest while I wasn't looking? Or is it just a proud Nohrian tradition to have the Jeigan crown each King?

-Ah, I see that Xander is using the Soviet definition of "ally" when he refers to Nohr's "alliance" with Hoshido. Oh yeah, its a fully equal partnership, its just that Nohr can bitchslap Hoshido pretty much any time it likes!

-You know, Xander, I'm sure that the soldiers and people of Nohr will be just thrilled that you just granted independence to an unspecified amount of Nohrian territory. Just like the people of Germany were thrilled after the Treaty of Versailles.

-No.

-Fuck no.

-Bull fucking shit.

-They had the balls...

-Okay, okay, I've calmed down. Now that thats out of the way, FUCK! They have the balls to have Hinoka and Sakura be here and be all "oh, thanks for conquering us!" This once again could have been an interesting scene had the siblings been pissed, but it looks like just another day's work for the Corrin dick sucking brigade! I mean, the game makes no attempt to, for example, develop Sakura's character after her captivity. Just... good god.

-Also, wasn't Hinoka spotted by the Nohrians, which was why Iago attacked Corrin in the first place? Are you seriously telling me she escaped the entire Nohrian army undetected, after being spotted?

-I hate this ending, I really do. For a game that trie to be all dark, it sure is an unrealistic solution to a complex issue! I mean, the Israelis and Palestinians wont just wake up one day and decide to stop fighting. This ending makes a mockery of how the world works.

Well, there we go. The story is over with. My final thoughts on the game, and the story, will be up tomorrow; what I liked, what I disliked, and all that jazz. This will be the last you see of my wonderful snakiness, though, until the now confirmed In Which blah the Prussian Blindly Reacts to FE Fates: Revelation, available on this forum whenever I finish both Radiant Historia and Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam. Until then, though, thanks for reading!

Edited May 2, 2016 by blah the Prussian

[Thane]

This ending makes a mockery of how the world works.

Put that on a shirt.

[Kuroi Tsubasa Tenshi]

-How long has it been since Ryoma died, a couple of hours? He seems far too comfortable with that whole "dead" thing. He definitely shouldn't be giving wise advice! Obi Wan at least waited a day before telling Luke to use the force, and he waited years to appear as a ghost! Calm your tits, Ryoma, and wait your turn.

Objection: Ryoma's got nothing on Obi. Obi told Luke to run about 20 seconds after his death.

-So when exactly did Takumi die? It couldn't possibly be before Chapter 10, and you'd think his siblings would notice a change. Earlier it was implied to be gradual, but here Takumi makes it seem all sudden.

See: Birthright (yes, the seriously didn't bother to explain it in Conquest, but did in Birthright; conversely, some stuff in Birthright that Conquest explains never gets explained there).

-So! I've already elaborated on what colossal dicks the designers are for making me restart Chapter 27 all those times. But at least I got to listen to good music doing it. Good god, this endgame theme is phenomenal.

Out of curiosity, do you consider the Blazing Sword devs dicks too?

-They just don't make final bosses like they used to. 60 HP? Really? Oh, I'm sure the Fire Dragon, Julius, Ashnard, and Ashera, and, fuck it, even GRIMA, are quaking in their boots.

Well, he has 65 and more Def/Res on Hard, as well as 75 on Lunatic. While he is a bit wimpy overall, his goons more than make up for it, especially on higher difficulties.

Well, there we go. The story is over with. My final thoughts on the game, and the story, will be up tomorrow; what I liked, what I disliked, and all that jazz. This will be the last you see of my wonderful snakiness, though, until the now confirmed In Which blah the Prussian Blindly Reacts to FE Fates: Revelation, available on this forum whenever I finish both Radiant Historia and Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam. Until then, though, thanks for reading!

Thanks for doing this. It was quite enjoyable, especially the parts where you used historical references for snark.

[Water Mage]

So, I'm the snark equivalent of Ryoma?

I can live with that!

Story aside, did you enjoy the gameplay?

[blah the Prussian]

So, I'm the snark equivalent of Ryoma?

I can live with that!

Story aside, did you enjoy the gameplay?

The gameplay was phenomenal. I'll sum up tomorrow.

Objection: Ryoma's got nothing on Obi. Obi told Luke to run about 20 seconds after his death.

Bah, foiled again!

See: Birthright (yes, the seriously didn't bother to explain it in Conquest, but did in Birthright; conversely, some stuff in Birthright that Conquest explains never gets explained there).

Well thats just bad storytelling right there. The story of each version should stand alone.

Out of curiosity, do you consider the Blazing Sword devs dicks too?

No, because in Blazing sword you just have to fight the dragon; the Dragon level isn't a full fledged level, its more like the true boss of the Chapter appearing. Conquest's endgame is very much an actual level.

Thanks for doing this. It was quite enjoyable, especially the parts where you used historical references for snark.

Glad to hear it; I am after all possibly the official history buff of SF as proclaimed by Shuuda.

[Nanima]

-So when exactly did Takumi die? It couldn't possibly be before Chapter 10, and you'd think his siblings would notice a change. Earlier it was implied to be gradual, but here Takumi makes it seem all sudden.

-What motive could the spirit possessing Takumi possibly have for committing genocide against Nohrians? How much of Takumi's memories does it have? If its loyal to Takumi's desires, how much of a possession is it, anyway? Why did it want to posses Takumi? WHAT IS THE POINT OF TAKUMI BEING POSSESSED IF HE'S JUST GOING TO DO WHAT HE WAS ALREADY DOING ANYWAY? They really could have explained this whole possession thing better, for both Garon and Takumi.

1) It's never stated, but I guess the implication (at least in the japanese version) is that Takumi died after being forced to jump off the wall in chapter 23. His death was the last step in gaining full possession over his body it seemed to me.

2) Find out more in Revelations!!!1 Ka-ching.

-

[Book Bro]

RD gets criticized for wrapping everything up too nearly in the ending, which I understand but never got too bothered with, but these games just took that to a whole other level.

As someone who thinks Revelation is the worst path, I'm curious to see what you'll think of it. Did/will you play Birthright too?

[Nintales]

-Also, wasn't Hinoka spotted by the Nohrians, which was why Iago attacked Corrin in the first place? Are you seriously telling me she escaped the entire Nohrian army undetected, after being spotted?

She's Hinokopter after all. How can you kill that kind of thing?

Edited May 2, 2016 by Nintales

[RedRob]

She's Hinokopter after all. How can you kill that kind of thing?

Air magic, bows, all those turrets in My castle, throwable weapons, aerial units.

I'm more inclined to think the capture mechanic was used on her. That or she's a hallucination brought on by Corrin's feelings of guilt. That's probably what Mikoto and the others were. Guilt-induced hallucinations.

-Ah, I see that Xander is using the Soviet definition of "ally" when he refers to Nohr's "alliance" with Hoshido. Oh yeah, its a fully equal partnership, its just that Nohr can bitchslap Hoshido pretty much any time it likes!

Well, he was originally named Marx after all.

[blah the Prussian]

RD gets criticized for wrapping everything up too nearly in the ending, which I understand but never got too bothered with, but these games just took that to a whole other level.

As someone who thinks Revelation is the worst path, I'm curious to see what you'll think of it. Did/will you play Birthright too?

I don't think I'll do Birthright, because I've already played some of it.

[eclipse]

-The Fujin Yumi: Not only is it a hilariously overpowered bow, it doubles as a repair kit! Available now at IKEA!

It also allows the wielder to walk on anything, too. . .and it's kinda screwy, so yeah, definitely from IKEA~!

-Where did that goo... stuff come from? That would probably lower the value of Castle Shiragashi in the Real Estate department significantly, Takumi. I hope you're prepared to pay for that!

Takumi Trump is dead. Since he's dead, things like the price of real estate don't bother him. He's being true to himself~!

-They just don't make final bosses like they used to. 60 HP? Really? Oh, I'm sure the Fire Dragon, Julius, Ashnard, and Ashera, and, fuck it, even GRIMA, are quaking in their boots.

Did you ever let his glowing attack hit people? Because that MORE than makes up for it.

-You know, Xander, I'm sure that the soldiers and people of Nohr will be just thrilled that you just granted independence to an unspecified amount of Nohrian territory. Just like the people of Germany were thrilled after the Treaty of Versailles.

To the game's credit, it actually mentions that there's people who are unhappy with Xander. Who would've thunk?!

-Okay, okay, I've calmed down. Now that thats out of the way, FUCK! They have the balls to have Hinoka and Sakura be here and be all "oh, thanks for conquering us!" This once again could have been an interesting scene had the siblings been pissed, but it looks like just another day's work for the Corrin dick sucking brigade! I mean, the game makes no attempt to, for example, develop Sakura's character after her captivity. Just... good god.

-I hate this ending, I really do. For a game that trie to be all dark, it sure is an unrealistic solution to a complex issue! I mean, the Israelis and Palestinians wont just wake up one day and decide to stop fighting. This ending makes a mockery of how the world works.

To be fair, they got their kingdom back, and Corrin stepped in to save their lives. Not being a dick to him is the least the game can do.

There's an argument regarding puppet rulers in Hoshido, which would be interesting, if the devs feel like milking Fates further. Also, Hinoka's gonna have a rough road ahead of her, if her supports are any indication (not because of who she is personally, but what she talks about).

Well, there we go. The story is over with. My final thoughts on the game, and the story, will be up tomorrow; what I liked, what I disliked, and all that jazz. This will be the last you see of my wonderful snakiness, though, until the now confirmed In Which blah the Prussian Blindly Reacts to FE Fates: Revelation, available on this forum whenever I finish both Radiant Historia and Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam. Until then, though, thanks for reading!

When you finish Revelations, I want you to quote this bit, put it at the end of Revelations, and then compare/contrast how the two games ended. Mostly for my own amusement.

Congratulations on finishing~!

[blah the Prussian]

Okay, as promised, final thoughts:

The good:

Do I really need to say the gameplay? This is one of the best FE games in the series in terms of map design. My two favorite Chapters are Chapter 10, for being the most euphorically difficult thing I've played in FE history, and Chapter 25, for how atmospheric it is. Besides the map design, infinite use weapons was, in my mind, the right move. I used to hate getting characters with really powerful weapons and then not using those weapons until the endgame. It also removes Boss Abuse as a viable strategy, which is good as Boss Abuse should die. The music, too, is amazing, especially Lost in Thoughts all Alone. Rena Strober's voice there is amazing, and the endgame rendition is awesome too. Finally, some of the characters, particularly Arthur, were quite entertaining. Arthur's voice actor was having a lot of fun, you can tell.

The bad:

Well gee, I wonder what I'm going to put here. Yep, the story of Conquest is shit. It has no idea what it wants to be. Is it a dark and edgy story, or an idealistic story where the hero doesn't kill anyone. It has basically everyone acting like complete morons, and, of course, the Corrin dick sucking brigade is an ever present menace. I would go so far as to say the story is the worst story in FE history. Besides the story, the RNG is a fucking dick, and the endgame is a motherfucker as well. These are the only real complaints I have, though.

So despite all my harping on the story, savvy readers will notice that Fates Conquest is my favorite FE game. This is true. The gameplay is the most important element of any game, and at that Conquest excels. I enjoyed this game immensely, and I enjoyed sharing my frustrations in the story with you all. And so, one final time, goodbye. See you at Revelations.

[Water Mage]

I was going to ask you about the music, but so glad you enjoyed it! One of the things I liked about Conquest's music was the music from Chapters 22, 23 and 24, the chapters you fought Sakura, Takumi and Hinoka. The map music for those chapters felt very climatic, like you were doing something wrong but you had no choice, and you were witnessing the fall of a kingdom. What about you blah? Did you get the same vide from the map theme of those chapters?

If you didn't play all of Birthright, try playing it until the end or at least of videos of it's story. The ending feels much more fufiling. Also, Birthright's endgame also have an afterlife scene, but it's so much better used.

It felt like Corrin was finally growing up, leaving his past behind.

Actually, it felt like a coming of age event, from a child to an adult.

Maybe I shouldn't be asking this in this thread, but for those that played both routes, which "afterlife" scene was better?

Edited May 3, 2016 by Water Mage

[blah the Prussian]

I was going to ask you about the music, but so glad you enjoyed it! One of the things I liked about Conquest's music was the music from Chapters 22, 23 and 24, the chapters you fought Sakura, Takumi and Hinoka. The map music for those chapters felt very climatic, like you were doing something wrong but you had no choice, and you were witnessing the fall of a kingdom. What about you blah? Did you get the same vide from the map theme of those chapters?

If you didn't play all of Birthright, try playing it until the end or at least of videos of it's story. The ending feels much more fufiling. Also, Birthright's endgame also have an afterlife scene, but it's so much better used.

It felt like Corrin was finally growing up, leaving his past behind.

Actually, it felt like a coming of age event, from a child to an adult.

Maybe I shouldn't be asking this in this thread, but for those that played both routes, which "afterlife" scene was better?

Yeah, that was my second favorite map theme. I like the music in Conquest in general, but that did stand out. The music in Conquest is actually mostly from instruments used in the Roman and Byzantine Empires.

[Tolvir]

Yeah, that was my second favorite map theme. I like the music in Conquest in general, but that did stand out. The music in Conquest is actually mostly from instruments used in the Roman and Byzantine Empires.

I always got a more Celtic feel from the Conquest music to be honest, but interesting to know that. Wonder what made them go with that decision. It would be nice if we got some commentary or something from the composer of Fates music, and why they made the choices they did with it.

Have a question for something I didnt see you go over, how did you like the non-story important characters? The ones like Nyx, Keaton, Benny, Charlotte, etc. And how did you like the supports? While Conquest's story was definitely not great by any stretch of the imagination, I did enjoy quite a few of the characters and thought some of the supports were really well done.

and I am also curious about what characters you used.

Edited May 3, 2016 by Tolvir

[The DanMan]

Yeah, that was my second favorite map theme. I like the music in Conquest in general, but that did stand out. The music in Conquest is actually mostly from instruments used in the Roman and Byzantine Empires.

Like Tolvir, Conquest gave off a bit more of a Celtic feel- though maybe the Roman empire rubbed off of on them, so what is generally recognized as Celtic in nature originated in Rome.