Tryhard Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 (edited) japanese What country has the honor to say that part of their homeland is basically godly spunk? Well, Japan does. The story of Japan’s creation is the god Izanagi pushed his “jewel encrusted spear” into “the primal ooze of our planet” and, when pulling out, “spilled a salty substance” that created the Japanese island of Onogoro. If you can’t spot the innuendo there, don’t worry, it only gets less subtle from here. The story goes that when Izanagi finally decided to stop metaphorically “raping” the underage Earth below, he took his soon-to-be wife Izanami and descended on the huge island of dried ejaculate where they married and settled. After having sex on Spunk Island the woman gave birth to eight more Japanese islands. Izanami continued to get pregnant and squeezed out more babies into the world. One of them was Homusubi (Kagututi), the incarnation of fire. A literal fireball. Learning first hand that fire is hot, Izanami suffered the worst burning sensation down there… and basically everywhere. Being horribly burned from the inside she suffered agony for a couple of days, losing complete control of her bodily functions (what kind of gods are they?), vomiting, urinating and shitting uncontrollably. Her dying spasms of bodily functions gave birth to new gods, a pair for each substance that flew out of her body: The Vomit Gods: Kanayamahiko, Kanayamahime The Urine Gods: Mitsuha no me, Wakumusubi The Feces Gods: Haniyasuhiko, Haniyasuhime also mayan The myth of Maya creation as recorded in the Popul Vuh starts with One Ahuapu (the first father) walking past the mouth of a cave. The gods of the underworld call out to him and invite him to come down and play a ball game. He takes the bait and descends into the darkness, where the gods immediately behead him. They hang his severed head in a Calabash tree. Shortly thereafter, the daughter of one of the gods walks by and stops and speaks to the hanging head. The head spits into her hand. Naturally she becomes pregnant, and is banished from the underworld. In due course she gives birth to twin boys (the Hero Twins). They grow into strong young lads. After hearing the story about their father, the Hero Twins decide to go in search of him. They find the mouth of the cave (Xibalba), challenge the gods to a ball game, and win. Then thru a series of tricks in which one brother kills the other and then brings him back to life, followed by the second brother repeating the performance, the gods are dumbfounded. Finally, one said "Can you do that for me?". "Sure" said the twins, at which point they dutifully stepped forward to fulfill the god's request, and slayed him. Then, instead of bringing him back to life, they resurrect their long dead father and head for the surface. The father, following the twins, sees corn along the trail, and takes an ear. As they reach the surface, the Hero Twins pass thru Xibalba and rise into the sky to become the Sun and Moon. The father emerges from the cave as the God of Maize, and is greeted by the first sunrise of the Maya world. All Maya everywhere believe that they are the descendants of that one ear of corn. That is the definition of who is a Maya and who is not. Somewhere in the Maya world tonight an old man will gather young children around a fire and tell them this story, as it has been told for over 5000 years. Scenes from it are found in Maya art from the very earliest examples. It is a fundamental piece of the Maya culture, mythology, and religion. It is the most important piece of literature ever produced in the western hemisphere, and is generally unknown. Edited October 8, 2016 by Tryhard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serpent of Sheol Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 I've always been partial to Norse mythology, so... That. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiac Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 (edited) Pastafarian creation myth. Context: Flying Spaghetti Monster. Ramen I say to you. Day 1 Water was separated from the heavens Day 2 His Noodly Goodness was tired of swimming and created land Day 2 In complement to earth he also created a beer volcano and stripper factory in heaven. Day 3 While drunk from the beer volcano he created a "midget" which became man. Soon after He created women and they lived peacefully in the Olive Garden of Eden. Until he flooded the world in a cooking accident. Edited October 8, 2016 by Jiegg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NinjaMonkey Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 The Ancient Egyptian one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 The one involving God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chen Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 corn QOTD 1017 - What is your favorite paradox? submitted by egg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C. Turtle Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Zeno's "Achilles and the tortoise" paradox. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Zeno's "Achilles and the tortoise" paradox. for real though has anyone, like, solved this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Monty Hall problem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balcerzak Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Einstein Podolsky Rosen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NinjaMonkey Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 The Twin's Paradox. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Specta Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serpent of Sheol Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 hempel's ravens, probably alternatively, the elevator paradox is hilariously stupid and i love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
___ Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Humanity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Grandfather paradox? I don't know too much about these. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koneko Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 newcomb's paradox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chen Posted October 10, 2016 Author Share Posted October 10, 2016 the fact that things can be both sexy and cute that's CRAZY QOTD 1018 - favourite flavour ice cream? submitted by the cutest sf member ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedi Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Mint Chocolate Chip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Green tea followed by Strawberry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Karnage Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 vanilla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ein Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 vanilla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 vanilla, but shoutout to coffee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheEnd Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 vanilla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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