Shuuda Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 (edited) If I can't post feedback here, then I believe I have the rights to call off feedback for my stories as well. I did nothing wrong. You already posted your feedback, which I already took to account and thanked you for. But your recent posts have clearly been provocative, with hints of insults. Instead of addressing what Lachesis and I said, you go on a zealous rampage to call me out as bad, over typos. Edited February 19, 2009 by Shuuda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deity Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 You already posted your feedback, which I already took to account and thanked you for. But your recent posts have clearly been provocative, with hints of insults. Instead of addressing what Lachesis and I said, you go a zealous rampage to call me out as bad, over typos. No, you did not take it into account, rather you hid behind lachesis and said something that went along the line of my point outs being incorrect. Anyway Shuuda, I see that people here tend to take me as if I am flaming when I aint, you people just over react. This is the last time I give feedback to you, and I do hope you improve on all the things I pointed out to you, you need the help. As to me, please respect my decision whether I want feedback or not. I was just making a point that you cant take feedback very well either. Good day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 (edited) No, you did not take it into account, rather you hid behind lachesis and said something that went along the line of my point outs being incorrect. I never said everything you said was wrong. I said that I edited anything I did not respond to... did you read the post? I was just making a point that you cant take feedback very well either. Good day. Yeah, I take it really badly. That's why I edit my work... because I cannot accept that was something wrong with it. Edited February 19, 2009 by Shuuda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deity Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 This has been fixed in the latest edit with what you pointed out. But feel free to point out some other examples. Actually, I went back to reading your edited version. Guess what, many of your mistakes are still there, but I am not going to point them out. Take for example: Galving was sat It should be Galving was sitting You didn't edit that. There are others but I will not go over all of them. I never said everything you said was wrong. I said that I edited anything I did not respond to... did you read the post?Yeah, I take it really badly. That's why I edit my work... because I cannot accept that was something wrong with it. *Shakes head* You just fix what you think deserves to be fixed up, but you still left out many errors unfixed. I did read it. And so now I come to the conclusion to say this to you: We both know we aint perfect, we both need help. As to my case with wanting feedback or not, you probably know why I don't want any feedback. I want to avoid trouble like this. As I have said before in my story threads, I know I will make mistakes, but I will find them on my own. I don't need people pointing them out to me, especially when people tend to do it in a bad way. So surely I will find them and correct them, and in the future avoid them, which I have. Moreover, you have ridiculed my work before, I have ridiculed yours. You have called my work crap, I have called yours something along that line. You have said my work will never get published, I agree, by the looks of it neither will yours. I need help, so do you. In different ways but we do. I call this Shuuda/Löki feedback war over. We are just making fools out of ourselves and I want that to end, despite what you might think. Improve on what you think needs improving, as will I. Just remember that we all have different views and writing styles. My style will never be like yours and vice versa. --When I actually post something up, there wont be any feedback, and anyone is free to read it, why would I post it up if I did not want people to read it? What you should know is that many of the crappy stories I wrote was just self inserts, nothing serious to be honest if you ask me. And so now, truly, I bid my adieu. Good luck in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 (edited) "Galving was sat" is perfectly fine. It says the same thing as your suggestion, but quicker. *Shakes head* You just fix what you think deserves to be fixed up, but you still left out many errors unfixed. Despite what you believe, you are not always right. I am allowed to challenge what you say, and since you have yet to argue with the points that Lachesis and I presented, you have yet to prove your correctness. I fixed anything that I could argue against. We both know we aint perfect, we both need help. I know I will make mistakes, That is not what you said in the feedback thread for your story.I could bring out a whole stack of quotes from your feedback threads if you want. Your false modesty is unconvincing. Edited February 19, 2009 by Shuuda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bohemund Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 (edited) "Galving was sat" is perfectly fine. It says the same thing as your suggestion, but quicker. The phrase was sat is always incorrect. Depending on verb tense, it'b be correct to use either sitting or seated in sat's stead. However, if you simply removed was, then you give Galvin the action of sitting. Use whichever verb tense best suits your story. Edited February 19, 2009 by Bohemund Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 (edited) Fair enough, it's been changed to "Galvin sat on a wooden chair in the corner". However, purely for the sake of argument in my defence: Surely, in modern English colloquial usage, "She was sat on the floor" is perfectly acceptable as a passive form, meaning "Somebody put her into a sitting position on the floor." Thereafter, clearly, "She was sitting on the floor" of her own volition, as it were.In another context, one might find, "The wedding ushers sat guests in church according to whether they were from the bride's side or the groom's." There's nothing whatever wrong with either! colloquial usage involves "correct grammar" just as much as formal English does...it's just that it isn't quite the same grammar! but as informal usage becomes accepted as "proper" usage, it may come to be accepted , at least in British English, if not American English. These quotes suggest that "was sat" is an acceptable colloquialism. Edited February 19, 2009 by Shuuda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bohemund Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 The first example about the girl had it's meaning changed when was sat was given the meaning was placed. I still would use seated in that case to keep the author's original intent. I cannot argue about the sentence involving ushers, though. However, that isn't your intended use of the word. You wanted Galvin to sit on his own, with no direction or aid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 (edited) You wanted Galvin to sit on his own, with no direction or aid. Remember the context of the scene. The guard might of made him sit there. Perhaps not physically, but by ordering him to do so. Therefore, it is interpretable that Galvin is not sat on the chair entirely by free will. I have changed the sentence like you suggested regardless, since that interpretation might not be clear. Edited February 19, 2009 by Shuuda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bohemund Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 (edited) Remember the context of the scene. The guard might of made him sit there. Perhaps not physically, but by ordering him to do so. This is where I must apologize once again for not actually reading your story. My statements were purely based on what I saw here. When I finally read your story, I'll be sure to come back to this. ____ EDIT: Actually, this just came to mind: colloquial While this word deems your grammar correct, stories and books should be written formally, not informally (unless a character is speaking). Edited February 19, 2009 by Bohemund Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 (edited) While this word deems your grammar correct, stories and books should be written formally, not informally (unless a character is speaking). True, true. I changed it anyway, I just thought it would make for an interesting discussion. To be frank, it was rather pleasant. P.S: I warn against a certain someone giving some kind of smug "victory" or degrading remark. Edited February 19, 2009 by Shuuda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agro Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Loki, just don't post here anymore. Get off your high horse and realize that it's time for you to stop. Holy shit, I love this guy. They are not questionable, Lachesis just came to your defense to sweeten things up.And you have flamed me by calling me ingnorant and whatnot. But fret not, it's not the first time you say something flammative. Good luck with all the editing. In my defense oh the irony, I'd like to say I wasn't trying to "sweeten" anything. If I see something is wrong, then it's wrong, and I like to point it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bohemund Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 True, true. I changed it anyway, I just thought it would make for an interesting discussion. To be frank, it was rather pleasant.P.S: I warn against a certain someone giving some kind of smug "victory" or degrading remark. A logical discussion between two individuals is most pleasant. It's a shame it rarely happens. If anyone were to break into a victory dance, it'd have to be me. Afterall, I did produce flawless logic to back my claims. Oh... and I framed that fourth one. It's nice to have an even batch. It's just like a new set of coffee mugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balcerzak Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Damn but these are long chapters. Comments on the first chunk of the first chapter included in the 7zip archive of the Open Office document file stored at the link below. While the archive itself is not password protected, I've made it so that in order to download it from MediaFire you need to enter a password, "Shuuda" (no quotes), to prevent unintentional or unwanted dissemination of your work. http://www.mediafire.com/file/xorrjyerzoe/...icEditsPart1.7z I've made liberal use of the "Track Changes" and "Notes" features. If you find such form of feedback helpful, I will continue to do so. If you would prefer more conventional feedback, let me know. There are some changes I didn't include mention of the reasons for, feel free to ask if it's unclear. For determining whether something is a word or not (e.g. ungentlemanlike), I default to checking the OED online, but since that's subscription based (and I get in due to my University) it's hard to link to the results, so when possible I use a random other online dictionary to corroborate. If you cannot access the file, due to software compatibility or other issues, let me know and I'll try to find some other way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted February 28, 2009 Author Share Posted February 28, 2009 Thanks a lot Balcerzak, that was certain;y helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 Update (16/03/09): Chapter ten has been added. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted June 10, 2009 Author Share Posted June 10, 2009 Update (10/06/09): All chapters that were deleted by the backup have been added again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted June 30, 2009 Author Share Posted June 30, 2009 Update (30/06/09): Chapter thirteen added. Enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 Update (28/10/09): Chapter Seventeen is up. The proof reading is probably shoddy because I've been a bit busy with uni work. On a another note, I believe I have crossed the 100,000 word mark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 Update (30/11/09): Chapter Eighteen has been added. Due to a heavy uni workload the quality might be lacking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amelia Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Wow. You're really good. I impress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hekkastor Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 (edited) Interesting and entertaining. I haven't finished it yet, but still, definitely off to a good start. Edited December 18, 2009 by Hekkastor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted August 2, 2010 Author Share Posted August 2, 2010 Well, the second the last chapter is out now. The finale has already been written and will be posted later this month. Forgive me for taking so long to put this up, but due to university I had to put things on hold for a while. Also, I was shy about putting this chapter up since I'm not too pleased with it. I hope you enjoy either way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted August 31, 2010 Author Share Posted August 31, 2010 Update (31/08/10): Final chapter posted. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you've enjoyed reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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