SullyMcGully Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Y'know, where I grew up in Homeschoolerville, saying anything that could be considered vulgar or profane would get you disowned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IEatLasers Posted October 19, 2017 Author Share Posted October 19, 2017 I couldn’t say anything like that in front of my dad. Even if I did actually talk like that and my friends don’t really talk thst way in front of me usually. Only people i hewr say it are the guys I already want to stay away from largely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pengaius Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Language Like that is honestly just used by 11 year olds playing call of duty and that's just as an insult Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 17 hours ago, IEatLasers said: @Ertrick36 not really. My mom left before I turned 3, my teachers I talk to outside of school a tiny bit (most are male anyways) but not serious stuff. Most leaders at my church like, I trust them, but idk some stuff I don’t want to talk about. That's rough, I'm sorry. 7 hours ago, IEatLasers said: Thanks Rezzy ^^ I appreciate it and yeah I’m def not going. Moreso it sucks cuz I thought I was cool but I ain’t lol. If im part of their bets I’ve gotta be like bottom of the barrel gal. Which is fine I suppose just sucks and isn’t what I thought I was at! Also, I think I’m not too into party life. I mean sure around my own house and when I know my dad ain’t coming home for a while I’ll bathe with the door open, or dance weird in my room alone xD But idk doesn’t mean I’d publicly do that stuff. And idk for sure but some kids I think do like REAL drugs there like everyone knows they have weed but some of them I think do other things On the issue of parties, as a rule, don't go unless you have a good group of people you trust with you. If you even have a doubt, don't go. Don't care about being popular, people like that are only looking for one thing, and it's very easy to get drunk, lose your virginity to some random loser and end up regretting it. A person's first thought should be, she's a cool person, I like hanging out with her, maybe we can be friends, and maybe even have sex later. There's no shame in thinking about having a relationship later with somebody, but the "hit it and quit it" mindset all to common in this environment is disgusting. It sounds like these guys are only wanting to see if they can get in your pants. Don't let them. Sex isn't a bad thing, but it should only be for when you're ready and only with someone who you want to have a relationship with. It's old fashioned, but get to know a guy (or girl) before you get in bed with them. I jumped into it too early, and it's one of my biggest regrets. Drugs like weed or alcohol, I've always strayed away from, but if you must, do it in a small group with only a few friends, not at huge parties with dozens of people you don't know. Your judgement will be impaired at the very least, and that can lead to life changing situations that you don't want to deal with. Harder drugs STAY AWAY, young people are not immortal, and can and will die from overdose. I have lost friends to this. Just don't ever start. Sorry if I'm starting to ramble. Your story is just making me think of how I'm going to be when my kids are your age. I hope that helped somewhat. If you ever want to talk to somebody about these sorts of issues and can't think of anybody to reach out to, I can be a good listener. I'm a 31 year old with kids of my own. I may sound ancient to one such as you, but I've been there, so you don't have to feel alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IEatLasers Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 @Rezzythank you...I didn’t mean to bring up scarier thoughts for you like that. I mean I’m in a weird place atm where I kinda just became an adult recently, and I don’t feel exactly up for that but I know that’s what relationships want/expect at my age anyways so I guess idk I’ll figure that’s out. I don’t really even want to do Drugs or drink. Weed I’m curious about but only some of my friends do it and none of them are trying to push me (talking about friends other people are how they are) I’m kinda weird and different from most kids my age though and I can tell that easily enough from school. Actually it has a lot to do with me just becoming an adult a year ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 1 minute ago, IEatLasers said: @Rezzythank you...I didn’t mean to bring up scarier thoughts for you like that. I mean I’m in a weird place atm where I kinda just became an adult recently, and I don’t feel exactly up for that but I know that’s what relationships want/expect at my age anyways so I guess idk I’ll figure that’s out. I don’t really even want to do Drugs or drink. Weed I’m curious about but only some of my friends do it and none of them are trying to push me (talking about friends other people are how they are) I’m kinda weird and different from most kids my age though and I can tell that easily enough from school. Actually it has a lot to do with me just becoming an adult a year ago. Don't feel the need to do anything you don't want to do or aren't ready for. I'm 31 and I've never touched any drugs at all and only very rarely drink. You can have a good time without them. For sex, don't feel rushed to do that at all, I was a virgin when I was your age and didn't lose it until I was in college. Even then, I wish I had waited longer. That being said, it's a wonderful thing in a committed relationship with someone you love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IEatLasers Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 5 minutes ago, Rezzy said: Don't feel the need to do anything you don't want to do or aren't ready for. I'm 31 and I've never touched any drugs at all and only very rarely drink. You can have a good time without them. For sex, don't feel rushed to do that at all, I was a virgin when I was your age and didn't lose it until I was in college. Even then, I wish I had waited longer. That being said, it's a wonderful thing in a committed relationship with someone you love. Thank you. Yeah I won’t do drugs and stuff like it’s totally fine without that stuff... honestly I’m too vain and conceited xD I like my body (mostly) and don’t wanna hurt it for something that isn’t worth it like that. For thaaat. It’s like idk. I never had a date, but if I did I imagine it’s be expected and like better to have sex than lose a good relationship over something abstract like me valuing virginity over my date or something that would probably be offensive I thinks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Karnage Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 (edited) I agree with @Rezzy, I lost my virginity when I was 17, and I kind of regret it, I had only been dating her for about a week but when that opportunity came I was to, well, you know, I didn't think twice about it. LPT, make sure when he uses a rubber he hasn't been carrying it in his wallet for the past two weeks, they dry out and are more likely to snap at the wrong time Edited October 20, 2017 by Captain Karnage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greencapps Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 1 minute ago, IEatLasers said: For thaaat. It’s like idk. I never had a date, but if I did I imagine it’s be expected and like better to have sex than lose a good relationship over something abstract like me valuing virginity over my date or something that would probably be offensive I thinks If they can't deal with not sleeping with you before you're ready than he isn't the right person for you and in all likelihood probably just not a very good person in general. Never feel pressured. If you don't want to he (or she) just has to deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 1 minute ago, IEatLasers said: Thank you. Yeah I won’t do drugs and stuff like it’s totally fine without that stuff... honestly I’m too vain and conceited xD I like my body (mostly) and don’t wanna hurt it for something that isn’t worth it like that. For thaaat. It’s like idk. I never had a date, but if I did I imagine it’s be expected and like better to have sex than lose a good relationship over something abstract like me valuing virginity over my date or something that would probably be offensive I thinks If it's a good relationship, they won't break up with you over wanting to wait to have sex. Just be clear that you aren't ready yet. Stringing along someone would not be nice either, but as long as everyone is up front about everything, they should be fine with waiting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IEatLasers Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 Thanks guys... i knoe in theory it should be like that it’s just that if it’s goint to be hard to date in the first place and find someone and all that then like maybe it’s worth not even mentioning I’m not ready for it in the sake of making compromise. If I could Idk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 5 minutes ago, Captain Karnage said: I agree with @Rezzy, I lost my virginity when I was 17, and I kind of regret it, I had only been dating her for about a week but when that opportunity came I was to, well, you know, I didn't think twice about it. LPT, make sure when he uses a rubber he hasn't been carrying it in his wallet for the past two weeks, they dry out and are more likely to snap at the wrong time Not towards the topic creator or anyone in general, but speaking from personal experience, it's a good idea for girls (and guys, but they already mostly do), if you think it might even be a possibility, carry your own condoms. Don't trust the other person, because they aren't foolproof. I've had them break on me a couple times. Thankfully nothing ever came of it, but it's better to be safe, and if you know they've been kept well, they are less likely to rupture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Res Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 1 hour ago, SullyMcGully said: Y'know, where I grew up in Homeschoolerville, saying anything that could be considered vulgar or profane would get you disowned. I struggle with language; I find a lot of people who are anti-swearing will use all kinds of gendered, racist and ableist language with impunity. 8 minutes ago, IEatLasers said: Thanks guys... i knoe in theory it should be like that it’s just that if it’s goint to be hard to date in the first place and find someone and all that then like maybe it’s worth not even mentioning I’m not ready for it in the sake of making compromise. If I could Idk. Don't do yourself down! You won't have to compromise with the right person, and you shouldn't have to compromise (at least on anything important. Of course I compromise all the time on things like 'what shall we eat tonight'). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 10 minutes ago, IEatLasers said: Thanks guys... i knoe in theory it should be like that it’s just that if it’s goint to be hard to date in the first place and find someone and all that then like maybe it’s worth not even mentioning I’m not ready for it in the sake of making compromise. If I could Idk. Dates will come, it's not something you have to bring up right away. Just at the end of the night, if they invite you back to their place, at that point, just let them know you aren't ready for that sort of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nym Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 This thread turned into something interesting to say the least XD At least I don't feel bad being girlfriendless as I used too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chen Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 try finding a guardian force on SF worked for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IEatLasers Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 1 minute ago, Chen said: try finding a guardian force on SF worked for me Guardian force? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IEatLasers Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 4 minutes ago, Nym said: This thread turned into something interesting to say the least XD At least I don't feel bad being girlfriendless as I used too I know I’m embarrassed...sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 7 minutes ago, Nym said: This thread turned into something interesting to say the least XD At least I don't feel bad being girlfriendless as I used too You're still young. Don't worry, just focus on being you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nym Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 4 minutes ago, IEatLasers said: I know I’m embarrassed...sorry Why do you apologize? XD At least I could see some great advices from Rezzy. 1 minute ago, Rezzy said: You're still young. Don't worry, just focus on being you. Yeah no worries, it's just sometimes difficult when you see your best friend with his gf. On another note, people calling you nurse is kind of dumb. Hell, I think doctor that are women are by far less scary and more kind that men. Especially helped when I went to the hospital when I was a kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IEatLasers Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 14 minutes ago, Rezzy said: Dates will come, it's not something you have to bring up right away. Just at the end of the night, if they invite you back to their place, at that point, just let them know you aren't ready for that sort of thing. Umm truth is I’m kinda picky in who I’d date, and so the pool is kinda smaller plus irl only my dad and best friend Claire and another girl know-but I like girls, and I only admitted it irl cuz I thought the last person I mentioned liked me but she didn’t Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 2 minutes ago, IEatLasers said: Umm truth is I’m kinda picky in who I’d date, and so the pool is kinda smaller plus irl only my dad and best friend Claire and another girl know-but I like girls, and I only admitted it irl cuz I thought the last person I mentioned liked me but she didn’t That will limit your dating pool a bit, but it still happens, and my advice still applies. I'm bi and have dated more girls than otherwise. When I was your age was around the time I started dating. Same stuff applies, you're just dating other girls. Take it slow, there's some who just want you in bed all the same. Find a girl who shares interests with you, and see if you wouldn't mind being girlfriends with her. One of my best relationships was with a girl for seven months, and we never went beyond kissing and making out. One of my worst was a couple weeks where went went straight to oral on the first date, and I regretted it. Take things at your own pace. I hope that's not TMI. You may have to "come out" for other girls to know you are dating material, but only do that if you're ready. If you go to college, there's plenty of groups you can go to to find like minded individuals and maybe even high schools nowadays. Although it's likely changed since I was your age a decade and a half ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IEatLasers Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 Well... when I was young I made some comment like iirc the teacher asked me why I’m always trying to sit by (girls name) and I said because she’s the cutest girl in school and basically everyone (even that girl) made jokes and made fun of me and the teacher had me talking to the school guidance councilor for a while... so so I feel ready to do more and expirience more things and etc (Not sex which is confusing in its own since I’m not ready for that but then sometimes I kind of am but not still just have to find ways to deal with it) does that make sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Karnage Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 10 minutes ago, Rezzy said: I'm bi and have dated more girls than otherwise loved to have seen that lol one of those things about being a guy is that guys can't be bi, we try the D just once and we're gay for life, even if they get married we'll still call em gay because we always shit talk eachother 10 minutes ago, IEatLasers said: Well... when I was young I made some comment like iirc the teacher asked me why I’m always trying to sit by (girls name) and I said because she’s the cutest girl in school and basically everyone (even that girl) made jokes and made fun of me and the teacher had me talking to the school guidance councilor for a while... so so I feel ready to do more and expirience more things and etc (Not sex which is confusing in its own since I’m not ready for that but then sometimes I kind of am but not still just have to find ways to deal with it) does that make sense? no that seems really weird, but then if I had said something like that past 10 years old I'd have been sent to the guidance counselor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 27 minutes ago, IEatLasers said: Well... when I was young I made some comment like iirc the teacher asked me why I’m always trying to sit by (girls name) and I said because she’s the cutest girl in school and basically everyone (even that girl) made jokes and made fun of me and the teacher had me talking to the school guidance councilor for a while... so so I feel ready to do more and expirience more things and etc (Not sex which is confusing in its own since I’m not ready for that but then sometimes I kind of am but not still just have to find ways to deal with it) does that make sense? How old were you? That sounds like it was probably overreacting, though it sounds similar to something that happened to me in the second grade. There's nothing wrong with wanting to explore the dating world, just take it slow and easy and don't rush into anything you don't want to do. It's not all or nothing, you can be girlfriends and not feel like you need to do anything sexual. Take it in steps. 15 minutes ago, Captain Karnage said: loved to have seen that lol one of those things about being a guy is that guys can't be bi, we try the D just once and we're gay for life, even if they get married we'll still call em gay because we always shit talk eachother Oh, it's mostly boring stuff like watching Monty Python and sitting together reading quietly lying in one another's lap. Although we did have fun. Well, there's nothing wrong with being gay anyway, so who cares what anyone thinks? If you like the D, nothing wrong with satisfying your curiosity. You can always go back to the V if you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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