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Things you're no longer allowed to do in Alm/Celicas army


DisobeyedCargo
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13. Kamui may not run off with the treasury whenever a necrodragon appears. He may not stay on the sidelines whenever we fight one, however.

14. Python is not allowed to be in charge of morale duty at any point or time.

15. Valbar is allowed to use his shield as a sandboard (or better yet, just buy him a sandboard) if it will speed up his movement on the desert maps.

16. Silque is not allowed to threaten anyone (except bandits) with her ability to summon dread fighters.

17. Similarly, Genny is not allowed to summon her soldiers for any purpose other than combat.

18. Female mages are now required to wear pants at all times.

19. Training will now commence for sages on how to use their staff and fists for melee combat, so they no longer have to rely solely on magic.

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20. No, Clair, you may not b*tch-slap Fernand the next time he is fought. You may, however, fight him normally with your lance.

21. 20 also applies to Berkut, Clive, Mathilda.

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25. Jesse may recruit mercenaries for his kingdom after the war, not during.

26. Despite the fact that we took it from his cold, dead hands, we may not transform Deens Brave sword into a rapier or any other weapon. Undead exist in this universe, and it would be a bad idea to test whether or not they're the vengeful kind.

27. Kliff, I don't care what your class is, you are not attacking Desaix. The "impailed on a lance" joke will not become a "funny aneurysm" moment.

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28. Saber may not get Boey drunk again thinking it's funny. Last time he told the maid in Port Zofia "You can be the mage now, baby, I lay down and you blow me up."

29. Mae and Boey's future kids will not be allowed in Zofia Castle, or Rigel Castle, or anywhere else where a huge wildfire wouldn't be appreciated.

30. Do not ask Saber how he lost his eye when he's been drinking, unless you have a few hours to spare.

31. Leon may not watch Rupaul's Drag Race.

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32. Please do not remind Valbar  about his lack of a family

33. Do not bother atlas when he is cutting a tree, Silque is still trying to heal the poor guy.

34. Forsyth is not to be in charge of drills. Yes he's motivated, but he pushed everyone WAY to hard

35. Everyone is to stop blaming Tobin for every little thing 

 

Edited by DisobeyedCargo
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37. If Valbar initiates the conversation, or if the conversation is respectful, you may sidestep rule 32.

38. Saber may not make pirate/ninja jokes when he becomes a dread fighter.

39. If Kamui class changes into a sage, he may no longer attempt to sheathe his staff like a sword. It just looks like you're trying to hard.

40. Mycen will now be in charge of the stealth training, and he has a lot of explaining to do about how he ninja'd his way across an entire continent.

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41. Conrad is also to explain how he ninjaed his way across TWO continents, even with the sages hamlet protectors help.

42. The Draco shield not to be consumed, this is Echoes, not awakening

 

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44. Dread fighters are no longer allowed to mimic Jago's or Shadow Jago's Ultra Combos (see below). As awesome as they are, they are the definition of overkill.

Spoiler

 

 

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23 hours ago, DisobeyedCargo said:

24. No one is to make sexual advances on Delthea. She's 13 you sick fucks!

45.  If--however--Delthea makes sexual advances on YOU. Then its fair game.

46.  Thou shall not shame Sir Clive for being a bottom. 

47. If you shame Sir Clive for being a bottom, and if Mathilda takes offense with the business end of her lance, no reprimand shall be given to Mathilda. You were fairly warned not to shame Sir Clive for being a bottom. 
 

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48. Every Wednesday at noon, the war council shall discuss nasty names to call Jedah in preparation for the next time we fight him. The goal is to make him run away crying to Duma like a big baby. Mae, "purple eggplant butt" is a good start, but the nasty names don't have to involve food.

49. Under no circumstances will Conrad be allowed to watch Batman: The Dark Knight Rises again. Last time he wouldn't stop saying "Noone cared who I was until I put on the mask" for hours.

50. Luthier is not a cat, so stop trying to feed him cat treats, shining a laser pointer at him, and meowing at him. It doesn't matter if he DID swipe at the laser just once. It's mean. He wasn't raised by cats either. This goes double for you, Delthea. He's your brother, not a pet.

Edited by Dragoncat
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4 hours ago, Shoblongoo said:

45.  If--however--Delthea makes sexual advances on YOU. Then its fair game.

 

51. Disregard rule 45, Delthea is 13!! Wait until she's 18 at least guys.

 

52. However, you may comment on Luthiers mediocre magical abilities.

53.  Anyone who makes sexual advances on Delthea is to be put on the watchlist. 

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2 hours ago, DisobeyedCargo said:

51. Disregard rule 45, Delthea is 13!! Wait until she's 18 at least guys.

Age is just a number, unless one is under 18, then jail is just a room. Although maybe Valentia has a younger age of consent? In the book Eragon the title character is considered "a man" at 16 and his cousin was married at that age or maybe 17,  just a thought. I do agree that 13 is TOO young though.

54. Don't feed the terrors in the Deliverance hideout, they will keep expecting it and they will start stealing food and attacking people if they don't give it to them.

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2 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

Age is just a number, unless one is under 18, then jail is just a room. Although maybe Valentia has a younger age of consent? In the book Eragon the title character is considered "a man" at 16 and his cousin was married at that age or maybe 17,  just a thought. I do agree that 13 is TOO young though.

54. Don't feed the terrors in the Deliverance hideout, they will keep expecting it and they will start stealing food and attacking people if they don't give it to them.

Again. 13. 

55. Luthier has full right to Excalibur those who make sexual advances on Delthea 

56. Gray stop trying to lift the royal sword, your not a noble, your a villager, and Alm needs that Double Lion.

Edited by DisobeyedCargo
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57. Python may not sneak the food he was feeding the terrors in the Deliverance hideout into Boey's pockets. Seriously, if you keep feeding these things, the Deliverance will be forced to move.

58. Mae has full right to incinerate anyone who nearly makes Boey have a heart attack like that.

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