Sitcom Special: Lyle's Birthday

[Mufasa]

A Very Lyley Birthday.

Fox: *She gets up out of bed, messing with her bed hair, as she walks over to her door, she notices a calender on the back of her door. She yawns.* Oh. I haven’t checked this in a while. *She looks at it, and sees: “November 10th. Lyle’s birthday.” while the entire week before is covered in: “Don’t forget to buy a gift for Lyle!”* ....Shit. *She runs next door into CGV’s room.* Wake up stupid!

CGV: Huh? Wha?

Fox: I’m in trouble! I forgot to get Lyle a gift!

CGV: A gift? For what?

Fox: Today’s his birthday!

CGV: Oh shit! *He gets out of bed.* I didn’t get him one either!

Fox: Crap! *She grabs him and runs out into the hall and goes to Nightmare’s room. She knocks on the door.* Nightmare!

Nightmare: What?

Masu: *He opens his door, holding his Rita blowup doll.* What the hell’s going on?

Fox: Me and CGV didn’t get a gift for Lyle’s birthday! Can we pay you back and say that your gift was from the three of us?

Nightmare: Today’s his birthday?

Masu: Wait. Hold up. Lyle has a birthday?

*The three of them stare at Masu.*

Nightmare: Don’t worry we can get him one later, he’ll be working for Bianchi today anyway.

CGV: Bianchi is making him work on his birthday?

Nightmare: She’s only having him do one thing. *He yawns.* I’m hitting the shower.

*Fox and CGV continue to knock on doors, and they’re all faced with similar situations.*

Fox: Did YOU remember today was Lyle’s birthday?

Hika: Yeah.

CGV: Really!? Can we go in on the gift you bought him!?!

Hika: Gift? I didn’t get him a gift! Fuck Lyle! *He closes his door.*

*The entire group meets in the living room. None of them had gotten a gift for Lyle.*

Fox: Okay. So NO ONE got a gift for Lyle.

Princess Kilvas: I drew him a picture....

Kiryn: Really? When?

Princess Kilvas: Just now. While Fox was talking. *She shows a stick figure image of Lyle holding a square that’s meant to be a cake.*

CGV: Somehow, I don’t think that’ll cut it.

Princess Kilvas: ;_;

Raven: It’s not that big a deal. We can all just pitch in a get him something really nice.

Masu: But what can we get for Lyle that’s big the day OF his birthday?

Fox: We need to know when he’ll be back. Someone call Bianchi.

Bianchi: No need! I’m here!

CGV: O_o When did you get here?

Bianchi: I’ve always been here silly! I stayed over last night!

Masu: Why-

Princess Kilvas: *She places a hand over Masu’s mouth.*

CGV: How long will Lyle be gone today?

Bianchi: He should be gone for a while! I sent him to a bank with a crazy long line.

Fox: The bank? For what?

*The Bank.*

Lyle: *He stands in the long line. A miserable expression on his face.*

Guy: *The guy behind Lyle tries to initiate a conversation to pass the time.* So....You here for a loan too?

Lyle: N-no. I’m uh...My girlfriend asked me to come here.

Guy: Ah. She wants you to get her some money or something?

Lyle: Er. Sorta.

Guy: ‘Sorta’?

Lyle: Well....She uh...well, she wants me to get change for a nickel.

Guy: ....

*Back at the base.*

Fox: ....I see.

CGV: Well, first let’s try to decide what to get him! Anyone have any ideas?

Zephrion: Here’s an idea, I say screw Lyle, who wants to play some darts? Fireman got a new dartboard at his bar.

Songbird: Zephrion! This is important! It’s Lyle’s birthday! He’s done so much for us!

Zephrion: Psht! I don’t care! *He grabs Doom.* You! Come here! We’re going to play darts!

Doom: Er. Okay..*He gets dragged off by Zephrion.*

Nightmare: What an ass.

Princess Kilvas: Yeah!

Nightmare: He shoulda invited me.

Princess Kilvas: .___.

*Fireman’s bar.*

Zephrion: *He walks in with Doom.* Whaddya mean you’ve never played darts!??!

Doom: What do you mean, “What do you mean”? I think it’s pretty obvious.

Fireman: *He stands behind the bar cleaning a glass. Knife, TLS and Gatrie are at the bar.* Welcome to the tavern.

Zephrion: Can you believe this guy has never played darts? (This is gonna be an easy win!) Fireman! Give us the darts will ya?

Fireman: Fine. But be careful with them. We wouldn’t want another incident like last time. *He glares at TLS.*

TLS: Hey! That cat had it coming! He jumped in my way!

Zephrion: *He aims and throws his three darts.* Hah! 60 points! Beat that Doom!

Doom: Er. I’ll do my best. *He aims.*

Zephrion: *He whispers to Gatrie.* This’ll be the easiest 20 bucks I’ve ever made!

Gatrie: ...You made a bet with him?

Zephrion: .....Shit....

Doom: *He throws his darts.* Huh. That’s....125 points right?

Zephrion: O_O

Gatrie: *He snickers.*

Zephrion: Beginner’s luck!!

*Back at the base. The group sits in silence.*

Bianchi: I know!

Fox: What?!

Bianchi: We can get him an orgy!

*The females in the room look at her oddly.*

Nightmare: An....orgy?

Bianchi: Yeah! Lyle loves orgies!

Raven: No he doesn’t. YOU love orgies. Lyle sits in the corner in a state of depression and self-loathing.

Bianchi: He does?

Fox: ....How the hell do you know?!

Raven: Erm...

CGV: I got it!

Kiryn: *Eager to get off the subject.* What?!

CGV: We can get him tickets to the opera!

Fox: The opera? Wow...I’m kinda impressed that you can be so classy CGV.

CGV: Really?

Fox: Yeah.

Masu: But would Lyle like an opera?

CGV: Of course he would! There’s nothing like a girl in a metal bra!

Fox: .____.

*Fireman’s bar.*

Doom: Wow. I win again? That’s three in a row.

Zephrion: .....You know what? Fuck darts. Darts suck!

Fireman: Is that so? *He couldn’t care less.*

Doom: Should we go back and get a gift for Lyle?

Zpehrion: Psht! No! Are you kidding? Screw that. We’ll go bowling!

Knife: .....Bowling?

Zephrion: Er....Yeah?

Knife: Bowling?! BOWLING!?

*The whole room stares at Knife.*

Knife: DON’T YOU KNOW I CAN’T DO IT ANYMORE!?!?!?! *He runs out of the bar, crying.*

Doom:

Fireman: What the hell was that all about?

Zephrion: *He shrugs.* Whatever, let’s get out of here.

*Base.*

Fox: .....

Princess Kilvas: .....

CGV: .....

Raven: ....

Masu: ....*SNORE.*

Kriyn: *She slaps him.*

Masu: OW!

Kiryn: Wake up stupid!

Knife: *He runs through the room, his hands over his face.*

Nightmare: ...The hell?

*Knife’s room.*

Knife: I...can’t! I can’t bowl! Not since.....THE INCIDENT!!!

*Several years ago.*

Announcer’s voice: And the reigning champion, Knife, steps up to the line! Possibly his last time bowling as the champ! He can win the game, IF he gets a strike here. If not! Then he loses!

*The crowd cheers Knife’s name.*

Knife: *He waves to his adoring fans.*

Hawk laguz child: *A small child breaks away from the crowd.* Knife! Knife! Look at me!

Knife: *He bends down to pat the kid on his head.* Hello there little guy. You know, someday, when you’re all grown up and strong. You’ll be just like me!

Hawk Laguz child: Really? YAY!! *The child starts running around Knife.*

Knife: *He aims his bowling ball and starts his play.*

Hawk Laguz Child: Whoops! *He slips and slides down the lane.*

Knife: *He watches in horror as his bowling ball and the Hawk Laguz child go down the lane. The two smack into each other, and a tuff of feathers fly all over the place. Knife clutches his face. Then flames erupt from where the child and bowling ball hit one another.* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Knife fan #1: ...How did they catch on fire?

Knife fan #2: *He shrugs.*

*Present day.*

Knife: *He cries.* I had the championship...in my hands...I would have had it all...But that little shit got in the way! *He runs out of his room crying.*

*In the living room.*

Raven: .....Can we get him a car?

Masu: What the hell is he gonna use a car for?

Princess Kilvas: What about...um...I got nothing.

CGV: We can get him new swords!

Nightmare: His swords are PRF weapons. They never dull.

CGV: Oh yeah...

*Knife goes running through the room. They don’t notice him.*

Kiryn: We can get him a pegasus. Or a wyvern.

Fox: I think he’s afraid of heights.

Songbird: He is?

Fox: He is ever since Bianchi did that one experiment. <_<

Bianchi: Hey! Who knew that the bungee cord would snap!?

Fox: Maybe you would have suspected it would when you were cutting the one end!

Bianchi: :o I did that?!

Fox: ._____.

*The Bank.*

Lyle: *He reaches the front of the line and walks up to the teller.* Hi. Um, this is a little odd, but can I get change for this nickel?

Teller: ....You serious?

Lyle: ...Yeah...

Teller: Well, I hate to tell you this, but you got on the wrong line then. You should be over there. *He points to a line which is just as long as the first one.*

Lyle: ......You can’t give me five pennies?

Teller: I don’t handle transactions sir.

Lyle: *Sigh.*

*Knife sits at a bar, telling his troubles to Fireman.*

Knife: I just....can’t do it man! I CAN’T!

Fireman: He bursted into flames?

Knife: It’s been haunting me ever since! I can’t get over it!

Fireman: ...I think you should be commited. I know a good pyschologist. He’s a little expensive but-

Knife: I can’t even go near a bowling alley anymore! It’s terrible!

Fireman: You can’t?

Knife: No! It pains me just too look at the building!

Fireman: ....You do realize that you’re at the bar in the bowling alley?

Knife: *He looks around to see 40 lanes of people bowling.* Oh...

*At one of the lanes.*

Doom: Wow. That’s 3 games I won now.

Zephrion: ._______. God....dammit....

Doom: Want to play again?

Knife: NO! I CAN’T! I CAN’T DO IT ANYMORE!! IT KILLS ME!!!

???: Well, well, well. If it isn’t the former champion of bowling: Knife! Remember me?

Knife: *He looks up at the stereotypical jock in front of him.* Oh. Hello SPOON

Spoon: I guess you do remember me.

Fireman: ‘Spoon’?

Knife: He’s the guy who beat me that one year. I knew I could just try to win again by replaying him. But....I couldn’t.

Fireman: ...This guy’s name is ‘Spoon’?

Spoon: Pah! You didn’t stand a chance Knife! You lost that tournament the moment you had to face the almighty Spoon!

Doom: Hey! You guys want to play with us?

Knife: FINE! Let’s do this Spoon! I’ll show you that I’m even BETTER than I was all those years ago.

Spoon: Hah!

*Base.*

Raven: *He walks into the room.* Well, I just finished making the cake.

Nightmare: Really?

Raven: No. I lied.

Masu: THE CAKE IS A LIE!??!?!

Kiyrn: *She punches Masu.* So now what? Do we just sit here? We gotta think of something to get him.

Bianchi: Well, I can give him the gift that keeps on giving.

CGV: Sex?

Bianchi: What?! No! More experiments silly!

Princess Kilvas: I’m pretty sure Lyle doesn’t like those...

Bianchi: Really? But he’s always squealing when I do it!

Fox: Are you sure he isn’t screaming?

Bianchi: ......

*Bank.*

Lyle: What do you mean this isn’t the right line?!

Teller: I’m sorry sir, but you’re supposed to be on that line.

Lyle: I WAS JUST ON THAT LINE!!!

Teller: I’m sorry sir, but apparently they told you the wrong information.

Lyle: .....*He punches the teller, reaches into the teller’s pocket and pulls out five pennies, and shoves the nickel down the teller’s throat.*

*Bowling alley. The four are on the final frame. Zephrion is in last place with a 70, Doom is in third with a 230, and Spoon and Knife are tied.*

Spoon: *He gets a strike.* Hah! You’re turn Knife!

Knife: (It all comes down to this. I need a strike to win. If not....I lose.) *Sweat drips down his forehead.*

Raven laguz kid: Go Knife! Go! *He runs towards Knife, then slips.*

Knife: *He lets go of his ball, and the raven kid and Knife’s ball are on a collision corse.* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Metal Rabbit: *He pops out of the ground in the lane.* Time for my grand entrance! *He opens his mouth wide and devours both the raven child, and Knife’s ball.* Mmm! *He catches on fire.*

Doom: ...Did Metal Rabbit just catch on fire?

Zephrion: He does that a lot.

Kinfe: NOOOOOOOO!!!!*He falls into a fetal position and weeps.*

*Base.*

Lyle: *He walks through the door, worn from his day’s event.* Ugh..

*The people in the room stare at him.*

All: Happy Birthday Lyle!

Lyle: *He smiles.* Thanks a lot guys!

Fox: We’re sorry, but...

CGV: None of us got you a gift...

Lyle: Huh? That’s alright guys. You didn’t have to get me anything. Just being with you all is good enough for me.

Princess Kilvas: Really?

Lyle: Yeah.

Raven: So there’s really nothing you want?

Lyle: Well, there is ONE thing....

*Later. Masu is pulling a wagon on his own. The entire rest of the group in sitting in the back, enjoying the stroll.*

Masu: ....Just you wait till it’s my birthday jerk.

Lyle: SILENCE! *He cracks a whip on Masu’s back.*

Masu: OW! Asshole!

Lyle: This is the best birthday ever.

Bianchi: Really?

Lyle: ...Nah But it’s better than that time I saw that hawk kid burst into flames at that bowling tournament.

The End.

Happy my birthday to all my friends.

[Not Changed by VASM :(]

Oh meh gawd, I nearly crapped myself laughing.

I only got like one line though....whatever it's all cool.

[Mufasa]

Oh meh gawd, I nearly crapped myself laughing.

I only got like one line though....whatever it's all cool.

At least you got that much though. Some people weren't even in it.

But any feedback is nice. Lol.

[Nightmare]

Zephrion: Psht! I don’t care! *He grabs Doom.* You! Come here! We’re going to play darts!

Doom: Er. Okay..*He gets dragged off by Zephrion.*

Nightmare: What an ass.

Princess Kilvas: Yeah!

Nightmare: He shoulda invited me.

Princess Kilvas: .___.

Lol, awesome.

Nice stuff.

[Judge Judy]

Fox: Okay. So NO ONE got a gift for Lyle.

Princess Kilvas: I drew him a picture....

Kiryn: Really? When?

Princess Kilvas: Just now. While Fox was talking. *She shows a stick figure image of Lyle holding a square that’s meant to be a cake.*

CGV: Somehow, I don’t think that’ll cut it.

Princess Kilvas: ;_;

I found this part quite funny

I liked all of it.

Thanks for posting it up!

[Mufasa]

Lol, awesome.

Nice stuff.

Thanks Nightmare.

I found this part quite funny

I liked all of it.

Thanks for posting it up!

Lol. Thanks.

[Mufasa]

:(

Come on! Read! Lol. I wrote this like, this morning.

[Not Changed by VASM :(]

I reply'd, I CAN HAZ CREDIT.

[Songbird]

"She wanted me to get change for a nickel." Genius. I want to try that out sometime.

Spoon vs Knifey = epic battle. Those poor bid-tribe laguz children. ;_;

Awesome birthday special, Lyle! XD

[Florete]

*Was expecting it to be more perverted* Good job, Lyle.

[Mufasa]

"She wanted me to get change for a nickel." Genius. I want to try that out sometime.

Spoon vs Knifey = epic battle. Those poor bid-tribe laguz children. ;_;

Awesome birthday special, Lyle! XD

Lol. Thanks Song! *Hugs.* I missed your comments on my stories. Lol.

*Was expecting it to be more perverted* Good job, Lyle.

You sound dissapointed.

Lol. Thanks.

[Not Changed by VASM :(]

*Was expecting it to be more perverted* Good job, Lyle.

*Was disappointed when it wasn't*

[Mufasa]

*Bumps?*

[Metal Rabbit]

It's like you tried to fit everyone you could into it.

I didn't find it as funny. Having the insane character is important for being funny.

I'd be more critical, but it's your birthday.

[Mufasa]

It's like you tried to fit everyone you could into it.

I didn't find it as funny. Having the insane character is important for being funny.

I'd be more critical, but it's your birthday.

I had you in there. You devoured that little raven child. Then ignighted.

[Oguma]

Happy Borthday Lyle! *strips*

[CGV]

Bianchi: Well, I can give him the gift that keeps on giving

CGV: Sex?

Best. Line. EVER!!!

[Not Changed by VASM :(]

Best. Line. EVER!!!

Your going to like your role in my new sitcom episode.

[Liz]

oh my!

XD

lol orgies! .....what's an orgy?

lol!

:P

[Not Changed by VASM :(]

oh my!

XD

lol orgies! .....what's an orgy?

lol!

:P

I'd explain in detail but i already have a 60% Warn.

[TLSothe]

.___.

Epic...!

[Phoenix Wright]

Lol. I liked the battle with 'Spoon.'

Nice Lyle, happy b-day. *In a VERY friendly way*

Not THAT way. pervs *Even though the strike will never show up, I still need it there. ;')*

Edited November 11, 2008 by Ocelot the Viper

[Phoenix Wright]

Lol. I liked the battle with 'Spoon.'

Nice Lyle, happy b-day. *In a VERY friendly way*

Not THAT way. pervs *Even though the strike will never show up, I still need it there. ;')*

Dammit, forgot I pressed "quote" instead of edit, don't ask why...

Edited November 11, 2008 by Ocelot the Viper

[Princess Kilvas]

That was hilarious! I love the part when I drew the picture. XD

[Mufasa]

That was hilarious! I love the part when I drew the picture. XD

Lol. I'm glad you liked it. :D