Re: The weirdo. Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 Recently the battles that toads, frogs, and other small amphibians fight for the right to mate has developed a layer of nuance, not found in other kingdoms, in that they now use weapons, complete with something of a rock paper scissors format that gives sword wielding toads an advantage against battleaxe wielding toads, whom have an advantage against lancer toads, who, themselves, have an edge against the fencer-toads. This allows for a true metagame of frog mating to form, inevitably forcing more toads with inferior minds to die out, due to not paying attention to the current state of affairs in their own kingdom. Biologists predicts that within the next 11 generations of frog warfare, the average IQ of a toad will exceed the average IQ of a human living today, and in the next 19-23 generations, of toad tussling, they will have become the dominant species on this planet, and annihilate the human race with new, superior technology, if left unchecked. Clearly we must do something about this, and Former President of the United States Barack Obama, has stated in an exclusive interview that his short chemical war with the frogs to "turn them gay", direct quote, was presisely because he saw the signs of the frog uprising. Several military bio-historians have noted a strong correlation between the apparent increase in intelligence in amphibians, with the evolutionary process seen in human bio-history, apparently indicating that within 5 frog generations, they may have invented Guns, and frog massacres would come on the 7th generation. This reporter is stumped by the phenomenon shown by this obscure photo, and has no idea what to do in regards to these dark times, soon to come. Spoiler this is a shitpost, just in case you are stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punished Dayni Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 I was hoping it was an exaggeration of some actual odd toad behaviour. Still got a grin from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Re: The weirdo. Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 1 minute ago, Dayni said: I was hoping it was an exaggeration of some actual odd toad behaviour. Still got a grin from me. nah just a cursed image Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 Alex Jones only spoke the truth, he did nothing wrong. Preach! Now we got to put those frog through gay conversion therapy. Hopefully they can survive the electrocutions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 (edited) I thought this was going to be serious biology stuff before I clicked on it. And I was going to say it was the most interesting thing I read in a long time. Now it's just the best shitpost I read in a long time. For what it's worth though there are lizards that do a rock paper scissors thing. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/the-lizards-that-live-rock-paper-scissors-118219795/ Edited August 29, 2018 by Dragoncat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Re: The weirdo. Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 (edited) 2 hours ago, Dragoncat said: I thought this was going to be serious biology stuff before I clicked on it. And I was going to say it was the most interesting thing I read in a long time. Now it's just the best shitpost I read in a long time. For what it's worth though there are lizards that do a rock paper scissors thing. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/the-lizards-that-live-rock-paper-scissors-118219795/ thanks, it took like 20 minutes to come up with enough shit to post. edit; woah the RPS lizards are cool as hell Edited August 29, 2018 by (s)ad touch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X-Naut Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 I thought this was going to be about Super Mario series Toads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 I remember this; It was my favorite part of Battletoads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ViceTOLUCT Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 Yay! Battletoads is real! Now if only Final Fantasy was real (it sort of is) then my life would be complete! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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