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The Roger The Paladin

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About The Roger The Paladin

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    Unleash the The

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    Male
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    Archery, Arthurian legend, Nordic mythology, Greco-roman mythology, pointless facts about extinct animals.
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    Under the The

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  • Favorite Fire Emblem Game
    Shadow Dragon

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    Caeda

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    Archanea

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  1. Verdant Wind did give us the true final boss the series has been building towards since it inception. I agree. To be honest, the most fun I'd ever had with a final boss, and none of it intentional.
  2. To be honest, something had to. I'd argue in a way it can be worse. Because even on hard Seteth will have speed issues at base on the map. I'm afraid to see what maddening does there. Then again, at least he can't be completely screwed unlike anyone else. I've been through the game a number of times, and my Byleth has been screwed to the point of being kind of lacklustre every one. There's been times I'm better off using him to heal than anything else. Which is sad for an avatar. It must be how Pretzel felt. Why is it a good three of these choices revolve around Petra? I mean, fell her on Gronder field and the hill goes up in flames, she lies about her range in Enbarr, and if you're playing her paralogue the game outright lies to you about the win condition in a way that can amount to same turn reinforcements. His car was cursed, if you go off the history and the legend. https://jalopnik.com/the-curse-of-james-deans-little-bastard-5113390 Bring back event matches so we can have one that's functionally like the one with the Yoshi egg in Melee, where Sonic is trying to protect this water bottle from breaking. Sounds about right. Ironically, I've used the rescue slow-down trick a couple times in the GBA games to allow a stronger unit to effectively Jagen an enemy for someone weaker. Because lowering both the crit rate and speed on someone can pull wonders with that. Not really necessary in Binding Blade, but in Sacred Stones it makes Seth do his job instead of killing enemies outright and soloing maps. Yep. Pretty much what I imagined. And here we have the rare case of the double Tsundere, where they both actually insult each other but don't really mean it. It's probably best they don't. I don't want to be on an FBI watchlist for a game I've played. Not that I'm in FBI jurisdiction. But, you know, seeing as I keep telling people who aren't that they've been reported to the FBI, they're kind of my default. Mind if I wanted to be really stupid, I'd start reporting people to the OSS, seeing as they haven't been a thing since the 40s. My brother, who spent the last couple years boxing had a hell of a win/lose record. The only time he actually lost (barring an incident involving it going to decision and a referee with bad blood with his coach), or was even knocked down was against a former world champion, albeit in a sparring match. If you have to lose eventually, it pays to pick your losses. It's really not easy. My record includes at least two different native species of parrot, a crow, a hawk, and a duck. Mind the hawk actually died because it ate a poisoned rat and it proved too little too late, and one of the parrots unfortunately had an incurable disease as opposed to an actual injury. The other 4 were broken wings, so they actually recovered. The hawk and crow were the easiest, as the former trusted me enough to let me hold it (leaving me to wonder if it had been trained), and the crow was evidentally there a bit before I found it, and not very mobile. I'm surprised it survived to be honest. I did say it was a bad pun. Because anyway you look at it, it's a stretch. Martel still had the sense to have a weapon on his person. Though then again, if Martel were the one carrying out this plan, he probably wouldn't have brought an antidote... simultaneously making it harder to fix and dying from his own stupidity. I can't decide whether that's better or worse. But Robert's my favourite Thracia character. How can my favourite be forgettable? The Swordmaster lady who comes in the second arc of Awakening, has some plot relevance due to Yen'Fay, then is forgotten about after the twist to Yen'Fay is revealed mid-way through the second arc. Once Walhart's defeated she's just kind of in your army. Due to being a character with no unique children and no supports other than Robin, Tiki, and the mandatory Morgan support, she's kind of forgettable. I mean, she doesn't even have supports with the Outrealms version of Yen'fay... despite you know, being a counterpart of his sister. There's less developed characters in the game sure (Priam's only notable trait is his bloodline), but their novelty make them stand out more. Oh, it's a worse way to live. When I was a child, I grabbed a chair leg, unaware it was molten from being a little too close to the fire. The plastic coated my finger-tips and the leg was left with a missing chunk in the shape of my 8 year old fingers. Wasn't the worst case I'd heard of though, as it didn't require special surgery. The groundskeeper at my school on the other hand, made the mistake of stepping in ashes unaware there were live embers while wearing gumboots. They had to be removed surgically with a layer of skin as they melted to his feet. Plot twist. The antidote is Tonic. Maybe, the adults all had a resistance to it because he's pulled this stunt before and they developed an immunity? Either that or he used far too weak a poison to injure anyone who was fully developed. Well, she might have if they were all as smart as Disaad. I mean, then they'd be unarmed. Well, that was your worst death rate ever. I mean, you lost five units, one of which died 5 times. You blew through every method of resurrection you had stockpiled, whether the Aum or all three uses of the Dakruon. All to get Hughbert back only for another unit to sacrifice themself on him to allow his death again. You lost Van Million towns to Horsemen, and the only reason you finished the chapter was the boss deciding to suicide on Ward's beard yet again. What a beautiful train wreck. The worst in Reesent memory. Leeving the puns until last are we? DisReesepectful indeed. I can't beLeeve how derailed this update is.
  3. I half expected this to be a shitpost where you just turn into dust.
  4. Which is what appeals to my sense of humour. It was the greatest mismatch of a final boss since the old Hulk game on the Mega Drive (where the final boss is the Leader, whose only power is super intelligence). You can defeat him in one hit (admittedly only if it's an uppercut, or Banner's gun as inexplicably regular punches don't work) because master schemer here literally forgot to plan for what happens if all his tricks, traps and thugs fail... as per usual. That and it makes fun of the need to make every Sonic OC related to a major character/somehow canonically important despite not being in the games or even official. I admit though, the original speech was more verbose, but we are talking something from most of a decade ago, so I've actually forgotten it. That was unironically one of the most bullshit things I'd ever seen. What's next? Enemies that use the rescue mechanic to deliberately slow down so they can suicide against you? Even though it wouldn't work strategically, as they'd just block the path with the rescued unit. Damn. Disorganization among the villagers? Yes. I like to say things that can be both taken as sick or completely innocent, and then pretend I don't know what people are talking about when they take it I'm being sick. Then I act like I just got it, call them sick, and enjoy the reaction. But I'm also too honest to lie when asked directly if I'm setting people up. Mind you, that Mario one was legitimately me referencing the toxins of Amanita Muscaria making you think you're growing. Half a mann, Half a mind, Full pockets. Honestly, I'd assume it's the set up to the "do em in your head" joke I always found disturbing. But you know. In this situation, it's literal. So it might be even more disturbing. You know, if it makes you feel better, I forgot about him until he came up as well. Mostly because the one time he's off the bench for me is in a literal cinematic where he gets beat by Zelgius. Which I guess isn't the worst way to get beat. That was some local cryptid the relative size of a bear. (which is probably a worse idea, on the off chance it exists). Mind I've only ever seen a bear once, and it was a Sun Bear at the zoo. But I do definitely have experience with catching injured birds (and for that matter snakes). It's not particularly easy because you have to be firm enough to actually stop them escaping, but gentle enough not to do harm. In the snake's case you also need to avoid getting bit, but that whole process is made rather easy because generally I just use a lengthy implement such as a stick and a bin to herd them into and shut the lid until release. It's the bird that's harder here because they'll take every trick in the book to get away. Worst case being when a particular parrot I discovered one morning with a broken wing left me with an injury to my middle finger by clamping down hard. Infected and everything. So it's many times tougher to capture someone in non-ideal situations such as war where they're actively trying to kill you rather than flee. Given the motivations for the original post... that'll be easy. Also a chance for a bad pun will Sylvis wound. Well you definitely wouldn't want to be in front of it. Favouritism? So basically like the Hide ability but for everyone? All the same it sounds actually fun as opposed to annoying. In the headless chicken's defense, it's already got problems with it's neck. Namely that it's got a gaping wound at the top. Ruby has no such excuse. Despite deserving it. Man these garbage bags never fail to be idiots. Well, he could be deliberately lowering the area he takes up to reduce the enemy hit rate. Which one of them? I can honestly imagine Elbert using the entire opportunity for snarky remarks. Or he's a patchwork monstrosity sewn together from the dead. Or his chin got cut off before, and has been sewn back on. Or he needed stitches What a hollow claim from a man with no weapon facing a woman who could almost one shot him. Accurate summary of the battle. This guy might be dumber than Martel. Unironically. Disaadest excuse for a villain I've ever seen. Ironic. I couldn't forget most of these guys. I mean Oujay literally died twice in Ruben's FE6 Iron Man. How could I forget that? I do admit I forgot Fred though, but how could one forget Conomoor's mustache? If I were to try and think on the character I forget the most (Skrimir aside) it's probably Say'ri. Because comes in late enough that I kind of have competent units in Awakening, but early enough I have time to forget her... despite relevance to the plot's second arc. The fact she's absent from the first arc and just kind of still there for the third is enough for me to forget her when I'm not actively using her. There's definitely characters from Geneology I forget too. Most of the replacement 2nd Gen characters for example. Only way he could have been bright is if his robes combusted. But then, it being a garbage bag, we all know plastic just melts into your skin. I doubt he'd even have the mind to think of that.
  5. Ok. Let's try this. Some are going to already be spirits/background elements... but screw it. I've got too many SNK titles thanks to a recent addiction and I can't be bothered thinking up ones that don't appear on the King of Fighters Stage. Thank God I'm not finished buying them. Though I'm blatantly cheating on the collections. Art of Fighting: Ryo Sakazaki (not to be confused with Ryu) Art of Fighting 2: King Art of Fighting 3: Robert Garcia Fatal Fury: Andy Bogard Fatal Fury 2: Jubei Yamada (yeah, I got 2 as well as special for the slight ending differences. Also because I spent points to get it). Fatal Fury Special: Joe Higashi Fatal Fury 3: Mai Shiranui Oh... well because that pick got censored Blue Mary. Real Bout Fatal Fury: Geese Howard Real Bout Fatal Fury Special: Wolfgang Krauser Real Bout Fatal Fury 2: Billy Kane Garou Mark of Wolves: Rock Howard. Samurai Shodown: Nakoruru King of Fighters '94: Kyo Kusanagi World Heroes: Jeanne D'Arc World Heroes 2: Rasputin World Heroes 2 Jet: Hanzo Hattori World Heroes Perfect: Johnny Maximum Donkey Kong Jr.: Donkey Kong Jr. (what choice do I have) Double Dragon: Billy Lee Double Dragon II the Revenge: Jimmy Lee Moon Cresta:.... is there a character in this game? Terra Cresta: See above. Blaster Master Zero: Jason Frudnick Bloodstained Curse of the Moon: Gebel Bloodstained Ritual of the Night: Miriam Castlevania Legacy collection: I'm counting this as one game, because otherwise I'm going to be really pressed on Castlevania 1+2 So Grant Danasty. Collection of Mana: Same deal. So Randi. Contra Legacy Collection: Bill Rizer. Because again legacy collection, though I guess you can do Lance too. Crash N. Sane Trilogy: Crash Bandicoot. Also counting as one game. Cursed Castilla: Don Ramiro Dragon Quest I: Dragon Lord. Dragon Quest II: Prince of Cannock I guess. Dragon Quest III: Seeing as Erdrick's a costume, Ortega. Dragon Quest XI: Erik. Because why not. Final Fantasy VIII: Squall I guess. Final Fantasy IX: Vivi because I want to be different. Fire Emblem Warriors: Well, Frederick isn't a spirit so that'll do. Fire Emblem Three Houses: Ferdinand Von Aegir. Because memes. Kirby Star Allies: Adeline. Because being different again. Luigi's Mansion 3: Gooigi. Megaman 11: Acid Man. Megaman Legacy Collection 2: Bass Rogue Trooper Redux: Rogue I guess. Because it'd be hard to play Gunnar, Helm or Bagman... given they're biochips in objects relating to the names. Wonder Boy in Monster Land: Wonder Boy SNK 40th anniversary collection: Athena. I don't care which one. Sonic Mania: Tails because I'm actually giving up on being different here. Spyro Reignited Trilogy: Spyro Super Mario Odyssey: I know. This game is totally missing Spewart. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate: Can I actually add a character from Smash Bros to Smash Bros? The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild: Revali The Legend of Zelda Link's Awakening DX: Marin Volgarr The Viking: Like there's any choice not named Volgarr. Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap: I guess Lizard man, because even though he's a transformation of Wonder Boy, he plays differently. Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Rex/Pyra Xenoblade Chronicles Torna: Lora/Jin Yoshi's Crafted World: Kamek.
  6. Because it looks like he's the real Vladimir Putin and he was told to stop interfering with forum votes. Repeatedly.
  7. Yeah... that is definitely a problem. More so in a blind run. In a run where you know what's coming it becomes a tactical thing. But who wants to know what's coming their first time? While I can see the argument for this, I have to point out this is hardly the only game in the series that does it. Which doesn't excuse it by any means.
  8. Gameplay wise I'll fully admit it's inferior, but I argue the darker atmosphere and increased characterization of NPCs compared to 1 and, to an extent, 3 paved the way for games like IV, VI, and VII. That said, the player characters and antagonist were still a blank state, and a lot of the missions were awfully fetch-questy. No master-piece by any means, but I feel like it gets given a harsher time than it deserves, like quite a number of other games on the list. Point was more a lament on that sometimes the bad aspects of a game get remembered far more than the good. Then again, I just have a soft-spot for black-sheep games. Ah. Megaman 2, the black sheep of second games on the NES... for not being a black sheep. Can you think of any other second game on the console that did that? (Double Dragon II the Revenge obviously. I mean it's the best of the three, because it has two-player unlike 1, and isn't as unforgiving as 3.... which I also have a soft spot for. Maybe I just legit like games that piss me off. Maybe I just like to try and see what the developer was going for (this would explain why games I see as soul-less like Awesome Possum and Bubsy 3D are just irritating as opposed to something I can derive entertainment from, whereas games that over-reached in their ambition or have infuriating difficulty tend to get a pass). Definitely one of the more irritating things about the Kaga era Fire Emblem games. I remember playing Gaiden the first time and having Tatiana done in by the crater necrodragons' initial attack before you get to move because "surprise attack". That example being given, it's obvious the problem went back a bit further than Thracia... it's just accentuated here.
  9. It's a general rule some people will dislike something in a franchise that differs from what their perception of the franchise is. An example of this is the numerous "oddball" second entries of the NES era, and how many of them are considered black sheep for deviating from the norm. Things like single RNG, the possibility of staves failing to heal, fatigue, and minimum deployment limits can all be perceived as making things unnecessarily more complicated/difficult than the series has been since being released in the West. This sort of thing can also explain why people dislike Dragon Quest II to the point of it being called the black sheep of the series (despite the fact that it vastly improved on the barebones Dragon Quest 1 by adding a party, an opening cutscene, keys that didn't break after uses, status conditions, and gameplay that didn't just amount to grinding to the point where you could one-shot whatever common enemies were in an area), or the experimental Castlevania II (which in my opinion tried to go for what Symphony of the Night achieved, but was limited by technical constraints). Then we have Zelda II, which cops a lot of flak for basically being a different genre entirely, or Super Mario Bros 2, which while not as severe does still get crap for being Doki Doki Panic re-skinned as opposed to a real sequel. Not even going into Final Fantasy II, which had legitimately bad gameplay due to a poor "levelling" system (if you can call it that), but really had a much better story than the generic 1 or 3. Point is, if a game's different enough from what people perceive the series as, it risks being picked apart for it's imperfections/differences, as people will focus on the bad aspects over the good. I remember when Wind Waker came out, and a classmate vehemently refused to have anything to do with the game based off it's art-style alone. I on the other hand mostly enjoyed it except for the amount of time I spent sailing or setting the wind in the direction I needed for sailing. That said, even I admit that aspect weighs far more heavily in my memory of the game than it should
  10. Have you ever tried capturing an injured bird to take to the vet? It's not always easy. They may not fly with a broken wing, but they will move surprisingly fast and get into places you won't. Now imagine trying to capture someone with a weapon who is actively trying to kill you, without killing them in the process. I mean, you accidentally hit an artery in the heat of combat with that arrow you were trying to disable that leg with, or they try to dodge an attack and get it in a worse spot... then you've accidentally killed them. No capture. Do not collect 200 dollars. Now my sarcastic comment about that being a dealbreaker looks worse than it did before. Thanks. (Though to be fair, if a girl needed to be paid to be involved with me, I'd avoid her like the plague)
  11. Trust me, I can name a tonne. Like the Mar-Vell version of Captain Marvel (1967-1982). Guy literally had his own series more of that time than not... but they killed him with cancer. Which is kind of why no one brought him back. It was meant to be a ballsy and powerful move and bringing him back would under-mine it. I'd actually written up a paragraph of more examples detailing who they were, how they died and why they never returned (including the version of Clayface they used in Batman TAS' comic counterpart, and his replacement with the 40s version of Clayface who had originally been a guy in a fancy mask) but, then decided it was too lengthy. Point is, if the story is powerful, the character is unpopular/forgettable, the character can be replaced, or the character only has a handful of appearances, it's easy enough to keep someone dead. Carrion had two of these going for him. He debuted in Spectacular Spider-man 24, and died in 31. His replacements have both had more appearances than him, and are similar enough (I mean it was a full body costume) that even a writer on the series mistakenly thought they were clones of him a couple years back (seeing as he was a clone). Nemesis got wrecked so hard that I didn't even need to use another unit. After that spectacle, I've been unable to go back to the game because I feel like the laughter caused by a legendary foe calling you feeble, then proceeding to have his knock-off sword of the creator harmlessly bounce off you every time you fight him (except when he does a whopping 1 damage by a combat art, which then proceeds to be healed by your shield) is the most fun I had with the game. Which is not me saying I hated it, just that I laughed like a maniac the entire time. Comes from a joke my brother made years ago (we're talking so long ago Smash 4's roster hadn't even started being announced bar a few guys) where he was making fun of Sonic OC's cliches by creating one that "wasn't a recolour". See, he's Tonic the Hedgehog. By an accident of birth he was born a liquid instead of a solid. He was destined to run really fast, even more fast than Sonic, but because of his birth defect he can't. The evil Robotnik (not yet a doctor) earned his medical degree by capturing Tonic and distributing him globally as medicine for coughs. So now Sonic really hates Robotnik, and when he's not fighting him has to collect his brother in a bottle so he can use the chaos emeralds to take on his rightful form (as a solid) and run really fast. So long story short, as the ultimate joke on doing a lazy recolour and acting like it's a fully original creation that is not derived from something else, Tonic was actually just a picture of a water bottle off google images with a name and "copyright" slapped on. Immature? Yes. Fun? Also yes. Yeah... I still don't understand the physics there. Just that it's obvious Intelligent Systems didn't distinguish one type of water from another. It was a joke on the origin of the Mushroom power up being because of that one mushroom which contains toxins that make you think you're growing if you eat it. What did you think? "Incest" *giggling* "Hey IS" " What" "I Just thought of something less wholesome than incest" "Let me hear it" "Milk" I once did a thing where I put some Fates stuff into a random story generator that resulted in a funny smut-fic about those two. Sort of. Camilla tried to make it a smut-fic but Corrin had none of it and ended up murdering her. Suddenly I realize why there was no hit. Apparently they hadn't handed over the stuff yet, ergo officially there was no bounty until they had a down payment. By talking to the villagers, Ward got a heads up on it before it was officially filed cutting through the red tape. So the villagers didn't bother giving it over because Ward's beard could have taken the bandits alone. So is the LP title actually a Volcens' speech? Well... damn. What a reVolcens development. I don't know. That sounds like a dealbreaker. More like Halfmind. Sucker.
  12. Beyond Miriel cheating with Vaike or Libra... or perhaps more seriously blonde being a place-holder hair-colour for Laurent in case something goes wrong in the data referencing who the father is.... other than that, I'm out of ideas.
  13. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't aware and just feeling the need for the low-hanging fruit of making fun of Corrin's confusion on what "sexual relations" means.
  14. Yep. Ryoma's a rip-off of an early game Kagasaga bandit. What a twist. It's a tradition as old as Pac-Man eating power pellets and chomping Ghosts. Or Mario taking Shrooms and feeling bigger. I'm sorry, I thought Fates was the one that had incest.
  15. Also the crits are great. They're just fun to watch. The funny thing about Deadpool and Deathstroke is Deadpool's costume was originally designed as a new costume for Deathstroke by Rob Liefield. Except it was rejected and later when he was working at Marvel on the New Mutants series (think what Teen Titans is to the JLA but to the X-men, except less kid side-kicks and more students at Xavier's school not deemed good enough for the team). Regardless, the writer there (Fabian Nicieza) saw the sketches and thought it'd be bloody hilarious to parody Deathstroke. To the point that Deadpool's real name of Wade Wilson is blatantly just slightly changed from Deathstroke's Slade Wilson. What wasn't expected was the character actually taking off. On a side note, most of the time in the early 80s, when Deathstroke first started appearing, he was called "The Terminator". (Seriously while the Deathstroke name was there it was much less frequently used than that part of his name. His first appearance in New Teen Titans #2 was titled "Today... the Terminator"). After a certain movie came out, "the Terminator" became reduced to an epithet sometimes used after his name. So I guess what they both have in common is having aspects stick that weren't expected. I don't know. He's called Osburn the rest of the story... so I'll go with that. Or this Holmes is an idiot (considering the story this is pretty true) I just like to think he knows the insults are petty and juvenile, but he's literally using them to get the enemy to make (fatal) mistakes. Which is kind of what the skill is about. Spider-man used to have a villain named Carrion. He was an imperfect clone of a dead villain (The Jackal whose whole thing was cloning). Appropriately enough Carrion's touch would cause organic matter to decay. Also he died. Except there'd be two more villains with the name mutated into him by a virus. One of which also died. Point is, that name is oddly apt for characters who decay flesh and tend to die. They're open here too. As long as they only have two customers and one clerk in the store at any one time (no really). Then there was the point where stripclubs were open but strippers were required to "wash their hands between lap-dances". Which incidentally nearly killed me when I read it. Really? That's your safety measure? Well, when you think about it, most FE settings resemble Medieval Europe. Europe loves football (or is that soccer). It only makes sense a Footballman would be loved by all. To be honest the last time I played through Three Houses was to test how ridiculously high I could get Raphael's defense/prt by combination of statboosters, etc. Long story short this is the (rather poorly recorded) result. Tested on hard because I wasn't doing something this stupid on maddening. Also because doing this is so far from optimal it's not funny. The original reason for crime. Greed. Happy Axel man is demonstrating why he loves his work. He's just good at it. Either that or he's from Bizarro-world and considers insults compliments. Try complimenting him and see what happens. See, his insults get better as his level grows. By endgame he should be capable of verbal smackdowns just a few notches less savage than Eugen. Yep. Because that worked out so well for him the first time. You'd think he'd wise up and use hide to avoid dying. Is he provoking Graff or Christine here? I thought you hated particles? Obviously not smart. Or he wouldn't have thought it a good idea to reduce his defense to 0. He's either trying to use provoke himself, or the laziest man on Earth. He will take his revenge... when you get to him. You say this after we witness a thief not just hide the rest of the fight after failing once, and Graff getting baited... though I guess Graff is dead. To mourn the Reesent loss of a boss kill. (I had to squeeze in a pun. I ran out of update without one).
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