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The Roger The Paladin

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About The Roger The Paladin

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    Unleash the The

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  • Interests
    Archery, Arthurian legend, Nordic mythology, Greco-roman mythology, pointless facts about extinct animals.
  • Location
    Under the The

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  • Favorite Fire Emblem Game
    Shadow Dragon

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  1. Time traveller Kaga theory confirmed. Possibly. Is there now a theory that Runan and Holmes promotions somehow caused Harvey Dent's coin to be marred in some kind of crossover butterfly effect? I was actually implicating Holmes was the marred side of the coin. Kind of a bad reflection of Runan. Mind Dent was pretty damaged from before the acid, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. A 90s telling of his origin showed the reason for the double-headed silver dollar was because his abusive father used to offer him a chance to avoid the beating if he could get tails on a coin-flip. When he gave Dent the coin years later... it became obvious why he could never win. Sort of like Ruben with 1% crits. That said... I've never seen anyway to take Nomah or Luthier into endgame without them being a liability due to being doubled easily. Booey and Clive used to be on this list... but then I had runs which kind of fixed that. Valbar... I don't know how he survived in retrospect but the witches kept targetting other units due to their wonky AI. He most likely invented it. Like telling someone in battle he was Arkis, putting on a fake fight, and faking death so that they wouldn't kill Lina, only to rejoin the moment she was safe? Mind you Lentzenheimer is enough of a scumbag I'm surprised there wasn't an order to kill Lina the moment Arkis had left because he didn't expect him back. Well, look at Lina's stats. She could probably die to a paper cut. The actual Morgan from Binding Blade... who kind of was a loose end last LP because of being from the non-canon Route B. The guy who, by being a palette swap boss with no plot significance, became a joke about being the most generic boss in Fire Emblem (to the point Ruben reinforces this with endless palette swaps of him on generic enemy portraits). So in irony the most plot irrelevant character of all time becomes plot relevant thanks to Ruben.... taking the joke full circle. This is a brick joke that started last LP in Chapter 11B and has only finally landed. https://fireemblem.fandom.com/wiki/Morgan_(The_Binding_Blade)
  2. Raise the luck cap higher than the self-harm formula for the devil axe by one point, bring it back, and then voila. You get enough luck that the thing won't backfire and it goes from being a risky weapon to a pretty great one.... for anyone with capped luck. Endgame is ruined. I know, it's not the most balanced solution, but I just want an excuse to bring in the devil axe again... in a non-remake. Seriously, last time we saw it outsider of remakes was Sacred Stones. What's up with that?
  3. You need to get an S-rank in every category across the board, even the ones that contradict other ones. To do this you have to follow every rule of every Holy Text ever written, even the one I'm intending to make up as a joke, to the letter. This is despite the fact the one I'm intending to write basically requiring you to break key rules of every other one because I'm secretly an edgy teenager who thinks Vega from TRS is the best character. How many minutes per second have you traveled?
  4. "The Rasputin" sounds like a good compromise. Seeing as my character's kind of a parody as is, can we call the chapter "Far from the Forest", and consequently have a lack of forest tiles therein to help with the reference? Though, of course I mostly just want to see the name used for a chapter, so if anyone else wants it really bad, it's theirs. Just thought the forum joke might fit better with the lunatic who thinks he can be a Camus while failing to actually have any of the qualities a Camus is supposed to have apart from refusing to be recruited for a reason that is illogical on closer examination.
  5. It suits him. When you go from never having used a sword to that in between battles, you have to wonder why he was using a bow to begin with. Looks to me like Mycen's long lost brother. Wait... that Morgan is the real Morgan? What a twist! It all makes sense now. You set this up ever since starting to use Morgan clones right back last LP so we would be used to Morgans being no one important. And here we are. The original Morgan. Well, I see what you meant about the other thing way back when I joked about Martel coming back for vengeance.
  6. Of course. This site is entirely dedicated to containing all those Golden Age/Silver Age stories from comics that have had the trademark lapse. My personal favourite is the "Steel Sterling" origin from Zip Comics (also by Charles Biro), where the protagonist gets Superman-esque invulnerability... by diving into a vat of molten steel. Which, of course would be sufficiently heated that you'd liquify your flesh before you ever made contact. Actually I'll include a picture of that because it's great. https://comicbookplus.com/?cid=1507 I'm actually not sure beyond the Jack O'Lantern taking it's name from the myth. Back in high school I had two incidents I assume were sleep paralysis. The former, I woke up to these strange inhuman figures in my room. I can't give a good description because of the darkness, but a voice in my mind told me "go back to sleep", and when I failed to instantly comply I felt a shock through my body not different from being zapped with one of those trick pens. The second incident was a little stranger, because it involved this unusual woman-thing (while it looked human my mind screamed it was a succubus due to the purple glow it gave off). When it tried to force itself on me, if you get my meaning, I overcame the paralysis to stab it in the chest with the knife I kept in my bedframe (due to a phobia of burglars), and kicked it off as I sat up. It tore what I'd describe as a portal (though to what I couldn't see, whatever was on the other side just emitted that same purple glow, but stronger) in the back of my door and disappeared through it. I've tried to write it off as sleep paralysis hallucinations or a dream ever since... but there's two issues. That door is typically left open, but it was definitely shut now (a feat considering it doesn't shut properly unless you put some force to it), and the knife in question was now absent from my bedframe. To this day, over a decade hence, I have never found it again. Funny that. "The smell of fresh exhaust fumes, the crash of the sound barrier, and with my co-pilot by my side, we'd sing, sing, sing". I'd do a lumberjack song parody, but honestly any punchline would amount to the obvious (Holmes is an idiot). Vikings who want to go to Vahalla, people wanting to die knowing the limits of their strength, Eugen... Eugen confirmed for Viking. Hence why he's so SAVAGE. Does that coin happen to be a silver dollar belonging to one Harvey Dent? Because one side of that coin is definitely looking a lot worse than the other. Well, if Attrom is... we've got a possible filler for that ending that's broken without him. Plot twist. Kaga's a time traveller. That's how he does everything first.
  7. In my case I imagine the dialogue would entirely be based around my notion the game needs a Camus and Eclipse (or anyone else who might have a conversation with me for that matter) stating how warped my logic is... to absolutely no avail as "I'm a Camus. I don't care about your "logic"." Which was meant to be a template kind of line to work with... but I think I like it enough for it to be in the game. I personally think "The Roger" is a fine name for the character, but Rasputin is fine and fitting too, as long as the chapter theme is a Boney M song. I think I'd enjoy that too much. Inevitably, even if that's not possible, I'm going to have to play that song while doing the chapter.
  8. Banned for banning someone for a reason that applies to themself.
  9. Oh, I like the idea, it's just I'd have liked it more as a sidequest I think. More so because it would have meant not going back to gyorg surrounded Tingle island and dealing with Tingle unless I wanted to. Something about those things scared the crap out of me as a kid. (the Gyorgs, not the loon who thinks he's a fairy) It's funny in retrospect how easy they are to deal with. On Majora's Mask, I actually liked the sidequests because I didn't like the main Dungeons (with the exception of Stone Tower). There was nothing inherently wrong with the Woodfall temple, but it was unremarkable. I found Snowhead a bit sleep inducing (I think it's the music to be honest), and the Great Bay... well I enjoy it more than the previous water temple... but that's not saying much. To me the sidequests were the main attraction and the dungeons were kind of just these prequisites that I'd go through to get to them. An odd way of looking at it, but it's worked for me for years. An ironic mindset that. Then again, I largely held a similar one every time I dealt with a Great Beast in Breath of The Wild (this'll change this area/open up new sidequests).
  10. Tell me about it. I can understand it with Majora or Breath of the Wild. The former was made in a short development time and focused more on sidequests, whereas the latter was focused on exploration and an open world (thus breaking with the usual Zelda conventions). Wind Waker kind of tried to keep the conventions but at the same time was a bit lacking in dungeons, instead padding out the game with that whole "get charts and pull the Triforce pieces out of the ocean" bit. Which I felt was a real pace killer. Actually out of everything I think that's the single part that bugs me most. The sad part being I probably wouldn't have minded something similar as a sidequest, but in the main story it felt out of place.
  11. So I came here with a list of games I wanted to rag on, but found pretty much every single one had been done by someone else first. Seeing as this is the case, I've decided to quote comments and add my own thoughts. I also want to add Ratchet and Clank as a series. I know other people like it, but as it goes something about weapons system bugs me. It's just so many of them feel there to give an illusion of more options rather than to serve any kind of actual function. There's usually one or two that are particularly useful, and the broken RHYNO variant you have to grind for, but as a whole they are almost... meaningless. Though perhaps that was the point. Pretty much me. Which made my teenage years hell. Apart from oddities like Metroid Prime or the Darkness I have no real love for this genre. To be honest, I didn't much care for the Mario Karts/Mario parties going back to the beginning. Even the ones I liked as a kid kind of lost their shine on growing older. While our reasons are different, I despised RSE (the water heavy map). Seriously the lack of variety in late Game Ruby/Sapphire thanks to the fact they had to have about half the map be water due to the whole "Groudon/Kyogre" plot ruined it for me. It also made training anything that was weak to water hell in late game. Yeah, I never quite got the appeal of playing a character who in all essence was a colossal douchebag with father issues as he goes around violently killing mythological entities. I mean if I wanted the violence, I kind of already had Mortal Kombat. I always thought of that as a meme franchise myself. The only one that had any selling point was the gamecube one for the in game NES games... which ultimately ended up irrelevant thanks to the virtual console. While I'm one of those fans for Majora's Mask... I'll heartily agree on the Wind Waker. Sailing is boring and even the swift sail in the HD remake wasn't enough to get me through a replay. Which is sad, because there are parts of the game I like. I actually came here to single out the Street Fighter series as inferior fighters lacking either the charm/control of others in the genre. Mind I'm not a big fighting game fan, but I'm of the opinion Killer Instinct, Mortal Kombat, or even Clay Fighter had something I enjoyed and this series just lacks it. Same boat. That tutorial kills my interest so fast it hurts.
  12. Eh. Let's go with the moving Manakete route, and just have me appear once. Seeing as we won't have two appearances, I'll just have to go straight down the "Camus that is loyal to the concept of there being the archetype" parody. Thinking about it, maybe put pavise or miracle (if miracle's a thing) on me to represent my stupid luck at avoiding dying from being impaled. You had better have a pretty incredible beard if you want to use that holy name (or have a legion of singing bugs following you around preferably singing rasputin) Well, my beard is getting there... but what I do definitely have, and have had since birth, is the legendary wild eyes. Surprisingly useful in a rough spot. Now watch as no one ever talks to me again because I look as unhinged as the old name suggests.
  13. Name: Rasputin (figuring Roger is would be too similar to an existing character and Mad Manakete is generic, I've decided to go with a name based off "the Mad Monk". Class: Paladin/Manakete (Ideally one battle each, but if we can only fit one, I'll go Manakete) Weapon Type: Axes (we can do axe paladins right?)/Dragon stone Main Weapon: Devil Axe (or silver axe if we can't do devil axes)/Magestone  Items to drop and/or steal(in order of preference): Devil/Silver Axe (as paladin), Speedwings (as manakete) Backstory: A bit unhinged, this mad-man(akete) has become a living parody of elements of the Fire Emblem series, whether it be Camuses, plot irrelevant manaketes, asset reuse, carrying stat-boosters instead of using them, etc. Gameplay: Basically the idea is I'm introduced as a mid-game Paladin boss/sub-boss (you can do named enemies with better stats right?), and come back late-game as a Manakete boss for no reason to make a ridiculous joke about asset reuse (in this case my portrait). Initially I deny being the same guy again in my boss conversation... but just admit to it in my death quote. In my Paladin phase, I'm just a parody of the Camus archetype, except instead of being loyal to the cause, I'm loyal to the idea that the games should have a Camus archetype, leading to my boss conversation essentially being me refusing to be recruited for the reason that the game needs a Camus or it's not a real Fire Emblem. I'll leave the actual skills/stats up to discretion of what fits the game. I'm also kind of guessing here because I don't know the SRPG studio limitations... so I'm kind of hoping this is possible. As said, if the Paladin phase can be a sub-boss in someone else's chapter, that suits me. Mostly because I don't want to take up two for the gag. If it can't, I'll see what I can come up with.
  14. What are you talking about? I'm right there in Team 4. @Pengaius is suddenly straight for Arkis. Lentzenheimer probably is the type where consent is a turn-off. Yes, the implication there is intentional. He's scum. This is art. This was the crowning achievement of the brilliant dumbass' life. I stand corrected. This is art. *All the readers except me, Hawkwing and Butterman. Because I'm dead because go figure carrying three litres of water everywhere wasn't enough. Yeah well, look at how ridiculous this time line got. Up until he killed Dougy, I imagine you would have preferred Arkis winning to the Horseman. Honestly, I just felt like referencing that guy, given last year it used to be inane top tens/"x is a rip-off of y" threads until inevitably he forced the ban with the very post you quoted. Besides, you brought it to mind with "master race" talk. Mind you, every time I hear "hobbits" that thread pops into mind these days (given they were one of the fictional races listed) There's an incredible meta-joke to a list of jokes not containing General Lawrence when his absence in game is what caused the joke in the first place. Doubly so when it was unintended. Yeah, I'm thinking you just got the help group for "ex-minions of brilliant dumbasses" by mistake. Or perhaps the "Four Horsemen" club in hell, which is kind of like a biker's gang, but with Horsemen, and in hell. And the name's a lie because there's more than 4 of them. Yeah, but I couldn't not make a joke about the fact there was an outlaw by the name of Richard Barter who went by the alias "Rattlesnake Dick". Eugen succeeds, but Arkis isn't using his head anyway, so you don't lose a unit. Is Kaga low key having a dig at what he did with Abel and Est? Or is the intended use for Lina and Arkis as the shopkeeps? Little harsh... on Lina anyway. Kaga does it first: Pengauis jokes edition. I've got my suggestion in my name. It's not changing. He's not been dead long, so issues with level shouldn't be as severe as with someone like Attrom, Sharon or Juliatisnacordst who died earlier and Mel would probably appreciate it. Lionel would also be a solid candidate, but his name's not as fun, and as you said... he had started to be average. Having addressed the competition I believe my argument is solid (after all, you've established Krishna and Letena, Indiana Jones is immune for some reason, and Lee is safeLee in the army in this route)
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