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Azzurohr

I bloody knew I'd have to do this...

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(BIG SIGH)

Okay. To clear it out in the open so there are absolutely NO misconceptions or interpretations of my actions yesterday AND perceptions about who I am as a person over what I have done. 

First of all, I am both sorry and not sorry for the "drama" my actions have caused. Sorry that it has happened for all of us, including myself, yes, but not sorry for calling @Anacybele out on her behaviour in the eventual way I have. Drama had already been started by her in that thread; and drama had been caused by her recently as well and people already in these past few weeks in particular, had called her out on this and "trolled her" as such. I didn't even troll her however, or write my initial comment before replying her TO transpire the reply I have done. It was outright her being hostile towards my friend that transpired me to do it. The closest I have ever got to trolling her was mention how certain people hate characters who interfere with their ships; and actually, that even was me calling her out on that mindset. I have had Ana on ignore from the moment I stepped in these forums so I would not ever have to do such a thing; but alas, it has happened...and I suppose, it really was to be inevitable. I guess I should never have tried in the first place. 

Secondly, I have known Ana for years before even coming on this forum, but she is not why I have stayed away from it. I stayed away because I have been staying away from Fire Emblem Fandom as a whole, because it has proven to me to be beyond negative. It has constant wars between veterans and newbies using fuel to make the other look bad from the games and drama seeking due to these notions. Intelligent Systems failing to address and balance new and old fans has been the downfall of the tightness of this fandom. They are doing it now, but unfortunately, they have done it too late and the damage has been done. I wish I could have hope for this fandom to come together, but the rate I've seen it at, it will not happen again. The one reason I joined this forum in April/May however, is because I was encouraged by my friend to do so (and I can't guarantee that I can hide who you are either and keep you out of this, I'm so sorry for failing if it is so...)

Onto the actual point of me knowing about Ana for years yet not ever interacting with her; not only has my friend shown me the so many instances she and others have been attacked by Ana, but I have seen instances even on Twitter and other social media platforms of Ana's behaviour. My post and opinion on Ana has been formed from all of this; she in my eyes, has behaved and done actions that are worthy of her being banned on this forum, let alone suspended; and every time I have heard of a moderator trying to get through to her, she has not listened. She has not listened and she has not changed from any time she has been called out by other people for her actions; which are immediately becoming hostile to those who even speak kindly of disliking Ike, or speak of disliking Ike or Ike/Elincia without meaning for it to be a personal attack against her OR to provoke her. That, is entirely on Ana herself and something she does to herself. She lets it get to her and then she goes on to hurt and anger the people of this forum from what I have observed. 

Thirdly, people are saying I am using others to defend myself. Why the hell would I make myself a hypocrite by calling out Ana on using her autism to excuse her behaviour in the very same post? I used people as EXAMPLES, not to defend myself. I did not go in writing that post knowing the pros and cons of it, let alone what my consequences would be. I went in there with one intention; calling Ana out and standing up for myself and actually quite a few friends aside my dearest one in that thread among so much more. 

Fourthly, I can see why people would think I abused/bullied Ana by questioning why she hasn't been banned from this site. Let me clear up that that was actually a LITERAL question; why hasn't she banned, or if not banned at least suspended, for her behaviours on this site? So much of what she's done falls under that and especially when other people have called her out and called her to stop, let alone try to correct her; and each time she does, she plays the victim instead of accepting the consequences of her actions and learning from them. I even question if her goodbye is yet again, just another ploy of her playing victim. 

Fifthly, I do not say she uses autism to excuse her behaviour on a whim. I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome when I was 17 years old, on the week of my graduation on a Wednesday at a 3pm appointment, if you REALLY need me to prove that I'm not joking for validation. If Ana had used her autism to explain her behaviour and not as an excuse, then it would be completely fine, but she hasn't. It is never okay to use your disability to excuse your actions, let alone anything at all. Also, mistakes and consequences made in life are generally very harsh. They make you cry, they make you sweat and feel like you've broken an arm or leg. Then you get patched up and given a crutch to stand on with two choices; go on with the crutch until you're off it, or stay on it. Ana so far, has stayed on the crutch. Will she eventually escalate to coming off it, or even do so after what I've said to her? Who knows. All I have done is warn her that I will call her out if she treats any of my friends with disrespect ever again or tries to weasel out. 

Lastly, to clarify who I am and why I am here. I came here encouraged by my friend, as I said. I came here to talk Fire Emblem, express thoughts and opinions just like the rest of you, find new friends and literally what all of us are here to do. I did not come here to see people treated horribly or do so myself, which is what I saw Ana do. I'm someone who loves Lucia, who loves Lucia/Elincia (in BOTH ways) and loves expressing/talking about them just as Ana does, but not to the point of being hostile and hating people who don't like them and hating those people's favourite characters and ships in tandem of it. I love music and I love video games. I'm generally a very laid back person yet I am also someone who does not take bullshit as I have very clearly shown. I love streaming my games and sharing my gaming experiences with everyone. 

If some of you, after all this, feel the need to still call me out on my actions/behaviour, go ahead. Maybe for all I know, I could actually agree with you on something. I'm someone who values learning from their mistakes, so far I have seen I've done none, but if I find that in fact I have, I'll accept and apologise in agreement. I believe in improving myself as a person very close to my heart. 

However, if you take this further and try to defame me on social media such as compelling people not to watch me as a Twitch Streamer among so many other things that can be done, know that I am ready for you and when I say I am, I don't mean I will do the same. I only believe in calling out people on troublesome behaviours, NOT defaming them everywhere and stalking them like a leech; you can have a look and see I have not even spread out not to interact with Ana anywhere else on social media. I'm not about to blot out Ana's social life forever, her behaviour deserves to be called out and she must face the consequences of them, but certainly doesn't deserve to have her life destroyed in it's entirety in the process. If she doesn't want to accept her actions or learn from them, then she at least must realise or be aware of her consequences and what it will do for her, which has started with me. Lucia was captured by Ludveck because she became reckless and over-confident, but she didn't deserve to die for it did she? 

As for those who understand...well...I'll be relieved and pleased then. 

But to all of you, this is a complete clearing up of my actions and who I intend to be. This is the honest truth and no lie at all, word for word from me. Knowing that this is the truth surrounding myself and my actions, no matter how you feel about it from me, is all I need know. Perhaps if to you I am still too much trouble and this will never clear, I myself may even leave this place and make my own way; I said Ana can still keep in touch in social media, so can I. But, I'll leave you all to that verdict. All I have intended to do with this post is clear up any misconceptions made on myself on what I have done.

Regards,
Azzurohr

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You know, I won't say I disagree with your evaluation of Ana's character; I read your first "outburst" and nodded.

But you're blowing this way out of proportion as well. You didn't need to make a new thread and type us an essay explaining to us your character and personality, and apologize for starting drama, because starting a new thread is how you start more drama. If you haven't already noticed, absolutely no moderator action has happened despite your long post yesterday and Ana's leaving thread.

Because frankly, no one gives a fuck.

Edited by SatsumaFSoysoy

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4 minutes ago, SatsumaFSoysoy said:

You know, I won't say I disagree with your evaluation of Ana's character; I read your first "outburst" and nodded.

But you're blowing this way out of proportion as well. You didn't need to make a new thread and type us an essay explaining to us your character and personality, and apologize for starting drama, because starting a new thread is how you start more drama. If you haven't already noticed, absolutely no moderator action has happened despite your long post yesterday and Ana's leaving thread.

Because frankly, no one gives a fuck.

I mainly made this post because of Ana's goodbye thread with some people interpretation my actions and also with HylianHero's lash out at me, not to start drama. Cause hell, even the misinterpretations could cause even more drama. How many bloody times do I need to say I am not trying to start drama when I'm trying to clear the damn air for crying out loud...

And to be frank, the fact no one gives a fuck and no moderator has made action, is very poor moderation of these forums on that note, cause stuff like this should be. I came in here expected as much with the hard rules of the forums laid out. That gave me the impression that this is a gravely moderated place; but I guess that was a deception now, wasn't it?

Edited by Azzurohr

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1 minute ago, Azzurohr said:

I mainly made this post because of Ana's goodbye thread with some people interpretation my actions and also with HylianHero's lash out at me, not to start drama. Cause hell, even the misinterpretations could cause even more drama. How many bloody times do I need to say I am not trying to start drama when I'm trying to clear the damn air for crying out loud...

And to be frank, the fact no one gives a fuck and no moderator has made action, is very poor moderation of these forums on that note. 

The only forum I've been to that has strict moderation regarding feuds between members is meant for 10~12 year olds.

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Just now, SatsumaFSoysoy said:

The only forum I've been to that has strict moderation regarding feuds between members is meant for 10~12 year olds.

To be frank no matter your age there should be moderation to be honest. 

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4 minutes ago, Azzurohr said:

To be frank no matter your age there should be moderation to be honest. 

Age is just a number; if I have to be clear, I'm saying you're just as immature as Ana.

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Just now, SatsumaFSoysoy said:

Technically, yes.

Speak for yourself, I haven't been a teenager in nearly a decade

Can we all just agree to stop making emotional wallposts

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I'm of the opinion that lighter moderation is better. Avoid thread derails and be decent to one another. Mods should only respond when people are being unnecessarily nasty, and it takes two to tango.

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4 hours ago, SatsumaFSoysoy said:

Age is just a number; if I have to be clear, I'm saying you're just as immature as Ana.

In what way am I as immature as her? I'd really like to know. Like I said, I'm someone who likes to grow from mistakes as a person, so please, tell me why you believe I'm as immature as her.

Edited by Azzurohr

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4 minutes ago, Azzurohr said:

In what way am I as immature as her? I'd really like to know. Like I said, I'm someone who likes to grow from mistakes as a person, so please, tell me why you believe I'm as immature as her.

Well you made a thread dedicated to clearing stuff up when you could have PM'd her, or made another post in her thread OR just let it go

it just looks like you're trying to grab more attention XD

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6 hours ago, Azzurohr said:

Fifthly, I do not say she uses autism to excuse her behaviour on a whim. I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome when I was 17 years old, on the week of my graduation on a Wednesday at a 3pm appointment, if you REALLY need me to prove that I'm not joking for validation. If Ana had used her autism to explain her behaviour and not as an excuse, then it would be completely fine, but she hasn't. It is never okay to use your disability to excuse your actions, let alone anything at all. Also, mistakes and consequences made in life are generally very harsh. They make you cry, they make you sweat and feel like you've broken an arm or leg. Then you get patched up and given a crutch to stand on with two choices; go on with the crutch until you're off it, or stay on it. Ana so far, has stayed on the crutch. Will she eventually escalate to coming off it, or even do so after what I've said to her? Who knows. All I have done is warn her that I will call her out if she treats any of my friends with disrespect ever again or tries to weasel out.

You do know people deal with mental conditions quite differently, don't you? Just saying.

I'm diagnosed with depression. My depression is not anyone else's depression. The symptoms are consistent with what other depressive people feel but people have different coping mechanisms as well as different life experiences. Just because you supposedly learn from your mistakes (I don't know you so I can't judge you) doesn't mean others can do it without difficulty. That's why it's called an autism spectrum.

From the way you speak, you sound like Ana is an absolutely horrible person. I won't deny Ana is very difficult to deal with when she gets invested in the fandom, and she's a fair bit immature for her age, but let's not pretend people haven't been horrible to her as well, including people who she thought were helping her but were being harsh for the sake of being harsh (you know who you are, I won't call you out), and including even myself at one point as I had little idea how to deal with someone like her. In fact, the way she gets defensive over the things she likes does not seem related to her autism, as I find that people who went through a lot of abuse (such as myself, both on and offline) do get quite defensive as well and don't take criticism nicely. Her autism, however, does make things harder for her.

I don't think your post was called for, nor that it was particularly relevant, but as her friend I feel necessary to stand up for her because, although I'm aware of her mistakes, there's a lot of crap people throw at her that really makes me frustrated. And I would expect a bit more sympathy from someone who claims to have the same condition as her.

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2 minutes ago, Cerberus87 said:

You do know people deal with mental conditions quite differently, don't you? Just saying.

I'm diagnosed with depression. My depression is not anyone else's depression. The symptoms are consistent with what other depressive people feel but people have different coping mechanisms as well as different life experiences. Just because you supposedly learn from your mistakes (I don't know you so I can't judge you) doesn't mean others can do it without difficulty. That's why it's called an autism spectrum.

From the way you speak, you sound like Ana is an absolutely horrible person. I won't deny Ana is very difficult to deal with when she gets invested in the fandom, and she's a fair bit immature for her age, but let's not pretend people haven't been horrible to her as well, including people who she thought were helping her but were being harsh for the sake of being harsh (you know who you are, I won't call you out), and including even myself at one point as I had little idea how to deal with someone like her. In fact, the way she gets defensive over the things she likes does not seem related to her autism, as I find that people who went through a lot of abuse (such as myself, both on and offline) do get quite defensive as well and don't take criticism nicely. Her autism, however, does make things harder for her.

I don't think your post was called for, nor that it was particularly relevant, but as her friend I feel necessary to stand up for her because, although I'm aware of her mistakes, there's a lot of crap people throw at her that really makes me frustrated. And I would expect a bit more sympathy from someone who claims to have the same condition as her.

I was trying to make a post similar to this one. I just couldn't find the proper words. Most of the posts in that thread are throwing shade, and yours was no different, Azzurohr. Also, if you're going to call out my behavior, at least spell my username right. I will admit that I said some nasty shit, particularly to you, but I wasn't finding the right words to say (I really need to stop posting before bed, I say shit that I end up regretting a lot of the time.) Luckily, Cerberus summed up what I was trying to.

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47 minutes ago, Arcanite said:

Well you made a thread dedicated to clearing stuff up when you could have PM'd her, or made another post in her thread OR just let it go

I'm going to have to echo this. This thread just looks like unnecessary drama. I'm sure that's not how you intended it, but that's how it comes across.

Like I said before, it's better to take it a step back now.

5 hours ago, hanhnn said:

Are you all teenagers?

Not me, I turned twenty last month!!!!

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