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Tryhard

Depression

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6 hours ago, Soul~! said:

The feelings of depression come in a sort of snowball effect. Eating like shit and not taking care of yourself in most other areas in general just add up to themselves. I'm not stranger to depression, but I do find that at least trying to clean myself up and keeping my sorroundings at least somewhat needs really helps the mind. It's a start, even if it's not *the* problem. Same goes with poor eating habits and extreme sedentarism. You really don't want to go down that route. Since you're young now, change these small habits that will make a world's difference in the future.

As for anything else in relation to overcoming sedentarism, "fitness" and the like, I could help you form something when you're ready to talk about it.

You just don't get the point. A depressed person DOES NOT have the energy to do ANYTHING. And poor eating habits may have a different cause from depression, it's just augmented by it because when a person is depressive they desperately seek means to overcome it and compulsion is one of them.

I agree with making small steps, but for some people it's difficult to do even that. Which is why sometimes you have to put gasoline in the tank (i.e. take meds). It's a combination treatment, pick your choice of psychological therapy and the antidepressant that best suits you.

The biggest thing that makes difference is asserting yourself before the professional you see. Last year I went down a wrong route with medication and had one of the worst crisis of my life. It was only with persistence, and firmly telling my psychiatrist that the old antidepressant was better, that I was able to go back to it. It also helped that I changed to another therapist better suited to my needs in the meantime, so it was actually a blessing in disguise.

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Just recently, I got depressed due to my new 3DS top screen display being messy and I can't get it cleaned out. I have recovered from it a bit but I'm still worried if my dad will agree to buy me another. My bro is fine with buying another(and even promised me so) but in the end, its my dad that has to get it since he's the one who wants to get things for us most of the time.

Luckily, I have another 3DS XL so atleast playing a lot of the games won't be an issue, but that's not the "New" one meaning that I can't transfer back from New to the old XL. So I have issue in terms of playing eshop games.

 

 

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On 12/9/2017 at 6:02 AM, Skynstein said:

You just don't get the point. A depressed person DOES NOT have the energy to do ANYTHING. And poor eating habits may have a different cause from depression, it's just augmented by it because when a person is depressive they desperately seek means to overcome it and compulsion is one of them.

I agree with making small steps, but for some people it's difficult to do even that. Which is why sometimes you have to put gasoline in the tank (i.e. take meds). It's a combination treatment, pick your choice of psychological therapy and the antidepressant that best suits you.

Oh, trust me, I understand. You're excuse basically makes any further advice moot. I'll give the guy advice because I have fucking been there myself, and I know even the tiniest of a detail like that is capable of making an actual difference, as opposed to just showering in one's own slob, even further dropping down the cycle.

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4 minutes ago, Soul~! said:

Oh, trust me, I understand. You're excuse basically makes any further advice moot. I'll give the guy advice because I have fucking been there myself, and I know even the tiniest of a detail like that is capable of making an actual difference, as opposed to just showering in one's own slob, even further dropping down the cycle.

If you really think people with depression can't get out of their rut because they "make excuses", then you have a really crappy view on the subject, sorry. Speaking from experience here. Actual one.

As for my current situation, I assure you it's a lot better than it used to be, but it not only frustrates me to see people with the same opinion as you speaking about depression, it angers me.

Edited by Skynstein

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Just now, Skynstein said:

If you really think people with depression can't get out of their rut because they "make excuses", then you have a really crappy view on the subject, sorry. Speaking from experience here. Actual one.

Did I actually say that? Never. I was talking about you calling me out on something the guy already explained on his own post. He said, himself, he doesn't have motivation for anything, I saw. We all did. Is that a cue for us to stop giving advice? Fuck no. Now, lay off. I'm actually trying help, in case you didn't notice.

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1 minute ago, Soul~! said:

Did I actually say that? Never. I was talking about you calling me out on something the guy already explained on his own post. He said, himself, he doesn't have motivation for anything, I saw. We all did. Is that a cue for us to stop giving advice? Fuck no. Now, lay off. I'm actually trying help, in case you didn't notice.

And you think I haven't been doing exactly that? The exact post in reply to you had much advice to Tryhard, just because it wasn't aimed directly at him, doesn't mean I wasn't actually trying to help him.

I was speaking of my experience. People deal with depression differently. In fact, the same med I use right now is known to have the opposite effect in other people. It's a very particular condition without a scripted, nor even definite, solution.

The quality of the therapy itself is also an important factor. The therapist is a person, you must get along with them and you must believe in their proposed treatment. If trust is broken, the treatment can progress no further.

I went down a rocky path but now I'm confident I'm back on track, so I'm just sharing what I've learned, as I find it may be of use to everyone. Leaving depression behind is as much the professional's effort as it is the patient's, but some patients are trickier than others. I'm one of the trickier ones. ;)

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I too graduated with a CS degree but I have no confidence in my programming abilities. It was hard being a CS major because a lot people around me just generally knew more things than I did so I felt incompetent around them even though some of these people are my friends. It was really hard for me to keep studying CS. I had to retake 2 fundamental classes(one per semester) on top of my regular course load because it was that bad. Luckily it fit into my schedule but junior year of college was hard. It got to the point where I barely had time to go to much of anything because of my schedule: classes, RA, and working part time on campus. Senior year of college was a wake up call for me. Being conflicted about what I wanted to do in life and trying to salvage my CS skills caused my a lot of sleepless nights to the point I dreaded sleeping because I had nothing to keep me occupied. The wake up call was when I needed medical attention. I was working part time at the mail center on campus and it was the closing shift so my supervisors have all went home. I usually would have brushed it off but I was coughing too severely to let it go even though I was kinda resistant to the thought that I needed help. Eventually I asked some people to call for help and was subsequently driven to the ER. Granted nothing major happened, that experience gave me a wake up call. CS was giving me too much stress and I didn't want to admit it and was afraid to that letting go made me feel like I was worth nothing. Luckily I was studying that I liked at the same time so it pulled me through even though that had its strives too but never to the point of stress CS was giving me. I have since then let go of CS and it has definitely helped but my parents not supporting what I want to do(I want to be a linguistics professor) doesn't help but I'm getting by. First 2 months moving back home was rough though. Argued with my mom basically on a semi-daily basis because she kept wanting to get a CS job and I just couldn't bring myself to do something that I knew was gonna give me so much stress. 

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing something so personal with us. Don't know if my words mean anything to you but I hope things work out for you. 

Edited by tobuShogi

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5 hours ago, Soul~! said:

Thank you. Snowflake.

come on, now

undoubtedly exercise and being more active would make me feel at least a little better. but he's right that while I may be making excuses on my own part, any ideas that might help are defeated in my mind before they can make any progress. I'm working from 10-6 weekdays and backshifts on other weeks from 2-10pm. I don't want to exercise before work, either because it would involve waking up early and I already feel like I only have enough energy to work and come home, and by the time I get home... doing so outside or travelling to a gym after 6 doesn't exactly appeal to me either, never mind after 10. I can't really have a treadmill or something in my current situation. and the weekends or holidays I have i'd rather spend relaxing or being lazy, or thinking that the idea is pointless because I will never follow through with doing it. thus, the idea is defeated before I can ever achieve it. this follows other negative ideas about life.

while I would admit that I'm overall pretty ignorant on the subject, I don't think depression is one way for every person. It might be combined with my personality that I can be rather aloof, distant, very introverted, and unmotivated. I'm sure these things would at least help me a little, but it becomes a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy when I refuse to follow through with them, and one that I'm aware of.

to be honest, i'm not really sure of the differences between a psychologist, psychiatrist, or in general a therapist that would be able to help me. like I said, I did pay for a private session for a psychologist, but while he suggested I could ask for more sessions in the future, I left it at that for now. I'm not sure if it's just me that's unwilling to actually follow through when I get cold feet, if I'm even trying to look for the right type of help, or even if I'm willing to help myself.

Edited by Tryhard

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I have been depressed most of my life and to me it seems like every time I start to get my act together some thing happens to screw my life up.  I do try to look on the bright side but it is really hard some days since I have type one diabetes and I live in a city where there are mostly type two diabetics and every one makes fun of my health problems even though it was my immune system attacking my pancreas that caused my diabetes.  Even my dad told me once a shot makes it all better even though a shot is not a cure and is really just life support for me.  There are a lot of things I try to do to cheer myself up that tend to work some times, one of which is I cook most of my own food from scratch and no I don't buy expensive food to cook I buy what is on sale but I have come up with many recipes and at least I know what is in my food which at least helps my blood sugar.  I also like to listen to the Real Mckenzies and the Dropkick Murphys when I get really down because they have really good beats that tend to cheer me up.  I started doing yoga and it does help since part of it is emptying you mind and not thinking.  At least you are on the right path in that you know you have a problem and are getting help.  I guess I am just trying to say I know how you feel and that I am hoping that you can get to a better place.

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9 minutes ago, Tryhard said:

come on, now

Sorry. I felt a little defensive, there.

9 minutes ago, Tryhard said:

undoubtedly exercise and being more active would make me feel at least a little better. but he's right that while I may be making excuses on my own part, any ideas that might help are defeated in my mind before they can make any progress. I'm working from 10-6 weekdays and backshifts on other weeks from 2-10pm. I don't want to exercise before work, either because it would involve waking up early and I already feel like I only have enough energy to work and come home, and by the time I get home... doing so outside or travelling to a gym after 6 doesn't exactly appeal to me either, never mind after 10. I can't really have a treadmill or something in my current situation. and the weekends or holidays I have i'd rather spend relaxing or being lazy, or thinking that the idea is pointless because I will never follow through with doing it. thus, the idea is defeated before I can ever achieve it. this follows other negative ideas about life.

while I would admit that I'm overall pretty ignorant on the subject, I don't think depression is one way for every person. It might be combined with my personality that I can be rather aloof, distant, very introverted, and unmotivated. I'm sure these things would at least help me a little, but it becomes a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy when I refuse to follow through with them, and one that I'm aware of.

Like I told Skynstein, I'm not necessarily calling you out on making excuses. I was referring to him at that moment.

Changes in your diet can start with very small tweaks, and doesn't even necessarily have to mean stuff that will take up your time. Simple changes like either laying off ramen noodles or switching from coke to water. Stuff like that, and about one thing at a time. As to actual excersise, it's also a lot less time-consuming than most people think as well as it can be approached through "baby steps". A literal walk in the park is a lot more refreshing and natural than walking 45 minutes on a treadmill, and not to mention that said refreshness can mean a lot for your mind. Never count this one out.

I'm more concerned on your backshift schedule, and it's actually very understandable. Even for an individual that isn't going through what you are, it isn't exactly the happiest of settings to spend most of your afternoon at work. Any chance you could look a better schedule on that part? At least a better balance on your weekend can help, even it's minuscule. You might even be able to fit 30-45 minutes of workout somewhere in there.

Lastly, I also know that depression isn't a one size fits all kind of fix. A lot of people seem to think that you can simply beat the depression out of someone, or that you can just "be strong" and shake it off. That's the kind of thinking that makes people think depression is just feeling sad and being weak.

 

I think I owe at least two people an apology for my small fit earlier.

@Skynstein, for, you know, basically being an ass. I sometimes react defensively when I'm being called out. Just rarely. I'm actually not always like that, so I do apologise.

And you, Tryhard, for throwing said fit a serious topic like this.

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I dunno, I think that's more or less accurate - making excuses. But nevertheless, I can see what you mean.

As for backshifts, I took it on myself when my work asked me to. Right now I do pretty much for a week every other week with this other guy. I said yes at the time because it didn't really bother me and I somewhat liked starting at 2 (and there's pretty much no-one in the office after 7), plus it is (some) extra money. It is more a question of my sleep schedule since I choose to go to sleep early in the morning and wake up at noon to get ready for backshift. There is an option to work from home some of the time as well, but there is already a fair amount of people who were there before me doing that and so I haven't really had a chance to. That and I don't really want to ask about these things - I'm mostly concerned with getting my work done even if I don't feel productive doing it.

I don't doubt your own experience, sorry if it seemed that way.

Edited by Tryhard

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I have random bouts myself. And certain things and people can make it worse and Idk when I’m there I am more likely to sort of look for lots of attention and have new friends but sometimes I just miss my old friends 

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Thank you for sharing.  I've been there too: feeling unmotivated, worthless, incompetent, drained, and just tired of life...  I take anti-depressants, which help, but they're not a band-aid for everything.  I feel like they make me more aware of my depression/anxiety (instead of my thoughts being clouded by it).  They help me get the push I need pull myself up from it.  I'm in a pretty good place now.  I actually tried going off the pills a couple years ago because they were kinda killing my sex drive, but my boyfriend/close friend urged me to go back on them because they were concerned about me.  I tried a different one, and now my drive has returned, so I guess the other one just wasn't a good fit. 

My close friends are aware that I take them, but I'm not comfortable just telling anyone.  (This is the internet where no one knows me, so whatever, haha.)  I told some acquaintances once and they were like "oh, so that's why you're so happy all the time."  I know they didn't mean that in a bad way, but it kind of stung.  It takes me a great deal of mental energy to seem "so happy" and it's something that is important to me.  I don't give the pills credit for that. 

Oddly enough, the thing that has helped my mood the most in the past few years has been taking up the hobby of crocheting.  I found it a little difficult at first (as with most new things I'm unfamiliar with), but I stuck with it and I'm so glad that I did.  (I have the problem of giving up and getting discouraged early if I'm not good at something.)  Anyway, I would highly recommend taking up a crafty hobby like this.  Once you get the hang of a new craft, it can be so therapeutic, and you feel productive because you have something to show for it at the end!  Also, it's easier to motivate yourself to do something like this since you can do it on the couch in the comfort of your own home.  :):  

You mentioned that working 40 hours a week feels like it doesn't leave you with enough time, and I have to say I agree.  I have a full time job, which I am thankful for, but I really wish work weeks were more like ~32 hours.  40 just feels like a lot... And, it bothers me that people are always trying to one-up each other!  If someone complains about being tired after working a long day, others will comment that they work like 60 hours a week and that 40 is "nothing".  This kind of attitude is toxic in my opinion, and working ourselves to death is not something that we should be proud of.  I'll stop there, though, since that's kind of a different topic I'm getting into.

Okay, I know this sounds cheesy, but never forget that you matter.  Your feelings matter, and your life matters.  You seem like a good person who is trying to get his life on the right path.  I'm rooting for you and have faith that you'll find your happiness. 

Edited by Infinite Dreams

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I am seriously under huge depression.

I never actually stated much of it though that 3DS thing depressed me for sometime and I outgrew that at some point. 

The main problem I have is dealing with my parents for the majority of the times.

I got autism which basically means not understanding a lot of life or practically means lack of spirituality. throughout my 25 years of my life, I have been stuck with my parents always complaining and ranting towards me for one reason or the other.

I got a job and despite that, they just force me to be stuck with them practically. Its ruining not just my lifestyle but also part of my freedom. These two just can't learn to start letting go. I have to go with them whenever they decide to go out to relatives and whatnot and while I'm least bothered about it now, the fact remains that they still do it when I don't even want to.

To get what I want, I still have to force myself to ask them for that even though I got a job. Granted, in my place, pay is poor and all but the fact that for something so cheap has to be under their seal of approval is over stretching it.

Currently, my grandma is stuck with me and she just doesn't let me get good sleep at nights making it practically impossible to get good sleep. I keep begging them to shift the bedroom to my room but they keep hesitating. My mom still thinks that if I can't put up with them, how can I possibly survive with others when I stay with them? Like what the hell does that suppose to mean? If you can't put up with people around you, you move elsewhere.

On top of all this, I feel no accomplishment in whatever I do both during work and when coming back. Mom practically bugs me every single time and these two one way or another will shout so loud that its hard to surf around at the PC even.

I want to go to therapy badly but mom just won't let me to. She wants me to lose weight and yet she's such a hypocrite that when I give her the best solutions, she says that its not needed(like a cycle from home to office since its distance is short or a trainer or some very intense diets).

The same goes with my dad. Almost very short tempered a lot of the times, orders around easily which I don't like the tone and simply does nothing when simple solutions like fixing the door bathroom take like years for him to fix.

Now to be fair, I do appreciate that they as of now have no issues in my desires...but that's not saying much because they make it sound like its a bad thing over and over again.

I don't know what to do at this point. My original plan is to get work experience for atleast 3 more years and after that, talk over to them about me settling abroad in US or something. If that doesn't work out, I don't know what will.

 

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19 hours ago, Harvey said:

(snip)

It sounds like you live outside of the US, so I'm honestly not sure what options are available to you.  Therapy definitely sounds like something that will help.  Can you afford it on your own?  At 25, your parents should have no say about your medical care.

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1 hour ago, eclipse said:

It sounds like you live outside of the US, so I'm honestly not sure what options are available to you.  Therapy definitely sounds like something that will help.  Can you afford it on your own?  At 25, your parents should have no say about your medical care.

Well in my place, most of the staff stick with parents due to pay being ludicrous. So Its not like I have an option to be on my own and if I do, its a hostel which for my work won't be efficient so I have to do someother type of job.

But thanks for your concern. Maybe we can do PM talk if you want to.

 

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Just now, Harvey said:

Well in my place, most of the staff stick with parents due to pay being ludicrous. So Its not like I have an option to be on my own and if I do, its a hostel which for my work won't be efficient so I have to do someother type of job.

But thanks for your concern. Maybe we can do PM talk if you want to.

 

I'm not sure how much help I will be.  IMO your best option is to seek help on your own, and use your own money to pay for it.  But I don't know if that's within your price range.  Unless there's some really weird laws I don't know about, parents generally aren't allowed to make health decisions for their adult children.

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1 minute ago, eclipse said:

I'm not sure how much help I will be.  IMO your best option is to seek help on your own, and use your own money to pay for it.  But I don't know if that's within your price range.  Unless there's some really weird laws I don't know about, parents generally aren't allowed to make health decisions for their adult children.

Yeah I guess that's my only option...guess I'm on my own in this. Again, thanks for the advice.

 

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On 9/13/2017 at 9:48 AM, Tryhard said:

come on, now

undoubtedly exercise and being more active would make me feel at least a little better. but he's right that while I may be making excuses on my own part, any ideas that might help are defeated in my mind before they can make any progress. I'm working from 10-6 weekdays and backshifts on other weeks from 2-10pm. I don't want to exercise before work, either because it would involve waking up early and I already feel like I only have enough energy to work and come home, and by the time I get home... doing so outside or travelling to a gym after 6 doesn't exactly appeal to me either, never mind after 10. I can't really have a treadmill or something in my current situation. and the weekends or holidays I have i'd rather spend relaxing or being lazy, or thinking that the idea is pointless because I will never follow through with doing it. thus, the idea is defeated before I can ever achieve it. this follows other negative ideas about life.

while I would admit that I'm overall pretty ignorant on the subject, I don't think depression is one way for every person. It might be combined with my personality that I can be rather aloof, distant, very introverted, and unmotivated. I'm sure these things would at least help me a little, but it becomes a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy when I refuse to follow through with them, and one that I'm aware of.

to be honest, i'm not really sure of the differences between a psychologist, psychiatrist, or in general a therapist that would be able to help me. like I said, I did pay for a private session for a psychologist, but while he suggested I could ask for more sessions in the future, I left it at that for now. I'm not sure if it's just me that's unwilling to actually follow through when I get cold feet, if I'm even trying to look for the right type of help, or even if I'm willing to help myself.

you could work out in the home before you shower. there's lots of body exercises that work really well.

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Normally I feel uncomfortable to share private things in the publicity, but since other people have done it, I guess there's no point of holding back.

I think - guess, not sure - I'm depressive since my half life.
It started when I was like 12. I always have been an introvert and egocentric person who only cares about himself. I was ambitious and diligent, was one of the best in my school class (best in math and geography). However I had no social contacts. I ignored other people and never felt for them because I was only focussed on myself. I had a few people I hang around with, but it's hard to call them "friends". 
My parents noticed that sth. was wrong with me and sent to a psychologist. You might expect it would make things better... but quite the OPPOSITE. I started to think about all my actions from the past. However it blocked my head so much that I totally lost myself. My perfomance on school went down massively and I started to become anxious towards other people because I always was feared to do anything wrong to the other person. Actually I just try to overcome with this situation right now... 15 years later.
I had no self-confidence and ambitions anymore, was feared of almost everything. The consequence was that I couldn't even find an education on my own after my school graduation. Speaking of education: The worst time of my life. It even made me to start videogaming again to get rid of my frustration. At this time I used it to escape from my life as other people do it with alcohol or drugs. However I could change the company of my education after 1,5 years, so the second part became much better. The education made even fun at the end and I came in contact with people I still even meet.
After my eduaction (with a good result)... again... I couldn't find a job. As "emergency solution" I had to go to university not to spend all my time at home. Again no earnings. However it made fun... till suddenly my mom suddenly collapsed on my arms. Thanks to a failed operation she became a heavy care phase for the rest of her life. I even have to be happy that she's still alive because her situation was critical for a long time. 
However this incident bounced the situation of my dad and me. I had to suspend my study for 1,5  years because I had to be at home for my mom while my dad still can work. However quite suddenly he decided to stop working and take the care of my mom all alone. What sounds quite ambitious and human was just a fake. He obsesses about the situation. He started to drink and forget his daily routine. He sleeps till midday everyday, even while carers are here to look over my mom. I'm just feeling embarrassed for everyone. And the worst is that he became choleric. There was no way to communicate with him in an ordinary way anymore. He tried to make a nice life with the money he gets. The situation at home made me so sick that I decided to move out. 
I'm quite happy where I live right now. I can continue studying, can do whatever I want, can work a part-time job (although all the earnings will be subtracted of the support from the town) adminstration). I try to catch up the missed years from my past. I still have to work on personality in so many ways. Same goes for appearance btw. I tend to change my appearance (mainly hair colour) in near future to make a cut in my life.

What I'm trying to say here is that there's no certain way to get rid of depressions. In my way professional help rather caused me it than solved it. I can be glad that I still have a few relatives like my aunt, former colleagues and even SF members who help me in any way. Without them Idk where I would be today...

 

Edited by Byakuren Hijiri

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I'm only really logging in to post this, because I think everyone should be watching this video. This makes sense of a lot of things, including as to why I was "depressed" for a part of my life and how I finally came through it. A lot of it has to do with the current type of lifestyle I'm going through, in which I simply shut off social media (huge-ass step) and not boggle myself down with food (also extremely overlooked).

 

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