Crime and Punishment - Fire Emblem edition!

[Punished Dayni]

You cause Judgral to explode because Sigurd is touching an alternate version of himself. You end up going with them. Xander would kick your ashes but he wasn't in the exploded Judgral.

I hide the key to Rhea's cell.

[The Roger The Paladin]

You're in the cell with Rhea.

I brick up the doorway to Bernadetta's room while she's out. Then I replace the door with a painted image of the door.

[null]

Bernadetta beats the living crap out of you for getting rid of her comfort zone.

I switch out all of Felix's meals with sweets.

[Dragoncat]

He immediately pukes it up and makes you mop it up.

I make a commercial for the next FE game in the style of "what happened to Dorkass"

[Punished Dayni]

2 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

You're in the cell with Rhea.

>Is not Byleth

Well at least it's not that kind of hell.

1 hour ago, Dragoncat said:

I make a commercial for the next FE game in the style of "what happened to Dorkass"

It becomes centred on the Dorcas equivalent falling off the side, because it turns out this FE's a CK spinoff and as a result the closest we get to war is killing other nobles in assassination plots As a result the protagonist ends up killing you at some point before the end, meaning you never get the true ending.

I pitch a Genealogy remake where the maps are split up but they're designed like 3H.

[DragonFlames]

You get an award from me.
But I let everyone die on the side.

I kill off every character I don't like regardless of their usefulness as a unit.

[null]

You get an award from Peri, who is the only one who can rival your killing ability.

I remove the part of Owain's mind that allows him to have an imagination, leaving him a boring shell of himself.

[DragonFlames]

5 minutes ago, twilitfalchion said:

You get an award from Peri, who is the only one who can rival your killing ability.

How can I get an award from someone who is already dead, though?

5 minutes ago, twilitfalchion said:

I remove the part of Owain's mind that allows him to have an imagination, leaving him a boring shell of himself.

He becomes a mixture of every brooding JRPG protagonist, combining all their worst traits without any of the good parts.
This also makes him far more popular than he already is for some reason.

I unironically like to use Ena in Path of Radiance.

Edited June 29, 2020 by DragonFlames

[null]

2 minutes ago, DragonFlames said:

How can I get an award from someone who is already dead, though?

 

Eh, good point. You get an award from Kaga instead, who always intended that units will die at some point and that the player should move on anyway.

------

Ike has no sympathy on your controller and smashes it to bits.

I send Marcia into a group of archers and hope for the best.

[DragonFlames]

She learns the art of "Arrow Return", which allows her to use the power of the wind, brought forth by the wings of her pegasus, to blow incoming arrows away. One of these arrows, however, hits your strongest combat unit at the time in a spot that completely disables their fighting capabilities. The knee, for example.

I build a Troll difficulty into the next Fire Emblem that doesn't change the enemies or maps at all, but has a random chance of giving you a game over whenever you do pretty much anything, from moving a unit to visiting shops to trading.
And the game over music will be this.

[null]

Kaga begins to stalk you for destroying his beloved creation and quietly plots your demise.

I send Ingrid to an all-you-can-eat buffet but with a muzzle strapped to her face so she can't eat anything.

[DragonFlames]

She becomes female post-time skip Dimitri and it's all your fault.

I give Felix a card that says "died like a true knight".

[null]

You don't last one minute before Felix chops you into little bits and burns your remains.

I force Sylvain to join a monastery and become a monk himself.

Edited June 29, 2020 by twilitfalchion

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

He starts hitting on people's SOULs, and Mind Rapes random people, including you.

I tell Claude that Ingrid is racist because she hates Duscur, without any helpful context.

[Dragoncat]

He responds with "none of my business yo"

I hit Linhardt with a tennis racket every time he falls asleep in class.

[Punished Dayni]

He ends up warping you outside in his sleep. Off a cliff.

I switch out the menu in Garreg Mach's dining hall with flour.

[null]

Raphael gets hangry and throws you over the edge of the monastery into the nearby valley.

I take away all of Flayn's fish and break her fishing rod. Wow, that's pretty heartless.

[DragonFlames]

Seteth and I come after you for making her cry.

I steal Sumia's pie.

[null]

Cordelia skewers you for making her best friend sad.

I rag on Cordelia for focusing so much on Chrom when there are plenty of eligible bachelors who would be glad to be with her.

[Dragoncat]

She makes a Tinder account and hooks up with sleazy douchebags for the rest of her life.

I dare Sylvain to give his beast brother a belly rub.

[DragonFlames]

He gets eaten.

I tell Lorenz that his parents found him in a trash can when he was an infant.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

"That wasn't very noble of you." *BANG!*
Game Over I guess.

I tell Birthright!Xander that his mother was murdered and his father is possessed by a dragon!

[null]

He kills you with Siegfried first and then commits seppuku.

I call Ryoma an angry lobster and pour a bucket of melted butter on his head.

[Emperor_Siegfried]

He retorts by grabbing hold of you by the ankles and drops you into a hot and boiling pot of butter while he tells you, "Let's see how you like it."

I replaced Rhea's hat with a Dorito Pope hat.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

She calls you out on your heresy and slaps the shit out of you, leaving you dazed on the floor.

I kill Dimitri and take his SOUL and torture it for my entertainment.