Dragoncat Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) Ionius was still alive when Patricia went to Faerghus. And we know what happened then. Good freaking LORD lol. Lambert: Suck it, old bird! I'mma fuck your wife. Ionius: Which one? Lambert: The pretty one with the purple eyes and the thiccness. Roar, mofo. Ionius: (dementia attack) Did the lizard people say something? Narrator: And little did Lambert know, that he wasn't tapping that anyway because Patricia would constantly say she had a "headache". This COULD have gone in the 3H board, but then I'd have to omit the shitpost and add serious stuff. So it's here. Feel free to laugh with me, or even add some lore I don't have, but meh. Edited May 23, 2020 by Dragoncat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 My headcanon is that Patricia was husband-shopping for Edelgard. And Dimitri didn't quite live up to her overly high standards. "He's good as a friend, I guess," is what I imagine. 😛 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 12 minutes ago, eclipse said: My headcanon is that Patricia was husband-shopping for Edelgard. And Dimitri didn't quite live up to her overly high standards. "He's good as a friend, I guess," is what I imagine. 😛 Okay, this is actually adorable. It was all a coverup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punished Dayni Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 Teehee. Patricia going around looking for Edelgard's potential husband seems like a ridiculous reason to marry someone else. (Also, she is one of the many things I'll have to figure out more on because AM was astonishingly vague on her fate. Don't spoil it in case it's in SS.) Also, I realised that Ferdinand von Aeigr is also Ferdinand von Quintessence. Imagine if he and Nergal met. F: "I am Ferdinand von Aeigr." N: Quintessence? …Don’t…under…stand… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 3 minutes ago, Dayni said: Patricia going around looking for Edelgard's potential husband seems like a ridiculous reason to marry someone else. Nah, dat bitch cheating. But I guess in her defense she wasn't Ionius' one and only, and Lambert was a lonely boy. 4 minutes ago, Dayni said: Also, I realised that Ferdinand von Aeigr is also Ferdinand von Quintessence. Imagine if he and Nergal met. F: "I am Ferdinand von Aeigr." N: Quintessence? …Don’t…under…stand… Is Aegir another word for quintessence or is this a reference to Aenir? I'm rusty on Elibe lore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punished Dayni Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 2 minutes ago, Dragoncat said: Nah, dat bitch cheating. But I guess in her defense she wasn't Ionius' one and only, and Lambert was a lonely boy. I guess there's a lot I'm going to have to look up after finishing SS then. Just now, Dragoncat said: Is Aegir another word for quintessence or is this a reference to Aenir? I'm rusty on Elibe lore. Aegir is the Japanese term that was translated to quintessence. The error in Nergal's quote was made because they mistranslated Aenir as Aegir. The answer to your question is yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 26 minutes ago, Dayni said: Patricia going around looking for Edelgard's potential husband seems like a ridiculous reason to marry someone else. (Also, she is one of the many things I'll have to figure out more on because AM was astonishingly vague on her fate. Don't spoil it in case it's in SS.) Like father, like son. . .no? 😛 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, Dragoncat said: Narrator: And little did Lambert know, that he wasn't tapping that anyway because Patricia would constantly say she had a "headache". I thought it was implied that they clapped cheeks. I find it hard to believe for a person to be consort without satisfying the reigning monarch between the sheets at least a few times. If she was a concubine in a massive harem, then it is more likely that she did not get tapped yet. Patricia never had a second child, so I guess it is possible that she refused his advances, but I think Dimitri's dad being impotent is more likely. If his dad had more mojo in his pants, we would be hearing a lot more about Dimitri interacting with his siblings rather than with Felix, Sylvain, and Ingrid. That said, I have not played Blue Lions though (I am still on Black Eagles), so maybe he mentions having siblings or something in the Blue Lions route. Edited May 24, 2020 by XRay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 10 minutes ago, XRay said: I thought it was implied that they clapped cheeks. I find it hard to believe for a person to be consort without satisfying the reigning monarch between the sheets at least a few times. If she was a concubine in a massive harem, then it is more likely that she did not get tapped yet. Patricia never had a second child, so I guess it is possible that she refused his advances, but I think Dimitri's dad being impotent is more likely. If his dad had more mojo in his pants, we would be hearing a lot more about Dimitri interacting with his siblings rather than with Felix, Sylvain, and Ingrid. That said, I have not played Blue Lions though (I am still on Black Eagles), so maybe he mentions having siblings or something in the Blue Lions route. Dimitri does not have siblings, no. It may also be a factor that he, you know, got guillotined pretty soon after he met her. They could have chow chicka chowed once or a few times I guess. If that was fruitful, the slithers killed her so she wouldn't blow their cover before she could give birth. It's all pretty sad regardless and I bet if shit hadn't gone down so soon they would have given Dimitri and Edelgard a mutual half sibling. If he had the mojo lacking problem as you suggested I'm pretty sure something would exist to cure that? Not the same stuff we have, but it's a world with magic and magic healing, maybe an herb exists for it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 1 minute ago, Dragoncat said: If he had the mojo lacking problem as you suggested I'm pretty sure something would exist to cure that? Not the same stuff we have, but it's a world with magic and magic healing, maybe an herb exists for it? I think Rhea mentioned doing something to Byleth by being a third wheel to Jeralt and Sitri while they were getting it, so maybe Rhea knows a thing or two about how to bring vitality to Lambert's little wyrm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, Dayni said: Teehee. Patricia going around looking for Edelgard's potential husband seems like a ridiculous reason to marry someone else. (Also, she is one of the many things I'll have to figure out more on because AM was astonishingly vague on her fate. Don't spoil it in case it's in SS.) Also, I realised that Ferdinand von Aeigr is also Ferdinand von Quintessence. Imagine if he and Nergal met. F: "I am Ferdinand von Aeigr." N: Quintessence? …Don’t…under…stand… Patricia is a fan of the whole "It's not incest if we're step siblings" hentai trope. 3 hours ago, Dragoncat said: Dimitri does not have siblings, no. It may also be a factor that he, you know, got guillotined pretty soon after he met her. They could have chow chicka chowed once or a few times I guess. If that was fruitful, the slithers killed her so she wouldn't blow their cover before she could give birth. It's all pretty sad regardless and I bet if shit hadn't gone down so soon they would have given Dimitri and Edelgard a mutual half sibling. If he had the mojo lacking problem as you suggested I'm pretty sure something would exist to cure that? Not the same stuff we have, but it's a world with magic and magic healing, maybe an herb exists for it? You know, I never considered it before, but this does open the door up to anyone with half a vague origin story as a potential sibling to Dimitri and Edelgard. Too bad the only named character in the age range that I can think of is Cyril who isn't possible due to racial reasons (unless...Patricia was Almyrian! And uh, Edelgard is just really fair skinned). Edited May 24, 2020 by Jotari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, Jotari said: You know, I never considered it before, but this does open the door up to anyone with half a vague origin story as a potential sibling to Dimitri and Edelgard. Too bad the only named character in the age range that I can think of is Cyril who isn't possible due to racial reasons (unless...Patricia was Almyrian! And uh, Edelgard is just really fair skinned). I would think Cyril being Claude's brother or cousin is more likely. 10 hours ago, XRay said: I think Rhea mentioned doing something to Byleth by being a third wheel to Jeralt and Sitri while they were getting it, so maybe Rhea knows a thing or two about how to bring vitality to Lambert's little wyrm. Rhea probably just thought Jeralt and Sitri were adorable and were gonna make her an army of little knights. She's a damn dragon, of course humans breed like rabbits in her eyes. The whole goddess vesseling thing aside. I bet that was the first time she saw a male human in love instead of just lusting, so it was probably both confusing and cute to her. Edited May 24, 2020 by Dragoncat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 (edited) 40 minutes ago, Dragoncat said: I would think Cyril being Claude's brother or cousin is more likely. Now that's just racist. 40 minutes ago, Dragoncat said: Rhea probably just thought Jeralt and Sitri were adorable and were gonna make her an army of little knights. She's a damn dragon, of course humans breed like rabbits in her eyes. The whole goddess vesseling thing aside. I bet that was the first time she saw a male human in love instead of just lusting, so it was probably both confusing and cute to her. You honestly think she's lived a thousand years and never once saw a man in love before Jeralt? Wow that's...incredibly cynical. Edited May 24, 2020 by Jotari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 1 hour ago, Jotari said: You honestly think she's lived a thousand years and never once saw a man in love before Jeralt? Wow that's...incredibly cynical. When people see two dogs clapping cheeks, a lot of people just think of it as two animals satisfying their carnal instincts instead of considering that the dogs might actually love each other. I think that is how Rhea sees humans most of the time, and we are just bald monkeys constantly indulging in lust who need to be put on a leash and occasionally culled. For Sitri and Jeralt, they are different since they are her personal two-legged pet monkeys, so she perceives more anthropomorphic (I guess draconomorphic in her view) qualities to these two animals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 (edited) 43 minutes ago, XRay said: When people see two dogs clapping cheeks, a lot of people just think of it as two animals satisfying their carnal instincts instead of considering that the dogs might actually love each other. I think that is how Rhea sees humans most of the time, and we are just bald monkeys constantly indulging in lust who need to be put on a leash and occasionally culled. For Sitri and Jeralt, they are different since they are her personal two-legged pet monkeys, so she perceives more anthropomorphic (I guess draconomorphic in her view) qualities to these two animals. Basically this. Rhea doesn't think humans can control themselves or are smart enough to lead their own countries without her help. The dog analogy works well, on some occasions a male dog can recognize that the puppies are his and act like a proper dad. So Rhea knows male humans can tell their kids are theirs. ...Oh my god, now I'm picturing Jeralt in a cone of shame so he doesn't pick at his stitches after Rhea saved his life. Lol. 2 hours ago, Jotari said: Now that's just racist. Exactly, Rhea is just racist, or speciesist. Edited May 24, 2020 by Dragoncat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, Dragoncat said: Exactly, Rhea is just racist, or speciesist. That comment wasn't related to Rhea at all. Edited May 24, 2020 by Jotari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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