Life

What's the point in asking for advice if you're not going to listen to it? If a girl tells you "maybe another time", she'll say the exact same thing the NEXT time that you ask her. This is true in most cases unless she explicitly shows interest in wanting to go on a date with you. If she names a specific other time, then it's not a waste. But if she just says something along the lines of "I'm really sorry but I'm really busy right now, how about another time", forget it. She's just not interested in you.

Floor 1 - Traverse Town Note: You can't pick anything other than Traverse Town to be Floor 1 but even in Riku's mode, it's the easiest floor you'll come across. The Heartless here are the perfect definition of mooks and you can pick up some pretty decent stuff along the way (Shadow, Soldier, Red Nocturne and Blue Rhapsody are all nice for a little while with Soldier being the only noteworthy Enemy card here). The deck that you start with is quite terrible for the most part but make do with what you have. The listed deck is how I ordered the cards that I had when I started the floor. It does not reflect the final deck walking out. Enemy Formations: Shadow x3 Red Nocturne -> Shadow x2 Soldier -> Shadow x2 Shadow x2 -> Blue Rhapsody x2 Shadow x2 -> Soldier -> Soldier Red Nocturne x2 -> Blue Rhapsody x2 Decks: Mook: 4 Kingdom Key 1 Kingdom Key 5 Kingdom Key 7 Kingdom Key 2 Kingdom Key 4 Kingdom Key 6 Kingdom Key 2 Kingdom Key 5 Kingdom Key 3 Kingdom Key 3 Kingdom Key 5 Blizzard 7 Cure 4 Cure 6 Potion Map: [ ] [5] [6] [ ] [4] [ ] [ ] [3] [ ] [1] [2] Room Synthesis: 1 - Moment's Reprieve 2 - Tranquil Darkness 3 - Feeble Darkness 4 - Teeming Darkness 5 - Feeble Darkness 6 - Moment's Reprieve (automatic) New Cards: - Simba - Guard Armour Level Ups: 2 - Sleight (Sliding Dash) 3 - CP Boost (300) 4 - CP Boost (325) 5 - HP Boost (95) 6 - CP Boost (350) Bosses: Guard Armour - This guy is a joke. Literally. There's so many different ways to fry him even with your limited resources but it's basically impossible to lose. My strategy for quickly disposing him basically worked like this: - Run his legs through with a couple of Sliding Dashes - Eat through the rest of the deck minus the Potion - Reload - Turn on Shadow/Soldier (Soldier is better but I only had Shadow) - Keyblade him to death and use Potion to reload when the counter hits 3 to save time Like I said, he's an easy boss. If you lose to this guy, good luck getting through Dragon Maleficent (hardest non-character boss in the game). Notes on Floor 1: Sliding Dash - Sliding Dash is a decent sleight at best for even Traverse Town. It takes about 2 hits to kill Shadows which is absolutely pathetic. The nice thing is that it hits multiple enemies and is nice for getting from one side of the screen to the other. Abuse it here but drop it when better stuff shows up (AKA higher numbered attack cards). Enemy Cards - Shadow, Red Nocturne and Blue Rhapsody are all nice cards to pick up but the one you want is the Soldier card. If you're going to use a Keyblade heavy deck, Soldier adds another swing to a combo for 3 Reloads. It makes micro-managing to make certain cards effective with an extra strike but it can be invaluable in shortening battles like Genie Jaffar or Cloud in the near future. If you don't pull anything on this floor, don't fret. Donald & Goofy - These two friend cards are incredibly nice to have. Donald will double cast a basic spell (Fire/Blizzard/Thunder/Cure) while Goofy will bash stuff with his shield. Both are really nice to have at any point but the real gold comes from sleighting 3 Goofys for Goofy Tornado. If friend cards pop up often in a long battle, sleight them to do pretty hefty damage to everything around Sora. Simba - Simba is great for earlygame sleights but if you're relying on him for damage going into Floor 5 and onwards, you're going to have problems. The best way to utilize Simba is to put him in your Mook deck rather than Boss simply because he's too pricey for boss battles (9 Simba costs 36 CP which is a bit of a rip-off when you realize that Cloud costs 7 more CP and blows Simba out of the water when it comes to power) and surprisingly, isn't amazingly accurate either. Proud Roar is nice for the stun and should cost about 74 CP if you've built it correctly (either 1/4/5 or 1/1/8) but remember to drop Simba as the game progresses. Guard Armour - Guard Armour looks good simply because it's probably going to be your first enemy card. The truth is... it's not. I can't think of a single scenario outside of Parasite Cage where this card would be good and I wouldn't even field it for that battle simply because I can just force a Trick card to drop instead.

Funny, that sounds like me.

How did you celebrate the Superbowl? Family, friends, what? What about you guys? I'm interested to know.

Welcome to Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. Or at least my run to break it to hell and back. Lemme just quickly preface over this game. CoM is unofficially Kingdom Hearts 1.5. What I mean by this is that if you were to play Kingdom Hearts and then go directly into Kingdom Hearts 2, the entire first portion of the game would confuse you along with most of the rest of the storyline. For example, when you get to the final dungeon of the game, you'll see a room with thirteen graves of your enemies. If that enemy isn't dead, the grave is lit. But certain graves aren't lit up even though you haven't even faced those enemies... Oh wait, you do that in this game. So yeah. From a story point of view, this game should have been called Kingdom Hearts 2. But it's not and for good reason since the current Kingdom Hearts 2 is one of the best games I've ever played. Now, what makes this game special is that it is a card based game. Normally those suck (I'm looking at you, Lost Kingdoms) but developers have gotten cards right before. My personal opinion is that you have to make the entire game about the cards (story too) along with a good battle system to pull it off. Kudos to you KH:CoM and Baten Kaitos Origins for pulling it off, you're the only two games to do that. Basically, Sora has a deck of cards which determine his attacks. Keyblades are for attacking with the Keyblade, Magic and Summons do what you think they would, Items reload certain things in your deck, Friend cards summon friends to the battle and Enemy cards add an effect to Sora. It's possible to run through a good 80% of the game with a shitty built deck but the later bosses get so hard that if you have no clue what you're doing when it comes to deck building, you're effectively toast (Hook, Dragon Maleficent, Riku IV and Marluxia I are the main bosses that I'm thinking of). I've beaten this game completely before on both stories (Sora's and Riku's) so I know what I'm doing. That being said, I'm going to break this game into oblivion on this logged run. It's going to be a different style log, one based more on data. It's more designed for me to keep track of what I need to do to destroy any given section of Castle Oblivion. I'll go into detail on any new cards that pop up (not so much for Keys but everything else) and another things, though. I guess the best way to describe this run is "I'm basically giving an outline of how to beat this game with as little pain as possible". View it as a dondon151 style playthrough. PS: I won't be grinding per say but I will start actively backtracking once Floor 7 rolls around. A certain card pops up then which doesn't force me to head back down the castle but let's just say that the rewards are more than worth it. Also, I will grind once a floor for Moogle Points but I will not force extra fights. Just a quick note. Because of the first thing, I will end up overleveled for a point in the game but it won't really matter (I'll explain why when the time comes). PPS: I won't be giving screenshots (unlike FF6) and there will be no telling of the story here. If you want to know the story, either play the game (I suggest the PS2 version for 3D graphics) or read a guide. PPPS: I haven't forgotten about FF6. But I need to grind for levels for a bit and this is designed to break the monotony of level grinding. So I will revert back to FF6 when I get to the right levels.

Finally. Best: Good little gi... You ever see a little girl with THESE before!? - Sylvia to Sigurd The Schaeffer death quote is also great. Worst: Not sure yet...

I've been considering looking for him for Bahamut since it costs 0 steps to get it. I'm also going to take a slight break since the next part will destroy my brain. And in the meantime, I'm going to start a "break the game into fucking oblivion" run of Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. No guide needed, I'm experimenting with it as we speak.

This is our last overworld trip (and the last time to abuse the AP gain) so enjoy it. Now that you finally have your full party, go wild with the enemies. Setzer's Slot still does some damage as does Edgar's Flash Tool (he's better off sticking to Magic though). Once you get to Darill's Tomb, use a Tent and save up. Oh and equip Amulets on everybody to avoid Zombie. Darill's Tomb is the reason why I had Edgar learn Teleport ASAP. There are two points during the tomb that we must use it to save steps and while we did get a Teleport Stone in Albrook, we'd still need to Teleport a second time. So that's why I bothered teaching Teleport to Edgar as soon as I could. Welcome to the center room of Darill's Tomb. Our first destination is the southwest corner. Generally, everything and their mothers inflict Zombie in this place. The Malboro isn't one of those but he can give you a bunch of other nasty status effects with Bad Breath. Amulets do block Poison so you should be OK for the most part. This is definitely the most insulting part of this run. Usually, trading the Regal Gown in for the Minerva Bustier (Colisseum win) is something I do after completing Darill's Tomb. But now I can't... God damn it. And it didn't even cost me steps to grab this thing. Hit the switch and then Teleport out. Exorays can inflict Zombie (surprise surprise) so either knock them out quickly or Amulet it up. In this case, I'd still try to take out the Malboro first to avoid Bad Breath. This time, head to the northeast in order to raise the water of that first switch room. Teleport back out right afterwards. The third run through the tomb has the party riding a turtle like it's nobody's business. Guess they all had pet turtles growing up too, eh? Hit the switch to raise the water and ride the next turtle to the doorway. This is another dud of a weapon. You can equip it on Setzer for a bit of a Magic Evasion boost but honestly, it's not that good (it's still not good even in a normal run). If Setzer wants to do damage with Attack, he needs front row with that thing on. Examine the gravestone to start a battle with the next boss (one of my favourites and also pretty damn hard normally). Dullahan looks amazingly cool. You cannot deny this. Also, he's basically Ultima Weapon without needing to steal a Ribbon. He likes his magic and he can get Rasped to death. The first thing he'll do is start off the battle with Lv? Holy. I can't remember the requirements needed for it to hit but even if it does, it doesn't do that much. Toss up your barriers like usual (Dullahan likes using Magic a lot so Shell is a must but !Morning Star will hurt if it connects) along with Haste. Afterwards, Rasp the sucker to death. You can try to outdamage him if that suits your fancy, mind you. If you do that, abuse Runic since he will toss out stuff like Holy and Blizzaga. If Northern Cross connects, hope that you get unfrozen before you die (if nobody unfrozen has Fire). Dullahan only has about ~1750 MP so it shouldn't be as long as Ultima Weapon. The Canadian government pays me $100,000 every time I break the speed limit. Not quite that pointless. Oh, I'm entranced by your lovely behind... in bed! Setzer will get the ship moving and screw the rest of the cutscenes. Save on the Overworld and we're ready (sorta) to take on Kefka! 8056 Steps.

The enemies in Figaro Cave have gotten a lot stronger. The newest addition is Dante, an undead wolf rider that likes using Lv. 3 Confuse. A Peace Ring or Ribbon will easily circumvent this problem but !Crystal Lance will hurt if it connects (Attack x3 I believe). The fun part is that these guys have a rare Golden Shield drop. And I have 2 out of the required amount of 3. Guess what that means! I don't have a good comeback to this line. Hop on the turtle to follow Gerad and his men towards Figaro Castle. Humptys take 2 MT Blizzaras or 1 focused Blizzard to hit the ground. The more MP cost efficient way when you face a bunch is to MT it up. Earrings help a lot in boosting damage. Same goes for the other enemies here but Neck Hunters take 2 hits to die. Shouldn't you not be able to talk if you can't breathe? Follow Gerad down into the bowels of Figaro Castle and forget all the chests. You'll find Gerad in the Engine Room. Suit up for the upcoming battle with an Amulet, Hermes Sandals and the Blood Sword. About time you acknowledged the old girl, Edgar. This is probably my least favourite WoR boss (Chadarnook/Lakshmi is a close 2nd) and maybe even my least favourite boss ever. The Tentacles are stupidly annoying since if you don't have inherent Haste, they'll set Slow on you and then start draining your HP away. It's stupidly annoying. They also like using Poison and Bio so the Amulet blocks that. The Hermes Sandals on Celes make the battle... well, easier. Three of the four Tentacles are vulnerable to poison so Edgar should use Bioblaster ASAP. After that, it's a waiting game for those three Tentacles to die from Poison damage. Celes can heal by attacking the non vulnerable Tentacle (top left) and once they all die, it's Blizzara time. Reviving Edgar has no point since all you get from the battle is AP and Edgar doesn't have an Esper equipped. Go get a new boss, same as the old boss. After the battle, equip Edgar fully (he needs Relics and Espers). If he hasn't finished Death, go with Shoat. If he has, Fire and Esuna are the next priorities so I'd go with Fire (counters Freeze which will appear during the next boss battle). After Figaro rises again, send it to Kohlingen. Setzer and the Falcon are waiting for us! Remember to save on the Overworld, don't want to do the whole "Golden Shield drop" thing again. Once again, force as many battles between now and Kohlingen for maximum AP gain. Sandhorses go down to Blizzara from either person. These are the guys that you're looking for. One battle will net 2 AP so suffice to say that you want to fight them. Pretty badly. Hit up the pub in Kohlingen to run into the albino flying pirate gambler with a scar named Setzer. So your ship broke in half and everyone else on it died. NBD, Setzer. Celes will snap Setzer out of his funk and it's time to hit up Darill's Tomb, the last mandatory dungeon of the WoR before Kefka's Tower. Before setting out, equip Setzer with his stuff. He needs Vanish ASAP so give him that while Edgar works on Esuna. Save outside of Kohlingen. 7803 Steps.

The goal now is to grind for as much AP as possible for Celes. She's got a quick trip to Tzen (or more specifically, just past it), the South Figaro Cave, Figaro Engine Room, quick trip to Kohlingen/Darill's Tomb and the inside of Darill's Tomb to learn as much magic as possible. After that, it's straight to Kefka's Tower. Yippie. Celes needs to know 3 specific spells (and anything that comes with them) before starting Kefka's Tower. Osmose, Cura and Shell (she learns Protect naturally). She's 1 AP away from Osmose so that's a given but needs 25 AP for Cura and then an additional 38 AP to complete Shell (25% at 1x, 75% at 2x). That's a lot of AP grinding that needs to happen. The nice thing is that Shiva teaches Blizzara at a 5x rate so Celes does have good offense at this point. In most of the fights at this point, take out the most dangerous enemy first since Celes will basically OHKO everything. Rukhs can use Shamshir which is basically Gravity and !Beak which sets Petrify (equip a Ribbon). A single Blizzara kills them. As for the Luna Wolf, use the Blood Sword to heal your HP and ice them to death. These guys are annoying. They'll show up in packs of two or four but unless they're the last monster left on the field, they use Flee on Turn 1, depriving me of possibly extra Exp (they still give off only 1 AP). Fuck. They're weak to ice, mind you. The goal here is to dispose of the Murussu first. He knows Snort and while he'll only use it while alone, it's a good idea just to take him out so that he doesn't get the chance. Once again, everything here is OHKO'd by Blizzara so just remember to keep Celes' MP up with Osmose (Rukhs have 100 MP and if you can drain it all, they won't use Shamshir). This is the closest we're going to get to recruiting an optional character. Sabin's in there and he's waiting for Celes to rescue the kid but... oh well. When you get to the desert just south-east of the Chocobo Stable, force a battle with one of these guys. Black Dragons have some pretty high HP (can survive two Blizzaras) but give off 3 AP. If you can force two or more, that's even better. But fight at least one of them since every other battle will only give you 1 AP. They also have !Bone Powder which causes Zombie (AKA Game Over). Equip an Amulet to make sure that you don't get hit by it. Here we are, the Tzen Chocobo Stable. Hope you forced as many fights between Celes landing on the mainland and now because she won't be fighting again until we hit the South Figaro Cave. In my case, I fought 21 battles including 3 Black Dragons for 27 AP. Managed to learn Cura and Shell is at 27%. That's pretty damn good especially because Edgar is ahead of schedule for his magic learning (he finished Death in the last battle before the end of the WoB) and Setzer is right on par (half done Vanish, almost done Esuna). Buy a Chocobo and ride it all the way to Nikeah. There's a hidden passage behind this house that saves steps. Head for the pub and speak to all of the gang members there. This is kinda insulting. I'm mere steps away from the Armour store and the Relic store and yet I can't visit either. And that Relic shop has Prayer Beads and Zephyr Cloaks... Clearly, they have been mourning long and hard for the loss of their old boss. No, he's Gerad. Just because he's a palette swap of Edgar doesn't mean he has to be Edgar, Celes. Gosh! All palette swaps of Edgar flirt with women. It's quite common. Brett Favre couldn't have called a better audible here. Celes will sneak aboard Gerad's charted ship and get a free ride to South Figaro. Head to the Inn to chat with Gerad. Afterwards, head for the Chocobo Stables and grab a Chocobo. I promise, this is the last time we spend money in this game. Ride the Chocobo to the Figaro Cave and save your game. Equip Celes with some Hermes' Sandals before going in. 7443 Steps.

If anyone wants to have their game checked over for balance purposes, I suggest you come to me. Simply because I'm not going to be playing for a while (not impressed by most of the quality of the play here).

The way you learn is by making mistakes. Simple as that. Don't let other people tell you what to do and make mistakes that way. Just be yourself and when shit happens, take it in stride. Also Colonel, go to the bar with some friends and chat to some women there. Don't mention anything about video games, just talk about... well, random stuff. Find a common connection and there you go. A couple tequilas later and you should be golden. And hope to god that she's got a low tolerance, it'll save you money.

Dear Eclipse, Not really. If you play in a cesspool, don't expect to find diamonds. Sincerely, Life.

The last time you played, I mind-fucked everyone around. So I can't blame them, honestly. I want to be an informed observer. Who knows, if the quality of play goes up around here, I might come back.

Time to respond to my lost little lambs. Dear Colonel, While I should be a Mod (I mean, who doesn't like my help topic, my dashing brown eyes and that winning smile of mine), I am not and have no power of my own to do such actions. And I truly wish Jarly was unbanned. Sincerely, Life. Dear Excellen, It is quite a good song but I believe that you might like since I feel it is better. And with such a refined music taste as mine since I bathe in Frederic Francois Chopin during my evening baths in the shower, how could you not trust my judgement?Sincerely, Life. Dear Furby, I have tried this once. Unfortunately, the power and acidity of my semen melted the metal of the cheese grater. Suffice to say, grater here, grater not here. Sincerely, Life. Dear Spy, I am considered the world's foremost expert on flower arranging, skyscraper building and Golden Sun games. So yes, I have. Sincerely, Life. Dear Kai, Sincerely, Life. Dear Lightning, It is indeed. However, the real question is "why is 42 to answer to Life, the Universe and Everything?" Only by finding the answer to this question shall you achieve enlightenment which is similar but not as impressive as my own. Sincerely, Life. Dear Scaramanga, You must NEVER question what a woman is. A woman is perfection thanks to her assets. Or at the very least, she is perfection for those who will never see true perfection. And by that, I mean myself, of course. Sincerely, Life. Dear Bizz, Isn't it obvious? Yours truly is certainly a Mafia phenom. Sincerely, Life. Dear Fox, I was quite heartbroken when Death left us. I teared for a bit. My fellows who were climbing the Yucatans with me at the time may even report that I let out a barely audible sniffle. Sincerely, Life. Dear Joey, You just lost the Game. Sincerely, Life.

IOS, this thread is a bad idea. I just looked through the kiss/crush/love topic and something like 75% of the posters there haven't had their first kiss. From my own personal experience, it's a bad idea to take relationship advice if you've never had intimate contact with anyone. Especially if most of the kids here are like 14/15 or so. Also, avoid friendzone like the plague. If you sense it, deal's off.

Hi, I'm Life Admiral. Remember, your buddy? C'mon Jaffar, check the name history.

You sound like a demented Andrew Ryan. And Andrew Ryan was already demented to start with...

Dear Kenshin, Yes, I quite enjoy the Kaiser Chiefs. They remind me of the first global rock band I joined, the Beatles. Of course, the Kaiser Chiefs aren't as good as we Beatles were in our heyday but they're easy on the ears for sure. Sincerely, Life. Dear Nightmare, It may be possible that your heart is simply one of the few exceptions that do exist over the years. I commend your attempts at living a healthy life despite such possible severe side-effects such as nausea, sweating, constant heart attacks, slight constipation, death and random colds. Please continue to persevere. Sincerely, Life. Dear Eclipse, I would do it if the quality of Mafia went up around here. Unfortunately, the mass majority of mafia players make a cage full of feces-throwing gorillas look like Albert Einstein and his brothers in terms of raw intelligence. So I'm afraid that I will have to pass at the moment. Sincerely, Life.

I think I'm gonna hurl...

I was kinda hoping that she was dead. Then this challenge would be over. But Celes didn't wake up so Cid decided to have some... fun. He's dead. So is Terra, Sabin, Cyan, Gau, Shadow, Strago and Relm. Stop asking. One that you probably sodomized for the past year. Why do you think Celes is still dressed like a ho? Stand in place for about 2 minutes or so to let Cid die. It cuts down on steps. I'd even wait 5 minutes just to ensure that he dies. I'll tell you what's wrong with him, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with him! Well, you were supposed to feed him and you didn't so it's kinda your fault, Celes. This reminds me of a commercial for the Israeli Post Office where a mother pretends to die just before telling her son something really important about the post office. Yep, Israel is fucked up. This is why FFVI is so much better plot-wise than FFVII. You have 10 people (Terra, Locke, Edgar, Sabin, Shadow, Cyan, Celes, Setzer, Strago and Relm) who all have... oh what was the word I was looking for... oh yeah, personalities. These are actual people stuck in a dire situation and aren't perfect by any stretch. I can even write essays on how each character is flawed based solely on their re-recruitment in the World of Ruin. Note that I am not including Mog, Gau, Gogo or Umaro but 10 characters is still larger than any cast that has followed this game. Take Celes in this scene, for example. Cid tells her that they're the only ones left on the island and possibly the entire world. Then he dies and Celes is left with no one. Locke's probably dead, Cid's kicked the bucket, the rest of the crew is god knows where, the world is rotting to pieces... so why bother living? Compare this to Tifa. Her boyfriend's a sociopath and a liar, he's stuck in a coma and the world's about to die thanks to a fight between Shinra and Sephiroth (personally, I'll back the guy who can use Magic and summon meteors from space). What does Tifa decide to do? "Let's wake up Cloud and take on Sephiroth like one big happy family!" This is absolutely stupid and strikes me as too Mary Stu-ish (everything will be alright when we all work together!). Like if Cloud snaps the fuck out of whatever funk he's in, we can save the world. It's just stupid how FFVII tries to portray all of their characters as perfect if they're not doing something idiotic (like if Cait Sith isn't selling out the party, he's gung-ho about helping out Cloud and co. for example). It makes them seem less real than they are. Maybe this is why I like FFVI? Maybe this is why I think that FFVI is actually a good game and it's fun, unlike FFVII? Who knows. /end FFVII rant. It isn't, you're actually dead. Suddenly, I think Cid's just faking so that he can yell "bitch, you got punk'd!" after we defeat Kefka. I mean seriously, how the hell did this get here? Time to start the World of Ruin properly. Make sure Celes is properly equipped (Blood Sword, Shiva or Unicorn depending on whether Celes knows Osmose or not, Amulet) and get moving towards the Chocobo Stable. Save first. 7113 Steps.

Dear Spoon, ... Sincerely, Life.

Dear Nightmare, I would like to ask every doctor who refutes this claim to come meet with me in person. For I have conducted hour long lectures on the application of open heart surgery and am well versed in the matter. Sincerely, Life. Dear Fox, I am Life. Nothing more, nothing less. I am the most interesting man in the world. I once kayaked for six months from Buenos Aires to Halifax and rode out a hurricane on the ocean just because I could. I have scaled Mount Everest while carrying two sheep and a full buffet on my back, needing nothing more than a change of underwear and a slightly rusty pick-axe. God once invited me over to dinner and made me the toast of the evening; I repaid the favour the next Thursday night with some nice Chinese food (God likes his sweet-and-sour meatballs). I am a romantic and have wooed the entire village of Ramat Aviv with both my voice and my noodle strudel. Simply put, I am Life. My favourite colour is blue. It is the colour of the sky, the water, blue cheese and the love of my life's eyes. Your flames will only grow stronger as the days grow longer. And then, suddenly, the woman of your dreams will be right beside you for all eternity and that passion that you share with her will know no bounds. Your goldfish should be resting in your pantry cupboard, the three cheese flavour. If they are not there, please forgive me for I am no psychic. I am just a mere mortal. Sincerely, Life.