Taka-kun

Just reminding that you forgot to adress this. Just popping in to say that the teaser with Joker was probably the best so far, because you managed to nail him spot on. Laying it out cleanly, he is really a prick but it's because his words ring true and one of his better parts is that he is not pretentious and he is far less judgemental because objectively states the facts, even if they are dripping with cynicism. I love such characters the most and I am glad that the one character I pay attention to you managed to show him pretty spotless. Should you ever find the time, I recommend finding more about Archer, who is Junichi Suwabe's (Joker's VA) most famous role and who I personally believe is the basis for Joker's personality (it can't be a coincidence). Well, I am being really demanding here since you just managed to push the right button on me. Also

To me it felt worse. Instead of holding Kamui at swordpoint (maybe he was gonna beat Kamui senseless and drag him back to Hoshido), Ryoma instead held Elise, Kamui's sister, at swordpoint when he made his demands. If he didn't know that Elise is sick, then he was just there to beat Kamui. But when he found out, he decided to go for the simpler method and go for it. He even said before that "there is no other choice but to cross swords" yet found the leverage he unwittingly held strong enough to coerce Kamui to their side.

Well, Ryoma still uses the situation for his benefit. It's true that he didn't need to move out of the way for the sake of Elise's treatment, but he did forgo his original plan to fight Kamui when he grasped the situation at hand and went "hey, I am on higher ground right now. I should make him to do what I want or he dies", essentially coercing Kamui to do what he wants. Not very honorable.

I am not proud of myself.

Oh wow, that's kinda simplistic. Kamui doesn't say what he wants to do in Nohr and Ryoma doesn't even bother to ask. "U return to us?" "No" "Shobu da!" Like, what the hell is wrong with their communication skills? Maybe some internal monologue would have cleared this up a little.

Now with all these ideas flinging around, it begs the question of how much you can bend the characters and the story without making it totally OC. I remember when I played Awakening and then looked up some fanfictions, it reeked of OCiness so much that I vomited Omg, the Robins. The setting of Fates is darn good, but it seems many are in favor of moving away from the initial premise entirely, at which point it could be reskinned into something else entirely (like Mighty No. 9 is basically Megaman without the name). Idk, fanfictions tend to be terribad anyway but the ones that I have genuinely enjoyed are either (1) Faithful to the source but putting an interesting spin on it or covering original stories or (2) The writing is so damn good anyways. Dameceles's story for example, audaciously completely removes Kamui, removing the "choice between two families" and instead just takes the characters and world and sail them into an AU. Doesn't detract the enjoyment as all since her writing is good with much thought into the worldbuilding itself. And food porn. I love em' food porn! The Metro 2033 universe has some pretty damn good fanfictions, some even managing to get to the point of publishing (since the original author gave the greenlight. Yes, even the original author approved). Then again, the fans of that franchise tend to be a bit more mature they don't obsess over waifus and husbandos for starters.

You are working quite fast now, aren't you? Well, the usual then. - Man, Camilla is creepy strong. Why is she in flames? Is it because she is hot? (I am not sorry) - Your description of Camilla v. Hinoka has definitely amped up your skills, since you have more focus on the battle itself and less on dialogue. The dialogue you did have was not the least wasted and informative, a definite upgrade from before. I like your focus on Hinoka's aerial tactics, not too unlike movie dogfighting. - While the writing itself is good, one thing bugs me. When they are all being close and intimate, both of them are in the air. On their mounts. Which has to flap their wings to maintain altitude. And considering the wingspan of both steeds, it's hard to be that close up without getting smacked in the way by the wings. Some trivia: In FE4 it was mentioned that the smell of wyverns makes the pegasi panic (similar to camels towards horses), as wyverns are their natural enemies. Which is why (at least in that game), pegasi are used in hit-and-run or charging in a wedge formation, relying on their superior speed. Your duel would better fit between two horsemen FYI, I am a tactics nerd - "Snipe her with a hand axe in the same leg [...]" Uh, wouldn't that just cleave the leg off? - I am half and half confused of why a war veteran like Gunter didn't relinquish Sakura of her batons immediately. I feel that he should know better but it depends whether they were visible (like if they were strapped to a belt or something). - Yukimura channeling Gandalf ftw! I'll admit that I haven't grasped the personality of the characters aside from the siblings well enough to make an assessment of your portrayal of them. But one thing for sure is that you are good with your air battles all those years playing Star Fox has paid off! Just some observations and remarks. I really don't have nothing more to add since this part is an improvement from before. Keep up the good work!

Japanese. English voices sound too edgy ...I watch anime okay?

Nobody thought about, idk, making Kamui a good character? I think canon!Kamui is so damn shonen it hurts, but his position in the story overall is very interesting, the worshipping not withstanding. Turn your sword against your relatives, no matter what side you choose, that's pretty deep. Most of the ideas I have heard is removing Kamui altogether or make two of them, which makes the whole "choice" thing kinda pointless anyway.

This thread is after all about how to fix Fates's story. Even if the original purpose is gone (suppleanting Yari with ideas) this topic is still about the flaws of the story and how to potentially fix it, which some have been helpful to give some various suggestions, for benefit of somebody at least. There is no justifying Fates's story. The characters maybe, but the story itself is trash. And considering how high IS set the bar, the harder the fall became. This forum has already established good things about the game so it's not like we are so hateful that we trash everything in the game. It's just that the main thing everyone looked forward to became the worst and it's understandable that people are dissapointed. I do feel sorry if the scenario writers waltzed in here and read all the negativity, but if they do, they hopefully learn what to avoid next time. Especially this player worshipping.

Am I having the misconception that Japanese fans in general don't like intricate stories? From what I can tell, they absolutely love this "hero vs evil dragon" thing, which was prevalent in FE1 and FE3, while we in the west like FE4 and FE5 for its intricate plot, human failings and grey morality? Of course, there are always fans of both camps but I thought one of the reasons IS still forcefully shove this dragon thing in is because Japanese fans love it and they are more important than us.

Just some comments about your prototype chapter: - The dialogue in the beginning is too long, especially when it comes to the part were they start strategizing. It would have been better if you interspersed some non-dialogues inbetween them, as personally, just reading dialogue after dialogue makes me lose interest in the content of it if there is nothing inserted which might be relevant. The part with Felicia was good, since it gave us some background about Nohr, but else the exact details of the individual battle plans were unnecessary. I suggest incorporating into the actual fights instead, like Takumi in his thoughts mentioning that he was going to fight Camilla but ended up intercepted by Leon. All but Kamui and Sakura have battle experience so they should just be entrusted with their task unless they work together. - You are explaining too much in regards with the stats as well. I know you have a more light-hearted atmosphere but I find it difficult to believe that Tsubaki, a veteran fighter, would rely on the opponent's unluckiness in his tactics. Again, have it play a role in the actual battle, don't just talk about it. - I know you are going for gameplay replication but my mind just boggles when the characters just switch around with the weapons as if all possess a hammerbag, I am a nitpicker for logistics. - Takumi being nice to Felicia? Umm, okay. She is still a Nohrian though. - "There were no sounds made aside the usual cricket chirping". Umm, I believe they brought their army with them? - Man, Corrin is mad. Serious communication failure. - So, uh, is it FE style combat now? With the opponents standing across each other and just casually taking hits or avoiding? Sorry, just being too nitpicky. - Neat trick with Leo. - I am not a fan of "Explaining your attacks" tropes so I will not comment on that. - "However, one of the roots [...]" I believe it's "none". I must say, the previous battle had better flow and I am being put off by the long dialogue that I forgot who was speaking. I suggest taking it apart and incorporate it into each individual's battle instead, as it allows for better flow and tracking of who is doing what. Aside from that, the whole atmosphere is dripping with hatred from both sides. I am not sure how I feel about that but it's probably because we haven't gotten proper characterization of the characters yet. Unfortunately, I cannot say I am entirely positive about this chapter part but I know you have done good revisions before so keep it up. You obviously have creativity embedded, it just that it comes out sporadically.

Well, that's more confirmation that the Japanese also think the story is utter crap, but did you manage to find anything specific?

Man, didn't know that some sprites would make everything so much more immersive. Though I imagine it must be a real hassle to make it.

Helluva nice! Finally gets to hear more of that excellent voice acting. Thanks for your hard work, man!

Oh yeah, now I remember. It felt like just a handwave for me, to explain why the Hoshidans never managed to find Corrin. Faceless as servants? Wut? Maybe they are the reason the maids and butlers are armed and trained...

Do you happen to have a pic of this? I am hesitant to get hyped again, but I do hope that the manga will closely follow the draft more than the game did. Or the game did and Kibayashi is actually a shitty writer.

I really like Robin (moreso than that Kamui) and I like how from the beginning, he can utilize both magic and sword and give a good feel for the attacks in FE. Then there is that oh so satisfying feeling of him surpassing everyone else in level. All the fliers is pretty fun to play with, coming up with tactics on how to perfectly position them to aid the rest of the units, doing surgical strikes and the like. Then there is Lon'qu, who is just awesome. And funny.

I have never heard that Nohr has a magical barrier, but Hoshido has a barrier to keep "hostile intentions" out, meaning that sending Nohrian soldiers would be ineffective since they would lose all desire to conquer Hoshido. Instead, Nohr (at least according to Ryouma) sent Faceless, conjured from their magic, who lacks emotions and can thereby pass the barrier, while still being destructive. This is all mentioned in chapter 4.

Yeah, the part of Mikoto being in Hoshido at the same time as Ikona feels so damn weird, but it's only implied via Sakura's A-rank support in which she states that she was "just born" (according to this translation) and that can interpreted in many number of ways. Like she was born the day before, or the month before, or the year before. Like everything else, this is pretty ambigious. The war must have lasted for a really long time, since back in the first trailer, a portrait behind Garon, watching Aqua dance, shows Nohr, in a complete different (and less evil) motif on their armor, fighting Hoshidans. So there has to have been at least one war before the game's events. The reason is never stated, but I interpret as Nohr having this conquest economy like the Roman Empire. Maybe Nohr just went up to Hoshido and said: "Join us or die" and naturally, Hoshido refused, leading to years of animosity, another reason why Hoshido might have been inclined to not help Nohr at all, even if they asked. I can still indulge in my logic since I haven't played the game yet. What I would like to see, is Kamui uniting dissatisfied group in Nohr during the conquest of Hoshido. To justify why Kamui would lead an army, have Kamui lead an army to pacify rebellious groups, like the Ice Tribe, while Marx is leading the invasion force, with Kamui linking up later with auxuliary troops. Since the groups have better relations with Kamui than with the Nohrian throne, they would be more inclined to follow Kamui in a rebellion in Nohr in the second half (actually justifying worshipping of Kamui since he actually did something). About Garon: Simple, make everyone else in Nohr assholes and opportunists as well. Garon may have started as an idealistic man like Marx when he was young, but then grew disillusioned and cyncial as time passed by (not uncommon in fables and history). There is also ongoing debate (which I do not intend to start here) whether certain countries need a tyrannical dictator to keep it together else it will be torn apart by warlords and military groups, so you could justify why Garon is needed in Nohr.

I want to point out her that this may not be true. The only times Kamui has ever mentioned to his/her memories of their time before Nohr was a fleeting memory of loving Sumeragi as his/her own father (sibling S-rank) and the shock memory of seeing Sumeragi arrowed. The assumption that he/she is the child of Sumeragi was told by the Hoshidan siblings. Kamui didn't even remember a single thing about spending time with their siblings and it could be easily explained to Hinoka, Takumi and Sakura that Kamui was born out of wedlock (Ryoma knew the truth) should they ever question why Kamui is the third child. For all we know, child!Kamui might have been told that their father was "far away" (technically true) and then got the chance to meet Sumeragi, introduced as their father.

This part: Isn't Hoshido supposed to have the protective barrier? Belka/Saizou supports mention that both sides have been sending agents towards each other for years. And well, espionage was the main role for real ninjas (but of course, assassinations Assassin's Creed style is the most awesome), so it feels weird why the Nohrians have so much dirt on the Hoshidans and not the reverse.

Damn, that likeness ChromxCordelia OTP confirmed. Now we just need side-by-side comparison of BlueGreatLordMatoi with amiibo Lucina.

Even the idea of this is appalling, but considering how much IS has f*cked up Kamui's family, it would just be more fuel to the fire.

Now now people, let's have decent family supports for once.