Saint Rubenio

Nooooo God fucking damnit. It's like I told Sooks. The second I went on record saying I have no idea how to solve the puzzle, I went and solved the puzzle immediately. Sheesh...

I've been trying to solve this one since yesterday. I haven't the faintest clue. I just don't get it. Please help. I feel like a complete idiot.

I mean, Eph said it himself, didn't he? She's so skinny nobody would be able to tell the difference. If nothing else I'll bet at least Lyon's gonna be ecstatic Corrin whacks Rinkah and Ninja Luigi Good, Corrin, good, hahaha! Kill them. Kill them now. I shouldn't. D E W I T Corrin goes swoosh You did well, Corrin. Rebellions are like seeds. Omg he really is...! True. Trench coats are way cool. Real Life is one of the worst games I've ever played. Too much RNG involved. Hah! I didn't know that could happen. Good to know that Oddleif has some badass moments as early as TBS1. That's 'cause Nid is awesome, of course! Eyy, Draggyman's back! Welcome, welcome. At one point I looked for a ranking of the Ys games. People seemed to consistently place it high.

Okay, so Layton is straight up just trolling me with trick questions right now. Starting to feel like a real dumbass, if the ironmans weren't enough proof already.

No worries, no worries. Whenever you have a moment.

Nazis, huh... Well, that's a foolproof way to make a villain. But the greatest villains need not rely on such crutches. See, Garon is brilliantly written because it's impossible to tell what he is. He's so badly written that he's an entity of his own. His affiliation is to evil itself, and his motivation is to appear as evil as possible at all times, even if it is detrimental to him and his established objectives. Garon is an extremely complex character with many ramifications to his personality. He believes rebellions are like seeds, a fact that is subtly conveyed to the audience through an ancient storytelling device known as "tell Corrin the analogy seven times in case they didn't hear it the first time." He is also evil and wants to destroy the world, another important and deep trait to his character that adds an incredible amount of layers to his backstory or something. The character arc that he undergoes is nothing short of genius, the way he develops from an evil caricature to an evil caricature T-posing on top of a throne. He is a master of deception and deceit, fooling his foolish children into believing he's just a bit sick, even though his skin is literally fucking grey and he delivers saturday morning cartoon villain speeches to anybody willing to listen. He also concocts a brilliant plan to get a bomb sword to the naive queen of Hoshido by having his child get captured by Hoshidans after Hans knocks Gunter off a bridge. He just knew that the Hoshidans wouldn't kill Corrin, or that Corrin wouldn't get away, or that Corrin wouldn't get killed in the scuffle or lose the sword or have the sword taken from them or literally any of the million things that could've gone wrong with his brilliant plan. However, Garon is not without compassion. Garon has a great love for his fellow man, a fact that he demonstrates by murdering Zola in Birthright for no reason and constantly threatening to "take care" of his most loyal subordinates even when they're still useful. Garon is a very expressive man, as evidenced by his smiley portrait and his tendency to T-pose when things are going his way or just when he's bored. Unfortunately, Garon dies in all routes of Fates, but even his send-offs are brilliant and deliver a worthy conclusion to such an excellent character. Particularly in Revelation, where he is absent for 12~ chapters and then warps in to say two lines and then get eaten by a face. All in all, Garon is a superbly written character that universities should analyze as an example of how to write a great villain for a comedy. No other FE character has made me laugh quite so hard. ...Where was I going with this? Ah, that does sound kinda cool, at least. Nah, there should be no need to get clansmen killed, unless you get something silly like 30 days. Just pick options that waste time in the darkness. Sylvis from Berwick Saga.

Hell if I know, to be honest. I might've gotten hit by the sleep staff, but my entire army was invincible. One more or less made no difference, it was a complete bore either way. Most likely I didn't even care. Though to be fair, I quit really early into the map, when I saw it was going to be just another slideshow. Getting all five trips was easy in my experience. Well, to be fair, it did help that, despite being on a second run and doing everything much better (or so I thought), I got... half a day more than in my first run. So I just did a few more "slow" options than I did in my first run and that was enough. The fifth return is super epic. Look forward to that.

I eventually discovered the meme while reading a LP. ...Of the fangame FE Green.

...What? I remember playing like, two turns of that map before having enough. It was the same as all the others: place my units forward, then watch the game play itself slooooooooooooooooowwwwwwly before doing the same thing again, over and over until everyone is dead. Add to that the narrow hallways preventing fast progress, and well... Yeah. I had enough. The RD version of the pitfalls was already boring, if the PoR version is even worse I 100% lucked out. Well, what can you do. I already call it the worst FE game I've ever played - imagine if I got there. It'd... still be the worst FE I've ever played, but probably even more so. So let's be glad I didn't get there, eh?

Without a King. That was the chapter where I finally went "wow, this is the most boring videogame I have ever played, let's go do something else." Seems like I didn't have that much left of the game. 8 chapters, one of them a two-parter. But I honestly couldn't handle it anymore. The game was already kind of a slog, but around Crimea Marches my army became completely invincible and the game turned into the embodiment of boredom. Slow, too, oh so slow. Yeah, at one point MM piqued my curiousity... Until I discovered that it was the exact same thing, except there's twice the enemies, so the boredom lasts two hours instead of one, which was already way too much. No, thanks.

No, you must be mistaken. Overwatch is an ability that only Alette can get, and it makes her utterly broken. That's the second redhead sniper in green robes that is overpowered and has an ability called Overwatch I've seen. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice, right? I'll have to take your word (and the fanbase as a whole's word) for it. Past the point where I quit in my run, my only exposure to FE9's story was a screenshot LP I read once a crapton of years ago. I can hardly remember any specific details. Yeah, that at least was neat. Fleshed out vendor NPCs is a neat idea. Well, when talking I tend to use AM/PM but when typing I tend to use military time. I do feel military time is more self-explanatory. Damnit, is it so difficult to find another villain that T-poses on top of a throne for no reason...? Hey, now, let's have some faith, I'm sure it can't be that b--

I like how casual everyone is about the horrible thing that happened. A heinous crime has been committed, someone is missing and everyone is like "hmmm this reminds me of a puzzle." Also, I lost track of time lol. I usually dine between 20:00 and 20:30, but it's almost 21 and I was still here finding puzzles. No problem. Try to remember though, I'd really like to see it. Now that you've seen my team, it's only fair! You know, now that you mention it, I'm not sure why Gunnulf's speech is weird like that. Considering the idea of alternative languages is never brought up, I'm thinking Gunnulf might just have a speech impediment. Wait, wait, hold up a moment. I need a longer answer here. Do they suck like most of them where they're just kinda boring, or do they suck like Garon where they become the funniest shit ever because they're so incredibly bad? ...I kinda hope it's the latter. It would speak poorly of the quality of VC's writing, but Garon is the best, so... Have you even gotten Overwatch yet? You don't know what OP means until Alette gets Overwatch. Another reason we need a translation for it. No kidding. The Shura choice, day and night cycle, dancer lord, heavily armored man named Frederick, brave tomes, edgelord main character... Blazer and Kaga are where it's at! The bad parts?

@lightcosmo Either you forgot or you couldn't find it, but since you didn't show me your TLP team, I've decided to instead show you mine. Here's my endgame TLP team, with only 4 characters that can be described as objectively "good." This is what my teams usually look like. Draw your own conclusions. And as a bonus, here's my answer to your claim that you need Kelik for the final boss. Spooky TLP spoilers, for those of you who haven't played it and care even slightly. Well, you're an exception, then. Blazer one-upped Kaga at his own game. Who woulda thought... Unfortunate that most are untranslated. I'm not as versed in the art of google-fu as you are... Hm. She's beautiful though. Pfft, lethality... Yeah, and no crit weapons, so it's useless on him. Unfortunate that his crit anim is so good, because you'll only ever see it in that one crit compilation Blazer himself uploaded. Hot takes, as hot as the burning sun. Oh yeah. True. I forgot about that. Then there's no doubt that revenge wasn't why he messed with Sam, so... Yeah. Oof. Yeah, he's lying across the kitchen table from Josh. Only modern? FC kept bringing up Estelle's "sexiness" (or lack thereof in some cases) even though she was a minor.

He actually did. Vestaria came out years after TLP. It was Vestaria where a map has a day and night cycle, wasn't it? Yeah, that's the one. Holton's great. He thinks he's hot shit, but then you bait him with a munio druid and he deals zero damage and becomes a sitting duck. Custom animations be damned, Lanmark is way more challenging, thanks to his higher defenses and throne. Not really related, it's just something I like to remind everyone of when I get the chance. I feel very little about either of them, to be honest. I like Felicia better as a character, but as a unit she's kinda crap while Jakob can do some stuff until I bench him for units I like better. Once again, generic maid >>>>> either of them or Flora. Well, I do like strategy games. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Damn you, Teehee! Why must you all love anime so much!? I can't get a good recommendation outta you, it's always anime this and anime that...!

I beat the funny 72 turn map from TLP in 20 turns. Didn't even have time to see the allied reinforcements. Oof. Gotta say, I love how that map has a day and night cycle. It's a really cool idea... even if it does turn the map into a FoW map halfway through. I really need to try XCOM one day. It's been too long. No, they just killed God with iron weapons. Need I link the video of them killing Anankos again? Don't give me an excuse man, you know I'll do it.

Good work, Sooks. Good work. I get a little carried away. Hot take of the day: Fates generics >>>>>> the only Three Houses generic that is memorable. Ohhh? With all the time travelling shenanigans in my LPs, it wouldn't even surprise me. I mean, so is Leo, but that doesn't mean Dwyer and Forrest deserve not to exist. Because IntSys be like Incidentally, I discovered after you showed me this that it's the same voice actor as Frollo.

...what. Generic maid still best maid, is the conclusion I draw from this.

I lied. I solved another puzzle before I called it quits because my brain was starting to shut down from exhaustion. I was not expecting this to be the kind of game where I'd find myself going "one more X," but such is life. It's been a while since I last had my outlook on a game change this dramatically from childhood to adulthood. I'm all over this shit right now lol. Plus liking the big brain game makes me look smart in the eyes of others, which is good for my ego. Quite true. Yeah, that's a good assessment. It's a comfy game, that much is certain. The kind you'd play with a blanket on and a nice cup of hot tea on the table. Y'know, if you weren't afraid to pour the tea all over the keyboard of your totally legit Nintendo Dual Screen. ...Well, until the picarats start going down, making me feel like a dumbo, and the hoarder mindset sets in and makes me hesitate to spend my hint coins. I'm committed to the ironman, though. I want to see how many picarats I can accumulate by the end. We can call it the "how dumb is Ruben" gauge. It was a 99. A fucking 99. Damn you Felicia. This is why I prefer Jakob.

Okay, last puzzle and then I'm calling it a night. Man, though, this is so much fun. Why did I find these games boring when I was a kid? Shrimpy lost the ironman. That is the only detail anyone needs to know. "Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

Yours, maybe. I believe the puzzle I presented was perfectly logicable. I got through, didn't I? Maybe I intended to get all those units killed. They were mere distractions in the way of the warlord Yubello. ...Wait, how could I have learned everything I know about tactics from Benice when Benice started playing FE after me and was inspired by my LPs to do his own? Something's not right here, man! A poor attempt at slander, old man! I am too smart and wise not to figure your tricks out!

I like how you just bolded two statements and called it a day. Very funny. And no. You failed, Armagon. You see, I did solve 7 puzzles, that was true. The second statement was also true, none of my failures were shameful - forgetting that the morning sun comes from the east is a completely reasonable mistake to make. The fourth one is the most correct of them all. Therefore, the solution is "I am very smart and wise." That is wrong, in actuality I am extremely smart and wise. Better luck next time.

I have solved 7 puzzles so far. I haven't lost a single picarat to shameful failure. I am very smart and wise. Everyone should love me. ...Now, here's a puzzle for y'all: One of the previous statements is a lie. Can you point out which one it is? Fates can't be weeb. I'm not a weeb and yet I like it. ...Because of Garon.

Soooooooooooooo Fates?