Saint Rubenio

How dare you diss my boy The Last Promise, I'll kill you. We just have to be glad that the totem didn't show Chris shooting Ashley in the face Ahh, details, details. Insignificant little details.

Emily is one of the most hated characters, so that's no surprise. Oh yeah, it would've been... pretty bad if you had done that, for reasons that I will tell you in due time. There's no need to be nervous. Now that you have solved the mystery, there is no danger at all. You can just sit back and enjoy what's left of the game. Yeah, I did tell you that the beginning was a pretty obvious parody of old slasher flicks. The characters are all blatant slasher stereotypes. It gets more serious as it goes on.

That much I agree with. You can trust me, Sooks.

No reason. I mean, I did. I used Niles, Nina and Shura. You know who I didn't use, though? Mozu. Yeah, that totally was worth cutting off a couple fingers with said machete. I cannot wait for the sequel: Until Dusk, where Mike sits in the hospital's waiting room all afternoon to get his tetanus shot. Looks like you're in the clear, Sooks. You can now relax.

He took over the world after Reese died because of him making chapters 9 and 10-1 more difficult by existing. It was his evil plan all along. That is an unfair and baseless assumption. You're hurting my feelings here, Sooks. That isn't true at all. The one in Gaiden/Echoes where there's just one cantor on a boat and you have to get to him by fighting a million zombos. It's really great, and you get Shura after it if you're a smart person!

Right... Well, to be fair, being as good as Shura isn't easy. Good effort on the game's part. I'm afraid I missed the name of it. I like how her class is straight up "goddess." Vain much?

I still think fast light mage dancer lord who promotes super early to get staves and innate renewal is like, the best lord concept in the history of FE and FE fangames both. Nothing compares. C'mon, there doesn't need to be an ulterior motive to every one of my reactions... You're welcome! On a scale from "cantor on a boat" to Shura, how enjoyable is this boat map?

I am a very stupid man and died in a really funny way in TLP. That is all. Best of luck to you in the future.

Finally, Butterman. Finally.

Guys, guys. End of all best final map theme. That's your hot take of the day, stay tuned for more tomorrow, when I release my "why The Last Promise's story is actually okay" essay. Oh yeah, I caught sight of it a while back. It looks great. I have fond memories of Metal Slug from my childhood. My favorite used to be Tarma. Now it's Eri, I think. Well, could be worse. I believe you could have a couple more deaths by now, so hey, it's not horrible! It's just kinda bad. Nothing to worry about, carry on! O O F Well, we'll see if it is important in due time, won't we? Hahahahahaha... Yeah, I cannot deny it. It really is a great excuse not to go outside. Hah! Unfortunately, I don't think so. She was a woman, for one.

Suuuuure.

Oh no, where will you get your hentai now? Jokes aside, that's too bad. It's certainly not a pleasant sound. Probably not as painful as burning to death, though.

Ahahahah! Yes! I did it! For the first time, I have defeated Cid in chapter 5x! And I didn't even need any crits. Hell yeah. For those of you unfamiliar with The Last Promise, Cid is a level 7 halberdier. You know, around the time my units are level 8 unpromoted tops. That being said, Siegfried, one of the lords, is a prepromote with huge experience gains and Sedgar/Wolf tier growths. By giving him a lancereaver and enough experience (he gains as much experience from fighting as he does from killing, so he can grow really quick by just Jeiganing), it's possible to defeat Cid and get the droppable boots he's carrying. Why is he carrying boots when he's supposed to be unbeatable? I dunno. This hack is fascinating at times. Anyway, Kevin's definitely getting those boots. I mean, of course he is. Look at him. How can I not give the meme boots to this person? It's just perfect.

That word is just a work of art. R.I.P. And wrong. Never forget wrong.

Man, you know I've played way too much Fates when I tried to set up an attack stance with Corben and Shon. Yeah, good idea, me. That's totally gonna work.

So I had my ears cleaned by the otolaryngologist. Beautiful word that is. I can now hear sounds I never thought were possible. Also, I now realize how frigging loud I talked before. No. Bear with it. Ahhh, well, mistakes happen. Carry on. If the guidance totem jumped off a cliff, would you follow? Gaggles is now the Gaggler. Also, I like how you used Clarisee's wounded portrait instead of her normal one for some reason. Eh, details. Can you make the game not take 50 hours to get to the point? This is when you should've realized the game would actually be perfectly fine. It's not the first time we've seen a game get hated because people ignore everything that isn't the text, now, is it? Ruben's take on Revelation be like

Such a shame. Oh well. You can get them an S support and unlock their paralogue. Can't do the same with Josh. ...or can you? Hahahahahaha. Probably. Probable as Mike dying from a nasty infection from cutting off his fingers with a rusty machete--

Oh well. Too bad. But hey, at least Chris's crush survived! Now you get teen drama. Thanks. I do try. Until he finds himself hanging from a cliff and the loss of fingers prevents him from getting a solid grip. And then he falls. To his death. Painful and agonizing death. ...Just a hypothetical, though, that doesn't happen in the game. Probably. Those two have found themselves in quite the predicament, haven't they?

C'mon, don't kill Ludin before he can fulfill his character development. Hahahahahah... Okay, that's absolutely hilarious. Apparently there was "no contest", but you didn't care enough about either to actually make a decision lol. Oof. Oh, well, at least she's alive. Probably. I'm not sure about the flare gun, actually. We'll have to see how it pans out. I don't remember, actually. I'm not really an expert on the different kinds of totems. Hush.

I mean, the final map's theme is taken straight from Trails. I will forever associate Silver Will to divine lightning because of that game. Until Dawn is what I'd call the best of this "interactive movie that we pretend is a videogame" genre. I believe the dumb writing and acting was on purpose, as the game (well, at first, anyway) is supposed to be a half parody, half love letter to over-the-top slasher flicks from the 80s, in the same vein as Scream, if you've ever seen that one. On the gamey side, there's some choices that have some surprisingly big effects, which is more than most of the genre can say. Don't expect anything on the level of Banner Saga, but it's pretty okay as far as this genre is concerned. It ain't no Heavy Rain. There's the odd "haha you get to pick two options but they both lead to the same conclusion" moment, but it's less common than usual. Most notably, you can get every single character killed. That's what the marketing says, and it's technically true. Compared to something like Heavy Rain, there's only 2 characters out of like 9 that are safe until the end, unlike Heavy Rain where... it was also 2, but there were only 4 characters, so it was much more jarring. I wouldn't advise going out of your way to find out which are the safe characters, though. We don't want... accidents, to happen. I'm rather familiar with the game, having watched a few playthroughs, so please, do keep me up to date. Don't go gettin' more archer ladies killed now.

Hmmmm... What next, I wonder. I've been having a craving for The Last Promise. I've played enough Fates for now, but at the same time... I'm also curious to use Mozu in Conquest and finally see what the hype is all about. Pffffft just kidding, my next Conquest run is 100% gonna be generics only. Maybe with the exception of Kumagera and Haitaka, because... well, when you get down to it, they're generics with a different face. Perhaps a lunatic run, even. When going over enemy lists in the good wiki, I noticed the stats don't change so much, it's just the skills and density of the enemy. The former sounds like it'd be a nice thing to turn against them... Nah, but I'll play TLP next. I wouldn't want to burn myself out on Fates. Just some chill GBAFE sounds good to me. That, and Project Zomboid, which I've been rediscovering lately. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a zombie survival simulator that is quite realistic. This makes it extremely difficult, or maybe I just suck, I don't know. It's really fun, even though I can hardly last a day, haha.

Wasn't even that bad. It was annoying and dumb, but it was far from the worst maps in the series. Hahahahaha... "OP" generics. I loved that. They grew well, but... I wouldn't call them OP by any stretch of the imagination lol. For once we agree. I'm afraid I didn't marry Fuga after all. No room for him at first, and by the time I finally had some I no longer wanted to taint my perfect generics only run. As for what Kana's hair color is... Dark brown, apparently, like Fuga's eyebrows.

I just found my first posts about Fates, for nostalgia's sake now that I am officialy the Fates fan of the thread or something. I almost didn't try it out because a different game ran so poorly on Citra that I almost assumed Fates would be the same. Holy shit, imagine not trying out Fates... Also I have a better idea: How about I don't? And what do you mean, actual characters? These guys had so much personality solely thanks to their portraits. I think my favorite was... Not sure if Brigitta or Suzume. I've talked about how much I love the strategist's smug smile, but you know how everyone smiles or something like that when the odds are in their favor for a fight? Suzume just frowned slightly harder. What a wonderful little detail. Girl's so metal, I love her. ...You know, this reminds me, I once had an argument with that Ottservia guy, before I played Fates. He insisted that Fates's artist was the best the series has seen because his portraits have so much personality. I could see no further than the fanservice, and thus I vehemently disagreed. He was right. I don't know if you're reading this, but... You were right. You were completely right. Fanservice aside, I now love this artstyle. It's great. Still wish there was less fanservice, but... Yeah. Sorry! Hahahahaha... Yes. Victoree, victoree. Don't forget, these are Revelation's generics, who come without skills and unremarkable stats. Now imagine a generics only run of Conquest, with all the enemies carrying skills they normally wouldn't get and stuff. Now that sounds like so much fun. Ahahahahahahahahahaha... Genius. I love it. Thanks. Please do. But why? Don't you want to experience T-posing Garon firsthand? I recommend it, it's really worth the trouble.

I just noticed Suzume capped magic. Wow. If her bulk wasn't what it is... Then again, Setsuna got way more statboosters... Heck, pretty sure Suzume straight up didn't get any... Fuck it. I'm sorry, Setsuna. To think I was the self-proclaimed Kaga elitist... Guess I can't call myself that anymore. Heck, I'm pretty sure I'm more of a Fates fan than you two now! As a whole, I mean. We all love Conquest. Next time you want someone to play Fates, show them this. If it doesn't convince them, I don't know what will. Incidentally, any thoughts on the team Sooks? Or anyone, really. I'd really like to know what you think.

So, Fiya Emburem F8s: Revelation. That was a fun experience. I honestly didn't find the map design to be that awful, save for a couple of exceptions, but hey, both Conquest and Birthright had exceptions of their own, so that's not too bad. Besides the ice chapter and the two awful maps where I had to wait for platforms to take me where I needed to go, I found the gimmicks to be unironically fun. White and Black Flames were highlights, great maps in my humble opinion. The difficulty plummeted a bit around the end, but I'd take that over Birthright's hilarious spike that resulted in me having to just barely warpskip Garon because otherwise it was completely impossible. As for the plot, while it wasn't as consistently hilarious as Conquest's, it did have T-posing Garon. That alone made it worth sitting through. God, I laughed so much at that... So yeah, overall, I enjoyed myself. I don't know how much of that stems from my decision to use generics only. I'd say a significant amount, given how infamously horrid the balance in Rev is and how hateable the Nohrian Royals are. As it is, however, I will place Revelation... Right above Birthright. They're more or less on the same level, but Birthright has a couple of seriously awful maps and overall I'd say it was a little more boring than Rev. Here's my team, if you're curious to see what an army of generics looks like by the end. So would I. You kidding me? It was fucking hilarious. Everything Garon in this route was amazing. If I had to rate the Garons, I'd say it goes Birthright <<<<<<<<<< Conquest < Revelation. Conquest's Garon is more consistent in his hilarity (I still remember how much I enjoyed that he kept repeating his "rebellions are like seeds" nonsense over and over), but Revelation has T-posing Garon. So, Rev win, but it's close. Great. Thank you so much Fates. I don't know. More? Why mourn him? I'm happy for him, if anything! He got the most appropriate send off for a character like him.